So logically I know that the following experience isn't that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things...but emotional it is!
My Ultrasound Appointment Today:
So I have been counting down the sleeps to my ultrasound like a kid does for their birthday or Christmas morning. In fact, when I went to bed last night & awoke this morning it felt like Christmas! I couldn't wait until appointment when at last the mystery of boy or girl could be determined and I could finally do the things I've been waiting to do. I've been putting off looking at baby names until we could focus on one gender. I've been putting off any room decorating plans until I know which colors & schemes would be more suitable. I even thought I would be able to bond better with a little being once I knew if it was a baby boy or a baby girl. It would be one more piece of the puzzle to what kind of baby we were going to have.
The beauty of finding out this info was/is that there is no wrong answer! Yes I am leaning more towards boy but girl is still good too. I just want to know so that I can move forward with my plans and everything.
So I made sure that I drank my water this morning. And I even drank a OJ juice box because I heard it helped increase baby's activity so that you were more likely to see the appropriate parts. Then I went to CAMIS (the place that looks like a ski chalet) where my appointment was at for my 12:45pm appointment. The lady at the desk asked me if it was my first ultrasound there and I said basically yes so she gave me a laminiated card to look over. The card had a couple blurbs on it that basically said that they understand that you're excited but that they need to do their medical stuff first and then hopefully they can tell you the sex if you so wish to know. Then a woman called out my name and I got up to follow her and handed her the card (so she should know that it was my first time). She pointed me to a curtained change room & told me to put on the gown and leave on my undergarments. I didn't understand the need to be naked, so I asked if I was suppose to take off my top only or pants too? And she responded with a frosty "Undergarments on ONLY". So that was a great start.
So I got on my nice hospital gown opening to the back, and noted to self to consider not wearing a thong next time and to possibly shave my legs. She came back to get me and again in her abrupt tone told me to grab my purse (so I assumed to leave my clothes there), then to put my purse on the chair in the room and to lay back on the bed. She asked if this was my first pregnancy & I said "well i had a miscarriage before..." she asked "how far along" i said "early, less than 4 weeks". Then she said "so your first ulrasound told you your due date?" and I said "well that & my period dates". Then without anymore talking she squirted the (thankfully warmed) gel onto my pelvis area and went to town with the monitor, making sure to move it so I couldn't see a thing. About 10 minutes went by without her speaking to me when I asked "so what are you looking for at this ultrasound" to which she responded "anatomy". Okay, cranky one for sure I thought. Then after a minute or two she elborated to say something which i don't remember about the different parts all of which fall under anatomy within about 30 seconds. Then silence again.
Then some more time went by, and then she asked me to move onto my right side so she could get a different look. I asked if baby was being difficult and she said "yes" and I said that wasn't anything new. More silence. Then she asked me to move back to my back. Then she asked my husband's name to which I said Tyler and wondered why she had asked me that. She asked me if I needed to pee and I said it depended on how much longer we were going to be. She said she was all done and was just going to grab my husband to tell us stuff. I said he's not here he's working in Fort Saskatchewan. She was like "oh then I can just show you now then you can go pee". So she spun the monitor over and pointed out baby's head, arms, feet. Okay that wasn't anything new. She referred to baby as a "he" so I asked if she was able to tell the gender then and she responded with "oh, we just call all babies "he". you'll have to tell us at the beginning so if the tech has time they can look for that. so if you come in again you can ask then." and that was it.
she told me to go pee and come back. so i did, and i was trying not to cry with disappoint about not finding anything out - gender...or weigh or length or anything other than my baby has a head & four limbs. when i got back she said 'oh you can just go change cuz we need this room and then i'll come meet you at the changing room. and there are your pictures.' so i put my clothes on & looked at the pictures and they weren't clear or pronounced or really any better than the ones we got from Calgary at 13 weeks. she was taking a while so i went to the front desk to make sure that i was suppose to wait and the front desk lady told me to go back to the change room. i was there for another minute or two when the tech came back and said "yep everything's fine. and IF you come back tell them at the beginning."
so i managed to make it to my car and then i started crying because i had built up this moment so much and here i knew absolutely nothing and it seemed like that was because she was too busy to find out. i had booked this appointment 6 weeks in advance and they were too busy to tell me the one thing i wanted to know. everything i had every read about ultrasounds at this stage basically said that if you DIDN'T want to know to make sure that was clear at the beginning. i wasn't prepared at all for telling her i wanted to know in advance.
I've spent a good long time being upset, and whenever I try to talk about it or think about it I start crying again. It doesn't help that I am a hormonal pregnant lady. At first I wasn't sure if I was allowed to be upset or what but my friend Megan assures me that this was suppose to be my experience as much as it is a medical necessity and that I shouldn't have to leave feeling the way I did. She called the CAMIS on my behalf to put in a complaint about the way it was handled and see if I could re-book an appointment ASAP. Megan was very diplomat about the whole thing for me repeating that we didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings and that we understood they weren't there for our "entertainment" (as they put it) but that it's still a service and that I should have come away at least with a better explanation and a little more info about baby. The lady didn't sound very forthcoming on the phone so I am suppose to call her myself, which I'll do when I am a little less teary eyed about it. I did put in a phone call to my Dr.Phil as she seems like a much more sympathetic individual, hoping that I can get a new ultrasound rec asap and then go to the other place in town that is easier/faster to get into and has a little better bedside manor. I think i will try to do all future business with them as much as possible!
I'll add my new lame ass photos for your judgement...the first one will be my 13 weeks so you can compare.
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