A Good Debate: Share your baby names before baby is born?

For names I have always believed in keeping them to ourselves. I thought I had maybe blogged on this topic before but I couldn't find it in my fast search so I'll have to do it from memory. Reasons why I don't want to share my possible baby names (once I figure them out):

1) People are much more likely to give you their (unsoliciated) opinion of the name, when it hasn't been officially attached to a baby yet. All the things it rhymes with, who they don't like who has that name, etc. If you announce the name & then hand them a baby they are much more likely to just say "awww, he/she is adorable" (even if they aren't LOL).

2) It's near impossible for most people to keep information to themselves. If you have worked really hard to come up with a combo of names that reflects your family, you guys as a couple and an impending baby, how would you feel if someone shortly before you gave birth, named their baby that? Even if your mother told some random stranger in the post office just so she could get it off her chest, that person could end up in the same hospital as you, or same class or something like that. Some people might not care about this, but as a "Crystal" from 1982 who shared my name with at least 2 others at any given time, a unique-ish name is important.

That being said, I am not directly opposed to "bouncing" names off of people to get a reaction...to do that I might use the internet or one or two trusted people...just once we have officially decided I think I'll be MUM on it. However, I have considered having a baby naming contest so we can get some help on getting some good names to think on.

A couple girls that are friends/aquaintances of mine had an issue regarding names. Since I'm not super close with them, I'm going to rename them. Couple A, lets call them the Smiths, got pregnant and shared the news. They had a family association to the name "Blair" so if they had a boy that was the name they were going to use. Unfortunately, 'the Smiths' had a miscarriage and lost the baby. They then decided maybe it wasn't the best time to have a baby so focused on their careers for a while. Good friends of theirs, "the Jones" (real creative I know LOL), got pregnant right after they got married. They were struggling to decide what to name their baby when they suddenly thought of the name "Blair" and decided it was great for them! It caused a lot of hurt feelings for the Smiths as they had their baby taken away from them and the Jones definitely knew how important the name Blair was for them (the Smiths would use it regardless when they did have a child one day). The Jones were very stubborn at first, insisting they didn't realize that the Smiths had picked that name but eventually did name their baby boy something different but it caused some hurt feelings in the meantime.

Yesterday I had lunch with a former co-worker Cynthia, who had her daughter's name picked out until 33 days before she gave birth. On this day, 33 days before her own child was born, her sister used the name Cynthia had wanted since she herself was a child. I just think that is selfish on the sister's part. Why not pick out a name that has meaning for you??

Some other comments I dug up from the internet.

"Most parents, however, admit that they don't want to share the name of their baby-to-be because they don't want to hear any criticism of their choice. I think that's a pretty valid reason since people seem to have no problems sharing their opinions, particularly when it comes to anything parenting related."

"Another friend of mine chose a name and someone else pointed out that the initials would be PIG. She hadn't considered that and decided to keep the name but change the order. Maybe not a big deal, but maybe it was. By putting her name out there, she was alerted to the situation. What we name our children DOES matter. There are plenty of studies to prove it."

"When I was pregnant, my husband and I had picked out a boy name and girl name. We shared those names with close family. We had a boy and named him Elijah Blue. The close family we shared our baby names with is now having a girl and is planning to name their daughter the name we shared with them!!! I am very upset because that girl name was chosen by my husband and I because what the meaning of the name symbolizes. The close family says they don't remember us telling them.... I don't believe that. "

http://www.parentdish.com/2009/01/16/should-you-share-your-unborn-babys-name/