So I have this stupid, annoying habit of being tired but not wanting to go to bed. Sometimes I just stay up ridiculously late (like 4, 5, 6am) and sometimes I just end up staying up the whole night and starting another day. It sucks. Well in some ways it sucks but as Dr Phil says I must be getting some sort of "payoff" to continue the behavior.
The ways that is sucks is that for one I am not really that product in my time awake. I'll maybe get some shows watched, or putz around on the internet, or read but nothing that is really income generating or happiness generating for myself. Also because then I am on the opposite schedule of the rest of humanity and I don't get personal errands accomplished and visiting times in with friends, etc.
The ways that I enjoy it is, in some sick sense, I get a sense of accomplishment by "beating the clock" so to speak and staying up all night. I feel like I am in on some big secret that other people aren't by being awake. And in some ways I don't want to go to bed cuz I feel like I am "giving up on the day". It's bizarre. It's also a very vicious cycle because if I stay up late like say 7am, then sleep until like 3pm then I don't feel tired at a normal hour such as 10pm...see what I'm saying?
My psychiatrist gave me sleeping pills and told me to take one or two at like 9pm every night so that it makes me sleepy and forces me to bed. So the first night I took two and viola, up at 5:30am and off to the swimming pool. But I wasn't consistent with my sleeping pills and habits and I am back to square zero again only a couple weeks later. I've even set my cell phone to ring at certain times of the day so that I'll have a reminder to take them, but I just resist.
I've gotten countless lectures on how I am damaging my body with my erratic (sp?) sleep behavior but I don't think I've ever done well with critcism. My therapist (who was amazing) is on mat leave right now so I'm just now sure how to work through this hurdle.
I read a great book recently and the author's advice was "just do it"...I'm sure there is boundless wisdom in that.
With that being said it is now 8:10am, I haven't been to sleep yet, but my bed is calling. Adios.
Omg, I don't even know how you can do it!! Sounds like a severe case of insomnia...except that you don't sound like you WANT to sleep. I just wanted to say: be careful of those sleeping pills! I know several people who've gotten hooked on them, and then can't sleep unless they take them (which is obviously not good). What if you started a relaxing 'betime routine'? A bubble bath, followed by a cup of chamomile tea and a book, for example? Have you read up on the benefits of getting a good night's sleep every night? I'm not sure if you were looking for any advice or input, but I've never hesitated to give my friends "unsolicited advice" if I think it might help them out! hehe. :) Good luck! Sleep is IMPORTANT!
ReplyDelete- Diana :)
i don't honestly know how you do it! I am almost completly bagged by 10:00 if i'm up that late! in fact, the only time i stay up past that is if i'm at a party LOL and i go to those oh so often you can see.. -sarcasm-
ReplyDeletei wonder why you resist the sleeping pills? they seem to have had a positive impact (getting you up early and you went swiming, etc)
there are alot of options out there! you have to find one you are pleased with. when is that lady who's on mat leave back to work so you can see her again?
-Kyla
PS it was great talking to you! i'm glad i was persistant in trying to reach you hehe
Hmm, well to answer the question "how do i do it" really i think it's a matter of me sleeping all day LOL Though even when I am up early I still resist sleeping at night. I'm not sure if insomnia is defined as the lack of ability to fall asleep or the lack of desire to fall asleep??
ReplyDeleteUnsolicited advice is usually good & if it's not then I just don't use it ha ha
My lady just went on mat leave in like spring so it could be quite a while before she is back :-( She gave me some referrals but I don't know how I feel about seeing those people...plus it would cost moola.
This sleeping issue isn't really new as I remember being in high school, getting too involved in books, and then staying up all night to finish them. So it's been an ongoing problem.
Kyla - yes thank you for being persistant! I enjoyed our conversation and told Tyler we need to host a halloween party :-D
Guess what.. i share the same sickening habit.. altho much lessened now post job.. still sometimes i end up 'up' till 3/4 and make do with just 2/3 hrs of sleep which again sucks..
ReplyDeletewhat about u? its been 4 yrs now..
Suril
Well, im EXACTLY the same. Thats somewhat wierd. I say " Addicted to staying up" Its yet 6:45 AM and im still awake and havent slept. If i even attempted and succeed ill wake up for probably 5pm tonight. I can't win.
ReplyDeleteI think im addicted to being tired. When im tired my mood is generally more pessemistic. I think I could be subconsciously reaching for old thinking habits (depression) by forcing myself to be tired. I can never tell if I love or loathe being a night owl, I work second shift so part of it is getting the feeling of free time after work. Noone is awake, the house I share with other then belongs to me and my dog (who is nocturnal because I am). Noone even tries to understand how helpless self inflicted insomnia can make you feel, they treat it like some social quirk of yours or just plain look at you stupid. That makes it even easier to stay up, because you can avoid that unhelpful social interaction. I doubt any of this helped, just know your not alone and your reasons for changing yourself should be your own.
ReplyDeleteI have the EXACT same problem. I'm fascinated because tonight I googled this issue for the first time and have found a ton of people who have this exact same problem. But I could never find information on this before because I had never googled "addiction to staying up late." I would always look up "oversleeping," which I couldn't find much information on. Let me know if you want to discuss more! :)
ReplyDeleteI wrote a few nights ago a biig post.. but it seems like it didnt made it....
ReplyDelete