Hey Folks,
So one of the original reasons I started this blog was to be able to rant, guilt-free, about my in-laws without hurting my husband's feelings...and it worked really well for me for quite some time!
But now, I'd like to start a new era of writing for myself. Thought provoking, emotional, positive and well "publishable". As much as my in-laws give me great material, I'd never be able to publish it without hurting their feelings and our relationships. So I am starting a new blog now, where it will be free of "secrets" and entirely publishable.
I still hope to be as entertaining as heck, still very "Crystal-esque", so join me in book marking my new blog:
"Inside the Mind...of Crystal"
http://inspirelaughlove.blogspot.com
Thanks to Everyone who has read, commented and enjoyed this blog to date!
Love, Crystal
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
How Many Kids to Have?
I have never really had the "right" answer to this question. First of all, it's incredibly personal. But secondly, ther are just too many pros/cons for every situation that it becomes a decision bases on which ones you can live with. I've always argued that having one kid was wrong cuz they'd be lonely if not growing up than later in life. Two seemed an okay amount, but if something happened to one of them, the other would still be very lonely. Three is just an ugly, uneven number where one is always going to be left out. I know a lot of 3 kid families (my own included) and none of the dynamics seemed healthy. Four...well that just seems like it's starting to be a lot! LOL So you can see the dilemma.
I really liked being pregnant for the most part, it was a pretty textbook pregnancy with me having morning sickness/nausea in the beginning and then just the normal aches & pains throughout. I had some swelling in the end but my blood pressure was always great and I never had gestational diabetes or anything higher risk like that. However, while my labor was also pretty textbook in that nothing "medically wrong" happened, I was pretty disappointed with how well the epideral DIDN'T work. Shortly after giving birth, I swore to myself & the doctors and nurses that I would not be doing that again. They laughed and said they'd see me in two years at which point I said "No, I'm not a stupid person, I will not be doing this again." For the most part, now I think I could possibly handle it again but then I'll be watching someone give birth on reality TV shows and I wonder if I really could?
I can't help but wonder if being in better shape helps someone cope with labor better? I would think that the stronger your muscles are and your aerobic endurance is, you'd be better apt to deal with pushing baby out and enduring a longer labor. As much as my health was fine with the pregnancy, I think that I was at a disadvantage with the epidural's effectiveness possibly due to my weight. I was also really tired and didn't deal with the pain very well.
Okay, so with the question of labor aside, do I really want more kids? I find I am asking myself that a lot lately. Possibly because others keep asking if we're having more. In reality, at this moment in our lives, I do not want more children and neither does Tyler. I am truly having a hard enough time balancing my priorities as it is. So as of this moment we are not having more. My Grandma made a very good point to me. She said, "wait until you want more". For me there is no deadline for when we should have more, so if in 6 months or 2 years or 5 years if we decide we want another child then we can work on it then. We are leaving the window open to the future possibility, but for us, there is no rush to have more. Instead, I am going to continue enjoying Dexter, the great & wonderful baby I have right now and also try to learn to split my attention to include Tyler and my puppies as well.
As of this point I am also very open to the idea of possibly adopting kids in lieu of or maybe in addition to having others down the road. So, I don't have any concerns about my biological clock (plus I am 27 1/2 so I do have a few "hours" left on that clock).
A few years back, when my friend Diana had her girl Jackson, I had asked her if she wanted more kids. At the time, she said she honestly wasn't sure as at that time, Jackson certainly felt like "enough" for her in her heart and I think I understand what she meant by that now. That being said, Jackson will be 3 this summer and Diana is expecting baby number 2 this Spring.
I used to always joke with my mom that I was her first born & perfect so why did she keep trying? Both my brother and sister who came after me have been much more trying for her. I really feel like Dexter is perfect: beautiful, great demeanor (most of the time), and personality to boot...so why should I "ruin" that by having more? LOL
Oh, and one of my long standing arguements has been that you can't have one kid cuz they'll be lonely. But then I asked Tyler, if he really felt like having his brother was a benefit to him...and he kind of brushed it off as a joke but said no, having an older brother who picks on you sucks. So maybe it's not always a benefit to the child.
Thoughts?
I really liked being pregnant for the most part, it was a pretty textbook pregnancy with me having morning sickness/nausea in the beginning and then just the normal aches & pains throughout. I had some swelling in the end but my blood pressure was always great and I never had gestational diabetes or anything higher risk like that. However, while my labor was also pretty textbook in that nothing "medically wrong" happened, I was pretty disappointed with how well the epideral DIDN'T work. Shortly after giving birth, I swore to myself & the doctors and nurses that I would not be doing that again. They laughed and said they'd see me in two years at which point I said "No, I'm not a stupid person, I will not be doing this again." For the most part, now I think I could possibly handle it again but then I'll be watching someone give birth on reality TV shows and I wonder if I really could?
I can't help but wonder if being in better shape helps someone cope with labor better? I would think that the stronger your muscles are and your aerobic endurance is, you'd be better apt to deal with pushing baby out and enduring a longer labor. As much as my health was fine with the pregnancy, I think that I was at a disadvantage with the epidural's effectiveness possibly due to my weight. I was also really tired and didn't deal with the pain very well.
Okay, so with the question of labor aside, do I really want more kids? I find I am asking myself that a lot lately. Possibly because others keep asking if we're having more. In reality, at this moment in our lives, I do not want more children and neither does Tyler. I am truly having a hard enough time balancing my priorities as it is. So as of this moment we are not having more. My Grandma made a very good point to me. She said, "wait until you want more". For me there is no deadline for when we should have more, so if in 6 months or 2 years or 5 years if we decide we want another child then we can work on it then. We are leaving the window open to the future possibility, but for us, there is no rush to have more. Instead, I am going to continue enjoying Dexter, the great & wonderful baby I have right now and also try to learn to split my attention to include Tyler and my puppies as well.
As of this point I am also very open to the idea of possibly adopting kids in lieu of or maybe in addition to having others down the road. So, I don't have any concerns about my biological clock (plus I am 27 1/2 so I do have a few "hours" left on that clock).
A few years back, when my friend Diana had her girl Jackson, I had asked her if she wanted more kids. At the time, she said she honestly wasn't sure as at that time, Jackson certainly felt like "enough" for her in her heart and I think I understand what she meant by that now. That being said, Jackson will be 3 this summer and Diana is expecting baby number 2 this Spring.
I used to always joke with my mom that I was her first born & perfect so why did she keep trying? Both my brother and sister who came after me have been much more trying for her. I really feel like Dexter is perfect: beautiful, great demeanor (most of the time), and personality to boot...so why should I "ruin" that by having more? LOL
Oh, and one of my long standing arguements has been that you can't have one kid cuz they'll be lonely. But then I asked Tyler, if he really felt like having his brother was a benefit to him...and he kind of brushed it off as a joke but said no, having an older brother who picks on you sucks. So maybe it's not always a benefit to the child.
Thoughts?
Friday, April 09, 2010
Purging
Blog #3 for the night if you're counting...
When we decided to put our house up for sale, it was apparent to me that I needs to clean, organize & purge every area of our home so that it showed to its best advantage. I take responsibility for about 85-90% of the clutter in our house. I like to think that we have nice stuff, we just have too much of it.
I started in mid-January with surface level purges as I like to call them (that's the easy purges of getting ride of stuff you don't really like that much) and packed away a bunch of stuff that we don't need on a daily basis. So far I've packed up a good portion of our decorations, books that I've read but want to keep, out-of-season clothes, extra toilettries, and DVDs. I've also got my scrapbooking stuff in that area. I've gotten rid of clothes that don't suit me or don't fit well, books I'm never going to read, DVDs I'm never going to watch again, decorations that i don't "LOVE" and some kitchen stuff that we bought with good intentions but don't use.
For me,I'm ready to start with a clean slate. I know that in the past I have bought things foolishly, but I want to let those items go and learn from them. Tyler sees me getting rid of stuff (aka donating to charity and letting people we know pick through stuff) and he sees money walking out the door. I totally get his point of view, but I want the unwanted stuff gone as soon as it gets that label from me. I can only work hard to try to make sure that I don't fall into the same old habits. I tried to explain this to him (albeit not in the nicest way at first) and I think he gets it. I can't blame him for being skeptical.
I started a lot of the purging on my own, but I've also recently read a book by Peter Walsh called "It's All Much". He makes some really great points in his book and I highly recommend it if you're too attached to some material things. Some of my favorite points are:
-You need to live in the now. So don't save stuff for when "you have a bigger house", "you lose some weight", "it comes back into style", "when I finally have that dinner party". If you really do think things will change, give yourself a time limit and if you still haven't used that item within that time limit, out it goes!
-We have limited space, so do you value that item equal to how much space it takes up in your home?
-Stuff doesn't equal memories, or relatives. Don't keep things out of obligation, but because you actually enjoy them. And if you're not giving it the space it deserves (i.e. if it's in a box in your attic), then you either need to get rid of it, or honor it properly.
-Maintainance: once you have your home in the order you want, do the one in, one out rule.
Since I've begun this purge I feel better about myself and my home. It's been easier to keep the house tidy and I don't feel the need to purchase stuff as much. Sometimes you just have epiphanies about things too. For instance, since I began drinking Starbucks, I also began buying neat coffee mugs here and there. At first from Starbucks but also from like Safeway & such. When I go to have a cup of tea I always use these mugs instead of the ones that match our dish sets (of which there are 8 mugs) since the funness of them, increasing my enjoyment of my beverage. It occurred to me that I have enough "fun" mugs for me and my company to use and that I don't really need to keep the matching mugs out of obligation to the set. I mean, there's no "dish police" that will come make sure that my coffee cups match my plates! And I'd much rather serve coffee/tea in my fun mugs...once I let go of this obligation, I packed up the mugs to go to salvation army and freed up an entire shelf of my cupboard. With the lack of cupboard space that is common in new homes, one shelf is a lot of value!
My purge continued tonight in a new level. I'm not sure what started the thought, but I decided that I needed to delete my two facebook games: Farmville & Mafia Wars as they are huge time suckers. I have enjoyed playing them but they are extremely time consuming and the enjoyment I get from them isn't equal to the time spent on them. And you can never truly master these games as they are constantly integrating new items to get, new levels to achieve etc: there is no end in sight! I don't come away from the game play feeling better about my day. Whereas when i watch a good show or movie, write a blog or read a good book I do feel good about that. So onto the computer i went, hesitated for a few minutes and then blocked the applications from my facebook. I honestly felt some anxiety about deleting them and some regret...which reassures me that I am/was way too attached and needed to sever myself from them. Now if I can just get Tyler to quit them as well, we might actually have some time on our weekends to spend together rebuilding our relationship!
When we decided to put our house up for sale, it was apparent to me that I needs to clean, organize & purge every area of our home so that it showed to its best advantage. I take responsibility for about 85-90% of the clutter in our house. I like to think that we have nice stuff, we just have too much of it.
I started in mid-January with surface level purges as I like to call them (that's the easy purges of getting ride of stuff you don't really like that much) and packed away a bunch of stuff that we don't need on a daily basis. So far I've packed up a good portion of our decorations, books that I've read but want to keep, out-of-season clothes, extra toilettries, and DVDs. I've also got my scrapbooking stuff in that area. I've gotten rid of clothes that don't suit me or don't fit well, books I'm never going to read, DVDs I'm never going to watch again, decorations that i don't "LOVE" and some kitchen stuff that we bought with good intentions but don't use.
For me,I'm ready to start with a clean slate. I know that in the past I have bought things foolishly, but I want to let those items go and learn from them. Tyler sees me getting rid of stuff (aka donating to charity and letting people we know pick through stuff) and he sees money walking out the door. I totally get his point of view, but I want the unwanted stuff gone as soon as it gets that label from me. I can only work hard to try to make sure that I don't fall into the same old habits. I tried to explain this to him (albeit not in the nicest way at first) and I think he gets it. I can't blame him for being skeptical.
I started a lot of the purging on my own, but I've also recently read a book by Peter Walsh called "It's All Much". He makes some really great points in his book and I highly recommend it if you're too attached to some material things. Some of my favorite points are:
-You need to live in the now. So don't save stuff for when "you have a bigger house", "you lose some weight", "it comes back into style", "when I finally have that dinner party". If you really do think things will change, give yourself a time limit and if you still haven't used that item within that time limit, out it goes!
-We have limited space, so do you value that item equal to how much space it takes up in your home?
-Stuff doesn't equal memories, or relatives. Don't keep things out of obligation, but because you actually enjoy them. And if you're not giving it the space it deserves (i.e. if it's in a box in your attic), then you either need to get rid of it, or honor it properly.
-Maintainance: once you have your home in the order you want, do the one in, one out rule.
Since I've begun this purge I feel better about myself and my home. It's been easier to keep the house tidy and I don't feel the need to purchase stuff as much. Sometimes you just have epiphanies about things too. For instance, since I began drinking Starbucks, I also began buying neat coffee mugs here and there. At first from Starbucks but also from like Safeway & such. When I go to have a cup of tea I always use these mugs instead of the ones that match our dish sets (of which there are 8 mugs) since the funness of them, increasing my enjoyment of my beverage. It occurred to me that I have enough "fun" mugs for me and my company to use and that I don't really need to keep the matching mugs out of obligation to the set. I mean, there's no "dish police" that will come make sure that my coffee cups match my plates! And I'd much rather serve coffee/tea in my fun mugs...once I let go of this obligation, I packed up the mugs to go to salvation army and freed up an entire shelf of my cupboard. With the lack of cupboard space that is common in new homes, one shelf is a lot of value!
My purge continued tonight in a new level. I'm not sure what started the thought, but I decided that I needed to delete my two facebook games: Farmville & Mafia Wars as they are huge time suckers. I have enjoyed playing them but they are extremely time consuming and the enjoyment I get from them isn't equal to the time spent on them. And you can never truly master these games as they are constantly integrating new items to get, new levels to achieve etc: there is no end in sight! I don't come away from the game play feeling better about my day. Whereas when i watch a good show or movie, write a blog or read a good book I do feel good about that. So onto the computer i went, hesitated for a few minutes and then blocked the applications from my facebook. I honestly felt some anxiety about deleting them and some regret...which reassures me that I am/was way too attached and needed to sever myself from them. Now if I can just get Tyler to quit them as well, we might actually have some time on our weekends to spend together rebuilding our relationship!
Can I become less Judgemental?
First off, there's a blog before this one peeps if you missed it.
Okay, so the first half of Easter weekend was spent with Tyler's family: his Mom, brother, 2 nieces, and the Baby Mama. Most of the time there I was being very judgement, running a mental commentary on all the things I felt were wrong, annoying, etc. I couldn't wait to leave so that I could communially bitch about things with Tyler &/or write a blog about it.
Is it easy to judge and think harshly about Kim, & Tyrone (and a lot of the times, Mary)? Absolutely. Do I find it entertaining? Sadly yes. BUT, and big BUTT, does it really serve me positively? If I instead find a way to create a bubble around myself and not let them phase me, wouldn't I enjoy myself more during and after their visits? Would Dexter & Tyler also not be better for it? Would my personal karma improve?
I think the answer is yes. And I think that I need to work towards this goal of being less judgemental. In reality, I've got a "shit storm" of stuff I'd like to work on for myself including but not limited to improving my health, improving my finances, finding my passions, utilizing and enjoying my creative side, enjoying and building my family (not by having more kids but by increasing my positive relationships) and an endless list of projects I am always dreaming up.
Plus, I fully believe in the whole Positive attracts Positive...and that negative media is partially responsible for the negative aspects of the world...so why am I perpetuating negativity?? I need to write about positive things, "Good News" so to speak and be putting that into the world. I hope you enjoy it as much as the "bitchings".
:-)
Okay, so the first half of Easter weekend was spent with Tyler's family: his Mom, brother, 2 nieces, and the Baby Mama. Most of the time there I was being very judgement, running a mental commentary on all the things I felt were wrong, annoying, etc. I couldn't wait to leave so that I could communially bitch about things with Tyler &/or write a blog about it.
Is it easy to judge and think harshly about Kim, & Tyrone (and a lot of the times, Mary)? Absolutely. Do I find it entertaining? Sadly yes. BUT, and big BUTT, does it really serve me positively? If I instead find a way to create a bubble around myself and not let them phase me, wouldn't I enjoy myself more during and after their visits? Would Dexter & Tyler also not be better for it? Would my personal karma improve?
I think the answer is yes. And I think that I need to work towards this goal of being less judgemental. In reality, I've got a "shit storm" of stuff I'd like to work on for myself including but not limited to improving my health, improving my finances, finding my passions, utilizing and enjoying my creative side, enjoying and building my family (not by having more kids but by increasing my positive relationships) and an endless list of projects I am always dreaming up.
Plus, I fully believe in the whole Positive attracts Positive...and that negative media is partially responsible for the negative aspects of the world...so why am I perpetuating negativity?? I need to write about positive things, "Good News" so to speak and be putting that into the world. I hope you enjoy it as much as the "bitchings".
:-)
I resign as "General Manager of the Universe"
I was reading a book tonight that mentioned as the main character "somewhere along the line assumed the position of General Manager of the Universe" and tried to control everything in her life. She was driving herself crazy trying to control everything that was not meant to be in her control. That really resonated with me and so, like the character of the book, I also "resign as General Manager of the Universe".
A few weeks back, as Tyler & I (and Dexter of course) were heading back to Red Deer from Calgary, I was discussing with Tyler something that I thought would help him with his life (I can't remember the topic, but it could have been something I was trying to help him "fix" about himself). In an unrude way, Tyler told me to just focus on myself and do what I needed to do to get me where I wanted me to be instead of trying to help everyone else. The comment made me pause and think "Yes, I do need to focus on me and my needs and growth rather than everyone and anyone else's!"
For as long as I can remember, I've been a Fixer. I want to fix everyone's problems and the things they got going on in their life. When I see a great book, an episode on TV, or a great piece of advice I'm always thinking "who needs this information?" Well how about me? There's a few sayings that came in right now. One of my favorites is that you "can't pour water from an empty pitcher" but another commonly know one with a similar message is "Physician, heal thyself". My interpretation of these is that we need to get ourselves in order before we can really help anyone else. Kind of like when you're on an airplane and they say to secure your own oxygen mask first before assisting anyone with theirs.
Another key point I took away from the book was that problems are gifts &/or have gems within them. The example the book used was a customer service rep complaining about angry callers, when in reality, if there weren't customers with problems she wouldn't have a job. That made me look at some of my problems in a new way:
1. Weight Issue - some of the positive within that problem is that I need to be thankful that I can afford an abundance of food, that I have the option of choice for the foods I eat, that I have the time to eat...
2. House selling - positives: we have a house to sell, my husband has work, we have a family that we want to keep together, that we can take time to sell rather than say having the bank foreclosing or some negative like that.
A few more things that I liked from the book:
-that we need to recogize that we will always have "problems" in our lives. That there is never going to be a "just right" time.
-that there are no difficult situations, they are simply situations which our perspective makes "difficult" or some other adjective.
-that we need step away from our situations and thoughts and just observe them for what they are without judgement before making decisions and acting on them.
Not making judgements is a challenge for me...so much so that I want to write a seperate blog on the subject so that this one isn't TOO lengthly.
A few weeks back, as Tyler & I (and Dexter of course) were heading back to Red Deer from Calgary, I was discussing with Tyler something that I thought would help him with his life (I can't remember the topic, but it could have been something I was trying to help him "fix" about himself). In an unrude way, Tyler told me to just focus on myself and do what I needed to do to get me where I wanted me to be instead of trying to help everyone else. The comment made me pause and think "Yes, I do need to focus on me and my needs and growth rather than everyone and anyone else's!"
For as long as I can remember, I've been a Fixer. I want to fix everyone's problems and the things they got going on in their life. When I see a great book, an episode on TV, or a great piece of advice I'm always thinking "who needs this information?" Well how about me? There's a few sayings that came in right now. One of my favorites is that you "can't pour water from an empty pitcher" but another commonly know one with a similar message is "Physician, heal thyself". My interpretation of these is that we need to get ourselves in order before we can really help anyone else. Kind of like when you're on an airplane and they say to secure your own oxygen mask first before assisting anyone with theirs.
Another key point I took away from the book was that problems are gifts &/or have gems within them. The example the book used was a customer service rep complaining about angry callers, when in reality, if there weren't customers with problems she wouldn't have a job. That made me look at some of my problems in a new way:
1. Weight Issue - some of the positive within that problem is that I need to be thankful that I can afford an abundance of food, that I have the option of choice for the foods I eat, that I have the time to eat...
2. House selling - positives: we have a house to sell, my husband has work, we have a family that we want to keep together, that we can take time to sell rather than say having the bank foreclosing or some negative like that.
A few more things that I liked from the book:
-that we need to recogize that we will always have "problems" in our lives. That there is never going to be a "just right" time.
-that there are no difficult situations, they are simply situations which our perspective makes "difficult" or some other adjective.
-that we need step away from our situations and thoughts and just observe them for what they are without judgement before making decisions and acting on them.
Not making judgements is a challenge for me...so much so that I want to write a seperate blog on the subject so that this one isn't TOO lengthly.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Fun Things to Do
Finally got around to compiling some of my favorite entries from two great books.
“things to do now that you’re…a mom” Elfrea Lockley
• Buy a newspaper &/or the number one single from the day on which your baby was born, and tuck it away for baby when he’s older.
• “Cleaning and scrubbing can wait for tomorrow, for babies grow up, I’ve learned, to my sorrow. So quiet down cobwebs. Dust, go to sleep. I’m rocking my baby, and babies don’t keep.”
• Invent a new recipe and name it after your baby. This may take several attempts!
• If you want to see the latest blockbuster, many local movie theaters hold regular mother-and-baby screenings, where no one minds if there is a bit of background noise. If your local theater doesn’t do them, ask them if they’ll consider starting.
• Turn your kitchen into Vegas! Get together and play poker with other moms. No money needs to change hands with Mom’s Poker. Be inventive with the chips: breast pads, rusks, or carrots will do! Or how about chits for services – an hour’s babysitting, a tray of cookies, a glass of wine upon request. Anything goes!
• If you’re not sure how to meet more women with babies search online for sites such as www.cafemom.com. Look for local mother and baby groups, or hang out in the trndy new “breastfeeding cafes.”
• Keep a video diary of your days as a mom – these early days will pass faster than you think.
• Write a poem for your baby, to see if you can encapsulate the love you feel into words.
• Enjoy the umor of being a mom and write a limerick about your child. “There was a young baby called…” It won’t be long before your baby can recite it back to you!
• Laughter lifts the spirits like nothing else, so organize a babysitter and go to a comedy club. Or sit down to watch a funny movie with your baby. He’ll find your giggles infectious!
• “There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it.” Chinese Proverb
• Take advantage of nursery facilities to get a little exercise, take a swim, or just wallow in a steam bath for an hour or so. Your baby will enjoy the new sights and sounds of a busy childcare facility, and you’ll get a much-needed break.
• “There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings.” Hodding Carter Jr.
• Your home should be a representation of the new you. Get rid of anything that no longer seems to reflect the changes you feel, and make some room in your house and heart for all the new possibilities that lie ahead.
• Invent a story with your baby as the central character and type it up. When he’s old enough, you can ask him to illustrate it for you.
• Our ancestors marked the year according to the phases of the moon (the lunar cycle), and believed that each cycles is linked to a tree. Choose the tree that represents the moon at your child’s birth (you can find this in a Celtic tree calendar, if you are stuck), and plant one to honor your child’s birth.
• Buy a pretty piece of jewelry with your baby’s birthstone to offer as a “naming” gift, or just to celebrate her birth.
• “The best thing you can give children, next to good habits, are good memories.” Sydney J. Harris
• Walk barefoot in the sand with a newly toddling baby.
• Find a stick and write your child’s name in six-foot letters on a sandy beach.
• Live out fairy tales with your baby – visit castles, forests, and palaces, and make up stories as you go.
• Turn a floor-level cabinet into a “No Asking” cupboard and fill it with healthy snacks, crayons, and paper to nurture your child’s growing sense of independence.
“The Rookie Mom’s Handbook” Heather Gibbs Flett & Whitney Moss
• Make a time capsule
o Old Fashion Way: decorate a box, include front section of newspaper, print a pic of family car, technology (like an ipod & say what it does).
o Lazy-Woman’s Way: Use a camera to document stuff around the house & life
• When scrapbooking ad quotes like, Aunt Sharon says, “Cutest baby ever!”
• Photograph a nasty crying jag: you’ll have lots of pictures of baby being cute so don’t forget to document the hard times too.
• Go for a swim.
• If a book-club is too time consuming, start a movie-club.
• Create a comic strip: choose 3-5 photographs to assemble into a little story. Get some thought bubble stickers intended for scrapbooking and have fun. Feature friends & siblings too. Post on your fridge.
• Go to baby or toddler story time at the library.
• Go to an outdoor concert with baby.
• Document examples of bad parenting: Do you let your baby hold your beer bottle just for a laugh? How about putting her in the driver’s seat of the car so she can “steer”? Take a series of pictures that demonstrate “What Not To Do” and share them with your friends for a laugh.
• Alter your board books: if you don’t like the original content of the book, first coat all the pages, including the cover, with nontoxic paint. When its dry, use letter stickers or go freehand to add your own title to the cover. Use the inside pages to tell a story or, teach vocabulary with big pictures and subtitles.
• Purge your crap the easy way
o Select 3 things to throw away in each room.
o Select 3 things to donate from each room.
o Walk through the house with a bag or box & fill with things you’re not quite ready to part with and store it away until you are.
o Repeat monthly.
• Throw a themed potluck dinner party.
• Take pictures of baby contortionism.
• Blow bubbles for baby.
• Create a family photo wall to show off long distance relatives & friends to baby.
• Make a memory game with cardstock & photos of family/friends.
• Give your baby a pickle.
• Use a laundry basket to contain baby for fun or for rides around the house.
• Take a picture of baby against some excellent graffiti. The contract of the urban and baby is very edgy.
• Take 1-2-3 pictures: document baby’s ability to wave or clap, or expressions that build, etc then frame in 3 space frames.
• Document baby’s birthplace: take pictures of baby with items that help document the town/city where baby was born. Feature landmarks, local celebrities.
• Record baby laughing or babbling: use digital camera or phone record.
• Photograph the inanimate objects, too: if your baby has a security object, such as a blanket or stuffed animal, take a photo of it too.
o For the sentimental: sneak a picture of baby & item snuggling during sleep.
o For the absurdist: photograph item on a lounge chair or hanging in a tree.
o For the bad girl: position item doing adult activities such as drinking beer, watching TV or driving the car.
• Produce a year-end DVD. Google “muvee” for a great program to use.
• Hang out in the backyard with some fun stations:
o Water – a large plastic bowl of water and some measuring spoons & cups.
o Tunnel – collapsible nylon tunnels are inexpensive in the store.
o Kiddie pool
o Bubbles
o Tent it
o Push toys
o Beach Balls
• Birthday Party Idea…if you have a ton of kids coming, make baby trading cards to hand out as favors. Make a set for everyone, then shuffle so not in order & distribute to families. Then everyone has to go around trading to make a complete set.
o To make: have a photo & some trivia &/or stats and use business card sheets (available at dollar store).
“things to do now that you’re…a mom” Elfrea Lockley
• Buy a newspaper &/or the number one single from the day on which your baby was born, and tuck it away for baby when he’s older.
• “Cleaning and scrubbing can wait for tomorrow, for babies grow up, I’ve learned, to my sorrow. So quiet down cobwebs. Dust, go to sleep. I’m rocking my baby, and babies don’t keep.”
• Invent a new recipe and name it after your baby. This may take several attempts!
• If you want to see the latest blockbuster, many local movie theaters hold regular mother-and-baby screenings, where no one minds if there is a bit of background noise. If your local theater doesn’t do them, ask them if they’ll consider starting.
• Turn your kitchen into Vegas! Get together and play poker with other moms. No money needs to change hands with Mom’s Poker. Be inventive with the chips: breast pads, rusks, or carrots will do! Or how about chits for services – an hour’s babysitting, a tray of cookies, a glass of wine upon request. Anything goes!
• If you’re not sure how to meet more women with babies search online for sites such as www.cafemom.com. Look for local mother and baby groups, or hang out in the trndy new “breastfeeding cafes.”
• Keep a video diary of your days as a mom – these early days will pass faster than you think.
• Write a poem for your baby, to see if you can encapsulate the love you feel into words.
• Enjoy the umor of being a mom and write a limerick about your child. “There was a young baby called…” It won’t be long before your baby can recite it back to you!
• Laughter lifts the spirits like nothing else, so organize a babysitter and go to a comedy club. Or sit down to watch a funny movie with your baby. He’ll find your giggles infectious!
• “There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it.” Chinese Proverb
• Take advantage of nursery facilities to get a little exercise, take a swim, or just wallow in a steam bath for an hour or so. Your baby will enjoy the new sights and sounds of a busy childcare facility, and you’ll get a much-needed break.
• “There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings.” Hodding Carter Jr.
• Your home should be a representation of the new you. Get rid of anything that no longer seems to reflect the changes you feel, and make some room in your house and heart for all the new possibilities that lie ahead.
• Invent a story with your baby as the central character and type it up. When he’s old enough, you can ask him to illustrate it for you.
• Our ancestors marked the year according to the phases of the moon (the lunar cycle), and believed that each cycles is linked to a tree. Choose the tree that represents the moon at your child’s birth (you can find this in a Celtic tree calendar, if you are stuck), and plant one to honor your child’s birth.
• Buy a pretty piece of jewelry with your baby’s birthstone to offer as a “naming” gift, or just to celebrate her birth.
• “The best thing you can give children, next to good habits, are good memories.” Sydney J. Harris
• Walk barefoot in the sand with a newly toddling baby.
• Find a stick and write your child’s name in six-foot letters on a sandy beach.
• Live out fairy tales with your baby – visit castles, forests, and palaces, and make up stories as you go.
• Turn a floor-level cabinet into a “No Asking” cupboard and fill it with healthy snacks, crayons, and paper to nurture your child’s growing sense of independence.
“The Rookie Mom’s Handbook” Heather Gibbs Flett & Whitney Moss
• Make a time capsule
o Old Fashion Way: decorate a box, include front section of newspaper, print a pic of family car, technology (like an ipod & say what it does).
o Lazy-Woman’s Way: Use a camera to document stuff around the house & life
• When scrapbooking ad quotes like, Aunt Sharon says, “Cutest baby ever!”
• Photograph a nasty crying jag: you’ll have lots of pictures of baby being cute so don’t forget to document the hard times too.
• Go for a swim.
• If a book-club is too time consuming, start a movie-club.
• Create a comic strip: choose 3-5 photographs to assemble into a little story. Get some thought bubble stickers intended for scrapbooking and have fun. Feature friends & siblings too. Post on your fridge.
• Go to baby or toddler story time at the library.
• Go to an outdoor concert with baby.
• Document examples of bad parenting: Do you let your baby hold your beer bottle just for a laugh? How about putting her in the driver’s seat of the car so she can “steer”? Take a series of pictures that demonstrate “What Not To Do” and share them with your friends for a laugh.
• Alter your board books: if you don’t like the original content of the book, first coat all the pages, including the cover, with nontoxic paint. When its dry, use letter stickers or go freehand to add your own title to the cover. Use the inside pages to tell a story or, teach vocabulary with big pictures and subtitles.
• Purge your crap the easy way
o Select 3 things to throw away in each room.
o Select 3 things to donate from each room.
o Walk through the house with a bag or box & fill with things you’re not quite ready to part with and store it away until you are.
o Repeat monthly.
• Throw a themed potluck dinner party.
• Take pictures of baby contortionism.
• Blow bubbles for baby.
• Create a family photo wall to show off long distance relatives & friends to baby.
• Make a memory game with cardstock & photos of family/friends.
• Give your baby a pickle.
• Use a laundry basket to contain baby for fun or for rides around the house.
• Take a picture of baby against some excellent graffiti. The contract of the urban and baby is very edgy.
• Take 1-2-3 pictures: document baby’s ability to wave or clap, or expressions that build, etc then frame in 3 space frames.
• Document baby’s birthplace: take pictures of baby with items that help document the town/city where baby was born. Feature landmarks, local celebrities.
• Record baby laughing or babbling: use digital camera or phone record.
• Photograph the inanimate objects, too: if your baby has a security object, such as a blanket or stuffed animal, take a photo of it too.
o For the sentimental: sneak a picture of baby & item snuggling during sleep.
o For the absurdist: photograph item on a lounge chair or hanging in a tree.
o For the bad girl: position item doing adult activities such as drinking beer, watching TV or driving the car.
• Produce a year-end DVD. Google “muvee” for a great program to use.
• Hang out in the backyard with some fun stations:
o Water – a large plastic bowl of water and some measuring spoons & cups.
o Tunnel – collapsible nylon tunnels are inexpensive in the store.
o Kiddie pool
o Bubbles
o Tent it
o Push toys
o Beach Balls
• Birthday Party Idea…if you have a ton of kids coming, make baby trading cards to hand out as favors. Make a set for everyone, then shuffle so not in order & distribute to families. Then everyone has to go around trading to make a complete set.
o To make: have a photo & some trivia &/or stats and use business card sheets (available at dollar store).
Friday, February 26, 2010
Naming Dexter
As you all probably know, picking a name for our baby boy was one of the most difficult challenges of having a baby for me (2nd only to the actually delivering him part). If you haven't heard, we officially named him Dexter Reid Nelson. With the growing popularity of the TV show "Dexter", of which we are fans, people either assume that's where the name comes from or they feel the need to warn me that there is a show with that name. Most of the time, I'll say "His name is Dexter." and the person will go, "Oh cute. Um, did you know there is a show..." and trail off. LOL Anyway, I feel the need to tell the true story of how we came up with his name.
Tyler & I were looking for the holy grail of names, a name that isn't extremely common, but that isn't weird either. We were also desperately avoiding names that ended in "N" and names that started with "C, T & K". So one day while driving in the car together (I cannot remember where we were going, but I feel like we were heading North on Highway 2), we were listening to Tyler's Ipod when an Offspring song came on. The lead singer of the Offspring's name is Dexter, which Tyler thought of while listening to the song & said to me "How about Dexter?" I was pretty used to hating or disliking everything I heard so it gave me pause and I was like "I don't hate it!" Then I thought more about how it worked on two levels as I also liked the TV show and the Offspring. And it really fit the criteria we had set up for a name...so we decided to keep the name to ourselves and put it on our short list.
Then while watching a TV show called "Criminal Minds" I decided I liked the name Spencer Reid, which is one of the characters, I both liked the names individually & together. Tyler liked them also so they were both added to our short list, Spencer for a first name & Reid more likely for a middle name . Our plan was to brainstorm names we really liked and then wait til baby boy was born and see if one name suited him particularily.
Over time, Dexter was still towards the forefront for names but I began to really like 'Zac'. The problem with Zac though is that I felt it was pretty popular. Also, Tyler didn't like it. But with Spencer & Dexter being the two names vying for 1st, I wanted an option that didn't end in 'er'. Over the last few months I really felt like baby wasn't a Spencer or Dexter but a Zac. It probably didn't hurt that I had a crush on 'Zac Efron' after watching '17 Again'.
My mom was really grilling me for names one day on the phone, so I said, to give her an idea of the "kind of names" we liked, that Spencer was one (at this point, really thinking that we probably wouldn't go with Spencer). One of our things was that we didn't want anyone to know our name beforehand. The reasons behind this became clear when my mom told Vanessa about 'spencer' who then told Melody. Vanessa called me up to tell me she liked the name and the next time I saw Mel she warned me against using it cuz of her association with Spencer Pratt (a lame person famous for being famous & married to Heidi Montag). Thankfully by then, Spencer was mostly off the table as a choice as far as I was concerned. We liked it, but it wasn't a LOVE choice.
So I went into the hospital thinking Zac, possibly Zac Evan cuz then his initials would be ZEN. Some of the other names I liked (though not necessarily liked by Tyler) were Zen, Zander/Xander, Phoenix, Heath, Evander...that's all I can remember. I'm "releasing" the names now as I'm sure we'll change our minds about what we like by baby #2 IF there is a baby #2.
After the GRUELLING process of giving birth, we looked at baby boy and I was like okay, I don't think he's a Zac LOL But as for which name he looked or felt like from our list, I was at a loss. I though he could easily be any of these names we like...So now what do we do? I really wanted a name to announce his arrival so I was like well let's just go with Dexter as it was the strongest contender for the longest time and it was a name we both liked & agreed upon. I knew there would be people who didn't like it (as with any name), but honestly I didn't really care :-D I'm not sure what time it was when we decided on the first name, but it was a little while, like maybe an hour? We had the name by the time I had company in the room but was still in the delivery room. SIDENOTE: that was creepy by the way. There were bloodstains on the floor from me and I have company in the room? So my blood is just getting all up on their shoes? Just felt really personally violating or something.
As for his middle name, that took a while longer. Again, we weren't sure what to go with. Tyler mentioned out loud the name REID and it got a positive response from the room. We had to decide when I was filling out the paperwork to the leave the hospital, 24 hours later, and that's when we went with Reid. The spelling is my preference, Tyler would have went with REED, but I like the 'ei' better. Plus, in Grimshaw there is a family of Reid's and though I have no positive association with the name, that's just what seems "correct" for me.
After announcing Dexter Reid to the world, my brother insists that we got the name from the TV show, Dexter's Labortory. Which I don't think I had even thought of.
And my Grandma Johnson informed me that my FarmVille game was lacking as I didn't know that Dexter was a name for a breed of cattle! Apparently my experience at AFSC was lacking as well ha ha It does make Dexter's cowprint outfit more appropriate thought. All that considered, we are happy with Dexter's name and he seems to be growing into it.
Tyler & I were looking for the holy grail of names, a name that isn't extremely common, but that isn't weird either. We were also desperately avoiding names that ended in "N" and names that started with "C, T & K". So one day while driving in the car together (I cannot remember where we were going, but I feel like we were heading North on Highway 2), we were listening to Tyler's Ipod when an Offspring song came on. The lead singer of the Offspring's name is Dexter, which Tyler thought of while listening to the song & said to me "How about Dexter?" I was pretty used to hating or disliking everything I heard so it gave me pause and I was like "I don't hate it!" Then I thought more about how it worked on two levels as I also liked the TV show and the Offspring. And it really fit the criteria we had set up for a name...so we decided to keep the name to ourselves and put it on our short list.
Then while watching a TV show called "Criminal Minds" I decided I liked the name Spencer Reid, which is one of the characters, I both liked the names individually & together. Tyler liked them also so they were both added to our short list, Spencer for a first name & Reid more likely for a middle name . Our plan was to brainstorm names we really liked and then wait til baby boy was born and see if one name suited him particularily.
Over time, Dexter was still towards the forefront for names but I began to really like 'Zac'. The problem with Zac though is that I felt it was pretty popular. Also, Tyler didn't like it. But with Spencer & Dexter being the two names vying for 1st, I wanted an option that didn't end in 'er'. Over the last few months I really felt like baby wasn't a Spencer or Dexter but a Zac. It probably didn't hurt that I had a crush on 'Zac Efron' after watching '17 Again'.
My mom was really grilling me for names one day on the phone, so I said, to give her an idea of the "kind of names" we liked, that Spencer was one (at this point, really thinking that we probably wouldn't go with Spencer). One of our things was that we didn't want anyone to know our name beforehand. The reasons behind this became clear when my mom told Vanessa about 'spencer' who then told Melody. Vanessa called me up to tell me she liked the name and the next time I saw Mel she warned me against using it cuz of her association with Spencer Pratt (a lame person famous for being famous & married to Heidi Montag). Thankfully by then, Spencer was mostly off the table as a choice as far as I was concerned. We liked it, but it wasn't a LOVE choice.
So I went into the hospital thinking Zac, possibly Zac Evan cuz then his initials would be ZEN. Some of the other names I liked (though not necessarily liked by Tyler) were Zen, Zander/Xander, Phoenix, Heath, Evander...that's all I can remember. I'm "releasing" the names now as I'm sure we'll change our minds about what we like by baby #2 IF there is a baby #2.
After the GRUELLING process of giving birth, we looked at baby boy and I was like okay, I don't think he's a Zac LOL But as for which name he looked or felt like from our list, I was at a loss. I though he could easily be any of these names we like...So now what do we do? I really wanted a name to announce his arrival so I was like well let's just go with Dexter as it was the strongest contender for the longest time and it was a name we both liked & agreed upon. I knew there would be people who didn't like it (as with any name), but honestly I didn't really care :-D I'm not sure what time it was when we decided on the first name, but it was a little while, like maybe an hour? We had the name by the time I had company in the room but was still in the delivery room. SIDENOTE: that was creepy by the way. There were bloodstains on the floor from me and I have company in the room? So my blood is just getting all up on their shoes? Just felt really personally violating or something.
As for his middle name, that took a while longer. Again, we weren't sure what to go with. Tyler mentioned out loud the name REID and it got a positive response from the room. We had to decide when I was filling out the paperwork to the leave the hospital, 24 hours later, and that's when we went with Reid. The spelling is my preference, Tyler would have went with REED, but I like the 'ei' better. Plus, in Grimshaw there is a family of Reid's and though I have no positive association with the name, that's just what seems "correct" for me.
After announcing Dexter Reid to the world, my brother insists that we got the name from the TV show, Dexter's Labortory. Which I don't think I had even thought of.
And my Grandma Johnson informed me that my FarmVille game was lacking as I didn't know that Dexter was a name for a breed of cattle! Apparently my experience at AFSC was lacking as well ha ha It does make Dexter's cowprint outfit more appropriate thought. All that considered, we are happy with Dexter's name and he seems to be growing into it.
Cosmic Coincidence?
My name, Crystal, which is slightly common in the early 80's was inspired by a character named Krystle from a popular show then. I can never remember if it is 'Dynasty' or 'Dallas' so late last night I was looking up the shows on www.imdb.com (a super great website that has tons of info for movies/tv shows). So as I looked up 'Dynasty' (which is where my name is from) I happened to notice a few lines down that there is a character on the same show named 'Dex Dexter'. How cool is that? Further investigation on the page showed characters also by the names of Charles & Dominique (which we spell Dominic) but sadly there were no Tyler's. If there were, that would be the coolest thing ever :-)
I've added pictures of the characters, Krystle Carrington & Dex Dexter. So eighties LOL
I've added pictures of the characters, Krystle Carrington & Dex Dexter. So eighties LOL
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Co-Sleeping
It happened by accident. Originally we intended for Dexter to sleep in his bassinette (borrowed from Shelley & Scott) and then he could transition to his crib. Apparently Dexter had his own agenda & for whatever reason wouldn't stay sleeping in the bassinette. Shortly after laying him down, sometimes up to 10 minutes later, he'd wake up crying and I'd have to pick him up. So I'd bring him into bed to nurse him and sometimes I just fell asleep (I found out that there is a chemical released when you are nursing which helps babies sleep but can make mommies fall asleep too!).
During the day was a different story. I could feed him, he'd usually fall asleep, and then I'd transfer him to his swing to lull him into a deep sleep (as per one of my baby advice books). He'd usually sleep for 1 1/2 - 2 hour stretches during the day in the swing. And if I kept him in our bed during the night, he's sleep for 3 - 4 hour stretches, and stay satisfied in bed with me for like 10-12 hours. Since I was nursing it was SO much easier to roll over when he fussed, pop a boob in (for lack of better word usage) and then fall back asleep.
By doing this I was/am getting all the sleep I need during the night. I'm waking up feeling as refreshed as I ever did - as I'm so not a morning person. The one thing that bothered me about the whole situation is how much guilt I'd have telling other people. It's such a common question to be asked "does your baby sleep through the night?" and I never knew quite how to answer it. For one, he didn't sleep straight through, but really he'd just feed for a few minutes then fall asleep. It wasn't as though he was UP for any long period of time...so was that sleeping through the night? Plus I have gotten so automated at feeding him while co-sleeping that I am/was barely able to remember how many times or at what times he had awoken. So I'd kind of shrug & sheepishly say "well, we're co-sleeping...so he basically does". And then wait for them to judge me. Mostly people would just say "oh yeah that is so much nicer when you can do that" & "oh i totally did too" but occasionally I'd get a well meaning person telling me how I was creating such a bad habit and I'd really regret it.
What I'm really coming to realize as I grow as a Mom, is how true the following advice is:
"It's only a problem, if it's a problem." In other words, unless something is not working for you, it's not really a problem no matter which advice-giver of the moment thinks it is. And also that no matter how much you plan or predetermine how you are going to do things, sometimes your opinions change or your values change and you adapt your life as you go along.
In addition to getting better sleep for myself, I believe that Dexter has great sleep too. Some books even suggest that since their needs are met with such a quick response, that babies who co-sleep will grow up to feel very self-assured and confident in your support. Other benefits that I've found is that I feel very connected and have more bonding time with Dexter. And good or bad, he sleeps on my schedule pretty much going to bed when I do & waking up when I do. So if I need a little extra sleep in time (cuz I stayed up reading longer than I should have), he's pretty accommodating.
It's not 100% peachy though. For instance, it doesn't do much for my romantic life with Tyler and it kind of cuts in with Tyler & I time. I also think that since I get so much cuddling in with Dexter that I don't crave it as much from Tyler. It's pretty easy to do now with Tyler gone 4-5 nights a week, but once he's home every night, it won't be so much fun. I also have a lot more stiff muscles and achy bones as I can't move around much in bed once we're settled and I have to be aware of where Dex is sleeping. Plus I am really dreading the point at which we do transition to Dexter sleeping in his crib. As he nears his 5 month birthday, I shake my head as I had hoped to get him out of our bed before he was fully 3 months. But it's just so convenient and if I'm honest, I enjoy it. But a time will come, probably sooner than later, when he needs his independence & his own bed. Plus he has such a lovely room, it's a shame he's not using it :-)
During the day was a different story. I could feed him, he'd usually fall asleep, and then I'd transfer him to his swing to lull him into a deep sleep (as per one of my baby advice books). He'd usually sleep for 1 1/2 - 2 hour stretches during the day in the swing. And if I kept him in our bed during the night, he's sleep for 3 - 4 hour stretches, and stay satisfied in bed with me for like 10-12 hours. Since I was nursing it was SO much easier to roll over when he fussed, pop a boob in (for lack of better word usage) and then fall back asleep.
By doing this I was/am getting all the sleep I need during the night. I'm waking up feeling as refreshed as I ever did - as I'm so not a morning person. The one thing that bothered me about the whole situation is how much guilt I'd have telling other people. It's such a common question to be asked "does your baby sleep through the night?" and I never knew quite how to answer it. For one, he didn't sleep straight through, but really he'd just feed for a few minutes then fall asleep. It wasn't as though he was UP for any long period of time...so was that sleeping through the night? Plus I have gotten so automated at feeding him while co-sleeping that I am/was barely able to remember how many times or at what times he had awoken. So I'd kind of shrug & sheepishly say "well, we're co-sleeping...so he basically does". And then wait for them to judge me. Mostly people would just say "oh yeah that is so much nicer when you can do that" & "oh i totally did too" but occasionally I'd get a well meaning person telling me how I was creating such a bad habit and I'd really regret it.
What I'm really coming to realize as I grow as a Mom, is how true the following advice is:
"It's only a problem, if it's a problem." In other words, unless something is not working for you, it's not really a problem no matter which advice-giver of the moment thinks it is. And also that no matter how much you plan or predetermine how you are going to do things, sometimes your opinions change or your values change and you adapt your life as you go along.
In addition to getting better sleep for myself, I believe that Dexter has great sleep too. Some books even suggest that since their needs are met with such a quick response, that babies who co-sleep will grow up to feel very self-assured and confident in your support. Other benefits that I've found is that I feel very connected and have more bonding time with Dexter. And good or bad, he sleeps on my schedule pretty much going to bed when I do & waking up when I do. So if I need a little extra sleep in time (cuz I stayed up reading longer than I should have), he's pretty accommodating.
It's not 100% peachy though. For instance, it doesn't do much for my romantic life with Tyler and it kind of cuts in with Tyler & I time. I also think that since I get so much cuddling in with Dexter that I don't crave it as much from Tyler. It's pretty easy to do now with Tyler gone 4-5 nights a week, but once he's home every night, it won't be so much fun. I also have a lot more stiff muscles and achy bones as I can't move around much in bed once we're settled and I have to be aware of where Dex is sleeping. Plus I am really dreading the point at which we do transition to Dexter sleeping in his crib. As he nears his 5 month birthday, I shake my head as I had hoped to get him out of our bed before he was fully 3 months. But it's just so convenient and if I'm honest, I enjoy it. But a time will come, probably sooner than later, when he needs his independence & his own bed. Plus he has such a lovely room, it's a shame he's not using it :-)
Friday, February 12, 2010
Leduc Update
I started writing this on Monday...then Tuesday...and now here we are on Friday with my third attempt LOL Tyler, Dexter & I went to Leduc on Sunday and looked around. We had made appointments to look at two houses on the market and then we went to a couple showhomes for builders in the area.
We started with the showhomes, the first one being Jayman builders. With it being Superbowl Sunday it was very quiet so we had the saleswoman's full attention (good & bad). Price wise, are comfort level is to buy for $300,000 or less and we want to try to get at the least, a home that is equivilent to ours. Equivilent being 3 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms & 1500 square feet. If we build new, we'll have to have a two storey than so I also want a main floor laundry. Jayman's lowest plans were starting at $296,000 and that's with all the basics (carpet/lino). We also couldn't make any custom changes so basically we'd be stuck with whatever the spec floor plan was. Jayman does have a pretty good reputation and they boost lots of 'built green' features but they are at the top of our budget and give us the least choice.
The next place we went to was B&H Homes. Their showhome was a split level, which Tyler & I personally don't like much, but they had a beautiful kitchen and hardwood floors. We found out that their base price includes hardwood for the living spaces (carpet for bedrooms) which is a great bonus. I told the saleswoman what we were looking for & she passed me a floor plan for 1457 square feet in a two story. It had a main floor laundry, an open kitchen, dining room, living room space and the ensuite we were looking for and the base price was starting at $267,000. Then we asked if we can custom the house and she said yes. The base plan was very close to what we would want but there is also about $30,000 room for us to get some more of our upgrades we are looking for (dual vanities in the ensuite, full height cupboards in the kitchen, rough in for central vac, and maybe even partially finishing the basement). As an added bonus, the cupboards were maple which is an upgrade from the oak we currently have. So B&H was way ahead of the building race.
We went to another show home & they had a minimum 1900 square feet for their homes with attached garages...starting at $380,000. Way out of our comfort zone for this point in our lives.
Then we met Cynthia, a friend of my family and a realtor. She took us to the two houses we wanted to look at. The first was okay, but was smaller than ours and didn't have as nice of finishes (a.k.a. was built cheaper). And it didn't have the nice open floor plan on the main floor that we like. The second house was again smaller, didn't have an ensuite upstairs, and had carpet through the entire upstairs. This house move we have decided that we are going to have all laminate/hardwood/lino but absolutely no carpet as it just doesn't keep with our pets. Both houses were about $290 or 299,900 so again very close to the top of our budget but needing upgrades.
So the verdict is that we like Leduc. It seemed to have the amenities we're looking for (Walmart Super Center, Safeway, some restaurants, an indoor & outdoor pool, recently renovated rec center), a smaller size community but with Edmonton a reasonable distance away if we really wanted to eat at the Olive Garden or hit a nicer movie theatre.
We are very much leaning towards building again as we have a better chance of getting what we want for our money. However, Cynthia suggested that B&H Homes might not have the best reputation so we still have some researching to do. It's also possible that we may not be able to start the building process until we sell this house money wise so that delays what we can do. Building will take about 6-8 months so we would have to rent somewhere or couch surf in the interim which we are okay with. If we do have to wait until we sell, then we might just keep looking at houses on the market in case something comes up that we would be happy with and make a decision when we need to. If we can get started building, then we might just go ahead with that plan.
As for selling, well so far we haven't had any viewers. Red Deer's market is a little bit slow at the moment, but I'm confident that it'll just take someone coming to see our house for them to like it! I'm not sure if the pictures aren't doing it justice or what's going on...maybe we just need to positive think!
If you haven't looked yet, check out our listing at www.mls.ca and our number is CA299208!
We started with the showhomes, the first one being Jayman builders. With it being Superbowl Sunday it was very quiet so we had the saleswoman's full attention (good & bad). Price wise, are comfort level is to buy for $300,000 or less and we want to try to get at the least, a home that is equivilent to ours. Equivilent being 3 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms & 1500 square feet. If we build new, we'll have to have a two storey than so I also want a main floor laundry. Jayman's lowest plans were starting at $296,000 and that's with all the basics (carpet/lino). We also couldn't make any custom changes so basically we'd be stuck with whatever the spec floor plan was. Jayman does have a pretty good reputation and they boost lots of 'built green' features but they are at the top of our budget and give us the least choice.
The next place we went to was B&H Homes. Their showhome was a split level, which Tyler & I personally don't like much, but they had a beautiful kitchen and hardwood floors. We found out that their base price includes hardwood for the living spaces (carpet for bedrooms) which is a great bonus. I told the saleswoman what we were looking for & she passed me a floor plan for 1457 square feet in a two story. It had a main floor laundry, an open kitchen, dining room, living room space and the ensuite we were looking for and the base price was starting at $267,000. Then we asked if we can custom the house and she said yes. The base plan was very close to what we would want but there is also about $30,000 room for us to get some more of our upgrades we are looking for (dual vanities in the ensuite, full height cupboards in the kitchen, rough in for central vac, and maybe even partially finishing the basement). As an added bonus, the cupboards were maple which is an upgrade from the oak we currently have. So B&H was way ahead of the building race.
We went to another show home & they had a minimum 1900 square feet for their homes with attached garages...starting at $380,000. Way out of our comfort zone for this point in our lives.
Then we met Cynthia, a friend of my family and a realtor. She took us to the two houses we wanted to look at. The first was okay, but was smaller than ours and didn't have as nice of finishes (a.k.a. was built cheaper). And it didn't have the nice open floor plan on the main floor that we like. The second house was again smaller, didn't have an ensuite upstairs, and had carpet through the entire upstairs. This house move we have decided that we are going to have all laminate/hardwood/lino but absolutely no carpet as it just doesn't keep with our pets. Both houses were about $290 or 299,900 so again very close to the top of our budget but needing upgrades.
So the verdict is that we like Leduc. It seemed to have the amenities we're looking for (Walmart Super Center, Safeway, some restaurants, an indoor & outdoor pool, recently renovated rec center), a smaller size community but with Edmonton a reasonable distance away if we really wanted to eat at the Olive Garden or hit a nicer movie theatre.
We are very much leaning towards building again as we have a better chance of getting what we want for our money. However, Cynthia suggested that B&H Homes might not have the best reputation so we still have some researching to do. It's also possible that we may not be able to start the building process until we sell this house money wise so that delays what we can do. Building will take about 6-8 months so we would have to rent somewhere or couch surf in the interim which we are okay with. If we do have to wait until we sell, then we might just keep looking at houses on the market in case something comes up that we would be happy with and make a decision when we need to. If we can get started building, then we might just go ahead with that plan.
As for selling, well so far we haven't had any viewers. Red Deer's market is a little bit slow at the moment, but I'm confident that it'll just take someone coming to see our house for them to like it! I'm not sure if the pictures aren't doing it justice or what's going on...maybe we just need to positive think!
If you haven't looked yet, check out our listing at www.mls.ca and our number is CA299208!
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