Co-Sleeping

It happened by accident. Originally we intended for Dexter to sleep in his bassinette (borrowed from Shelley & Scott) and then he could transition to his crib. Apparently Dexter had his own agenda & for whatever reason wouldn't stay sleeping in the bassinette. Shortly after laying him down, sometimes up to 10 minutes later, he'd wake up crying and I'd have to pick him up. So I'd bring him into bed to nurse him and sometimes I just fell asleep (I found out that there is a chemical released when you are nursing which helps babies sleep but can make mommies fall asleep too!).

During the day was a different story. I could feed him, he'd usually fall asleep, and then I'd transfer him to his swing to lull him into a deep sleep (as per one of my baby advice books). He'd usually sleep for 1 1/2 - 2 hour stretches during the day in the swing. And if I kept him in our bed during the night, he's sleep for 3 - 4 hour stretches, and stay satisfied in bed with me for like 10-12 hours. Since I was nursing it was SO much easier to roll over when he fussed, pop a boob in (for lack of better word usage) and then fall back asleep.

By doing this I was/am getting all the sleep I need during the night. I'm waking up feeling as refreshed as I ever did - as I'm so not a morning person. The one thing that bothered me about the whole situation is how much guilt I'd have telling other people. It's such a common question to be asked "does your baby sleep through the night?" and I never knew quite how to answer it. For one, he didn't sleep straight through, but really he'd just feed for a few minutes then fall asleep. It wasn't as though he was UP for any long period of time...so was that sleeping through the night? Plus I have gotten so automated at feeding him while co-sleeping that I am/was barely able to remember how many times or at what times he had awoken. So I'd kind of shrug & sheepishly say "well, we're co-sleeping...so he basically does". And then wait for them to judge me. Mostly people would just say "oh yeah that is so much nicer when you can do that" & "oh i totally did too" but occasionally I'd get a well meaning person telling me how I was creating such a bad habit and I'd really regret it.

What I'm really coming to realize as I grow as a Mom, is how true the following advice is:
"It's only a problem, if it's a problem." In other words, unless something is not working for you, it's not really a problem no matter which advice-giver of the moment thinks it is. And also that no matter how much you plan or predetermine how you are going to do things, sometimes your opinions change or your values change and you adapt your life as you go along.

In addition to getting better sleep for myself, I believe that Dexter has great sleep too. Some books even suggest that since their needs are met with such a quick response, that babies who co-sleep will grow up to feel very self-assured and confident in your support. Other benefits that I've found is that I feel very connected and have more bonding time with Dexter. And good or bad, he sleeps on my schedule pretty much going to bed when I do & waking up when I do. So if I need a little extra sleep in time (cuz I stayed up reading longer than I should have), he's pretty accommodating.

It's not 100% peachy though. For instance, it doesn't do much for my romantic life with Tyler and it kind of cuts in with Tyler & I time. I also think that since I get so much cuddling in with Dexter that I don't crave it as much from Tyler. It's pretty easy to do now with Tyler gone 4-5 nights a week, but once he's home every night, it won't be so much fun. I also have a lot more stiff muscles and achy bones as I can't move around much in bed once we're settled and I have to be aware of where Dex is sleeping. Plus I am really dreading the point at which we do transition to Dexter sleeping in his crib. As he nears his 5 month birthday, I shake my head as I had hoped to get him out of our bed before he was fully 3 months. But it's just so convenient and if I'm honest, I enjoy it. But a time will come, probably sooner than later, when he needs his independence & his own bed. Plus he has such a lovely room, it's a shame he's not using it :-)