I resign as "General Manager of the Universe"

I was reading a book tonight that mentioned as the main character "somewhere along the line assumed the position of General Manager of the Universe" and tried to control everything in her life. She was driving herself crazy trying to control everything that was not meant to be in her control. That really resonated with me and so, like the character of the book, I also "resign as General Manager of the Universe".

A few weeks back, as Tyler & I (and Dexter of course) were heading back to Red Deer from Calgary, I was discussing with Tyler something that I thought would help him with his life (I can't remember the topic, but it could have been something I was trying to help him "fix" about himself). In an unrude way, Tyler told me to just focus on myself and do what I needed to do to get me where I wanted me to be instead of trying to help everyone else. The comment made me pause and think "Yes, I do need to focus on me and my needs and growth rather than everyone and anyone else's!"

For as long as I can remember, I've been a Fixer. I want to fix everyone's problems and the things they got going on in their life. When I see a great book, an episode on TV, or a great piece of advice I'm always thinking "who needs this information?" Well how about me? There's a few sayings that came in right now. One of my favorites is that you "can't pour water from an empty pitcher" but another commonly know one with a similar message is "Physician, heal thyself". My interpretation of these is that we need to get ourselves in order before we can really help anyone else. Kind of like when you're on an airplane and they say to secure your own oxygen mask first before assisting anyone with theirs.

Another key point I took away from the book was that problems are gifts &/or have gems within them. The example the book used was a customer service rep complaining about angry callers, when in reality, if there weren't customers with problems she wouldn't have a job. That made me look at some of my problems in a new way:

1. Weight Issue - some of the positive within that problem is that I need to be thankful that I can afford an abundance of food, that I have the option of choice for the foods I eat, that I have the time to eat...
2. House selling - positives: we have a house to sell, my husband has work, we have a family that we want to keep together, that we can take time to sell rather than say having the bank foreclosing or some negative like that.

A few more things that I liked from the book:
-that we need to recogize that we will always have "problems" in our lives. That there is never going to be a "just right" time.
-that there are no difficult situations, they are simply situations which our perspective makes "difficult" or some other adjective.
-that we need step away from our situations and thoughts and just observe them for what they are without judgement before making decisions and acting on them.

Not making judgements is a challenge for me...so much so that I want to write a seperate blog on the subject so that this one isn't TOO lengthly.