Thursday, December 28, 2006

New Year's Resolutions 2007


1. Continue reading more.

2. Minimize in-laws rants to Tyler.

3. Improve health by:
a) Pursuing fun types of exercise.
b) Minimize junk food eating.
c) Explore stress relief (i.e. mediation, yoga).
d) Getting more sleep (in bed by 11:30pm on weeknights).

4. Get back on track buget-wize & stick to it.

5. Improve puntuality for all events (work, social, etc.).

6. Explore alternative ways to earn money (i.e. via internet, self-employed).

7. Continue being crafty (Scrapbooking, Gift Baskets).

8. Utilize my blog more.

Any suggestions (I know I'm opening Pandora's Box here)?

In-laws or out-laws?


My mom told me that I shouldn’t talk bad about my in-laws in front of my husband, that it might make him uncomfortable. Unfortunately that is really hard to do. So instead I’m going to try to do all my ranting via blog. Enjoy my pain.

So I’m assuming that you’ve read the recent blog of mine “Christmas Holidays.” If you haven’t, go read it. Now.

Welcome back. Oh, I almost forgot a small tid bit that happened right before I left. It was about 30 minutes from the time I was leaving for Edmonton (a pit stop on my journey to Grimshaw). Willie/Larry, Tyler’s dad calls to check on the plans. We confirm that we are having dinner on Monday the 25th. I start to say I bought lots of food, “Potatoes…” he interrupts me “Did you buy any cranberries?” Me: “Oh, no. I don’t eat them so I didn’t think of it. You guys will have to pick some up as I’m leaving right away.” Then I go on to invite him & Kris (the step-mom) to stay over on Christmas Eve so we can all be together that night & first thing in the morning. He declines by saying “no, all our clothes are here so we’d better stay here.” Um, okay. That doesn’t make a whole lot of sense but whatever. Then when I got to Edmonton Tyler informed me that after we hung up, Larry called Tyler and said “All Crystal bought was potatoes & she told me that if I wanted cranberries I better buy them myself”, making me sound all bitchy. I was livid. He’s such a backstabber.

Okay so you know that Tyler & I am leaving Grimshaw on Christmas Eve to come back to spend Christmas with his dad. We arrive at his house at about 6:10pm (supper was suppose to be ready for 6, it’s not ready yet). So we are hanging out in the half torn down house of theirs checking out the improvements (my opinion – they haven’t done that much in 4 months). As I am playing with my niece Willie says he’s saving all the supper dishes (despite the fact that he had nothing to do with making supper) for me to do cuz he’s “never seen me do the dishes a day in my life.” Excuse me, $!@* [insert expletives here]. First off, I always offer to do the dishes EVERY time we have dinner with them. I’ve never seen him do dishes a day in HIS life. It really bugs me, especially since Tyler has that fight with his dad back in May where Larry torn me down the whole time. It’s so disrespectful. So that ruined the rest of my night because Tyler didn’t hear it & I was fuming about it.

I had wanted to leave their place by 9pm because I still had presents to wrap before the next morning and food to take out to thaw. We didn’t get home until 10:30pm. Awesome. We thought Kim, Tyrone and Kira were right behind us but they didn’t show up until about midnight. Which was considerate of them to call and let us know (I was worrying as usual).

The next morning (Christmas Day) we had said that we were opening presents at 10:00am. So at about 8:30am I got up and started to make crepes and bacon for breakfast. Tyrone came down and started to make buttermilk pancakes but whined that we needed more meat like sausage and stuff. I told him I had plenty of appetizers to get through the day so not to worry about it. Tyler wanders downstairs and helps out wherever we need him (setting the table, making juice, etc). Kim sleeps in, then comes down to eat once everything is ready cuz I guess Kira was up all night. Larry and Kris showed up at 9:59am, walking in they say “what, no eggs?” Bastards. It’s amazing I don’t backhand them on instinct. So they insist on cooking up their “free range brown eggs” to eat. Corrections: high maintenance bastards. I point them to the pan and say “go for it”, I’m not delaying my breakfast for them. After we are all done eating we all clean up the kitchen except for Larry & Kris who just sit at the table.

Presents time. We get money from the evil parents but not without an uncalled for rude comment in the card about my “wish list” and the strings that we “better buy something with the money”. Kira (4 months old) had a lot of fun opening her presents and I had fun giving them to her.

So after presents are over Larry tries to recruit me to help with his stuffing, I don’t think so. They said they’d do Turkey/Stuffing/Gravy and we have to do everything else so I’m not pitching in with their stuffing. Tyler, always the sucker, helped him. After they were done, they popped the turkey in the oven then said adios, they had friends to go visit apparently. I’m not really sure why the visit couldn’t have waited until the next day? I mean they made a big deal about wanting to host Christmas Day & then they don’t even spend the day with them…it doesn’t make sense. When they finally came back we made them do the dinner dishes. Ha ha. So now I have seen Larry do the dishes. After dinner we played games (urban myth, piss pot) and had fun. I guess Larry isn’t pure evil, because I do enjoy the card game piss pot which he taught me.

After the games I asked if anyone wanted my dessert: Apple Raspberry Crisp. Kris asked me “did you make it yourself” before answering (she always does that). I lied: sure [no I didn’t some of us aren’t retired thank you very much]. Then, really surprised by the fat that I may have made it myself, she agreed to try some. Then I couldn’t lie so I admitted that I didn’t make it myself, though I did go to great lengths to make it look like I did (i.e. transferred the dessert to one of my casserole dishes)…so that’s my wonderful Christmas with my crappy in-laws.

This weekend we are due to visit Tyler’s mom for her Christmas over the New Year’s Weekend where we are doing fondue. I’m quite partial to the downstairs bedroom as I like the bed, privacy & the separate bathroom down there. Kim tried to “dibs it” at our house claiming some crap about her back, but I pointed out that it’s too cold down there for Kira, Mary smokes in the room right beside it & we had some of our stuff there already. It’ll be interesting to see how that turns out. If it gets ugly I’ll be sure to write a blog about it…until then!

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Silver Lining

Things happen in threes. I’ve been told that a lot and believe it too.

Number One:
A few weeks back, on a Friday, my mother-in-law called us to tell us she wouldn’t be coming to visit that weekend. She lives in Edmonton and she had been T-boned by an old lady who ran a red light. Mary drove a Cavalier from the 90s and this was its second accident so it ended up being a write off.

Number Two:
On Tuesday, my dad calls me at work and says “Your mom’s all right but she was in an accident last night”. As she was going to pick up Calli from her boyfriend, Darren’s house she came across five moose on the highway and couldn’t avoid hitting two of them. It did a lot of damage to her Ford Escape (SUV) but she managed to drive the last 10 minutes or so to Darren’s house to get help. In the end the insurance adjuster said there was $21,000 of damage & so her vehicle was a write off…this picture is her vehicle. My mom went to test drive another Ford Escape and had a bit of a panic attack. So she decided to get a Ford Explorer Sport Trac because it’s bigger and tougher.

Number Three:
My mom calls me on my cell phone last night to tell me that “Your brother’s okay but he’s been in an accident” (I think my parents took the same bad-news seminar). My bro was a passenger in a company truck that ended up rear ending a semi who was stopped on the highway. The truck is in pretty bad shape (again I believe a write off), and my bro had to climb out the front windshield to get out. I guess both guys (drive & Cody) have some bumps, bruises, soreness etc but are all right. Not too mention quite shook up. It turns out my brother wasn’t wearing a seatbelt but was lucky enough to look up and brace himself for the accident. My mom said if he doesn’t start wearing a seatbelt she’ll kill him herself!

So I just wanted to write this blog to be thankful that although my family members have gotten into some scary accidents that the vehicles suffered the most damage & not them. Wishing everyone (including myself) safe journeys this holiday season.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Christmas Holidays



Christmas, ah, a magical time of year…if you’re not married that is!

Christmas day with my family is great (I may be bias): we have stockings and tons of thoughtful presents. My Mom always goes overboard with presents. My siblings are younger still (Calli - 16 & Cody - 18 now) so we still have a bit of that excitement Christmas morning…

Our old tradition was that us kids got up super early. We’d rip into our stockings to see what treasures they’d hold. Next we’d try to wake up Mom & Dad who would insist that we make them coffee first and deliver it to them in their beds (in the wisdom of my older years I see this was a cleverly crafted delay strategy to get them more sleep). As my brother and sister worked on convincing them it was time to wake up, I’d sort the presents into piles so that we could all sit back and open presents one by one. I know that some families watch each member open each present but that would take too long in my family! My Mom & Dad did sit back and watch us before they opened there’s. Someone usually got a movie for Christmas so after we open the presents we’d pop one in and then start tinkering with our stuff. When I was in school I usually ended up calling a friend or two in the morning and we’d discuss what we got as my parents would start cleaning up the wrapping and making something for breakfast (nothing too fancy).

My first Christmas with Tyler’s family was actually sad. I didn’t think that it would matter cuz I said that Christmas was just a day, and you could celebrate it whenever you wanted. However, Mary (Tyler’s mom) ended up staying over at her boyfriend’s house so we had to wait for her to show up before we could open our presents Christmas morning. And there were no stockings to hold us over. If I remember correctly it was near noon before that happened. Quite the contrast to my early morning ritual with the Johnson Family. I called my family while I was waiting for Mary and I had to hold back tears when I heard how much fun everyone was having without me back in Grimshaw.

My husband has parents that are divorced so we have the added challenge of trying to accommodate three sets of parents instead of the normal two. And Tyler’s parents seem to think they are the only ones: for many years now Tyler’s Mom Mary and Dad Larry (but he likes to pretend his name is Willie) took turns on whose year it was to see the boys on Christmas day, and they seem to think that rotation should continue, but where do my parents fit in? Sometimes his family is so selfish.

Last year was our first year in our new house that we had built & was officially in our names (no more renting). We wanted to host all the families at our house. Tyler’s Dad and new wife didn’t want to come over on Christmas Day is Mary was going to be there (& they’ve been divorced since Tyler was three), so we did the Red Deer Buffet on Christmas Eve with them. For Christmas Day we had my parents, my brother & his girlfriend, my sister, my aunt & uncle, my 2 cousins, their ferret, Tyler’s Mom & her boyfriend, Tyler’s brother Tyrone & his pregnant girlfriend, my 2 dogs, and my 2 cats. Now our house is about 1500 square feet and is a 2-storey + basement but it was BUSY: 15 & ½ people, 2 dogs, 2 cats & a ferret!! LOL But it was wonderful.
Tyler’s Dad moved back from BC this year to a house on an acreage about 30 minutes from Red Deer. His wife Kris said they wanted to host Christmas this year so we all agreed to it (Tyler’s brother, Kim (the girlfriend) and us). Then Willie & Kris told us that their house wouldn’t be done the renovations so we moved the location to our house, which is fine. Then in November we were out to breakfast with Willie, Kris, Kim, Kira (the new baby) and Tyler and I when Willie told us “We’re doing the turkey and stuffing you guys can handle the rest.” Um, thanks? I thought hosting meant you provided the dinner? So basically I am hosting if I am not mistaken. The icing on the cake was when Kris said she wanted to host next year. Um, no. You had this year & you threw it away. Kim & I have families that we like to see at the holidays too. You don’t get to monopolize two years in a row. That just cheeses me.

The big wrench in that plan is that we are doing my family Christmas early & driving back from Grimshaw on the 24th. So I have to have all the food bought and in my fridge before I leave on the 20th. And Tyrone, Kim & Kira are staying in our house from the 22nd to 25th so I am a little worried that they might eat the stuff I intend for Christmas Day! Guess I’ll have to make a list & warn them not to eat it.

We’re doing Mary’s Christmas on New Year’s weekend. She said we’d probably be tired of turkey so we are going to do a fondue night. I’m pretty excited for that as I’ve never done fondue before & I just bought a small one for chocolate.

So best wishes to everyone on this Holiday Season & may your plans be as hectic as mine!

Friday, December 15, 2006

SCAM ALERT: Must Read


Hello All,

I was nearly taken in by a scam this week so I want to tell the world (or at least my faithful blog readers) all about it in this warning.

My husband received a mass mailer inviting him to a luncheon about how to make money on the internet. It included lunch & an organizer and was all for free. I was pretty skeptical about attending as I don't do well with sales pressure (READ: can't say no) but my hubby really wanted to go. So to be supportive I decided to attend (hey free lunch). The pitch was from an American Company called Stores Online.

The Luncheon:
The idea of the luncheon was to get you to sign up for a seminar for $20 a few weeks later. They said that they were an internet website hosting company that also sells software that helps you market your website. The workshop would give you some tips for marketing, help you come up with a business idea and then at the end they hoped you'd sign up to go through their company.Even though the workshop was only offered in Edmonton and on a weekday I signed figuring I had to take a risk & that I may learn something. And again it included lunch. Before leaving the luncheon they told you that regularly they sell1 website and their hosting for 1 year for $2800 + $2700 = $5500...however if you bought with them within the first 90 days they'd waive the $2800 (how thoughtful of them).

The Seminar:
So late Tuesday as I'm driving to Edmonton I start regretting signing up for this workshop. It is being held at the Ramada which I have to find all on my own and it’s late so I’m tired. The day is to start at 8:30am and go until 6:30pm (now I’m a government worker so I’m used to 8:15 – 4:30 with plenty of breaks) which is sounding really LONG to me. I also forgot to discuss with my husband what his thoughts were going into it (like would he be interested in buying?).
I arrive the next morning at the hotel not having eaten breakfast. The drive took me longer than I thought it would my mother-in-law’s house and I had planned on grabbing something on the way. Walking into the room I realized I didn’t have time to get anything and the company hadn’t brought in any breakfast. So I grabbed this itty bitty teacup and ate some candies I had brought with me (mmm, nutritious). I was seated at a table with two very nice people, a gentleman named Wilf (http://www.gainconsulting.ca/) and a lady named Tracey. Despite the fact that we were told we’d get lots of one on one training & that sitting was limited I counted about 12 rows of 16 people equaling 192 people and only about a dozen Stores Online reps.
The presenters were upbeat, likeable and funny. However they had this really great way of talking about nothing for a long time. By the first break at 9:30am they had us all fill out a credit check for so we could see if we were approved for their financing…I hesitated knowing that every credit app reduces your credit but for some reason I signed it. Then they even convinced me to give them my credit card to ensure I could make the down payment needed. The “this day only” deal was the following:

3 Websites + Customer Service Support for $2700 or
6 Websites + Customer Service Support for $4900

BUT you also need to buy the eCommerce software which allows you to take credit cards securely over the internet for $999 & this Auto Responder software that is $399 or $499 (for 3 or 6 sites respectively). Also, once your websites were active then you were charged $24.95/month for hosting. Totally $4098 or $6398 for the one day.

That is a lot of money, however they make it sound like with your effort it will be no time before that’s paid back. Between break and lunch one of the reps came over and stroked my ego by telling me that I have excellent credit and to be sure to go the “break out session” during lunch. By 1pm I’m starving. I head over to this session and find out they are trying to get us to buy right then and there. I say I still need to think about it.

Wilf decides he’s learnt all he can and that he is leaving. Before he goes he handed me a couple papers he’s printed off the internet, one showing an article about Stories Online being investigated in their home state and another from an unhappy customer. Let’s just call that the seed of doubt.

After lunch we hear some good info about marketing and how some of the tools they have are exclusive to Stores Online. That would include the “Reverse Search Engine Tool” which in my opinion is the only reason I would buy with Stores Online. This tool allows you to type in keywords and see how many people typed in those same words in a search engine in the last month. Great opportunity to look at the internet market of what you want to sell before investing any money.

I get pulled out to have my “one on one” time with a rep: Mark. I asked him about how you would get legal information to report your online income. His answer: it’s all on the software. He asked me why I wanted to do this (I think about everyone’s answer is the same): to make money so you don’t have to have a job. Then I said that I didn’t want to make a decision before I talked to my husband (who I had text message to call me ASAP as he was at work in Fort McMurray). He pitched the financing to me: it was a two year loan at 18% (yep that’s high).

At our next break I decided to call my bank and see if I could get a line of credit through them for less. The answer was yes: prime + 2.75% (working out to 8.75 right now). However the money wouldn’t be available for 3 business days. I asked Mark how that could work. He said I could write him a postdated cheque for that. Then right about 5:30pm Tyler called. Thank god, $6400 is a lot of money and I wasn’t comfortable making that decision by myself. I started to tell Tyler about it and he says “do what you think” (thanks honey). I said no I’m not doing that, and then I told him more about it. I was slowly starting to realize that I was trying to talk Tyler out of it. When he said no it’s not a good idea at this time in our lives I was relieved.

Coming back to the room Mark came over and asked if I just talked to my husband. I said yes and he vetoed it. He tried to dig a little harder and I said right now we couldn’t take this financial risk. He approached me again and tried to convince me again. I said no firmly. He left me alone. (What person would hear “no” from their spouse and then willing go out and spend the $6400 anyway?). The workshop didn’t end until about ten to seven…by the time I gathered my stuff, talked to my mother-in-law and drove home it was after ten. I was exhausted.

Last Night:
I was trying to fix my computer (it has some viruses) when I was googling stuff (as in http://www.google.ca/). When I googled “reverse search engine” I discovered the following site:
http://www.ultrasaurus.com/sarahblog/archives/000081.html

Here there were several rants about Stores Online as well as a link to the FREE reverse search engine this is EXACTLY the same as the one Stores Online claims to have an exclusive on:
http://inventory.overture.com/d/searchinventory/suggestion/.

So I am really thankful I hadn’t purchased such an overpriced product.

I did learn a few things from the workshop so it was worth my $20…but let me save you your pennies. If you want to know about the following let me know (I will pass it on for $19.95, just kidding completely FREE):

-learn what a “reverse search engine” is and why it’s useful,
-learn how to get yourself to the top spots in a “relevancy based search engine”,
-learn how to get on the sponsored links of 120 search engines (http://www.overture.com),
-learn about drop shipping,
-learn about Auto Responders,
-learn about free samples,
-learn how to find business partners on the web (http://www.thomasnet.com/).


That’s it for today…remember to trust your gut & be skeptical! Any company that doesn’t respect my right to go home and research them before handing over my money is not a company I want a relationship with.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

ENGL: Final Submission (but far from last edit)

Her Office

It was like a honing device: that little golden envelop at the bottom of my screen. It was silent and measured no more than half a centimeter each way, but I had developed a sixth sense for the moment it popped up onto my screen, luring me with new mail. I couldn’t resist. Double clicking, Lacey’s message appeared: Vi: SD strikes again...must have had bitch flakes for breakfast...details at ten. P.S. – I just love that new Kayne West song: Goldigger!
Lacey had to have a touch of Schizophrenia to be so paranoid about company e-mails; I knew no one bothered to read them. I shook my head at the code name Lacey insisted on using for Bette, our boss and secretly my sister. It was against company policy to hire family members into the same department; however, thanks to our Mom and her string of boyfriends we had different last names so no one would be the wiser if my sister and I both kept our mouths shut. My fingers flew over the keys even though her blue fabric lined walls were a mere three feet away: Break room?(yeah it has a great beat) Then, her quick reply: Of course.
Glancing at my watch I knew I had a few minutes to spare. I searched my three by three foot cell this company called a cubicle and grabbed the decoy file before making my way to Bette’s corner office. The Anna Nicole Smith signed poster came into view as I neared Lacey’s cubicle. I tried to sneak past but her mock whisper was hard to ignore.
Lacey nodded her head towards Bette’s office, “You get called by the She Devil?” she asked.
“Um, yeah. Right after you emailed.” Lie. I quickened my steps so she wouldn’t be able to read face.
I hovered in her doorway until Bette gave me the wave to come in, efficient as always she didn’t even lose her place on the pile of forms she was signing. She sat behind her heavy, mahogany desk like a judge conducting court. I closed the door behind me - we would need privacy for this - then sat in the straight backed chair opposing her. Despite the December chill outside there was a fan blowing on top of Bette’s filing cabinet: her South and West facing windows were to blame. The winter sun shined through the crystal angel I recognized as the one Mom had bought her Bette-Boo for Christmas, and the colorful beams danced in front of her work pile.
“How can I help you Viola?” She asked, her brow wrinkled in typical older sister concern, her fingers continuing their diligent work with the pen. She didn’t even look at the decoy file I had placed open on her desk; it had been one of her great ideas when I first started here.
“Why do you always pick on her?” I questioned. “You may not like the way she dresses Boop, but she gets the job done. In fact I’m sure her stats are better than most of the slackers out there.” I attempted to stare her down, then lost as usual. Bette dropped her pen with a sigh, the throat vein was throbbing.
“First of all,” she started, “you are not to refer to me as ‘Boop’”. She hated my version of the nickname. “Even behind closed doors. You know the consequences if they find out; I’ve stuck my neck out for you and would appreciate if you’d follow the ‘rules’.”
Grumbling under my breath and starting to slouch down in my chair I responded “I know, I kno-.”
“Secondly,” Bette continued, “I can’t have you running in here to be a hero every time I ask Lacey to redo some numbers. And it has nothing to do with the way she dresses. However,” God, she looks just like Mom lecturing us when we were kids. “I will be bringing up the dress code again at our next meeting to emphasis that we must be wearing professional business wear at all times. Even if the men in this organization have no complaints. How can you have anything in common with her? She’s nothing more than a professional harlot?”
I protested, “Professional harlot is pretty harsh.”
“Viola,” I hated when she said my name like that, “if I bring clients in here I don’t want them thinking we are running a brothel.” Brothel? Hmm, I remember Bette layering just as revealing skirts and shirts under the old lady wear Mom insisted we don for school. Bette picked up her pen, signaling the end of our conversation, but I wasn’t finished.
“It’s not what you say Bette, it’s how you say it. Maybe you take after your father a lot more than you want to admit.” I grabbed the file and left her office in a huff. So what if I was a breath away from eviction when Bette came to my rescue with this job? There was nothing glamorous about the data entry slash sales job and she had ‘rules’ just as she always did. But it paid the bills and I was desperate; it’s ironic how the job that I got with my degree didn’t pay enough to cover my student loan payments. This whole plot had seemed like a great idea at the time.

A few minutes later my heel tapped in unison to the silent song that the overhead fluorescent lights were beating out. I was playing the part in Lacey’s conspiracy huddle at the small, circle table as she complained about my sister.
“Then,” Lacey paused for dramatic effect. Her next words were muffled from the fat free bran muffin - smothered in butter - she had shoved in her mouth, “she told me to redo the order form as the numbers ‘didn’t quite add up’.”
I tried to think of what someone who wasn’t related to the “She Devil” would say, “That sucks” seemed safe.
“Tell me about it,” Lacey said. More bran muffin, then, “I can’t figure out where my mistake is. Do you think there could be a problem with the formulas?”
“I doubt it,” I said with a grin. “It’s probably just a couple inverted numbers. Want me to give it a quick look over? A fresh set of eyes usually helps.”
“You’re such a doll.” Lacey said, returning the smile. “The polar opposite of SD! That chick needs a man to loosen her up. ” Lacey tipped her head towards the giant analog clock above the EXIT sign. “Better get back before the time warden’s report us.”
As we made our way back through the maze of cubicles my stomach felt as if a cat was trying to claw it’s way out. I hated all the lying (or the absence of the truth, as Bette called it). Lacey and I were starting to become good friends and you can only avoid the family questions for so long. What if we started hanging out outside of work? Was I going to run around trying to hide every Bette picture every time she comes over? No, I could trust her. It will feel good to tell someone. To get this off my shoulders.
“Are you free to go for coffee after work?” I ask Lacey.
She looks puzzled for a split second, and then “Sure. Name the place.”
“Dino’s,” I said with a grin. I could feel the weight lifting already.

The next morning, as I made my way through the glass double doors separating the office from the street, I felt the best that I had in months. I hadn’t needed my daily cup of Joe on the way in, and I even bounced my way up the two flights of stairs instead of taking the elevator. By telling Lacey the truth I didn’t feel like a liar anymore. Of course she was surprised when I told her, but she hadn’t freaked out. In fact, she had been very understanding. She had smiled encouragingly as I pored out the whole story. We spent hours at the coffee shop as I told her first about Bette and I and then more about our childhood, which led to stories about my mother and her issues, and then more about Better and our power struggles.
Lacey was so easy to talk to. I suppose the brandied coffees may have helped. I had ordered the first one to calm my nerves and then Lacey had offered to buy the second round. And the third. And the fourth…how many of those had I had? Well Lacey can sure hold her liquor because she seemed to leave as sober as when we got there. When I teased her that she was getting me drunk to elicit information she paled and I apologized quickly. I didn’t want a little joke to come between our blossoming friendship.
I zipped and zagged through the other cubicles, heading towards Lacey’s pod first. Might as well say a quick hello now that we’re closer friends. My steps slowed as her pod came into sight. About half of her stuff was gone and the other half was packed into boxes. The company must be moving some pods around again. Weird that Lacey hadn’t mentioned that.
I was lost in thought when I settled into my own cubicle so I didn’t immediately notice the message taped to my screen. I chocked on my herbal tea when I read it: Please see Mr. Westin. Mr. Westin, the big cheese? Why would he want to see me? Scrambling through my drawers I located a blank pad of paper and a pen, then hustled to the elevator.
My mind raced with possible scenarios that would have trigger my appointment with Mr. Westin. It seemed like hours before the shiny metal doors parted to reveal a small, intimidating lobby. I stepped onto the black marble floor, slipping slightly, heals clicking rebelliously as I scurried over to the large desk that dominated the center of the space. The guardian of the doorway, Mrs. Perkins as per her nameplate, was answering the steady ringing of the telephone via her headset, shiny silver curls sprang loose from under her headset. A framed photo on her desk for all to see: Mrs. Perkins sprawled on a perfectly manicured lawn, her bright smile the center and surrounded by grandchildren of varying ages. The photo relaxed me as I envisioned my own grandmother. I tapped the pen on my pad of paper, reading the names engraved on the plaque behind her tightly wrapped bun as I waited. Mr. Westin – Senior Manager, West Division.
Her voice barked at me, echoing in the stark room, “Please stop that incessant tapping.” Startled I dropped the pen onto the floor; the sound seemed to annoy her even more as she peered at me through small, wire glasses. Hmm, more like an evil Mrs.Clause than my grandmother.
“I’m-,” bending over to pick up the offending pen, flushing neck up “here to see Mr. Westin.”
Her eyes swept over me, “Viola?”
I nodded, afraid to speak. In one swift motion she got up from her chair and had the door open. “Good luck,” she smirked after me. When secretary’s graduate do they get their own personal stash of cameras and microphones with their diplomas?
I read the names on the solid oak doors, after the third one I found it. Even the grain in the door seemed to be foreshadowing doom. I pause, knuckles ready to knock. Should it be a swift knock? Or my patented “jingle bells” knock? I opted for a business like short two raps.
A deep male voice boomed, “Enter.”
I subconsciously held my breath as I pushed open the heavy wood door. There were three people already in the room: Bette sat in the middle chair, she had turned to look at me and her eyes were red, swollen - I hadn’t seen Bette cry since we were kids; commanding attention from behind his desk sat Mr. Westin: greasy, curly black hair topped his small oval face, black thick frames sat on his large protruding nose. His face was marked from teenage acne which couldn’t have been more than ten years ago, and his slight frame looked like it was going to be swallowed up by the chair he perched himself from. Lastly in the third far chair was Lacey, wearing a Cheshire cat grin on her face and that was about it: her skirt was about a foot away from decent and she was aiming her exposed chest at Mr. Westin and his eyes kept darting to the target. Dread set in as I started to piece together what Bette must have already known.
“Thank you for finally joining us Ms. Gray. Please have a seat,” he gestured towards the remaining empty chair. “We have quite the situation here this morning. Ms. Gherkin here,” he gestured at Lacey, “has informed me about what was going on right under my nose. Sisters?” he scoffed. “Bette I thought you’d have more sense than that. Company Policy is clear about what I should do with you two in this situation.”
My chest felt like there was a time bomb ticking inside. Would he really fire both of us? Would the company press fraud charges? Omigod, what had we gotten into?
“However-” However was good. It gave me hope. I held my breath as he went on. “A mediocre manager is hard to find in this labor market let alone a great one. Data entry staff on the other hand,” he paused, a smirk emerging through his eyes and then twitching at the corners of his mouth, “are a dime a dozen.”
My heart registered the meaning of his words before my mind did. I was canned.
The weasel Westin continued “It is rare that we are able to find gems in our entry level positions so when we do, we like to cultivate them quickly.” He looked at Lacey, “Which is why I am going to be promoting Ms. Gherkin to account manager in our marketing division, here on the third floor, effect today. I believe you have already packed?”
I didn’t think it was a coincidence that he was promoting her to the same floor he worked on. “Just a few more little things, Mr. Westin,” Lacey reached out to squeeze his hand, then purred “Thank you for your confidence in me.”
“As for you Bette, I am deeply disappointed in your actions and I cannot leave you unpunished. Your bonus will be suspended and you will be on probation for a year. This will also be going on your permanent record.” To signal this he opened what I presumed to be her file and began to write in it. “I want to remind you of how nice I am being in this circumstance.”
He then picked up his phone and pressed a speed dial button “Yes Mrs. Perkins, can you call security in here please.” He hung up the phone and then directed his next comment towards me “Our security will escort you from the building and your personal items will be mailed to you. I shouldn’t need to tell you that we won’t be providing a positive reference but seeing as you’ve overlooked our other policies, well…”
A quick knock at the door could only be the security guards that were here to escort me away like a common criminal. As they hustled me out the hall and through the lobby I heard Mrs. Perkins call out “Have a great day!”

Friday, December 01, 2006

Oct 28 - Murder Mystery Train Ride in Stettler


Well me & 28 of my closest friends (not, mostly co-workers, some I knew some I didn't) went to Stettler to try out their Prairie Steam Ride. The cost was about $99/tax (plus tax) for the ride, dinner & a murder mystery play. Departing time was 2:30pm & arrival back from Big Valley about 8:30pm I believe.

Parts I enjoyed:
-the company on the train ride was good, gave us time to chit chat & catch up,
-the acting was pretty good,
-the popcorn on the train was delicious & affordable (only $1),
-the dinner was pretty good if I remember correctly,
-and the fudge I bought on the way back in Big Valley was amazing.

Parts I didn't enjoy:
-it was probably the first really cold day of the season,
-I felt a little carsick on the train,
-the plot line of the murder didn't amaze me,
-not sure that it was worth the price.

So that's my brief synopsis. There are other adventures available on the train such as train robbery, which may be a better value for the money?

Sunday, November 26, 2006

English Story: 2nd Last Submission

November 23, 2006

It was like a honing device: that little golden envelop at the bottom of my screen. It was silent, without smell and measured no more than half a centimeter each way, but I had developed a sixth sense for the moment it popped up onto my screen, luring me with new mail. And I couldn’t resist it. Double clicking, Lacey’s message appeared: Vi: SD strikes again...must have had bitch flakes for breakfast...give you details at ten.

I shook my head at the code name Lacey insisted on using for our boss Bette. That girl had to have a touch of Schizophrenia to be so paranoid about company emails. I knew no one actually bothered to read them. My fingers flew over the keys, typing a quick message even though her blue fabric lined cubicle walls were a mere three feet away: Break room? Then, her quick reply: Of course.

Glancing at my watch I knew I had a few minutes to spare. I grabbed a file off of my desk and made my way to Bette’s corner office. Seeing me in the doorway, she gave me a wave to come in without losing her pace on the pile of forms she was signing. I closed the door behind me, we would need privacy for this, then sat in the straight backed chair opposing her. Beams of winter sun were dancing through the crystal angel our mom had bought her for Christmas. This office must get sweltering hot in the summer, I thought to myself.

“How can I help you Viola?” She asked, her brow wrinkled in concern but her fingers continued their efficient work with the pen. She didn’t even look at the decoy file I had placed open on her desk. The file had been her idea.

“Why do you always pick on her?” I asked. “You may not like the way she dresses, sis, but she gets the job done. In fact I’m sure her stats are better than most of the slackers out there.” I attempted to stare her down. I lost. Bette finally set the pen down with a sigh, displaying the patience that only an older sibling can have.

“First of all,” she started, “you are not to refer to me as ‘sis’, even behind closed doors. It’s a bad habit and you know the consequences if they find out. I’ve stuck my neck out for you and would appreciate if you’d follow the ‘rules’.”

Grumbling under my breath and starting to slouch down in my chair I responded “I know, I kno-” but she cut me off.

“Secondly, I can’t have you running in here to be a hero every time I ask Lacey to redo some numbers. And it has nothing to do with the way she dresses. However I will be bringing up the dress code again at our next meeting to emphasis that we must be wearing professional business wear at all times. I can’t have clients coming into this company office and thinking we are a bunch of street walkers.” Street walker was a bit harsh, though Lacey did wear some revealing clothing. Bette picked up her pen again signaling the end of our conversation, but I wasn’t finished.

“It’s not what you say Bette, it’s how you say it. Maybe you just take after your dad a lot more than you want to admit.” I left that part hang in the air as I grabbed the decoy file and left her office.

I was a breath away from eviction when Bette came to my rescue with this job. She had bad staff turnover and I was desperate: it’s ironic how the job that I got with my degree didn’t pay enough to cover my student loan payments. There was nothing glamorous about the data entry slash sales job but it paid the bills so I took it. She had some ‘rules’ though. It was against Company policy to hire family members into the same department. However since we had different last names no one would be the wiser if we both kept our mouths shut. It seemed like a great idea at the time.
“Then,” Lacey paused for dramatic effect. Her next words were muffled from the fat free bran muffin (smothered in butter) she had shoved in her mouth, “she told me to redo the order form as the numbers ‘didn’t quite add up’.”
I tried to think of what someone who wasn’t related to the “She Devil” would say, the overhead fluorescents flicking to the beat of a silent song. “That sucks”, seemed like a safe answer.
“Tell me about it.” Lacey said. More bran muffin then, “I can’t figure out where my mistake is. Do you think there could be a problem with the built in formulas?”
“I doubt it” I said with a grin. “It’s probably just a couple inverted numbers. Want me to give it a quick look over? A fresh set of eyes usually helps.”
“You’re such a doll.” Lacey said, returning the smile. “The polar opposite of SD!” Lacey pushed herself up from the break table and tipped her head towards the giant analog clock above the EXIT sign. “Better get back to our desks before the clock Nazi’s report us.”
As we made our way back through the maze of cubicles I felt the all too familiar weight in my stomach. I hated all the lying (or the absence of the truth, as Bette called it). Lacey and I were starting to become really good friends and you can only avoid the family questions for so long. Plus what if we started hanging out outside of work? Was I going to frantically run around trying to hide every Bette picture every time she comes over?

Friday, November 17, 2006

English Class: Nov 9 Assignment

Assignment: Re-write on my last story...

It was like a honing device: that little golden envelop at the bottom of my screen. It was silent, without smell and measured no more than half a centimeter each way, but I had developed a sixth sense for the moment it popped up onto my screen, luring me with new mail. And I couldn’t resist it. Double clicking, Lacey’s message appeared: Vi: SD strikes again...must have had bitch flakes for breakfast...give you details at ten.
I shook my head at the code name Lacey insisted on using for our boss Bette. That girl had to have a touch of Schizophrenia to be so paranoid about company emails. I knew no one actually bothered to read them. My fingers flew over the keys, typing a quick message even though her blue fabric lined cubicle walls were a mere three feet away: Break room? Then, her quick reply: Of course.
Glancing at my watch I knew I had a few minutes to spare. I grabbed a file off of my desk and made my way to Bette’s corner office. Seeing me in the doorway, she gave me a wave to come in without losing her pace on the pile of forms she was signing. I closed the door behind me, we would need privacy for this, then sat in the straight backed chair opposing her. Beams of winter sun were dancing through the crystal angel our mom had bought her for Christmas. This office must get sweltering hot in the summer, I thought to myself.
“How can I help you Viola?” She asked, her brow wrinkled in concern but her fingers continued their efficient work with the pen. She didn’t even look at the decoy file I had placed open on her desk. The file had been her idea.
“Why do you always pick on her?” I asked. “You may not like the way she dresses, sis, but she gets the job done. In fact I’m sure her stats are better than most of the slackers out there.” I attempted to stare her down. I lost. Bette finally set the pen down with a sigh, displaying the patience that only an older sibling can have.
“First of all,” she started, “you are not to refer to me as ‘sis’, even behind closed doors. It’s a bad habit and you know the consequences if they find out. I’ve stuck my neck out for you and would appreciate if you’d follow the ‘rules’.”
Grumbling under my breath and starting to slouch down in my chair I responded “I know, I kno-” but she cut me off.
“Secondly, I can’t have you running in here to be a hero every time I ask Lacey to redo some numbers. And it has nothing to do with the way she dresses. However I will be bringing up the dress code again at our next meeting to emphasis that we must be wearing professional business wear at all times. I can’t have clients coming into this company office and thinking we are a bunch of street walkers.” Street walker was a bit harsh, though Lacey did wear some revealing clothing. Bette picked up her pen again signaling the end of our conversation, but I wasn’t finished.
“It’s not what you say Bette, it’s how you say it. Maybe you just take after your dad a lot more than you want to admit.” I left that part hang in the air as I grabbed the decoy file and left her office.
I was a breath away from eviction when Bette came to my rescue with this job. She had bad staff turnover and I was desperate: it’s ironic how the job that I got with my degree didn’t pay enough to cover my student loan payments. There was nothing glamorous about the data entry slash sales job but it paid the bills so I took it. She had some ‘rules’ though. It was against Company policy to hire family members into the same department. However since we had different last names no one would be the wiser if we both kept our mouths shut. It seemed like a great idea at the time.
“Then,” Lacey paused for dramatic effect. Her next words were muffled from the fat free bran muffin (smothered in butter) she had shoved in her mouth, “she told me to redo the order form as the numbers ‘didn’t quite add up’.”
I tried to think of what someone who wasn’t related to the “She Devil” would say, the overhead fluorescents flicking to the beat of a silent song. “That sucks”, seemed like a safe answer.
“Tell me about it.” Lacey said. More bran muffin then, “I can’t figure out where my mistake is. Do you think there could be a problem with the built in formulas?”
“I doubt it” I said with a grin. “It’s probably just a couple inverted numbers. Want me to give it a quick look over? A fresh set of eyes usually helps.”
“You’re such a doll.” Lacey said, returning the smile. “The polar opposite of SD!” Lacey pushed herself up from the break table and tipped her head towards the giant analog clock above the EXIT sign. “Better get back to our desks before the clock Nazi’s report us.”
As we made our way back through the maze of cubicles I felt the all too familiar weight in my stomach. I hated all the lying (or the absence of the truth, as Bette called it). Lacey and I were starting to become really good friends and you can only avoid the family questions for so long. Plus what if we started hanging out outside of work? Was I going to frantically run around trying to hide every Bette picture every time she comes over?

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Dabbling in Rap Lyrics


My friend/ex-co-worker Katherine is applying for Deal or No Deal...she wanted to spice up her application so she asked me to write a poem or rap...here's what I whipped up:

My name is Katherine,
I'm a mom of two.
I've got lots of skills,
but Administration is what I do.

I'm a really good time,
Don't you know blondes have more fun?
Spunky, peppy, pretty,
All rolled into one.

Bringing my sister in my heart,
plus my lucky blue socks,
maybe even my husband or co-workers,
Regardless, my posse really rocks!

I'm excited, I'm thrilled,
I just can't contain how I feel,
I'd love to be a contestant on
Deal or No Deal!

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

**New York Trip Disclaimer**

I have gotten some feedback that my trip postings are coming across a little bitchy &/or rude. I just wanted to respond to that:
I wrote up my trip when it was still fresh & in my brain. I was sensitive because I hadn't had much good sleep that week and I wanted my descriptions to reflect my experience as I had it, not as I remembered it later. This means that yes, I was brutally honest. And that yes, I probably wasn't very nice to some people. I hope that anyone reading them (including those involved) don't take my commentary personally & that it doesn't affect my future friendships with them, as I'd like to remain friends with everyone!
So that's why they are called "uncensored". I would also like to invite everyone to leave comments on anything I post here...that's why the option is available. So if something is accurate or if you don't agree with something I say please "comment". Most of you should know that I love a good debate!

Monday, October 30, 2006

NY Pictures Four


Melody's "come hither" pose...just for me!

















The closest I got to celebrity :-( I just love "the Office"...

NY Pictures Three



Megan & I...I'm all backlit...ain't it 80's!

Melody & Vanessa at FAO Schwartz (famous toy store).

NY Pictures Two




Ambercromie & Fitch model...yum.












Nicki, Scott & Melody aboard the double decker bus.

NY Pictures One


Vanessa, Melody & I with New York's finest (that's what they call the cops right? or is that the firefighters?).











Tricia, Melody & Vanessa outside the bookstore in the Minneapolis airport.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

New York (Uncensored): Day 5


October 21, 2006

Our last day. I so wasn’t ready to go home, but I was ready for some other people to leave! We wanted to jam pack as much into our last morning as possible. T & T decided that they were going to go to Canal Street to do some shopping. I found it quite rude that they hadn’t even asked any of us if we wanted to go, including Megan who was suppose to be on this trip with Tina.

Nicki & Scott had decided that they were sleeping in, getting ready & leaving for their flights.

So that left what I like to call the Fun Posse to hang out (Melody, Vanessa, Megan & Myself). First up we wanted to do some final souvenir shopping. I wanted a “Wicked Witch” bobble head that I had saw, & something Betty Boop New York for Tannis (good story behind that). Plus if I could find a I Heart NY charm I wanted that. We set off about 8am to find that most of the stores weren’t quite open yet. We decided to grab some breakie and ended up in a sit down restaurant! Ooops. Oh well, we had a great time. Vanessa & I split a $15 bacon & eggs but it was pretty good and there was lots. Did I mention that I was feeling a bit hung over? And I really didn’t drink that much: 5 milk + coca cream liqueurs.

After breakfast we continued shopping and figured we might as well hit Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum while we were close to it. Even though it was on the bottom of my priority list it turned out to be my favorite outing! We had so little time that we decided to blast threw it as quickly as possible but still try to do everything. We did the 1 ½ hour tour in 22 minutes! Some of the wax people were so real I didn’t know who was real & who was fake until they moved. There was also a Chamber of Horrors which I did NOT participate in; I do like to sleep at night. I waited at the other end and all three girls came running out screaming! It was awesome. Plenty of photo ops.

After we headed separately back to the hotel so we could finish packing up all our purchases and check out of the hotel. Tina & Tricia were waiting for us to brag about how cool a time they had. As you can tell I was pretty darn bitchy by this point. I am thankful that they picked up a fake Coach purse & pashmina for me though. I was trying to plan the last 2 hours so that I could go photograph the Met and Mel, Nessa, Megan could go to FAO Schwartz (famous toy store w/ large floor keyboard). However T & T were insistent that they were going to go have lunch together & “relax”. Thanks for taking one for the team guys. So the Fun Posse piled into a cab and we went to the Met. Got some shots. Hailed another cabbie. Went to FAO Swartz. Mel & Nessa tried to hit CocaCola thinking it was a store, but it wasn’t available to the public. Meg & I were going to go to William Sonoma but it was too far away to do it in time so we waited by the fountain. We met up again then headed back to the hotel with not a minute to spare.

Limo picked us up & we got to the airport at a decent time (the six group sans Nicki & Scott). We all managed to get our luggage in underweight after some rearranging. At the carry-on security part my snow globe was picked up in the machine. Right now security doesn’t allow any liquids in your carry-on unless it fits into the one-liter ziplock bag, even my snow globe (cuz yes I manufactured a “made in china” snow globe in four days in New York). Security was really nice though & luckily it fit in my ziplock so I was good to go.

We decided to eat some lunch as it was about 3:30pm New York time. The Chili’s waitress was really nice. Then we stopped in on a few shops, sporadically getting back to the departure gate. If we were smarter we would have realized that 4:29pm departure time means we leave the runway at that time. So we were the last ones to board the plane. Megan was ahead of me & one lady was giving her a hard time because she had a backpack as well as a shopping bag. However Melody had the same amount and type of carry on & they waved her through. The lady wasn’t being helpful in telling us what to do so we got a little stressed! Finally she left & another lady just hushed us and told us to get to the plane. In the panic Megan forgot her passport & boarding passes on the desk. The lady run to the plane with the passport but didn’t have the passes. Said we could re-print them at our next stop, Detroit.

Flight to Detroit was pretty boring. This gentlemen Raj sat in our row (Window, Crystal, Tricia, Raj, Aisle) and Tricia flirted with him the entire flight. He even asked for her email by the end of it (mine too but I think just as a cover up). We had to bolt to the next gate once we touched down in Detroit, even taking a airport shuttle thing.

No problems boarding in Detroit. Vanessa ended up trading seats with a lady so a couple could sit together, putting Vanessa in the same row as Tricia & I. Again, uneventful flight. Just really ready to get home now.

Few hours layover in Minneapolis. It was about 9pm there so stuff was all closing down. I decided I really like the “Butterfinger Crisp” American chocolate bar but was unable to find one. I was even willing to take a loss on an empty space in a vending machine but the machine was too smart & wouldn’t let me.

Landed in Edmonton about 11:00pm Saturday night local time. Went through customs and discovered that if you are out of the country between 48 hours & 7 days you only get $200 exemption. No it’s not prorated. L I was none to happy about that cuz Tina, who I’m sure spent loads (so much that she had to buy an extra piece of luggage) wrote she only spent $300 & didn’t have to pay. It was only about $11 but it was the principle that made me mad. Also the customs guy was super pissy and I didn’t appreciate that welcome back to Canada. Tina made a comment to me about sucking it up and I started to cry (cuz I was super sleep deprived, exhausted from the flight & hey it’s easy for her to say when she doesn’t have to pay anything). I hate crying in front of people, especially when you don’t want them to think they can effect you like that.

Everyone but Megan & I was finished and waiting on the exit side of the door. Megan went through & they asked her to go to another room. I was going to wait for her but they shooed me through. We ended up waiting for over an hour. She got bag searched (poor girl). And it turns out she completely forgot about a bunch of things she bought (make-up & credit cards can have that effect). I didn’t get the whole story but it sounds like she made it out okay. She’s a trooper. Think about it: if Tina can make me cry what about some customs guys? Scary.

So then Tina, Megan, Tricia headed back to Red Deer (Tina’s husband came to pick them up). Vanessa, Mel & I headed to Tyler’s mom’s to pick up Mel’s car. The house looked like they were all in bed. Vanessa & Mel headed back to Grimshaw and I went into the house. Turns out Mary, Robert, Cassie (Robert’s daughter) & Tyler were in the hot tub…so I told them some stories, showed them some souvenirs, ate some Chinese food & headed to bed. It was roughly 3am at this point.
That about sums up my trip. I had a mostly good time but some negativity as well. Learned lots about some people and traveling. Can’t wait to go on a trip again (however I am some kind of poor)!

New York (Uncensored): Day 4


October 20, 2006

Friday. The last full day. It was again somewhat misty and rainy out. We (The 8 sans Nicki & Scott) headed to Rockefeller first thing. I bought my ticket for the “Top of the Rock”…then we wandered over to the “Today” show display where we just missed P Diddy walking off the stage L. After a few minutes of hanging around we gave up trying to see anyone famous. A girl approached us & asked us if we’d like to attend a taping of a new show that was like Dr. Phil. Unfortunately we had our TV/Movie bus tours to get to at 11:00am so we had to pass. Then the other 5 ladies went to buy their Top of the Rock tickets…the booth guys informed them that there was zero visibility. Grrr! I teared up. I just wanted to see something. As you can tell I was getting very tired and frustrated by this point. So I returned my ticket (got my money back) and we went inside to try to get NBC tour tickets. Megan bowed out cuz she wasn’t interested. We agreed to meet at the front doors.

Get upstairs, just missed the 9:30am tour, got our tickets, then found out we wouldn’t have time for the whole tour. Figured we’d just take part of it. No dice. There was no way to only do part of the tour. So we went downstairs together. Tricia leaves the group to go find Megan (and yes boys & girls she does not have a cell phone). The four of us stand by the front door for about 15 minutes waiting for Megan & Tricia to show up. We text Megan. We go to the bathroom downstairs. Megan finds us with Tricia in tow, luckily, as they just happened to bump into each other. I decide that I need to hit Starbucks as I still haven’t eaten breakfast and we will soon have to leave for our bus tour. Yes we wasted half a morning & accomplished nil.

I told everyone that I needed to hit Nintendo World before we part as I was going to get something done dammit. Bought some things, almost everyone appeared to look inconvenienced for the 10 minutes it took me. Yet it was no biggie when Megan & I had to wait over an hour in the lobby of Empire, hmmmmm.

Then off to our tours. Megan, Tina & I to the “Sex & the City” bus tour. Tricia, Melody, & Vanessa to the general Movie/TV bus tour. I saw some cool things, ate a delicious & famous cupcake from Magnolia Bakery, got my photo taken on Carrie’s stoop, had a cosmopolitan and a flirtini at Aiden/Steve’s bar, and got a way too tiny shirt (but it was pre-bought, mistake). I think it would have been way more fun if Megan & Tina had faked some enthusiasm. In their defense they don’t really know the show & went just for me…so again another disappointment.

On the walk back to the hotel Tina decided to cab it to Century 21, a store that sells designer stuff at discounts. Meg & I kept walking to the hotel. Then we got hit by a friggin’ monsoon! We were soaked within 30 seconds despite my umbrella. That’s such an uncomfortable feeling…and we still had plenty of block left to cover before we were back at the hotel. We did see “Crystal Café” on the way so I got a shot of that.

So then I got to listen to how much fun the other 3 had on their tour…they ate at “Rice to Riches” (a really cool sounding store that makes rice pudding creations taste like pumpkin pie and other neat things), saw where tons of celebrities lived…that sort of thing. Boo, so jealous of their fun.

Then we packed our bags up a bit and got ready for the cruise that night. We had talked to the concierge and he suggested leaving at 5:30pm to make sure we don’t get stuck in rush hour traffic. At 5:25pm I popped into the Nicki-Scott-Melody-Vanessa room to see how things were coming. I was surprised to see that Nicki was still in her boxer shorts & so I commented on it…

Me: “You’re not even wearing pants?” (I thought it was obvious that I was being funny).
Her response: “We have over an hour.”
Me: “No. We have like 5 minutes. The concierge said we should leave by 5:30 cuz of rush hour”.
Her, snapping: “So leave without me then.”
Me: (thought - that’s a great solution) “Why are you bitchy?”
Her: “Well I’ve been bitched at all day.” (thought – by me?)

That pretty much ended that. She finished getting ready in about 10 minutes-ish and we went downstairs to get our cabs. Nicki, Scott, Vanessa & I shared one cab (me in the front) and the other four were behind us getting another. On our way there our cab suddenly stopped in the middle of the 2-way street in our center lane. I looked around trying to figure out a logical reason for why he was stopped. Then he says “That mutherfucker hit my cab.” Oh. Great. I see that cab zoom over to the right lane beside us & pull up to the front of the intersection. So our cab pulls into the oncoming traffic lane, then parks himself perpendicular to the traffic in the middle of the intersection. He rolls down my window (via button) and yells out the window OVER me “Hey you mutherfuker. You asshole. Why you hit my cab.” A few more times & yes he had an accent.

The other cabbie doesn’t say a whole lot but does start inching his car towards my side door. “Hit me, yeah hit me” our cabbie says. Um, please no. I AM sitting here. Hello cabbie? The light changes to green. Horns start going. Our cabbie reverses a bit so he can whip around to go left. The offending cab drives past us in the same direction, then our cab goes after him! I thought, I am SO not paying to chase this guy all over the city. But it turns out that was where our cruise docked at. So we paid the guy & got out. The three back-seaters confess that they had their hands on the handle so that they could escape if a gun was pulled. Excuse me? I hadn’t even thought of that. I would have been screwed. Cool story though.

After standing in the cold wind for about ½ hour we board our cruise boat. Not as big as I expected but still cool. The staff was standing in line to greet us and the table set-up was quite fancy. The walls & ceiling were made of glass so we could see everything while we cruised. The food was quite amazing, the drinks were expensive and there was a live jazz music. She sang L-O-V-E and New York, New York as well as many others. By the time we pulled out from the dock we had eaten our appetizers & it was pitch black outside. The night view of the city was beautiful & we got to see the Statue of Liberty, Brooklyn Bridge, Ellis Island and many more…one of the highlights of our trip for sure. Especially since the waiter hit on me LOL I wanted to ask him a question & his response was “Single & Available.” Cute. Not the waiter, the response. About 3 hours later we docked back at Chelsea Piers.

Our group split up again. Vanessa and Melody were off to do some shopping (however they were dismayed to find most of the shops closed). Tina, Tricia, Megan & I headed to the Empire State building as Megan and I wanted to see the city view from high. When we got there it was 11:01pm so we missed the store where we needed to get our tickets using our NY Passes, so we had to talk management into letting us in anyway. Turned out to be a bit of a gong show. He wanted to keep our passes (which would expire at midnight) so that he could get reimbursed the next day. We didn’t want to give him our passes as we wanted the souvenir. A very friendly American couple Bob & Cathy Lewis offered to mail them to us after picking them up the next day! Isn’t that sweet?

We went upstairs and surprise, Tina and Tricia wanted to do the Skyride. Well Megan & I didn’t want to do that cuz we had been drinking & on a boat & a skyride didn’t seem like a good idea. So Megan & I had to wait for the two of them yet again for over a ½ hour. We chatted it up with Cathy while Bob joined T & T.

We asked one of the workers what time the Observation Deck was open until. She said 2am. So we weren’t worried and just hung out, waiting for T & T. Then everything seemed to be getting shut down (it’s about 11:30pm right now). A different ladies says to us “we’re closing you have to leave.” What? Meg & I were outraged…the other lady said 2am. This is our second time here and we are not leaving until we see the city dammit! The first lady saunters over & looks puzzled. The “closing up” lady starts laughing. She punked us. They were not closing. It felt good to laugh!
So another 15 minutes or so and the other 3 join us so we go up to the Observation Deck. Beautiful. I am glad I made it there. You can’t see Central Park from Empire (you have to go to Rockefeller for that) but it was still great. I tried to take some shots but they didn’t turn out that great. Next up the gift shop. So fun. I bought my favorite souvenir there: an apple shaped snow globe with the city inside. Plus a postcard of the famous men eating lunch on a construction beam and an ornament for my Christmas tree.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

New York (Uncensored): Day 3


October 19, 2006

We started out the day by going to Grey Line and buying a 48 hour pass for their Double Decker bus tour. Our plan was to do the downtown bus loop. Our posse included: Nicki, Scott, Melody, Vanessa, Tricia, Me. Megan and Tina had some hair stuff to do as they are stylists and wanted to accomplish some business while they were there.

The bus tour was great because: a) less walking, b) tour guides are filled with lots of fun facts. The first stop we got off at was the World Trade Center area, but before that we saw the Brooklyn Bridge. I was expecting to be able to walk through the WTC area but it was blocked off by a huge fence all away around. They have some professional posters up with emotional pictures and timelines of that day’s events. Around the corner from the WTC area was a WTC Visitors Center where they had a makeshift museum. It was a lot smaller than I was expecting, especially if you consider that it was 5 years ago that it happened. Or maybe that is why? I had to keep the pictures, quotes and memorably registering at arms length or a person could get mighty depressed there. A lot of lives were effected by that event.

After that we headed towards Wall Street where the bronze “charging bull” was supposed to be located. We did see the New York Stock Exchange but no bull. The six of us ended up at the South Seaport where Nicki & Scott wanted to lunch but Mel, Nessa, Tricia and I wanted to try to find our way to Chinatown. Our first mistake was not going back onto the bus! We got a little lost and found ourselves in the real Chinatown versus the tourist Chinatown (didn’t know there was 2 LOL). So it was stinky, and we didn’t find too much good shopping.

After much walking, nervousness and time we got to the one block that remains as Little Italy. We had Gelati (Italien ice cream) and I bought a chef pizza cutter for my kitchen. Eventually we made our way back to the tour bus (it was a hop on – hop off deal which was really nice to have that flexibility). Since we just missed a bus we decided to check out the tented sale area that was right beside it. We were quite glad we did. I bought 2 elephant purses (one for my mother-in-law & one for my sis-in-law), a NYC hoodie (for only $18), and perfume for Willie my old carpooler.

Then we caught the bus and looped back around the area we walked through which was great as then we got some facts & history about it. Many, many photo opportunities. Also we drove past the bull so I got a great side shot of that. The bus dropped us off a little ways from Rockefeller where we checked out the NBC Store (one of my favorite highlights of the trip) where I loaded up on “the Office” stuff and Mel, Nessa & I got our photo in Central Perk (a green screen that looks amazing). Then we had to hustle back to the hotel so we could meet up with the group again.

Megan & Tricia got tickets to see “the Producers” on Broadway, Tina and Mel were going to watch the Met’s game in Times Square, and the last four of us (Nicki, Scott, Vanessa, I) were going to check out New York Improv (stand up comedy). The latter 6 of us decided to get dinner first. Big mistake. By the time we were all ready to go it was prime dinner time. I wanted to go to Carmine’s which is some famous Italien food but it was a 45-60 minute wait which would have made us late for the comedy. So we walked into the first available restaurant: Planet Hollywood.

It started out okay: food decent, clips of songs, movies & trivia (that we won free stuff at). However it was a rushed meal. Oh, and Nicki & Scott confessed that after Mel and Vanessa fell asleep they had sex a mere few feet away. Rude. Then, when we went to split up the bill things went haywire. At first we thought we had too much money so Nicki & Scott left, saying they didn’t care. But upon further inspection we realized we didn’t have enough money (8.5% tax + 20 % gratuity adds up). I blame it partly on the fact that the bill was itemized retardedly (the souvenir cost of the glass was under the cost of your drink).

Can you believe that they charged me for bringing a small, small plate of cutup pineapple from the bar that I had to add to my own pizza? It was only a $1.50 but it’s the principle (and the fact that the pizza was already like $18 for a small)…anyway I tried to bring it up with Nicki & Scott in what I thought was a nice way. Turns out it didn’t come across that way & Nicki was peeved at me. She even said she was mad cuz she had bought me that Scrapbook stuff and I threw a few dollars in her face. My point: it wasn’t me that ended up pitching in the extra money, and I think it’s rude to ditch the bill without making sure everything is covered.

Anyhoo, the four of us headed to our comedy stuff via cabbie (I think?) and Mel & Tina went to a sports bar as it ended up raining again. The comedy club was in a somewhat scary basement and we were packed like sardines! Drinks were far from good but the comedy was pretty excellent. Especially since it was only $5 admission. The table next to us were really annoying, talking through some of the sets. Thankfully the management asked them to pay up & leave. I wish they’d do that in Red Deer! It was really interesting to hear different material from New York comedians as they have different environments to draw from.

That pretty much wrapped up Thursday.

New York (Uncensored): Day 2


October 18, 2006

All of us (sans Nicki & Scott) are ready to go by 8:30am. While we are getting ready Tricia informs me that I was on her side of the bed all night and she doesn’t look impressed. From that time on I spend each night half-awake so that I don’t get in her space. Needless to say I was not well rested.

The concierge suggests that we contact the place we got our tickets from (ticket master) to explore our options. They don’t open until 9:00am. We grab some breakie and head to Central Park. While we’re walking down the street I get a hold of Ticket Master. They were really helpful and printed off tickets for us to pick up at the Theatre. Dilemma solved.

We get some beautiful shots of CP as well as the horse carriages. Our group of 6 have a hard time staying together. Tina and Tricia seem to have paired up as they are zooming through the park several paces ahead of the rest of us. We get a wee bit lost so didn’t end up having time for the Met (Metropolitan Museum). I was quite disappointed. We hit the Central Park zoo and get plenty of good shots of penguins (my favorite), polar bears, turtles and birds. We don’t have time for the children’s zoo which is okay by me. On our way back to the hotel we walk along 5th Avenue (where the famous shops are: Tiffany’s, Gucci, Trump Tower), though we didn’t see anyone famous.

Back at the hotel I change my shoes (blisters already) and my outfit (everyone else dressed up). We head to the Gershwin theatre where Tricia, Megan, Tina & I are going to see “Wicked” (the prequel to “Wizard of Oz”). Mel has no problem getting our new tickets and so they (Vanessa & Mel) split off to go see the Lion King at the Minskoff theatre. I was thirsty so I bought a small glass of pop & a small bottle of water. Cost me $7.50 US. I guess expensive concession stands are international?

The play was amazing…I think I’ll write a separate entry for the synopsis as I don’t want to belittle it with a few lines. Ana Gesteyer (best known for her roles on “Saturday Night Live”, but you may also know her as Cady’s mom on “Mean Girls”) starred as the Wicked Witch.

After the play some of us changed again as we rendezvoused with Nicki & Scott. We attempted to take the Subway to Madison Square Gardens but do to some train cancellations had to do some really complicated switches. Nicki & Scott ended up leaving us & taking a cab. Luckily they were waiting for us at the Will Call where we needed to get our tickets.

We had two tickets in one section, 226 and four tickets in another section, 202 (fairly equal levels). Originally Melody offered to sit with Tricia by themselves and Tricia agreed saying she didn’t care…however after Tina & Megan got tickets in the bigger group section, 202 she told me she wanted to sit with the group so Mel & I sat together (it struck me as a little odd but I guess by this point she was just a lot more comfortable with Tina then my other friends). We split off to our sections and Melody & I hit the souvenir store. We managed to find a deal where a New York Rangers sweater was $30 versus $60 by accident. It was awesome. Then we split a foot long hotdog, pretzel, knish & some pop. We were having a pretty good time. After the first period, since the Gardens were about ½ empty, we went over to sit with the group in 202. Game was okay, but I think the Rexall has a much nicer arena. Rangers lost 3-1 against the Nashville Predators. A guy walked out into the stands wearing a jersey of someone from New York Islanders and the crowd went crazy yelling “asshole”…apparently there is a really good story behind that involving a new rookie & cheap shot-ing but I don’t know the names so I won’t bother to tell it.

At one point when I went to the washroom the signs were confusing and I accidentally walked into the men’s urinal…very embarrassing. But it makes a good story! LOL

After the game we decided to walk to Empire State Building. We walked down this really scary street where one guy was puking and another was peeing! On the way there Mel realized she didn’t have her NY Pass which got us pre-paid admission, so I offered to let her use mine as I would rather have seen the Top of the Rock (Rockefeller). Once there Megan realized she had left her’s back at the hotel so we were both hooped. We waited in the lobby with nothing to do, no where to sit for well over an hour. I don’t mind taking one for the team but it sucked that no one bothered to hurry so that we wouldn’t have to wait as long…and that no one was thankful that we waited. Wait, scratch that. Nicki bought me a scrapbook pack of paper so I am VERY thankful that she thought of me.
Then we headed back home & I think may have done some more shopping and hit a Starbuck’s? It wasn’t important either way.

New York (Uncensored): Day 1

October 17, 2006

Woke up dark & early at about 5:30am (I think?). Got ready and left for airport with Vanessa, Melody & Tricia. Arrived at airport with plenty of time for some breakie (bagel & milk for me). Boarded our first flight with no luggage problems & we were on our way to New York.

Had a stopover in Minneapolis, Minnesota airport for a few hours. Checked out the airport, Melody did a little shopping, took some pictures and had lunch. Had a thought that something wasn't right with my money when paying for lunch. Went to board our flight & realized it was delayed. It was also at this point that we discovered one of our broadway tickets was missing. Told Vanessa not to worry about it, we'd check out the luggage fully when we got to NYC.

Flight left Minneapolis about an hour late. Fully realized on the plane that I had left $200 of my $500 US dollars at home in a different wallet. Upsetting. Flight was a little turblent and our arrival in NY was non-too-exciting as it was cloudy & the first thing we saw was runway! Getting bags from claim area was super easy however our limo driver was nowhere to be found. About 20 minutes, several loops & a phone call to the hotel later we finally bumped into him. Did I mention that it was pouring rain (but warm)? So we had an uneventful ride to the hotel as we couldn't seem much from the low limo windows...had not thought of that.

Tricia & I were sharing a room with Megan & Tina who had a 2-day head start on shopping...and the room showed it. Melody & Vanessa were sharing a room with Nicki & Scott who had flown Air Canada and arrived despite a cancelled connecting flight.

All 8 of us headed down Broadway Avenue to find a place to eat and see the city at night. There were guys selling umbrellas at just about every corner. Most of us got one (mine was $3, money well spent). Ended up at Hardrock Cafe as both Melody & Nicki wanted to eat there and buy souvenirs. We had about a 25 minute wait and ended up sitting at 2 different 4-seater tables which was fine. I had one of the most scrumptious burgers I’ve ever eaten there, but for about $20US it had better be! Our waitress was terrible especially after she realized we weren’t tipping her much. I had bought both a souvenir group picture & glass but ditched the glass before I came home.

We then split into two groups & proceeded to start souvenir shopping and continued taking in the sights of Times Square and Broadway Avenue. In one of the souvenir shops a tall, Arabic guy walked straight towards me and asked me the following, “How you doing tonight?” “Are you married?” “Where is he?” “Why isn’t he here?” intermingled with my answers. It was flattering but also a little nerve racking! LOL

When we got back to our hotel Vanessa & Mel double checked their luggage and we were indeed short one ticket for Wicked. It put a damper on the mood of the trip right off the bat. Also discovered that Nicki and Megan/Tina had NOT hit it off right from the start. Not sure of the specifics or who was “in the wrong” but it affected the rest of the trip. We pow-wow’ed and decided that we’d:
1. Talk to the concierge first thing in the morning to try to sort out the tickets,
2. Visit central park (hit the zoo & the Met),
3. Go to our Broadway shows (Wicked & Lion King),Go to our Rangers game.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Things I learned on my vacation...

-Group size is important. For me a group of about 4 would be optimal.

-Rain happens, get used to it.

-It's important to double, double check your wallet for changed currency before you leave.

-Double check for pre-purchased tickets before you leave.

-Leave room for purchases in your suitcase.

-Pack your carry on light.

-Save up for first class flying.

-Customs doesn't allow much for international purchases, suck it up & pay the GST.

-Almost all New Yorkers are really nice, the weather is unpredictable, and there is too much to see!

-A double bed is too small for 2 people who are not married.

-Don't share a room with a sexually open couple.

-Bring a back pack for carrying versus a purse because the purse causes extreme shoulder pain.

-Always carry a really good map with you and check it frequently to make sure you're not lost.

-A 30 second pow wow of communication is worth a thousand text messages.

-Skip the limo & get the cab UNLESS you are on the way back to the airport & have a ridiculous amount of luggage.

ENGLISH Begin your semester short story

Assignment: Write the first 2-3 pages of your story that will be worked on for the rest of the semester.

“What a bitch.” Viola complained to herself under her breath as her boss walked away. She willed herself to stare at her computer screen instead of glaring daggers at Bette's back. As soon as Bette was out of sight Viola opened her email. Her fingers flew over the keys as she typed a coded message to her best friend three cubicles away: SD strikes again...must have had bitch flakes for breakfast...give you details at ten.
Twenty minutes later the girls were sitting in their lunch room. Fluorescent lights flickering over their bent heads, a low-fat bran muffin split between them, neither of them noticing the crumb that hit the table like drops of rain.
“So I'm in the middle of the LES report when the She-Devil stalks over, tosses the Lancaster proposal on my desk and says ‘Do it over’.”
“What?” Lacey asked, her eyes widening. “Vi, you spent weeks on that. You even missed Thursday night drinks.” She said, shoving another section of muffin in her mouth. Thursday night drinks were really coffee or tea from Starbucks. Both girls had weak stomachs and couldn’t hold their liquor.
“I know and apparently it still isn't good enough.” Viola slumped back in her chair
“Did she say what was wrong with it?” Lacey's eyes darted to the clock over the fridge. There were so many clock nazi's around you couldn't get away with taking an extra minute over your break.
“I believe her exact words were,” Viola paused in order to compose herself in Bette fashion: head tilted back, nose in the air. “Lancaster proposals are always done in Edessa font not Times New Roman font. Everyone knows that.”
“Oh of course.” Lacey responded, rolling her eyes. “Yet three days ago she wanted it in Times New Roman. Typical.” Every since Bette was promoted from the floor to a corner office she had been pulling rank on Viola, despite Viola’s impeccable work record. Blame it on stereo-typical woman-on-woman competition if you want but Viola thought there was more to it.
Deciding to risk her boss’s wrath she made a b-line to the ladies’ room before going back to her desk after break. As she was struggling to get her dress pants re-buttoned she overheard what sounded like muffled crying. Viola knew that sound well as she had spent many afternoons nursing hurt feelings or a broken heart herself. Would I want to be interrupted, she thought to herself? Usually not. So she tried to wash up as quickly and quietly as possible. Red snake skin shoes under the bathroom stall door caught her attention on the way out. Those were familiar.
Viola puzzled over the shoes as she walked through the maze of cubicles back to her desk. She saw Jean poke her head up like a gopher trying to catch late comers. She’s such at time warden, doesn’t she have work to do? Viola quickened her pace before Jean could tattle on her. She didn’t need Bette’s classic “work time versus personal time” lecture this morning.
It was near lunchtime when Viola was finally finished reprinting and assembling the Lancaster proposal. She dropped it off then met Lacey for lunch at the front doors of their building.
“So I guess SD is trying out the “Dorothy” look today?” Lacey asked Viola as she adjusted her jade gloves then pushed on the doors to outside. The fall air was crisp on their faces, a welcome wake up after the busy morning.
“What do you mean?” Viola questioned back. They double check the pedestrian light then made their way across the road to Oliver’s.
“Didn’t you see those ruby red Wizard of Oz knock offs she was wearing?” Lacey snorted. “Okay they weren’t quite ruby red, or bejeweled but they definitely didn’t go with her pink sweater.
“Though,” Lacey paused, a thoughtful look on her face. “Her hair did look like it went through a tornado!”
That’s where I saw them, Viola realized. Then felt weird as it occurred to her that she had witnessed Bette crying in the bathroom. It made her more human like, and Viola was not used to seeing her boss as a human.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Da da da da da...


I am sitting here watching the minutes tick away cuz tomorrow I go to NEW YORK! Tricia & I are leaving today for Edmonton after she is done work...I am mostly packed except for the clothes I am waiting for from the laundry & my Ipod which I am charging/uploading right now... I hope I didn't forget anything important & that Megan and Tina (who are already in New York) are doing okay...
It's unbelievable to think I will be there in 24 hours...crazy!
I have been planning this trip for a little while...we bought the plane tickets on August 22 and there are 8 of us going all together: Nicki (friend from Grimshaw), Scott (Nicki's boyfriend), Melody and Vanessa (both friends from Grimshaw), Megan (my hair stylist - though she's coming as a friend), Tina (Megan's co-worker), and Tricia (a co-worker from Lacombe). So as I said before Megan & Tina are already there (they left on Sunday). Nicki and Scott are flying with Air Canada so their flight leaves an hour before ours...then the last four of us are flying together on Northwest Airlines.
When the four of us arrive we will be escorted to our Hotel (Novotel) via Limo [insert girly shriek here] and then we are sharing rooms (4 to a room, 2 to a double bed YIKES). Nonetheless it's will rock.

Diamonds N' Denim Gala

Last week I ended up winning tickets to the Canadian Paraplegic Association's Diamonds & Denim Gala for Saturday. I was driving to work, listening to the Zed and they said "if you want to play a game give us a call & be #9"...I like to play games so I called in. I was caller #3, so I thought, alright I'll try again, I was caller #7, I thought what are the chances, okay one more time...and BINGO I was caller number 9. Which is completely crazy cuz normally it's near impossible to get in once let alone 3 times!
I had to play the "wrong game" meaning they ask me a question & I had to give any answer as long as it's the wrong one...some examples:
Q: What color is a pink flamingo? A: Purple
Q: How many Olsen twins are there? A: 17
Q: What do you wash with shampoo? A: you butt
I think they asked about 10 questions & I got them all right (or wrong?). The prize was two tickets to the Gala worth $140. Score!
Katherine Alexander & I went. The evening's activities included: Cocktails, Dinner, Silent Auction, Live Auction, Door Prizes, 50/50 draw, dance & a chance at winning a $1500 diamond pendant by purchasing a key and trying it on a lock. Drinks were $4.50/each (but they had a variety of stuff available), dinner was decent (chicken cor de bleu & roast) with an excellent selection of desserts, I won a blue afgan in the silent auction, and a door prize (manicure set - weak, but cool just to win), Katherine won the same door prize.
I was surprised by the price that some of the items in the Auction went for (mostly that the prices were too low):
Sydney Crosby signed jersey - $1800
Edmonton Oilers' Jersey signed by entire western conference team - $1100
Signed Picture of 2006 Canadian Olympic Women's Hockey Team - $550
We didn't stay for the dance as it was a country band (& I'm not that into that). However it was an okay evening...though I think it'd be a lot cooler if it wasn't a denim Gala!

Thursday, October 12, 2006

ENGLISH Change the POV of a Published story

Assignment: To re-write the opening of a published short story from our text's using a different POV. The original story is "A Cap for Steve" by Morley Callahan (if you want to look up the original way it was written), written in third person limited in the dad's eyes. I re-wrote it in the son's eyes using first person. Enjoy!

I have never been sure if my father had a quick temper because we didn't have a lot of money or if we didn't have a lot of money because of my father's quick temper. Either way the result was the same: back then there wasn't any room to buy anything but the necessities. That can be pretty hard on a young boy in the school yard, but I knew better than to complain. Luckily my mom seemed to understand the need for me to have a proper childhood, so instead of being stuck with a youth robbing newspaper route, just to earn a few more pennies for him to pinch, I got to play baseball almost every afternoon with the neighborhood kids.

Baseball was heaven for me: the sun beating it's rays on my back, sweat dripping in my eyes, palms pounding with the force of ball after ball. But every night at dinner I could see that look on my father's face and I wondered how much longer mom could hold him off. I feared that look.
Then I found out about the Phillies coming to town. I wanted more than anything to go to that game. I approached my father about it carefully.


“Dad?” I almost whispered at the supper table that first night, pushing my green beans around my plate with my fork.

“Mmmmm,” was his vague response. He continued to stare down at his paper, shoveling dinner into his mouth without looking up. Taking a deep breath I focused on the grain in the fake wood paneling wall behind him and trudged on.

“Jimmy was telling me that the Phillies are going to be playing an exhibition game here...” I started, then trailed off as I realized he was glaring at me.

“Oh?” he questioned, then in a instigating tone “and I’d bet you’d like to go, would you? Huh? Well I’d like to have socks that haven’t been patched twenty times and a roof that doesn’t leak and -”

“Dave” my mom broke in. “He’s just a boy, don’t trouble him with those things.”

“Those things?” Father snorted. “Those things are our everyday life! You don’t get what you want in this world. The sooner he learns that the better.” Then he went back to his dinner and the paper so I knew the discussion was closed.

Mom comforted me about it when she tucked me in that night. She stroked my hair, trying to straighten that cowlick out, then brushed my tears away.

“I’ll talk to him for you honey,” she said kissing my cheek.. Then clicked the lights out.

She must have convinced him because a few nights later he came into my room before bed. His shadow danced awkwardly in the hall light at he wavered in the doorway.

“You still want to go to that ball game?” He asked. I could tell that uttering those words pained him even though he tried to hide it. Looking back I think that I should have let him off easy, told him that I didn’t need to go. It would have been better for both of us. But I was young and short sighted so instead I nodded enthusiastically.

As I laid my head down on my pillow that night I started to daydream about all the wonderful things that would come out of our game day: we’d get hot dogs and sodas, we’d bond over the excited of loaded bases, maybe we’d even catch a fly ball. I was still naïve that night and thought that maybe, maybe for just one day, we could pretend that we weren’t poor. I should have know my father better than that.