Public Breastfeeding Debate

I was driving home from Medicine Hat today and listening to one of my favorite programs on Sirius Cosmo Radio which is "Cocktails with Patrick". He wanted to discuss something that happened during his morning commute on the subway (New York City). He said he was on a very crowded train, when a very attractive woman started breastfeeding her baby.

Now his issue wasn't with her breastfeeding so much as he was questioning whether it was kosher to do this without bothering to use any discretion whatsoever. She didn't use a blanket, coat, shirt etc to cover her breast in anyway so her areola (the dark circle of the nipple) was visible to the entire crowded train including but not limited to the strange men sitting on either side of her. Patrick also said that he took in the reaction of the other people and every single person on the train seemed to have a look saying that what she was doing wasn't appropriate.

So how do you all weugh in? Let me share with you my view point and then some of the listeners that called in. In my opinion it is fine to breastfeed in public but it is common courtesy (and personal comfort) that a woman should make an effort to not expose her privates to the public (a.k.a. use a blanket to cover up the act). My reasoning being that we live in a very sexualized society where the breasts are a sexual organ. If it is censored on public television that you shouldn't be able to have a live showing of it right? I have spent 25 years of my life covering up my "bathing suit" area and not letting just anyone see it so I can't imagine converting to a public breastfeeder myself let alone doing it with visible nipples showing...my experience with my exhibionist breastfeeding sister-in-law has only strengthened this viewpoint! Why would I want to allow others to see my breasts without earning the privledge??? Ha ha

The majority of the listeners who called in supported this (saying that breastfeeding was fine but that she should have covered herself up somehow) with a rare few saying it wasn't a big deal and she should be allowed to do that and that people should just get over it. Here are some of the specific comments that I remember:

• 100% if the states say it is legal to breastfeed in public & it is not an indecent act.
• Yes breastfeeding is a natural act however we all do lots of natural acts that aren't appropriate for public viewing at different levels of extremity (a.k.a. passing gas to going to the bathroom to having sex to making out, etc).
• As a mother you should be prepared for circumstances such as these by carrying either a bottle for feeds or even just a blanket or bib to cover yourself.
• There is something called a "Hooter Hider" that is an apron like thing you can use to safely cover your baby for private breastfeeding (check it out at http://www.psychobabyonline.com/site/epage/28160_533.htm)
• The mom might not thing it's a perverted act however you can't control the minds of the perverts beside you!
• Some breastfeeding mom's said when your milk lets down you gotta breastfeed no matter what cuz it is so painful.
• Another listener pointed out that young men are taught from a very young age that breasts are a private thing for woman so having them on display would be very hard for them to understand public breastfeeding plus seem like a "naughty" and thus arousing thing when faced with it.

Patrick himself said that he felt both aroused and put off by this woman's apparent lack of concern for her boob hanging out on a crowded train. Where do you weigh in? Please post your comments!

How Life Changes...Part II

First I just want to give a shout out to my "loyal readers" who obviously keep checking for blogs even though I have been so neglectful... I love that you guys read this and are interested in what I have to say!

Okay, so where was I? Hmm, oh the good doctor wanted to offer me the position after he "worked out" the details, whatever that meant. Again, I was quite surprised as I really didn't have any faith that he was going to offer it to me. When I left, I got the impression that he didn't like me much. It was weird. In fact, when the phone first rang I saw that it was him and decided not to answer it yet but to call back a few hours later (as I assumed it was a 'thanks but no thanks' call). So I agreed to meet with him Tuesday morning, after I got back from Texas, so that he could show me in detail his exact expectations and what he was willing to offer me.

Our (my Director Diane & I) flight to Dallas was scheduled to leave Calgary at 7:00am, so with the latest international flying restrictions we were encouraged to arrive at the airport about 2 hours prior. Factoring in the drive to Calgary we should have left Red Deer at about 3:30am. I was carpooling with Diane there (her husband was kindly driving us there so we didn't have to park a vehicle) and she figured if we left her house by four that should be enough time. Me, ever so anal, was freaking out about not having enough time but just smiled and agreed. Since I am both a procrastinator & a night owl I stayed up all night getting packed and preparing for my trip. I got to Diane's about quarter to four hoping to get an earlier start then planned but she wasn't quite ready. I was disappointed to learn that we were going to be taking her Mustang to Calgary (P.S. She won that Mustang through BeautiControl!), not because I don't like Mustangs but because they are mainly a sports car and maybe not the best option to take all my humungous luggage on the newly snowed on highway. My assumptions were both correct: only my luggage squeezed into the trunk (diane's got moved to the backseat) and the roads got very crazy between Drumheller and Calgary. However I was pleasantly surprised to find that I had plenty of leg room in the backseat!

Long story short: although we got to the airport at about 5:30am we still arrive well in time to sit in the lounge for about 20 minutes before boarding. Not too rushed but not too long. Through the drive I only managed about a half hour's sleep and then I got about another hour on the plane one my seatmate felt sorry for me and refused to continue our conversation so I could nap...I really enjoyed my flight to Dallas as I scored an emergency row!

Dallas looks a lot like a combination of Lethbridge & Calgary...except with American flags all over! The weather was gorgeous (20s & sunny) if not a little humid. When we went to register for our rooms there were over 150 people waiting in line to do the same! Thinking on our feet we went to register for our conference first and scored with no lines! However when we went back to room registration the lines were just as long (though no longer). Diane had a Director's meeting she had to be at shortly so I offered to check into our room while she headed to her meeting. After waiting in line for over an hour and a half the attendant wouldn't let me check in as my name wasn't on the room, only Diane's (let this be a lesson to all of you!), even though I had cash to pay for the entire three nights for both of us (so nothing to be left on her credit card).

Um, well as you may have guessed if you picked up on the lack of sleep, I had a bit of a breakdown...with tears. I hate crying in public because I don't cry pretty - we're talking red blotchy face, snot, the works - and cuz I hate looking unprofessional especially in front of 150 of my new peers. I headed to a bathroom to have my breakdown in private and sought help when I thought I was prepared to talk without crying. Unfortunately I misjudged my ability and couldn't stop crying in front of guest services and then the manager. Fortunately it resulted in me not only getting checked into my room but also getting two double beds instead of the one king size we thought we'd be stuck with. Score!

That was the only negative of my trip and again it might not have been so bad if I had the appropriate amount of sleep to deal with it in a calm manner. From that point on my weekend was fabulous. I'm not sure how to quantify it with words but I'll try...

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  I met many other fabulous & fearless woman,


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  Everything was well organized, fun/exciting, geared for women, and inspiring,


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  Each woman who spoke on stage had a diva presence in a positive way. They knew they were fabulous, they love what they do for a living, they get pampered with all kinds of prizes and recognition, they are every day people and they each had a personal, emotionally driven story about why the material awards are only the icing on the cake.


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  I felt like I belonged to a company that truly wanted my success, for me to succeed to the best of my ability and wanted to give me the tools to get there,


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  I felt like BeautiControl was really excited to have me on board (along with the other 3000+ people in attendance),


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  I was really excited about our new product launches and was confident that the products we market are truly the best available. Our VP of Research & Development has sound great energy and spirit that you can't help but adore him!


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  I believe/believed that every man and woman could benefit from my products,


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  I felt that I could have any amount success I wanted: if I could dream it I could have it,


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  I felt like I didn't want to miss a second of anything - much different from other conferences I have been too!


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  I felt that I truly belonged in that place at that time and that it was my destiny to walk this path.

Why so sure of this last point? Let me tell you a quick story about one of my "signs". As I went to bed our first night in the hotel I decided to set my cell phone as a back up alarm as I wasn't all that used to getting up before noon lately. I scrolled through the default ringers and decided that I'd like to wake up to "the saints come marching in" ringtone. It had no particular meaning to me, it just sounded the least intrusive for the next morning but with enough zing to wake me up. So it worked and off we went to our Friday of fun. At the end of the Friday festivities, Tim (VP of Special Events and Promotions) announces that the Spring Recruiting trip will be to New Orleans. Okay, I say to myself, I wouldn't mind a free trip there. And at this point I was fully "sold" on pursuing BeautiControl as a full time career. But just in case I wasn't listening, a band emerged from behind Tim, playing trombones, trumpets, etc and what song are they belting out? Yep, The Saints Come Marching In. As I have started paying attention to the signs in my life recently I was like OMIGOSH! The universe was saying 'here's your wake up call Crystal!" Very cool.

I officially decided at that moment that I couldn't go back to Red Deer and take this boring ol' chiropractor job. I couldn't settle for another job when what I really want is a career. I don't need a boss determining what I am worth and my level of success. I don't need yet another authority figure telling me why I shouldn't worry my pretty little head about the business details as I couldn't possibly understand why things are done the way they are. I went to school for Business Marketing and what better way to apply that then to market my own personal business/services? I am happy to report that I had great encouragement from people around me: Tyler (my husband), my Mom, my Director Diane (she has been a great & genuine source of inspiration for me) and even my old co-worker/supervisor Cynthia.

Why not pursue my dreams right now? What better time to take a risk? I am young, intelligent, ambitious and don't have a lot of things holding me down. I have spent the last few years happy about what I do have in my life (great husband, adorable pets, quality friends, higher education, a lovely home) but have been jealous of my perception of other's freedom. Freedom to travel, to do something crazy like go back packing in the Amazon or uproot their lives and move to Fuiji. Freedom to take advantage of any opportunity that comes their way. I got a taste of this when I went to New York, one of my top three places to see. I thought, what the hell am I doing? I should just come live in NY for 6 months! Why not? I got a taste of how successful I could be with direct sales by doing Home & Gift Collection. The last tally had me at #3 in sales for New Consultants (all across Canada).

So here I am, taking the bull by the horns. Getting laid off from AFSC is a blessing. I am going to prove that, so that everyone who is unhappily in a job, there or elsewhere, can see that we don't have to be stuck in them. We can pursue our dreams AND make a living. I have about 2 years until my ten year class reunion and I am determined to not only be a Director of BeautiControl by then but to have earned my own Mustang*. That way I can arrive with my friends for life in style :-D My personal challenge to you is: join me. Success is so much more fun when you can share it with friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*By the way, you know those cosmetic companies that give away cars? Ask them if they really own them...by definition: could they sell them for cash? if they quit can they keep them? if they don't meet their targets do they get to keep them? The answers may surprise you! Let me tell you, without hesitation, with BeautiControl the car is yours to do with it what you may...and they don't stop at Mustangs, the next car is a Lexus and after that a Benz!

OH! One final comment: Tyler quit his local job on Friday and started working at a job in Edmonton as of Wednesday. I am sad that he won't be home every night but I am looking forward to him actually enjoying his job again. The great thing about pursing BeautiControl is that I now can have the flexiblity to drive to Edmonton to spend time with Tyler or even not working Fridays so I can have the whole day with him. Plus now he is making more money again and we get benefits again (hello dental & prescrition woot!), which is ever so important if we want to have babies. My business is something I can take with me where ever his work ends up being and I look forward to a day when I can be the major breadwinner and he can pursue a job that gets him excited to get up every morning.

How Life Changes...Part I

Well for those of you who don't know, I ended up getting laid off from my "traditional" day job working for the government, at Christmas. While getting laid off bruised my ego, I looked on the brightside of things which was that I didn't LOVE my job and I was just comfortable there. My analogy of it is, it's like when you have a boyfriend that you're just not that into, who you have considered breaking up with, but he dumps you first. It doesn't mean you want to date him again, it just bothers you that he ditched you first.

So, after many discussions with family & friends, I decided that I should take a much needed "break" from the workforce. I started my first official job at KFC when I was 15, I had been babysitting since I was 12 and hadn't had a break from school, work or both since! However very shortly after making this decision I decided to apply for a job with the City of Red Deer. The most attractive thing about this position was honestly the pay! I got myself an interview and was told I did a great job but they had an internal candidate with equal experience & education but she had the edge of being an internal candidate. Again I was okay with this decision as I would've just went straight from one blase job to the next.

I applied for several jobs that interest me and attempted to cross items off my "to do" list that I had been neglecting. Before I knew it the end of February was arriving, I didn't feel rested nor relaxed or even like I had accomplished anything. I had decided to embrace the business opportunity that BeautiControl had to offer and to do that 100% I wanted to attend their Leadership Conference in Dallas, Texas. About a week before I was scheduled to go I got a phone call from a chiropractor that had advertised a couple positions I had applied for about a month prior. He asked me to come in for an interview as the girl he had hired he "wasn't too sure was working out." At the interview there was only myself and one other girl. Chatting with her I discovered she was still in college. The interview was a group based one. First we were told about the position, then we were asked about 10 questions which we had to have written responses to, then we had a "test" that involved identifying transposed numbers, alphabetizing, and taking a personality test. We finished with a 30 second spiel in private on why we are the better candidate.

Most people know me well enough to know that at the mere mention of test & an indication that it was a "race" my competetive nature gets my adrenaline pumping and mixed with the iced caramel mochiatto i had, I got very very shaky. This served me well for the test (yep I got it done first & got a perfect score) but wasn't so great for the one-on-one part. I left thinking I had done my best but that I probably hadn't left the best impression. Needless to say I was quite surprised when the chiro doctor called me back to tell me I was his top choice and to schedule a time when I got back to meet and further discuss details...

More to come, stay tuned!