Adorable Chihuahua Imperial Shih Tzu X Female Puppy

Okay meet Ali. Super, super cute. I totally want her...she'll be about half the size of my current puppies when she gets all grown up. I wonder if I could convince Tyler to buy me her for Christmas LOL Only $600!

The Duggar's

If you're not sure why this is funny...look up the "Duggar Family".

Baby Madness - Part 3

Date Unknown

I can't remember exactly when it was, but I had called my friend & stylist Megan to book a hair appointment for my mother-in-law for Mary. Mary has had virtually the same hairstyle since Tyler could remember and I really wanted her to get away from her blonde from a box. When I booked the appointment Megan said something weird like "well can you just let her know that when I go on mat leave I won't be able to do her hair then?" And I was like "why are you pregnant?" She said yes, but that she didn't know how to tell me cuz she was worried about hurting me due to the miscarriage. Of course I was uber elated for Megan as she knew she wanted babies before I did. She just had to get her life in order before she could start trying.

January - August 2008

I continue to work on my businesses though I struggle a lot with the working part. I am very much a night owl and struggle with my lack of structure, sleeping either ridiculous hours or staying up all night. I don't know what I am busy with, but seem to be busy all the time. I'm not making anywhere near the progress or money I want to with my businesses & yet I haven't hung out with my friends who are at with their babies nor have I watched the pile of movies I was sure I'd have time to watch. I tend to pimp out my time to anyone who needs me...going to Medicine Hat to help my brother with his custody issues with his now ex-girlfriend. House sitting for my parents in February to keep my sister company...or however my family and friends need me.

I joined "Independent Achievers," a group for women in business who meet monthly for networking, etc. In the summer they didn't have any luncheons I could make it to but they had an annual golf tournament. I had/have zero interest in golf but wanted to attend the dinner to meet the group. I also helped wherever I could at the tournament, doing the putting contest. I really liked the ladies I met that night and looked forward to the next luncheon in September. I also won a tea goodie basket that was so exciting as I am a Tea fanatic.

I also went to Celebration, the 2nd convention BeautiControl has, in Dallas the long weekend in August. I again had a fantastic time, listening to great women talk and meeting many many fabulous women at different stages. I even had my picture taken with two of the executives of the company that I love. When I returned home I didn't have the same momentum I had when I came back from the first convention. Not sure what was missing but certainly something was.

My sister who was now 18 signed up for BeautiControl and I travelled to Grimshaw to help her with her first spa party. I also wanted to throw my parents a huge anniversary party for their 20th but it ends up being not that well planned as I had wanted. Guess I get to save it for their 25th! At the spa party for my sister, a good friend of my mom's Sandy Friesen, tells me that I'd make an excellent motivational speaker. Her compliment warmed me so much and planted a seed that I wanted to do so much more than what I can do with a party company. I still love my products for Home & Gift and BeautiControl but in a way it seems like level one and I want to be on level one hundred! My ambition and my action don't match at this point though.

Sept 23/08
I turned 26 and still haven't gotten pregnant.

September 2008

My aunt phones me to tell me her news. Her 16 year old son Bryson and his 18 year old girlfriend are expecting. She of course if a little freaked about it (she'll be freshly turned 40 when baby is born) but knows there are worse things than a baby. She's a pretty modern parent and is better at loving than punishing. She's also my favorite aunt and I got to spend a lot of time with her when I was younger. I could tell her anything I am sure. My brother also has lived with her pretty much since he turned 16. Anyway, she confesses that she was worried about telling me. I figured she meant because I tend to be more straitlaced and rule abiding than most of my family...however she meant because of how we are pregnant and now her 16 year old is. I'm not sure if it's sad or ironic or what but that hadn't really occured to me.

I had been so worried about being too focused on getting pregnant that I had completely forgotten to even really be trying. Tyler & I haven't really been doing anything that helps us get pregnant (like tracking cycles, etc) and sometimes when he's home on the weekends we don't always get around to doing it...ya know? Though the moment he leaves I'm like "ugh, why didn't I tap that" LOL And yet I continue to be surprised that I'm not pregnant yet. I truly am a complex beast.

I attended two baby showers in one weekend. One for my friend Megan & one for my high school friend Brandy. When I went shopping for the two of them I managed to bump into a girl that used to be a friend in high school is was also pregnant.

October 2008

I find out that my brother in law & his baby mama are pregnant. I've blogged about it but basically I was quite upset. The night Tyler told me I started bawling. It just felt like a huge, huge...something. I don't know what the word is. Whatever I was feeling I didn't want to feel it anymore. So I did something I'm not too proud of, I called a friend of mine who I know smokes pot and asked her to bring some over. I am not a pot smoker. I've done it less than a handful of times in my whole life. It's not that I am ashamed of the pot smoking in general so much as the addictive behavior to numb feelings I didn't want to deal with. That's how people create strong addictions to alcohol and drugs. Unfortunately but luckily the pot didn't really help. I felt okay for a bit and then it all came back in less than an hour. And it tasted gross. The desperation I feel feels like the weight of the world on my shoulders right now. I think it's because Tyler doesn't seem bothered by all this at all. I feel alone in the way I feel about it because he doesn't understand it. It's not jealous or 'keeping up with the jones" or a biological clock. At least I don't think so. It's some other feeling that I can't identify.

In an effort to be happy for Kim & Tyrone and be a better Aunt, I borrow my niece Kira for a sleepover. That is a full blog in itself! Though I wish I had done it right away because I'm sure I've forgotten many gems. When I picked up Kira, my new friend Jenn told me she had a message for me. Jenn is a channeler so I was excited to hear what she had to say. When I was able to meet with her she told me that although Tyler & I are slightly blocking the pregnancy with our lack of intention (normal minor stuff) there is actually a bigger reason why we haven't conceived yet. Nothing physcially with us, but that there is some things that need to be in place in the world before I can have this baby that I am suppose to. She said it could happen tomorrow but it could be like 4 more years. I'm not sure my mental state will last that long!

October/November 2008

Everytime I turn around someone new is pregnant. At least that's how it feels. My lovely friend Danielle who produces adorable children (evidence: Hudzyn) is expecting her second. Yay! I'm pretty sure it's okay that I tell people that...

The same week Danielle told me her news, another friend of mine told me she was pregnant with her number two. And to top that week off, one of the characters on my show Dexter, figures out she's pregnant!

I also started hanging out with Tyler's step-cousin's wife who is pregant. She actually had her baby on Thursday night: a baby girl Addison.

My lovely friend Megan (the stylist) had her adorable boy Alexander Gabriel a few weeks ago.

Nov 19/08

I find out that another close friend of mine is expecting. This isn't unexpected as I was aware that she was trying but still feels like a huge "UGH another one". I know this person might be reading this eventually so I want her to know "Much love and blessings!" It's not that I don't want others to get pregnant, I just want to too! So last night on the phone with Tyler I was like "okay I am sick of other people getting pregnant and I want to get serious about this." To which my ultra sensitive husband kindly responds with a "well get to it then" type attitude. Thanks honey, jeez. However he is not helping the situation by working out in Hinton right now. I considered getting in a vehicle and finding my way to Hinton and having non-stop sex until i'm pregnant LOL Not in a real way but in a like already then, lets get down to business way.

Right now I feel so torn. Feeling very selfish for wanting to get pregnant and have a baby when I don't have my shit figured out. It has been about 11 months since I have "worked" at a day job. I'm feeling very much like I have done nothing for the last year but I know that's not true - it's just the critic in me talking. I had a very nice talk with my Mother in Law Mary about how I have grown and progressed this year. It's really hard right now because...well some of you might not know, but I suffer from clinical depression. Not always a straight forward 'depression' like most would think of but more of a irritablity, negativity, lack of energy, very emotional, etc. Being home all the time certainly isn't helping as I have little structure to remember to take my pills and I think the pills helped big time to help me feel more stable. How sad is it that I know the pills help but I have a hard time even taking them?

I'm usually really open but it's taken me a long time to write a blog about the miscarriage stuff. By the way, I totally hate the word miscarriage. To me it's like an outdated swear word. Does it have another name I can use? I think I'm looking for some really great advice. Maybe I should offer a prize for the winner? I've gotten some advice but I'm looking for something that resonates with me really deeply. I think I am going to try to meditate and look inward for some answers.

I don't know what I want to do with my career life right now...I am in limbo. Limbo is a horrible and fantastic place to be! Horrible because you are neither here nor there, fantastic because it has so much opportunity in it. I think that is what's holding me back. I don't want to throw away this opportunity to do something incredible fulfilling, amazing, special...tonight I volunteered at the Taste of Red Deer (part of the Festival of Trees). Lots of details, but it boils down to I had a really awesome time when I was able to work the ticket booth, talking to people and selling them tickets. I'm sure there is some kind of answer in that but I don't know what it is. Retail would be an obvious one but I don't think it's the answer as retail isn't consistently busy and it pays like crap. I'm a material girl. Stay tuned...

Baby Madness - Part 2

Early 2008
Since we had gotten pregnant so easily the first time I really expected it to happen very quickly again. However the circumstances changed as Tyler quit his local job and got a job out near Edmonton at the beginning of 2008. He was/is only home on weekends now which can really effect timing. I started really obsessively taking pregnancy tests all the time which are ridiculously expensive by the way!

I think possibly in January, I found out that my friend Allison was pregnant and due on the same day I had been given. My first, very irrational thought was "bitch stole my baby!". Very irrational cuz 1) Allison is so far from being any kind of bitch & 2) obviously she couldn't possibly have stolen my fertilized embryo and put it in herself nor would she want to if she could.

Another friend/acquantance of mine, Robin, was pregnant too. She was due in May.

Jan 22/08
Still quite bothered by the miscarriage and all the baggage it comes with I wrote the following:

Miscarriage is…
…failure.
…delayed gratification.
…my fear awakened.
…torture for my lack of patience.
…undiscriminating.
…unfair.
…depressing.
…a wedge in the relationship.
…a gavel stopping my happy news.

Feb 28/Mar 1 Weekend

I was very fortunate to travel to Dallas, Texas for a BeautiControl convention. I had gotten into the BeautiControl business sort of by accident and decided to go to the convention at least for the benefit of being around a great bunch of successful women. I never expected to be so blown away by everything and so inspired. I came back practically flying and ready to throw myself into business instead of worrying about getting pregnant.

When Tyler & I had gotten engaged it had been after a long time of me badgering him about it. After that experience I had vowed to myself that having babies would not be the same. I didn't want to pressure Tyler into it in any way (which I was successful with I believe) and I didn't want to pressure my body into the actually conception. Plus I thought if I could just forget about it and having fun with the "trying" part (wink wink) then it would more naturally happen. One of the great benefits I've found with being off my birth control is that my sexual appetite came back after a long hiatus (I think Tyler would say it's a benefit too LOL). So I spent March & April going hard with BeautiControl.

May 3/08

My brother's baby Chaise was born. Pretty exciting stuff! Unfortunately I don't have the relationship or contact with him that I desire. Still working on it though...the most important thing to me is that I don't give up.

May 4 - May 12/08

Tyler & I went to Greece! Amazing time, amazing place. If I hadn't miscarried I would have been approximately 5 months pregnant. I'm believe everything happens for a reason and man those airplane seats would have been even tigher if I had a baby in me! That being said I thought it would have been really cool to tell my baby that he/she was conceived in Greece. What I hadn't anticipated was how tired we both were going to be on the trip from site-seeing etc. We only managed to 'get it on' once I believe and definitely didn't get pregnant from it. However we did manage to have a fabulous vacation and at the risk of sounding like people who annoy me...strengthen our relationship.

May 27/08
My becoming more of a friend and less of an acquantice Robin had her beautiful baby boy Kagan. His features are so small!

Baby Madness - Part 1

Okay so my baby craziness deserves it's own entry :-D Prepare yourselves, as my desperation isn't pretty! :-D

Oct 17/07

Alright so on October 17th I had a phone appointment with a psychic (blogged!) in which I had wanted to ask if I'd be able to physically have children. I've always been worried at the back of my mind, that that challenge would be mine to bear. Before I even had a chance to ask she told me that I'd be having them soon. And that I'd better be sure before we started trying as it wouldn't take me long to get pregnant. That night Tyler & I went out for our 7 year Anniversary (we celebrate our "official" dating anniversary as well as our wedding anniversary). At dinner I discussed what the psychic had said with Tyler. I had been sort of working on him to have kids for a few months. I have always been a little antsy about having kids as I'm not really a "mom" type of person. I've never been one to ogle over babies or children. In fact I'd take a puppy over a baby in terms of cuteness. I think this came a lot from having such a big age different between my siblings and I. I had really felt like I had gone through "raising" kids and was pretty realistic about what it entails unlike some people who have build fantasy worlds around it.

However, two pretty close friends of mine had had babies recently, one in August & one in September and they seemed to be surviving it. My younger brother had also found out that he was expecting a baby which made me think "if he can be excited about becoming a father than Tyler & I should be able to handle it". We are certainly old enough and had all the things you want to have in place first: jobs, home, vehicles, marriage, etc. Tyler isn't big on doing things just cuz it's the thing to do or cuz everyone else is doing it so he had to be convinced it was right for us. I managed to convince him with the fact that we didn't have prescription coverage and I'd have to pay for my birth control pills from then on LOL I had just bought another month's worth though so he insisted on me starting and finishing that pack first. It was really important to him though that we weren't "trying" per say as he knows I am very 'type a' and could go a little crazy with each passing month that might go by without a pink plus sign on a stick. So roughly four weeks later we were "letting happen what happens".

Nov 28/07

A woman from HR that I had never met before showed up unexpectedly at my office. She asked to see me privately and I got really nervous wondering what I was getting in trouble for...it hadn't occured to me that her visit was related to the restructing happening in our government office. Turns out the Regional Office for Insurance that I was working in was being 'abolished' (lovely word isn't it?). I had work until the end of December and then if I wanted, I could accept a position three levels lower in another department in Lacombe. It was the same position I had started in with the company three and a half years earlier and was supervised by a woman I really didn't care for. I wasn't really happy in my job but had gotten comfortable - expecially as I liked the people I worked with. After discussing it with Tyler, I decided that I didn't really want to stay with this company anymore. Although my future employment was uncertain I was really excited for the opportunity to do something new & exciting.

Dec 14/07

It was Friday night & I was on facebook (as I always was then) and had typed in "Crystal has a secret" under my status. I didn't really have a secret but I was looking for a response from a particular person about something (long, very silly story - don't ask). My friend Shelley noticed my status and being one of the few who knew about our baby plans messaged me to ask me if I was pregnant. I jokingly wrote back "no i don't think so, but i'll go pee on a stick to find out". I had a test in my bathroom so did the whole urinate thing but set it aside as I was getting ready to go out at the same time (& facebooking): we had plans that night to go out for dinner with my two couple friends Kyla & Michael and Shelley & Scott (yes the one who had messaged me). Well mid message, and five minutes later, I casually turned over the stick and was shocked to read "Pregnant". Shocked because I had just had my period less than two weeks prior and we had only been sexually active sans birth control for like 4 weeks! I was like "wait - does pregant really mean pregnant?" cuz that didn't really make sense with the information I had. And it wasn't even one of those + or - it was one that ready "Pregnant" or "Not Pregnant" I ran to the bathroom to review the informational package, searching for a clue to how I could really be pregnant. Most research would have me being ovulating at this point in the cycle, not pregnant!

Needless to say we were very surprised/overwhelmed and in shock. We hadn't expected such quick results but I was pretty excited about it. I went to the doctor's office to confirm it (as maybe the drugstore stick was wrong) on that Monday and the doc was a little surprised too. But yep we were pregnant and given an estimated due date of August 28th (making me only like two weeks pregnant). Well I've never been good at keeping good news to myself, so despite not intending to tell ANYONE I had told quite a few people (some co-workers, Kyla & Shelley, my mom who point blank asked me, my hair stylist friend who i had an appointment with...etc).

Now I can't remember the exact dates of the week for the following but...I ended up having some pretty sharp pains in my side/pelvis area. I avoided going to the doctor (ignorance is bliss!) but after complaining the whole day, having severe pain all night, my boss lady Cynthia insisted that I at least go to the walk in clinic. The walk in doc thought it was pain from my uterus stretching (at 2ish weeks??) but said we could do an ultrasound to make sure everything was all right and that it wasn't an eptopic pregnancy (fertilited in the fallopian tube - very dangerous). The ultrasound was going to take a month to schedule until I explained how important it was and I got in for the next day @ 1pm. My pains were pretty intense the next morning and probably worsened by the fact that I was trying to drink ship loads of water. Thank goodness Tyler was able to leave work to come to the ultrasound with me as he was working in town then. The technician couldn't see anything and then decided to do an internal ultrasound too (horrible by the way when you are already in pain down there). She called a doctor in & they whispered back in forth (thanks guys). Then I was told I could go get dressed. When I dressed I noticed some spotting and knew that was not a good sign.

The doc came to tell Tyler and I that they couldn't see any baby on the monitor but observed fluid that could be a sign of an ecptopic pregnancy. They told us to go to the emergency @ the hospital. Tyler & I was pretty confused and worried as they didn't do a great job of explaining anything to us. Especially when the doctor said "oh it should be okay. they might have to remove one of your fallopian tubes but you'll still have the other!"

Emergency wasn't much better. I was taken to a bed with very little explanation and Tyler was told he had to wait in the main waiting room. Someone eventually came and took my blood and I was asked if I had every had surgery before. Then left on my own. A good hour later I finally asked if I could at least get my husband at this point and/or wait in a chair as I didn't need to be wasting a bed. They went and got Tyler & we waited again. Then they moved us to another room and waited. Still with no information. I kept trying to find out what was going on: was I waiting for surgery, did they know what was wrong?? No one really seemed to know anything or be able to tell me anything. Finally at about 5:30pm (yeah 4 1/2 hours after my ultrasound appointment) we went into a room with a doctor. He told me that the blood test was for a quantitative test to see how my much hCG (pregnancy hormone) I had. Apparently if you have less than a certain amount (I think it was like 1500) nothing will show up on an ultrasound. My hCG was low, only like 275 or something. Typically it is suppose to double each day at this time so I was told to come back on that Saturday for another blood test to see if we could do an ultrasound to see if anything was wrong.

Saturday, Dec 22/07

At a very early time in the morning (I think it was 6am) Tyler & I went to the hospital. I am not very good at being in the unknown so I wanted to find out what was happening as soon as I could. I had continued to have bleeding over the last few days so was really worried. My parents were up for our Christmas celebration with them so I obviously had to tell them what was going on. I gave blood for another test and we waited the three hours to see what was going on. A pretty young male doctor took us into a room and informed me that my hCG was about 250. So not only had it not gone up significantly, it had actually dropped, indicating miscarriage. I started crying of course but tried to keep my cool and be logical. Afterwards Tyler told me the doctor's hands were just shaking the entire time we were in there. We wondered if it was the first time he'd had to tell something that. The doc said they don't really do DNC's anymore unless they had to, so everything would pass normally like a period and then we could start trying again as soon as we were ready.

A mere 7 1/2 days after finding out I was pregnant I found out I had miscarried. Needless to say this was very much an emotional rollercoaster for me. I hadn't really had time to accept the fact that we were expecting a child let alone adjust to the fact that we no longer were. It was Christmas holidays and I was trying to put on a happy face when I just really wanted to either mourn it or be in denial about it. Part of me wanted to get wasted drunk to drown the feelings but the other part didn't "just in case" the doctors were wrong and I was still actually pregnant not miscarrying. We first were in Saskatchewan with Tyler's very large family and then we went to Medicine Hat with my aunt & her family, my parents, sister, grandma, brother & his undeserving 4/5 month pregnant girlfriend. Undeserving in my eyes, very subjective I'll grant you.

It was tough. Tougher than I wanted to admit. Tougher than I still want to admit. I was lucky enough to be somewhat prepared for the possibility of miscarriage. My doctor on the Monday had told me that 1/4 pregnancies miscarry for absolutely no known reason. However you don't want to be the '1' you know? It took a long time for the miscarriage to complete physically which I didn't really expect. I believe it was into February before I stopped testing positive with at home pregnancy tests and it was really hard for me mentally to wonder if I was re-pregnant or still faux-pregnant. It was hard for Tyler in a different way. I don't know if he really mourned/mourns it the way I do as he didn't feel it the way I did. All he saw was his wife going a little crazy about pregnancy, exactly what he didn't want to happen.

In My Head...

I hate when something gets in my head and won't leave. Most of you have probably experienced this with a song or melody. But have you ever experienced it with a show or movie? The other morning I watched "the Other Boleyn Girl" and I can't stop thinking about it, or rather 'feeling' about it. I felt certain things when I was watching the movie and I can't get that feeling to go away.

My brief synopsis of the movie for those who haven't seen it (skip if you prefer not to know how the movie goes):

The 'true' story takes place around the 1500s and beings with the Boleyn family; a aristocratic type family who has a title but not a whole lot of money. There are two Boleyn sisters, Anne (played by Natalie Portman) and Mary (played by Scarlett Johannson) and the best way to establish yourself or get ahead in this time period is to marry up, using your daughters. The family sees a unique opportunity to become involved with King Henry the XIII (8th) as his wife hadn't given him a male heir.

The original plan was to get the King's attention through Anne, the unmarried and allegedly more devious of the two sisters. However the strong willed Anne upsets the king through a series of events and he ends up falling for the married Mary - a fact that doesn't seem to affect the King. The King invites/orders the family to "court" (I'm assuming this translates to mean his castle) where he proceeds to seduce Mary and impregnate her.

Then, Anne ends up seducing the King herself, convincing him to get an annulment from his current/first wife, seperate from the Roman church to start his own and to marry her. Part of the seduction is that she will give him a legitimate male heir (her sister managed to produce a male but his is a 'bastard' of course). While Anne was successful at getting the King to do this things, it causes him much stress so he ends up resenting her immensly. Anne first gives birth to a female (Queen Elizabeth the First it turns out) but manages only a stillborn/miscarried male before the King accuses her of crimes and has her beheaded....

So, although I believe you are suppose to like Mary's character in the movie, I wasn't much of a fan as I don't really like Scarlett Johansson. I consider her a good actress but for some reason I don't like her (I think I'm jealous of her blondeness and apparent sex appeal). Instead I really resonated with Natalie Portman's character Anne. So her character goes through quite a journey of feelings - the King choosing her sister over her, being exiled by her family to France, being beckoned back to keep the King interested in her sister despite being bed ridden, then wooing the King and bending him to her will so that she can become Queen but having to squash her personal feelings through this. Then what she be celebrated success is not joyful as the King ends up resenting her, having forceful sex, many affairs...then stress over trying to produce a male child with the fear of being burned at the stake or beheaded being the penalty of no heir.

Anne's desperation to produce a male heir reminded me of how I am feeling lately. Certainly not to the same extent! - but definitely some of the same feelings. Tyler & I decided to stop using any sort of birth control and allow a baby (or babies/twins if I have my way) to come about as nature allowed. However this was about a year ago and I am struggling between letting things happen naturally and getting totally crazy about it...I think a previous blog touched on this a bit but I don't think I've given it the blog it deserves. So I'm going to continue it in it's own entry...

What's Playing in My Ipod Right Now...

The music that's making me move right now. A fast way to preview the tunes is to type the artist than song into www.youtube.com Works more often than not :-D


Lollipop - Framing Hanley
Video is hot, hot, hot...
http://www.musicloversgroup.com/framing-hanley-lollipop-video-and-lyrics/

the rest in no particular order...
Poker Face - Lady GaGa
I Don't Care - FallOut Boy
Krazy - Pitbull & Lil Jon
Let's Go - Madison
Sex on Fire - Kings of Leon
I Love the Whole World - Clip from Discovery Channel
Disturbia - Rhianna
You're Gonna Go Far Kid - Offspring
Fun for Me - Portishead & Moloko
Fly on the Wall - Miley Cyrus
Let it Rock - Kevin Rudolf
Addicted - Saving Abel
Something in Your Mouth - Nickelback
Blue Christmas - Elvis Presley
Green Sleeves - Vanessa Carlton
Machine Gun - Portishead
So What - Pink
Shy - Ani DiFranco
Almost Lover - A Fine Frenzy
Black Tongue - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Paper Planes - MIA
Shake It - Metro Station

Halo - Pinup Saints
Short Download available @ http://www.pinupsaints.blogspot.com/

Front & Back

Hello My Loyal Readers,

So years ago Tyler and I stumbled upon an agruement about a coin. I said on particular side is the front & he was outraged to think that I thought that as he felt the other side was the front. Turns out there isn't really a "right" answer when it comes to the public's point of view. We got married anyway, despite our differing opinions, LOL but he started thinking about it again so I thought I'd blog it & get a poll from y'all. So look at the picture above and tell me, it terms of heads and tails, which is the front for you & what's the back?

I'll post as a comment which one I think is which...please do the same :-D

Caio for now,
Crystal

My note from the Universe...

Of course not everyone understands you, Crystal.
It takes crazy to know crazy.
It takes sexy to know sexy.
And most assuredly, it takes cool to know cool.
The Universe

A New President, A New USA?

I'm not sure why I was more interested in the US election than my own here in Canada. Perhaps because the US takes a full two years leading up to their election "advertising" it. Perhaps because the opportunity was there to create history - first through a so-called 'black' president vs a female president with Obama & Hilary fighting for the Democratic vote and then through either a 'black' president or a 'female' vice-president. Perhaps because I watch a lot more US television than Canadian LOL I'd like to think it's because with the American decision comes an opportunity for change, an option we didn't have when voting here in Canada!

Many people weren't afraid to weigh in with their opinion that the Americans weren't "ready for a Black President". Did race come into play? We'll never know for sure but in some voter's eyes I'm sure it came down to choosing between the devil they knew (McCain - a white old guy like every other president) and the devil they don't. With McCain they knew what they were going to get, the same ol' same ol' whereas with Obama, at least there is a chance for something fresh & new. I myself am very excited to see what Obama is going to do. I haven't really been following their platforms and what they stand for but I did listen to both McCain's concession speech and Obama's victory speech. Both seemed very well writtened and refreshingly intelligent compared to the drizzle I'm used to hearing from BUSH!

However, with Obama's speech, I really felt like I was witnessing the begining of a new world. Deep inside me something registered with my soul, that I was listening to a true world leader and not just a political candidate. I feel our world is changing for the better and that the US voting in Obama is yet another step towards this more harmonized and positive society. I am not giving Obama all the credit for this change, I simply think that by the voters turning out as they did and choosing Obama, they are demonstrating that they are ready to be a new America. It's already being reported that voter turnout is the highest it's been since women were given the right to vote in 1920. Hindsight will always be 20/20 but I hope that I am still rooting for Obama in the 2012 election!

P.S. I couldn't help but notice that Obama & his family were wearing black & red despite being the "blue" party!

If you missed it & want to read Obama's speech in it's entirety, check out:

(text version) http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/politics/6095699.html

or i'm sure youtube and many other sites will have the video ;-D

However, I'd like to highlight a few sections myself for your quick read...

"It's the answer told by lines that stretched around schools and churches in numbers this nation has never seen, by people who waited three hours and four hours, many for the first time in their lives, because they believed that this time must be different, that their voices could be that difference.

It's the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled. Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been just a collection of individuals or a collection of red states and blue states. We are, and always will be, the United States of America."

"Sasha and Malia [his young daughters] ... I love you both more than you can imagine. And you have earned the new puppy that's coming with us ...to the new White House."

"This is your victory. And I know you didn't do this just to win an election. And I know you didn't do it for me. You did it because you understand the enormity of the task that lies ahead. "

"The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even in one term. But, America, I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there. I promise you, we as a people will get there."

"This victory alone is not the change we seek. It is only the chance for us to make that change. And that cannot happen if we go back to the way things were."

"In this country, we rise or fall as one nation, as one people. Let's resist the temptation to fall back on the same partisanship and pettiness and immaturity that has poisoned our politics for so long."

"And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn, I may not have won your vote tonight, but I hear your voices. I need your help. And I will be your president, too."

"America, we have come so far. We have seen so much. But there is so much more to do. So tonight, let us ask ourselves — if our children should live to see the next century; if my daughters should be so lucky to live as long as Ann Nixon Cooper, what change will they see? What progress will we have made?

This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment.

This is our time, to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth, that, out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope. And where we are met with cynicism and doubts and those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes, we can."

Even re-reading it gave me a smile & butterflies around my neck!