My Brother-In-Law

Although I am trying to be a positive person I have to get this off my chest...

So it's no secret that I'm not my brother-in-law's biggest fan. I have my reasons and I have many. Christmas 2005 I had the pleasure of meeting Kim, his first serious girlfriend in the five years I'd known Tyler, and finding out that she was pregnant.

Now, while I am the first one to say I don't think people should rush into marriage due to pregnancy, I do NOT advocate getting pregnant with someone you have only known about 6 weeks. Generally speaking I think that couples are in a "honeymoon" period during the first four months of a relationship and you hardly find anything wrong with each other, but down the line you tend to see those flaws. So when I found out that Kim & Tyrone were pregnant I was a) relieved; I thought it might get rid of some of the baby pressure we were getting from Tyler's parents & b) horrified; that two people who barely know each other are going to be raising a baby (especially Tyrone).

I hoped that my opinions of Tyrone were just that: opinions not truths. However with the birth of Kira his selfishness & ignorance did not go away (exhibit 1 is the baby shaking incident at new years). Throughout the last six months or so Tyrone has really been showing his true colors to Kim and she has been enabling him for quite some time.

1. Kim slept in a seperate room with Kira so that Tyrone wouldn't have to wake up in the middle of the night.

2. Kim did all the work regarding Kira: cleaned, fed, changed diapers so that when Tyrone got home from work he had a clean & happy baby to "take care of".

3. Before Kira was born Tyrone started talking about how Kim "better have the house clean and dinner ready" by the time he got home from work. Completely oblivious to the fact that babies (especially new borns) are a full time job, that Kim wasn't his slave and that Tyrone shouldn't be the center of the world anymore.

4. After Kira was born I found out that Tyrone was saying things to Kim that most would consider verbal abuse. Calling her down, saying she's stupid, lazy, etc.

5. Tyrone told Kim, infront of his family, that he wasn't going to bother proposing until she was "perfect" (defined as lost weight, listens to him, doesn't talk back).

6. I found out that Tyrone basically never did anything with Kira unless Kim nagged him (including but not limited to cuddling, bathing, changing diapers, feedings, etc).

So about 2 months before Kira's first birthday Tyrone tells Kim that he's just not that much in love with her anymore and that he doesn't want to live with Kim & Kira anymore. His other reasons include:

-they are interferring with him playing poker

-they don't create a positive environment for him and so he's not happy & he has to be positive & happy so that he can become a millionaire (a la the Secret).

So correct me if I'm wrong, but the point of the Secret is to create a positive environment & mentality for yourself and throwing away your girlfriend & baby isn't all that positive in my books.

So now he is whining and snivelling about how much child support he might have to pay and he is going through their possessions and telling her what she is ALLOWED to take from the house.

His behavior and selfishness disgust me. The only things going for him as far as I was concerned was that he had a family that consisted of a girlfriend and a beautiful baby. Now he's throwing that away. Here's a picture of him: he lived in a basement suite, he works in a warehouse for minimal money (especially considering it's Calgary), he is ugly, overweight, lazy, ignorant, abusive, condescending, chauvanistic, argumentative, selfish...pretty much any negative word you can think of. He has no ambition, he is 29 years old, he got himself kicked out of college a few years back cuz he couldn't be bothered to attend school. Everything that is wrong with his life is "someone else's fault" according to him. He wants everything he wants handed to him and doesn't want to work for anything. And now a baby is involved.