Life...

Well I haven't randomly blogged in a while so please be patient through what will likely be lots of disconjointed ramblings LOL

On June 23rd I called my little brother to wish him a "Happy Birthday" for his 19th. He was groggy even at 11AM, ha ha but we chatted a wee bit and he told me he was dating a new girl & her name was Crystal - a little weird as that's my name :-) but whatever. Then I teased him and said "well does this girl at least not have a baby?" And he's like, "nah, she has a 4 year old, Blake." Which makes me shake my head cuz 19 is pretty young to take on the responsibilities of a child and would normally scare a guy away but it doesn't phase my brother. In fact I think he enjoys it. Oh & p.s. the girl is about 22 or 23 I think.

So on that particular weekend that I called him, it was also the first weekend we were spending time with Tyler's family since we found out Tyrone & Kim were splitting up. Some background on that in case you don't know:

-Tyrone (born '78) & Kim (born '71) then started dating approximately in September of 2005.

-In December of 2005 they announced they were pregnant & due in August. While it's exciting to have a baby joining the family I didn't really approve of them having a kid together when they'd only been dating for like a few months, and I really didn't approve when Kim told me (the first night we met) that they planned the pregnancy in the way that they both chose to use no protection. And I really didn't think they should get married (although my father-in-law of course does) as having a baby is no excuse for marriage in this day & age. Especially since I haven't seen Tyrone with a girlfriend in the five years before that.

-Kim is an interesting mixture of enigma (like really what does she see in Tyrone), fun (hey it's someone on my side against the in-laws & a little bit like having an older sister) and irritating. Though I have to admit that she took the edge off of having Tyrone around (if you don't know my history with him that's a much longer story that you'll have to ask for).

-They move in together and it's fighting from day one. Tyrone is very condescing, stubborn, lazy & well stupid. Kim, while older, is slightly subservant, mothering, but also not so bright sometimes and quite immature for her age (currently 35). So perfect ingredients for dysfunction.

-Tyrone starting making comments to Kim that when she was on mat leave she'd better have the house clean everyday & have dinner ready for him when he got home (coming from the guy who makes less money then his girlfriend).

-Kim, in her stupidity, would enable Tyrone's behavior by sleeping in a seperate room so he wouldn't have to get up in the middle of the night. Have Kira bathed, changed, & fed for when Tyrone got home so all he'd have to do was cuddle her, read her books, stuff like that. Which he allegedly didn't even do most of the time cuz he was too busy playing computer games & online poker (another bone of contention).

-When Kira's birth arrived Kim's mom came to stay for a few weeks to help out. Tyrone & Kim's mom got into a fight(s?) which strained the relationship between Kim & her mom as well. The mom, quite correctly, pointed out Tyrone's emotionally abusive behavior and many faults (no education, broke, no ambition, lazy, pipe dreamer, etc). Kim was/is in denial about Tyrone's negatives so she isolates herself from her mother (who lives in Saskatchewan while K&T live in Calgary).

-Through the relationship ups & downs Tyrone called his mommy to complain about all the things Kim wasn't doing adequetely and claims that his mommy agreed with his side of things (yep mommy does enable him too) which doesn't help the relationship.

-Eventually Tyrone discovers "the Secret" a philosophy that says if we put positives out there & be greatful for what we have in live & act as though we have the things we want the universe will provide it for us. He incorrectly interprets this as "Kim & Kira are annoying so they are creating negatives in my environment so I should ditch them so I can win millions at poker. Oh & Kim is too fat for me to find sexually attractive." I have issues with this statements.

1) I'm sure ditching your girlfriend & baby is not what the Secret meant by creating a positive atmosphere, in fact I think it's the exact oppositve.
2)Tyrone is never going to win millions at poker because there are MANY MANY better players than him who don't even win everytime and any idiot can read the same books & DVDs he does that he seems to think give him a "leg up" on the competetion. Plus there are three elements to poker: luck (which you can't control), inherent skill (that you can't learn you have to have it in you as an instinct), and then the skills you can learn. So basically he's batting 1/3.
3) I don't believe that the pursuit of money is more important than family.
4) I firmly believe that if you choose to bring a child into this world it is your damn job to make sure they have the best life possible.
5) Kim is no bigger than she was when he met her & she's not that big & he is way more fat (& truly disgusting) than she'll ever be.

-After they officially break up in June & become single they still continued to live together until the weekend of September 15th. They didn't treat each other very nicely during this time & I'm not sure of their sexual relationship during these months but I'd bet that it existed somewhat which isn't healthy. And if it were me & my boyfriend pulled this stunt he'd be out on his ass immediately.

-Tyrone is now whining about having to pay child support or even taking any responsiblity for his child's life whatsoever. He hoards the fact that he "gives" Kim money over her head which is disgusting. He also doesn't seem that interested in making his house livable for her to come visit and has made such comments as "I won't have her that often" [to which Kim responded, yeah every other weekend] and alluded to the fact that he didn't need a crib cuz his 1yr old could sleep whereever (like the floor).

-Kim flip flops between bitching about Tyrone's behavior & exposing what he say and being upset about their breakup and wanting to be back with him. Again, stupidity.

-Kim has since spent a weekend at Tyrone's mom's with Kira without Tyrone which is good, but weird.

-Kim came up with Tyrone for Thankgiving weekend allegedly cuz our step-mother-in-law complained about having to watch Kira but I think she just likes to feel needed. But again, she takes the edge off Tyrone so I don't mind that much.

-Kim was still breastfeeding up until a few weeks ago when Kira was about 13 months old which freaks me out (personally) as Kira appears a lot older than she actually is.

P.S. I love Kira but am worried about her future as her gene pool is limited and her parental environment isn't always healthy. Hopefully Kim doesn't go psycho and play the old guilt & manipulation onto Kira.

What I find extra upsetting was that my brother, who is 19, is fully willing to date a girl and help raise her 4 year old son from another guy with no qualms while Tyler's brother who is 29 is unwilling to take full responsibility for his very own child. This both amazes me with my brother & sickens me with my brother-in-law.

More to come...LUNCH BREAK!