More to Life...

Back from lunch...my ramblings continue.

So I went to visit my brother (and aunt & uncle & grandma) who live in Medicine Hat & area on the September long weekend. I also got to meet the girlfriend Crystal and boy Blake. It's funny cuz Blake actually looks like my brother, Cody. Both are tall, very slim, naturally tanned, and golden brown hair. Similar facial features too. So if he chooses to make a life with this girl they could certainly come across as a whole, "natural" family. Oh by the way, at this point they have moved in together into a trailer they have boughten with some "settlement" money Crystal is getting for some sort of accident (& she is taking painkillers for some sort of injury I couldn't see). SIDEBAR: When I say trailer, I do NOT mean modular home, I mean trailer in a trailer part that is kind of rough. But kudos to them for investing their money into real estate they can afford. And my brother, so cute, has been "fixing" it up with tiled counters and other fix ups. Crystal was nice to me and everything but she struck me as a little immature (very common you might have noticed) and I didn't like the way she talked to her son. I describe it as "big sis" talk versus "mother" talk. Things like "don't be a bonehead" came out of her mouth. To me a mother is suppose to be a child's safeguard no matter what & if she is calling him a bonehead (as tame as that may sound) it can't be good. Plus my aunt reported that Crystal doesn't really seem to have Blake that often, he's usually with his dad or his grandma and was generally very condescending when she talks to Blake or Cody. So I didn't have the best impression of her.

Hmm, one more thing you should know about my brother. There's sort of a big age difference between us (6 years) and I often had to babysit him & he was, well a psycho. Very bratty, always getting into trouble, very hyperactive, etc. Probably around the time I moved away to college he started smoking pot. While I don't advocate or generally approve of drug use, I will say that it has mellowed my brother out. He is much more calm and easier to get a long with than before. Though still very much anti-authority. So during my visit, on the day I was leaving my brother arrives at my Aunt's house (where I'm staying) in Crystal's car, no Crystal. Which is extra interesting cuz my brother doesn't have a licensce or even a learner's (pot might have mellowed him too out cuz he doesn't have the ambition to go get the learner's). When I asked him "what's up" he said that he had gotten into a big fight with Crystal and only elaborated to say that she was a bitch and condescending. The was the most pissed off I've seen him in a while (granted I don't see him that often). She called while he was there but he made me lie and say I hadn't seen him. As he was leaving (to go drink at a buddy's house) he mumbled something along the lines of "a lot of trouble to go to when it's not even my kid." Then asked me to call him when I was leaving so he could come say goodbye.

Probably about 4 or 5 hours later Tyler & I decided we were leaving so I called Crystal's cell phone (Cody currently doesn't have one & they don't have a land line) to tell Cody I was leaving. Crystal answered, obviously crying and said she hadn't seen him yet and was upset about it (and probably about not having her vehicle I would imagine) and that he must be pretty mad at her. I left thinking this felt like a break up fight and wondered how long they'd stay together. I started trying to think up "good girls" that I could set my brother up with that could lead him to the right path (no not religiously) and not be lead astray by him. This was Sunday.

Thursday night my dad called me, fairly late, and said to me in a voice "So, how are you?" The tone he used is one I'm used to when something is wrong. So I'm like "what's up?" He's like "well we got some news yesterday". I said "good or bad"? He says "Depends on your viewpoint I guess." I'm like "okay what is it?" He says "Guess." So I say "Cody's girlfriend's pregnant." He laughs, "yep you nailed that one on the head." So I asked if Cody was happy about it and my dad said he was. So we all agreed that although it wasn't the best situation if he's happy that's all that matters. But I was really leary of the whole thing as only 3 days before they were in a huge fight & now suddenly she's pregnant. So they say her due date is sometime in April. I have to admit I was a little excited cuz I will be an aunt through blood, not just an aunt in law & I wondered if it would feel different. I wonder if it'll feel different when my sister has a baby versus my brother as well. But it felt really weird to think that my mom & dad will now be grandparents, and not only that but it's not me making them grandparents. I've always joked that Cody & Calli would have kids before me (as I have a more structured lifestyle and am more anal about planning my life while they have always been "rebellious" and free-spirited) but I never really believed it. My mom is a little in negative shock as she is only 41 and doesn't wish that kind of responsiblity onto my brother that she had to deal with when she had me at 16.

I called my brother to congratulate him & he did seem happy about it and gave me permission to tell whomever I wanted to (which obviously makes me happy as I love to spread news) but my mom didn't want me to tell anyone until we "see what happens" whatever that means.

A couple weeks later I'm talking to my mom & I asked her how Cody was doing. She said good & that they were going for an ultra sound for baby that week (which seemed odd as it was still early in the pregnancy) and then said the baby was now due in May which lit many warning bells for me. I'm like, May? Does that even work?

So I googled conception calendar to see if I could find out how far along she'd have to be to be due in May (not nowing if it was May 1st, 31st or somewhere in between).
Here's what I found:

Source: http://www.pregnancy.org/pregnancycalendar/

So based an a range of May 1 to May 31 & assuming a 28 day menstral cycle (who knows?) her conception date would have to be between Aug 7 - Sep 6. Meaning that the day my brother told my dad (Sep 5) she was at the most 4 weeks pregnant & at the least not pregnant at all. So this indicates to me a few possible scenarios:

1. She got pregnant on purpose so knew to keep taking the tests until she was positive. A lot of people don't know there are pregnant right away. And a lot of people who have already had 1 accidental pregnancy (like her first) say that it's impossible to have 2 accidental pregnancies cuz you "fricken know better" LOL.

2. She's not really pregnant but is faking it to "save" the relationship.

3. She's one of the rare people that really do know early & went to the doctor, or wasn't feeling well & went to the doctor. It should be noted that she has had a kid before so she probably would remain what it felt like to be pregnant.

I should also say that while I suspect her of being manipulative enough to get pregnant on purpose or fake a pregnancy she doesn't strike me as the type to be screwing around. So if she really is pregnant & a baby happens I will love him/her with all my heart. While I don't have much faith for the future of the couple (my bro & crystal) I do think my brother will be an excellent dad as he's always been really good with kids and has always wanted to be married & have kids.

But another thing that this particular situation has started is it makes me a wee bit jealous that he's having baby before me and makes me wonder what I'm waiting for. I've always wanted kids: never questioned whether or not I'd have them, I've just questioned my ability to handle it at this given time and questioned whether my relationship with Tyler is strong enough to handle the added stress of children.

More on this pondering in my next blog article...