Naming Dexter

As you all probably know, picking a name for our baby boy was one of the most difficult challenges of having a baby for me (2nd only to the actually delivering him part). If you haven't heard, we officially named him Dexter Reid Nelson. With the growing popularity of the TV show "Dexter", of which we are fans, people either assume that's where the name comes from or they feel the need to warn me that there is a show with that name. Most of the time, I'll say "His name is Dexter." and the person will go, "Oh cute. Um, did you know there is a show..." and trail off. LOL Anyway, I feel the need to tell the true story of how we came up with his name.


Tyler & I were looking for the holy grail of names, a name that isn't extremely common, but that isn't weird either. We were also desperately avoiding names that ended in "N" and names that started with "C, T & K". So one day while driving in the car together (I cannot remember where we were going, but I feel like we were heading North on Highway 2), we were listening to Tyler's Ipod when an Offspring song came on. The lead singer of the Offspring's name is Dexter, which Tyler thought of while listening to the song & said to me "How about Dexter?" I was pretty used to hating or disliking everything I heard so it gave me pause and I was like "I don't hate it!" Then I thought more about how it worked on two levels as I also liked the TV show and the Offspring. And it really fit the criteria we had set up for a name...so we decided to keep the name to ourselves and put it on our short list.

Then while watching a TV show called "Criminal Minds" I decided I liked the name Spencer Reid, which is one of the characters, I both liked the names individually & together. Tyler liked them also so they were both added to our short list, Spencer for a first name & Reid more likely for a middle name . Our plan was to brainstorm names we really liked and then wait til baby boy was born and see if one name suited him particularily.


Over time, Dexter was still towards the forefront for names but I began to really like 'Zac'. The problem with Zac though is that I felt it was pretty popular. Also, Tyler didn't like it. But with Spencer & Dexter being the two names vying for 1st, I wanted an option that didn't end in 'er'. Over the last few months I really felt like baby wasn't a Spencer or Dexter but a Zac. It probably didn't hurt that I had a crush on 'Zac Efron' after watching '17 Again'.

My mom was really grilling me for names one day on the phone, so I said, to give her an idea of the "kind of names" we liked, that Spencer was one (at this point, really thinking that we probably wouldn't go with Spencer). One of our things was that we didn't want anyone to know our name beforehand. The reasons behind this became clear when my mom told Vanessa about 'spencer' who then told Melody. Vanessa called me up to tell me she liked the name and the next time I saw Mel she warned me against using it cuz of her association with Spencer Pratt (a lame person famous for being famous & married to Heidi Montag). Thankfully by then, Spencer was mostly off the table as a choice as far as I was concerned. We liked it, but it wasn't a LOVE choice.

So I went into the hospital thinking Zac, possibly Zac Evan cuz then his initials would be ZEN. Some of the other names I liked (though not necessarily liked by Tyler) were Zen, Zander/Xander, Phoenix, Heath, Evander...that's all I can remember. I'm "releasing" the names now as I'm sure we'll change our minds about what we like by baby #2 IF there is a baby #2.

After the GRUELLING process of giving birth, we looked at baby boy and I was like okay, I don't think he's a Zac LOL But as for which name he looked or felt like from our list, I was at a loss. I though he could easily be any of these names we like...So now what do we do? I really wanted a name to announce his arrival so I was like well let's just go with Dexter as it was the strongest contender for the longest time and it was a name we both liked & agreed upon. I knew there would be people who didn't like it (as with any name), but honestly I didn't really care :-D I'm not sure what time it was when we decided on the first name, but it was a little while, like maybe an hour? We had the name by the time I had company in the room but was still in the delivery room. SIDENOTE: that was creepy by the way. There were bloodstains on the floor from me and I have company in the room? So my blood is just getting all up on their shoes? Just felt really personally violating or something.

As for his middle name, that took a while longer. Again, we weren't sure what to go with. Tyler mentioned out loud the name REID and it got a positive response from the room. We had to decide when I was filling out the paperwork to the leave the hospital, 24 hours later, and that's when we went with Reid. The spelling is my preference, Tyler would have went with REED, but I like the 'ei' better. Plus, in Grimshaw there is a family of Reid's and though I have no positive association with the name, that's just what seems "correct" for me.

After announcing Dexter Reid to the world, my brother insists that we got the name from the TV show, Dexter's Labortory. Which I don't think I had even thought of.

And my Grandma Johnson informed me that my FarmVille game was lacking as I didn't know that Dexter was a name for a breed of cattle! Apparently my experience at AFSC was lacking as well ha ha It does make Dexter's cowprint outfit more appropriate thought. All that considered, we are happy with Dexter's name and he seems to be growing into it.

Cosmic Coincidence?

My name, Crystal, which is slightly common in the early 80's was inspired by a character named Krystle from a popular show then. I can never remember if it is 'Dynasty' or 'Dallas' so late last night I was looking up the shows on www.imdb.com (a super great website that has tons of info for movies/tv shows). So as I looked up 'Dynasty' (which is where my name is from) I happened to notice a few lines down that there is a character on the same show named 'Dex Dexter'. How cool is that? Further investigation on the page showed characters also by the names of Charles & Dominique (which we spell Dominic) but sadly there were no Tyler's. If there were, that would be the coolest thing ever :-)

I've added pictures of the characters, Krystle Carrington & Dex Dexter. So eighties LOL

Co-Sleeping

It happened by accident. Originally we intended for Dexter to sleep in his bassinette (borrowed from Shelley & Scott) and then he could transition to his crib. Apparently Dexter had his own agenda & for whatever reason wouldn't stay sleeping in the bassinette. Shortly after laying him down, sometimes up to 10 minutes later, he'd wake up crying and I'd have to pick him up. So I'd bring him into bed to nurse him and sometimes I just fell asleep (I found out that there is a chemical released when you are nursing which helps babies sleep but can make mommies fall asleep too!).

During the day was a different story. I could feed him, he'd usually fall asleep, and then I'd transfer him to his swing to lull him into a deep sleep (as per one of my baby advice books). He'd usually sleep for 1 1/2 - 2 hour stretches during the day in the swing. And if I kept him in our bed during the night, he's sleep for 3 - 4 hour stretches, and stay satisfied in bed with me for like 10-12 hours. Since I was nursing it was SO much easier to roll over when he fussed, pop a boob in (for lack of better word usage) and then fall back asleep.

By doing this I was/am getting all the sleep I need during the night. I'm waking up feeling as refreshed as I ever did - as I'm so not a morning person. The one thing that bothered me about the whole situation is how much guilt I'd have telling other people. It's such a common question to be asked "does your baby sleep through the night?" and I never knew quite how to answer it. For one, he didn't sleep straight through, but really he'd just feed for a few minutes then fall asleep. It wasn't as though he was UP for any long period of time...so was that sleeping through the night? Plus I have gotten so automated at feeding him while co-sleeping that I am/was barely able to remember how many times or at what times he had awoken. So I'd kind of shrug & sheepishly say "well, we're co-sleeping...so he basically does". And then wait for them to judge me. Mostly people would just say "oh yeah that is so much nicer when you can do that" & "oh i totally did too" but occasionally I'd get a well meaning person telling me how I was creating such a bad habit and I'd really regret it.

What I'm really coming to realize as I grow as a Mom, is how true the following advice is:
"It's only a problem, if it's a problem." In other words, unless something is not working for you, it's not really a problem no matter which advice-giver of the moment thinks it is. And also that no matter how much you plan or predetermine how you are going to do things, sometimes your opinions change or your values change and you adapt your life as you go along.

In addition to getting better sleep for myself, I believe that Dexter has great sleep too. Some books even suggest that since their needs are met with such a quick response, that babies who co-sleep will grow up to feel very self-assured and confident in your support. Other benefits that I've found is that I feel very connected and have more bonding time with Dexter. And good or bad, he sleeps on my schedule pretty much going to bed when I do & waking up when I do. So if I need a little extra sleep in time (cuz I stayed up reading longer than I should have), he's pretty accommodating.

It's not 100% peachy though. For instance, it doesn't do much for my romantic life with Tyler and it kind of cuts in with Tyler & I time. I also think that since I get so much cuddling in with Dexter that I don't crave it as much from Tyler. It's pretty easy to do now with Tyler gone 4-5 nights a week, but once he's home every night, it won't be so much fun. I also have a lot more stiff muscles and achy bones as I can't move around much in bed once we're settled and I have to be aware of where Dex is sleeping. Plus I am really dreading the point at which we do transition to Dexter sleeping in his crib. As he nears his 5 month birthday, I shake my head as I had hoped to get him out of our bed before he was fully 3 months. But it's just so convenient and if I'm honest, I enjoy it. But a time will come, probably sooner than later, when he needs his independence & his own bed. Plus he has such a lovely room, it's a shame he's not using it :-)

Leduc Update

I started writing this on Monday...then Tuesday...and now here we are on Friday with my third attempt LOL Tyler, Dexter & I went to Leduc on Sunday and looked around. We had made appointments to look at two houses on the market and then we went to a couple showhomes for builders in the area.

We started with the showhomes, the first one being Jayman builders. With it being Superbowl Sunday it was very quiet so we had the saleswoman's full attention (good & bad). Price wise, are comfort level is to buy for $300,000 or less and we want to try to get at the least, a home that is equivilent to ours. Equivilent being 3 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms & 1500 square feet. If we build new, we'll have to have a two storey than so I also want a main floor laundry. Jayman's lowest plans were starting at $296,000 and that's with all the basics (carpet/lino). We also couldn't make any custom changes so basically we'd be stuck with whatever the spec floor plan was. Jayman does have a pretty good reputation and they boost lots of 'built green' features but they are at the top of our budget and give us the least choice.

The next place we went to was B&H Homes. Their showhome was a split level, which Tyler & I personally don't like much, but they had a beautiful kitchen and hardwood floors. We found out that their base price includes hardwood for the living spaces (carpet for bedrooms) which is a great bonus. I told the saleswoman what we were looking for & she passed me a floor plan for 1457 square feet in a two story. It had a main floor laundry, an open kitchen, dining room, living room space and the ensuite we were looking for and the base price was starting at $267,000. Then we asked if we can custom the house and she said yes. The base plan was very close to what we would want but there is also about $30,000 room for us to get some more of our upgrades we are looking for (dual vanities in the ensuite, full height cupboards in the kitchen, rough in for central vac, and maybe even partially finishing the basement). As an added bonus, the cupboards were maple which is an upgrade from the oak we currently have. So B&H was way ahead of the building race.

We went to another show home & they had a minimum 1900 square feet for their homes with attached garages...starting at $380,000. Way out of our comfort zone for this point in our lives.

Then we met Cynthia, a friend of my family and a realtor. She took us to the two houses we wanted to look at. The first was okay, but was smaller than ours and didn't have as nice of finishes (a.k.a. was built cheaper). And it didn't have the nice open floor plan on the main floor that we like. The second house was again smaller, didn't have an ensuite upstairs, and had carpet through the entire upstairs. This house move we have decided that we are going to have all laminate/hardwood/lino but absolutely no carpet as it just doesn't keep with our pets. Both houses were about $290 or 299,900 so again very close to the top of our budget but needing upgrades.

So the verdict is that we like Leduc. It seemed to have the amenities we're looking for (Walmart Super Center, Safeway, some restaurants, an indoor & outdoor pool, recently renovated rec center), a smaller size community but with Edmonton a reasonable distance away if we really wanted to eat at the Olive Garden or hit a nicer movie theatre.

We are very much leaning towards building again as we have a better chance of getting what we want for our money. However, Cynthia suggested that B&H Homes might not have the best reputation so we still have some researching to do. It's also possible that we may not be able to start the building process until we sell this house money wise so that delays what we can do. Building will take about 6-8 months so we would have to rent somewhere or couch surf in the interim which we are okay with. If we do have to wait until we sell, then we might just keep looking at houses on the market in case something comes up that we would be happy with and make a decision when we need to. If we can get started building, then we might just go ahead with that plan.

As for selling, well so far we haven't had any viewers. Red Deer's market is a little bit slow at the moment, but I'm confident that it'll just take someone coming to see our house for them to like it! I'm not sure if the pictures aren't doing it justice or what's going on...maybe we just need to positive think!

If you haven't looked yet, check out our listing at www.mls.ca and our number is CA299208!