My Birth Story
I fully intended to write this up sooner so that I would have a better memory of the types of pain I was feeling and the details in between. Unfortunately having a baby is really time & energy consuming and I didn’t get to this until now so my memories have faded significantly (there is definitely a conspiracy, maybe in our water supply, that causes you to forget the pain!).
Thursday, September 17th
I really wanted to go into labor this upcoming weekend as my favorite doctor in the group, Dr.Phillpot, was going to be on-call. I also really wanted to have baby before my birthday and I wanted Tyler to be home for the birth. The weekend was just ideal for multiple reasons!
I went for an acupuncture session to help induce labor on Thursday. I had also started taking these homeopathic pills that my chiropractor suggested, as well as using a “labor inducing” lotion on my belly ever few hours in addition to the Red Raspberry Leaf tea I had been drinking and the Evening Primrose Oil pills I’d been inserting.
Friday, September 18th
The female doc doing my prenatal appointment that day asked if I wanted my “membranes stripped” and I gave a hearty yes. It was an uncomfortable few minutes, but the process can help kick start things if they are ready to go.
Saturday, September 19th
@ 8:00am
I woke up feeling just kind of off and achy. I decided to have a hot bath & see if that made me feel better. It kind of helped but didn’t do a lot.
@ 9:00am
Tried to sleep on all fours, noticed crampy feeling that was fairly consistent every five minutes or more.
@ 10:00am
Told Tyler that I thought the crampiness could be contractions. He didn’t really believe me. From our orientation: the hospital says that you should come in when they are 3-5 minutes and the intensity is strong enough that you can’t talk through them or walk through them. They are uncomfortable but not that intense yet.
From this point I basically ate, showered & went about my day just getting the pains really inconsistently. Finally got Tyler to start writing down the times that I got the pains. Oh, I was also having bloody discharge (aka mucus plug).
@ 10:00pm
I called my Mom & Dad to warn them that I was having some pains that I thought were contractions. I informed them that I had no idea how long it would take to get consistent as I’d been having them since the morning. My Mom was at her friend Cathie’s house playing cards.
@ 11:00pm
Finally started being consistent. Had started with every 7 minutes, then went to every 6 minutes then every 5 minutes. At this point I started to get my stuff ready & by the door. Suddenly they jumped to every 3 minutes so I was ready to go to the hospital. Tyler thought it was too soon to go, to which I responded “Would you prefer that I wait until I’m crowning?” I texted my Mom that I was going to the hospital and Tyler ran around the house looking for his swim trunks.
Sunday, September 20th
@ 12:00am
Arrived at hospital emergency, and told the security guard that I was pretty sure I was in labor. I was looking forward to getting pushed in a wheel chair but we had already started walking when he suggested it and I felt silly saying yes. He seemed to know a short cut to the Maternity Ward so he got us there faster than we would have on our own.
I was taken to the assessment room which was thankfully (though surprisingly) empty. My water hadn’t broke but a nurse confirmed that I was having contractions. She also made me do baby movement counts as I hadn’t really been paying attention. She checked my dilation and I was only 2 cm (at my doctor’s appointment the previous day I was 1 cm so that wasn’t much of a change). The good news is that baby’s head was down. Red Deer hospital won’t admit you until you are 4 cm dilated so she said we could either go home and come back later or hang around the hospital, use their tub and walk around trying to get contractions to start. I didn’t want to go home as I kind of felt like that was quitting so I opted to stay and use the tub.
The tub was nice for the pain, as I was starting to get it a lot more, but I could tell that it was slowing things down. If I reclined in the tub things didn’t really happen, but if I sat up then I got instant contractions. Since that hurt, I was reclining (not really smart though).
@ 3:00am
Nurse offered to check my dilation if I wanted so I got out of the tub. There wasn’t much of a change but I was in a lot of pain so she got Dr. Phillpot to approve a morphine shot with gravol (apparently morphine can cause nausea). Starting to get really tired at this point. I felt like I maybe had to go to the bathroom so the nurse suggested I try as if I did have a bowel movement it would possibly help things progress.
@ 4:30am
As I alternated between trying to go to the bathroom and walking around the assessment room (which was thankfully still completely empty) I kept falling asleep. Yep, falling asleep standing up & on the toilet LOL I told Tyler to get some sleep on the bed as he was super tired and he didn’t really need to be up. I suggested to the nurse that maybe we should go home now and try to get some sleep and at this point she really didn’t think we should go home. She checked me & I was a whole ½ cm more dilated (yes that’s some sarcasm) so she asked us to walk around the hospital, which we did. I found some stairs and did them too as they are suppose to help more. We were both SO tired at this point though.
@ 6:30am
She checked me again and I was finally in the 3-4 cm range that they would admit me & considered active labor. So when the nurses say how long you were in labor for, it was counted from this point. The nurses called my Doctor to come in to verify things & I happened to know that Dr. Phillpot was on-call that weekend so I was really happy about that. I was part of a prenatal clinic so I could have gotten any of the seven doctors in it, but fortunately the timing worked out that I got Dr. Phillpot! I also had some fluid on my underwear that tested positive for amniotic fluid so my water was leaking, but hadn’t “broke” per say as the nurse could still feel membrane when she checked me.
@ 7:30am
Dr. Phillpot arrived and checked me out. I asked for an epidural since the pain was pretty sucky at this point (and I am not all about pain). I should mention that I totally forgot to use any of my coping mechanisms such as meditation or some of the pressure points I was given to use. I had packed tennis balls even to try and didn’t use any of those. All I did when I got a contraction was hold Tyler’s hand on the thumb pad part and squeeze it and breath. Probably not the most effective means of dealing!
I got set up with an IV (which was very uncomfortable) and rigged to all the monitors. I totally felt like a science experiment.
@ 8:00am
The man for the epidural arrived. I had heard varying descriptions of how they make you get set up (lying down & grabbing your ankles, etc) but he just had me sit on the bed and lean over a bedside table. My nurse at this point, Chantal (who looked liked and acted like our friend Kyla) held my hand during the procedure. The key point with an epidural is that you need to move a little as possible as they are putting a needle in near your spine. I have a pretty big needle phobia so I made sure not to look at any of his equipment and was a little worried about how much it was going to hurt.
I’m not sure what the problem was, but the anesthetist had to make 5 attempts (that’s freezing and then epidural five times) before he was “successful”. In that time I had three contractions which were SO scary. I knew how much they hurt and could feel them coming on but knew I had to remain as still as possible. When the epidural finally starting working it was great, they do cold tests to see where you are feeling things and I was pain numb from my baby belly down to my toes.
I sent Tyler home at this point to get something to eat for himself & put the dogs out. I was suppose to rest at this point but my stupid socialization kicked in and I made small talk with the nurse. I learned that their c-section rate at the Red Deer Hospital is 42%, which is actually really high. So that was interesting. The nurse also reminded Tyler & I both of our friend Kyla. I also was starting to get hungry and the nurse said she might be able to get me some toast but later when another nurse took over for her break, I was told I would NOT be getting toast as there is a chance you’ll throw it up.
@ 9:30am
Dr. Phillpot came in and checked my progress. She put me at 5-6 cm dilated.
@ 11:30am
Started to feel my contractions again. It was kind of slow at first, but they began to get very intense. The nurses were concerned that the epidural had already stopped working so they called the anesthetist. He came to my room eventually & asked me “what kind of pain” I was having. I had no idea, just knew it hurt. He asked if it felt the same as before, to which I replied that I didn’t think so. So he told me that the epidural didn’t work for “pressure” and that he wasn’t going to do a second epidural dose at that point. I believe they also checked my dilation at this point & I’m pretty sure I was about 8cm. The nurses brought me laughing gas at some point, I think it was around now or maybe after lunch. I don’t feel like it helped at all. Oh, I also really felt my catheter the whole time. It constantly felt like I needed to pee and it drove me insane. I’m wondering if it’s not possible that the catheter was put in wrong, and that the extra pain “drained” my epidural so to speak, sooner?
@ 2:30pm
I was in so much pain at this point that the head nurse came in, assessed my situation and called the anesthetist back. He told her he was busy, so she called Dr. Phillpot who called the anesthetist directly. He arrived promptly upstairs. He still seemed skeptical at my pain (because my withering & tears weren’t very convincing apparently).
@ 2:45pm
The anesthetist finally gave me a second dose of the epidural. It starts to kick in, but isn’t as effective as the first dose had been initially. The nurse did the cold test again and I didn’t feel it on most of my belly but still felt it on my legs. I didn’t feel “frozen” like I had the first time below the belly either. However, it did help a bit with the pain for a little while. Probably up to an hour? I was still feeling this strong pressure against
@ 4:00pm
This is approximately when my mom showed up. Originally I didn’t plan to have my mom in the delivery room. However, when she arrived I was in a LOT of pain and she just came over to my bed and grabbed my right hand (Tyler had been holding my left hand pretty much since I started feeling the contractions again). I didn’t hate it so I didn’t send her away.
I’m not sure what time it was but I really felt the need to start pushing. The nurses really wanted me to wait as Dr. Phillpot wasn’t there, and not being able to push when you want to it excruciatingly hard to do! When the doctor arrived and checked me she put me at 9 cm. Though I was “lopsided” so to speak so the centimeter was all on one side. She told me I could push, but that she was going to do ‘something’ (memory is starting to get fuzzy here) to help even out my cervix. She could also still feel membrane, so my water still hadn’t broken, so she had to break that. I didn’t feel that part at all as far as I can remember.
Then she told me I could push. Once she told me I could push, I really didn’t feel like I had to push anymore LOL I was having a very hard time staying focuses on my breathing. Every time I had a contraction, I totally lost it mentally and I was so tired that I felt like I was passed out in between contractions. My mom, Tyler & Dr. Phillpot had to remind me at each contraction to breathe deeply and then to push. I really felt at the time like I was having an out of body experience (though it may be more accurate to call it an out of mind experience). The doctor even threatened me with forceps if I didn’t properly, which I honestly mulled over in my head to decide if that was worse, then deciding it was, kept pushing.
Pushing was really hard! When I tried to pre-visualize it, I thought it would be kind of like having a bowel movement. And it kind of was, but it was just different in a whole new way. I would push & push as much as I could, & then the doctor would tell me to do one more. It was most definitely the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Then, all of a sudden I felt pain beyond anything and I didn’t want to do any of it any more. From my perspective, I am sure I screamed at the top of my lungs and said I wasn’t going to do it. My doctor was SO calm and told me to keep pushing and somehow I did and that’s when he was born. Afterwards, she told me that point which I freaked out, was when I most likely had torn as I did rip internally.
@ 5:36pm
Our baby boy was born! He weighed 6lbs 11oz and they didn’t measure his length until later that night when they gave him a bath.
Despite my earlier convictions, I had decided that I wanted baby placed on me, skin to skin, as soon as he was born & before they washed him. I figured if in the moment, I changed my mind, I could let them know. So the staff listened and put him on me. I kind of looked at him and tried to see if I’d feel some recognition to him, but honestly I didn’t. He wasn’t on me for long though as the staff wanted to hear him cry more and took him to look over.
As Tyler & my Mom got to enjoy baby and watch his few moments, I had to deliver the placenta (which didn’t take long but still sucked) and then get stitched up – which seemed to take FOREVER. I was sooo tired and hungry as I hadn’t slept since 8am Saturday & hadn’t eaten since 11:30pm Saturday. It didn’t even really sink in that I had had our baby. Then the doctor tells me that she has to put something in my bum as I am still bleeding a lot. My first thought was that it was a shot, so I asked if they could put it in my right cheek as the morphine shot had gone in my left and it was still sore so I wanted a balance. She’s like “no, it’s going in your bum.” I was like “my bum…hole?” She’s laughs and says yes. I was like “a needle?!” She says “no, pills”. And then they proceed to put FIVE pills up my butt. I told Dr. Phillpot that I felt that was strictly an out hole and that really the torture never ends when you’re giving birth. And I think I even announced that I was not having any more kids, myself. Maybe adoption or something.
I was bleeding a lot still and they were worried that I might need to go in for some sort of stop bleeding surgery thing so they would not let me eat the food tray that was wheeled into my room.
Mary & Robert were there so they came into my room to meet baby. It was kind of creepy cuz there were bloodstains still on the floor, my bloodstains, and the nurses just milled around and company came in. So bizarre. Despite my best efforts I still looked terrible for our first pictures. Probably because of the IV, I was especially swollen looking and my neck looks like a tree truck. My hair was horrible as I had done the bath thing at the hospital as well as lots of cold cloths on the forehead which caused frizziness. In addition to that, the hospital garb I was wearing was so NOT my colors and helped me look washed out. Add to that, that I had just been in labor for “10 hours” according to the hospital (my math says a lot longer than that) and been pushing for probably an hour or so and yeah, I hate how I look in our first pics. Pretty big disappointment for me there. In fact, there is only one picture so far that I feel I do look good in, & it’s not the best picture of Dexter.
We hadn’t decided on names beforehand, just had a list of about a dozen names we liked and we were hoping something would jump out at us. Dexter had been in the forefront of our minds for many months, but towards the end of my pregnancy I decided that baby didn’t feel like a Dexter (or Spencer one of our other top choices) and that maybe I really liked Zac. But once he was born I didn’t think he felt like a Zac and decided he could be a Dexter or Spencer. No name in particular jumped out at me or Tyler when we looked at him so we just kind of had to choose. Since we both felt Dexter was a little more original, we went with that for his first name so that the nurse could write something on his card that was going on his hospital bassinet. Then we took our time picking the middle name. Again we just had a group of names we liked and had to pick one. Nothing jumped out, though Tyler had mentioned Reid when our families were around and it had a positive reaction. Tyler also liked Reese, but I didn’t love it so opted for Reid. We didn’t decide until I was filling out the paperwork we needed to do before we left the hospital the next day.
My mom & Dr. Phillpot say that I was very nice through the whole process though I didn’t feel like I had been. I swear I screamed & they said I didn’t. I asked Tyler if I pooped at all when I was pushing (as I really felt like I could have) and he said no. And Tyler doesn’t really lie to me.
Additional Comments:
-The nurses got me to try breastfeeding right as soon as we could (post stitches etc) and it was more awkward to do then I thought (in terms of maneuvering) but he latched very well all on his own! I still struggled over the next few days with knowing if I had enough nipple in his mouth, but once my milk came in everything went really well. Much better than I anticipated! So I am still breastfeeding and will continue to do it as long as it goes well, feels good for both of us, etc. I’m not sure if my goal is 3 months or 6 months but I don’t think I’d go too long past 6 months. I am not opposed to giving him a bottle of formula here & there though when I need a major nap, feel milk drained or am away from the house and Tyler needs to feed him. So far I don’t have a pump (and the nurses say to wait 4-6 weeks for some reason) so that’s how we’re supplementing for now.
-When the nurses come to check on you & see if your uterus is contracting properly, it feels like bloody torture. And then when you go to the bathroom, it is mighty scary. My doctor extra scared me by telling me that the area between my vagina & anus was particularly small and to be careful when I had a bowel movement as that’s where the stitches were. Like going to the bathroom wasn’t freaky enough, now I have to worry about pulling stitches when I poop??? Well when I finally had my first bowel movement, post baby, I announced to my mom & Tyler like a proud toddler that “I had just pooped & it didn’t hurt” LOL Oh how my life has changed.
-I bled quite a lot post birth; in fact I wore what I called my “diaper” for many days. It consisted of 3 hospital pads, that are about as thick as my mattress, stuck onto a blanket pad sort’ve thing. So I was very surprised by how quickly it started to lessen. I had called the health link regarding a blood clot I passed and she gave me a great tip that I should empty my bladder before breastfeeding which will help the uterus contract more efficiently and help stop my bleeding sooner. Awesome, why didn’t the nurses tell me that?? I’m still bleeding a bit, but I’m down to about 1 normal pad a day and I don’t see blood every time I pee.
-The first week I had a lot of company and in retrospect that was a bad idea. I suddenly felt burnt out that first Friday, and when Tyler tried to go to work Sunday night I totally broke down. I couldn’t stop crying and I felt very, very depressed so I called him while he was still driving there. I told him that I really needed him to come home because I didn’t think I could even make it to the next day on my own. Not necessarily physically, but mentally. He really didn’t want to quit his job in Fort Sask as the money potential is high, but I convinced him that both Dexter & I needed him home and that I was willing to make some sacrifices to have our family together. For the rest of our lives we are going to have to choose between making more money or being together and I feel like being together is more important. Now that he has been home full time for the last few weeks (as he still has to find a local job) I am SO thankful he has been here. I basically just have to concentrate on feeding Dexter, getting rest when I can and eating myself while Tyler has done virtually everything else: dishes, laundry, cooking often, putting our dogs out…It wasn’t until last Friday (Oct 2) that I finally started to feel myself emotionally and I think that would have taken a much longer time to happen if Tyler wasn’t here helping and if hadn’t basically cocooned ourselves into the house for the last two weeks. But, I’m just glad to be where we are at now.
-Dexter really has been a good baby as he just eats, sleeps and makes dirty diapers. He’s awake a bit here and there and is very alert and adorable. He hasn’t been TOO fussy yet, though the last two days he has been more than usual. He has kept us very busy with leaky diapers though!
-We got Dexter circumcised on Wednesday, September 30th. Although we both had decided to get it done, once I had an actual baby to do it to, it was a little harder. Thankfully the procedure went without a hitch and he didn’t seem too traumatized by it. He cried a bit for his first diaper change but didn’t really for any since then. Now, it is basically scar-free and I think it looks much better than it did pre-circumcision.
-Dexter lost weight after birth so he was 6lbs 4oz when the public health nurse came for her visit on September 23rd (my birthday!), which is normal...up to 10% of their weight. At his first doctor’s appointment on Wednesday, October 7th he is up to 7lbs 5.5oz so he’s growing well. And yes I’ve noticed that every Wednesday seems to be something medical for him…and coincidently a pretty traumatic day for him too.
There is so much more to say but it’s a ridiculous hour now and my pumpkin squares are ready for tomorrow so I’d better get to bed. We are going to Mary’s for Thanksgiving and it’ll be our first overnight visit somewhere else. I am very nervous about it (especially as I haven’t bothered to master the art of hiding my boobs while feeding as I’m usually at home)…hope it goes well!
