Musings about "Jon & Kate + Eight"

From the moment I saw the first documentary, I really enjoyed watching “Jon & Kate + 8”. I loved their realness as a couple (as opposed to scripted reality) and since I’ve always been interested in twins it makes sense that I would be fascinated by a couple that had twins and THEN sextuplets. The original documentary showed the family when the sextuplets were about 6 months old or so and then there was a follow up documentary some time after. It was so popular that they ended up getting their own series when they had two 6 year olds and six 2 year olds. The show only grew in popularity and they just launched season five on Monday.

I always related with Kate in the show because she is definitely the Alpha Female in the relationship and she never shyed about that. She has gotten lots of criticism for seeming very strict, grumpy and bossy with her kids and even her husband. However, I challenge anyone to take care of 8 kids under six with any less of a rigid schedule and attention to detail. Not to mention, if a camera and film crew followed me around, even now sans kids, I am sure I would look equally unpretty in my speech and mannerisms. The show has always been very good natured and fun and had the ability to lift my spirits. Both Jon & Kate have been criticized for “exploiting” their children by having the show. Personally, I think that Jon and Kate are really doing the best they can with an unexpected situation. By having the show they are able to provide experiences and financial security for their children that they wouldn’t otherwise be able to. They are also able to be home more with their kids, with the recent exception of Kate’s book tour. However, at least one parent is home which is more than most of society can claim (good or bad). If they didn’t do the show, they would likely have to return to Jon and Kate working crazy hours. In you read Kate’s book (which I of course did), she talks about how Jon got laid off when his work found out they were having sextuplets and how most of her pregnancy he was unemployed. Can’t really blame someone coming out of that situation trying to provide for their family the best they can?

In the season four finale, Jon complained about how he didn’t think they should do the show anymore because he was becoming “famous” for being a dad and he wasn’t comfortable with the fame part of the deal. What Kate pointed out and Jon fails to realize, is that they are really at the point of no return for fame. Stopping the show now will not stop the interest in the family and in my belief may only make it worse. At least in this situation they have some control over what access people have into their lives (they seem to have a lot of say over when the cameras are there as demonstrated when Kate didn’t have the cameras around for Maddy’s braces being put on).

In the last few months or so, Jon & Kate have been getting lots of publicity in the tabloids and such. The smear papers originally alleged that Jon was out partying and cheated on Kate. To which he replied that he simply had taken a photo with fans and now it was being used against him. The story has now morphed into this huge deal with headlines such as “Inside their twisted marriage: how Jon has a license to cheat” and other very insulting stories. If you watch the show at all, you know that there is no way Kate would have such a deal with Jon. I truly want to believe that he didn’t cheat on Kate but the whole truth of that isn’t really important. What appears to be important to Kate is that he had put himself in a situation where the media could make him look like he had. And I would assume that she thinks it wasn’t very fatherly of him to be out drinking and partying.

Before I even watched the season opener I felt really bad about the whole thing. Here’s a couple who are trying to provide for their kids and dealing with the added fame and pressure the best they can and they relationship gets dragged through the press. They are human beings, as Kate pointed out, with real emotions. The paparazzi, of course, have no conscience for the possibility that the kids (especially the 9 year olds) might see these scary headlines about their parents. It was sadly apparent during the season premiere that the media attention has really caused a strain on their marriage. Jon seems very different on the show, displaying a lot of defensiveness to both producer questions and statements made by Kate. I’d venture to guess that he is struggling with his identity right now as he isn’t “working” but is mostly staying home taking care of the kids. It’s hard to define your worth in other ways when you are used to a job defining your worth. Especially when his wife is still contributing by writing books and doing talks around the country, he seems bitter that she is out traveling while he is home with the kids. Kate eventually broke down during her question period, stating how when they first had the babies she was confident that the triple divorce rate of parents of multiples wouldn’t affect them, but how now she wasn’t so sure they would make it.

It would break my heart if this couple divorces. I really saw a lot of Tyler & my relationship in them and it freaks me out that they might split. Not to mention how the kids will be affected. Of course, if two people can’t get along its better for them to parent as two separate people than a couple, but I can’t imagine trying to raise the 8 kids split between two homes. It’s hard enough to deal with relationship issues, but when they are published in the media it would be almost impossible. I think I am going to try and send them some positive energy…maybe you could join me?

Hmmm, coincidences

So Kim, coincidently, wrote the following message on my facebook wall:
"Hey Crystal. Have fun at dinner tonight, order lots! I have a very specific reason for f/b you. Tehya is needing the Bumbo chair and will only have a small window of opportunity to benefit from it. As you know, the chair is very important to me and is an excellent tool for babies. Pls contact me with solutions as to how you will be retrieving it for me. Thanks."

I've thought about many snarky ways to reply to her (in my world where I speak my immediate thoughts). Here are some of my thoughts:
"Well Kim, option 1 is that you drive 3 hours to Medicine Hat & pick it up. Option 2 is that my brothers sends it to you collect. Option 3 is that you suck it up & re-buy it. Consider it a $80 storage fee for the 16 months your shit was stored at my house. It can be extra special as its probably the first item you sprung for yourself."

What do u think? Last I checked Tyler didn't think I should worry about it so I'm going to ask him to deal with it so I don't cause any family drama on his bday. Besides I shouldn't be stressed & pregnant right?

As I type I am sitting in the parking lot of Tyler's apartment so that I can have birthday dinner & cake with him. Last night when the baby moved/kicked I saw my belly move which freaked me out but was cool. I thought it'd be really cool if baby moved for him on his bday.

So yes that means I'm in the Edmonton area Danielle. I wanted to coordinate meeting up with you/her but I have to be back in Red Deer tonight for work tomorrow & I knew /you/she had a doc appt today.

I was able to hit two baby stores in Edmonton though: Echildren & Baby Sam. Both had quite a bit of stuff. I think have to run it by Tyler, but I really like one set.

Annoyance - Need Input

Back in around Spring of 2007, when Tyrone and Kim split up and moved into seperate places, she unloaded a bunch of baby stuff onto us. Most noteably they were clothes and a bumbo chair. When she gave us the stuff she was assuming that she wasn't going to have any more kids so she told us to go through it, keep what we want and donate whatever we didn't want. Which I did as when she gave us the stuff we still weren't really thinking kids yet and I wasn't going to keep stuff I wasn't too into. My brother had just had Chaise so I took the bumbo chair to him in Medicine Hat. He didn't end up getting any use out of it as he didn't see Chaise during that timeframe but that's not really the point.

Anyway, when Kim and Tyrone announced they were pregnant (with Tehya) in September of 2008 they basically asked for all their stuff back. Which for me was kind of salt in the wound of the fact that we were trying for a baby at that point and here was two undeserving, non-dating people having a baby. So whatever, I gave back all the stuff I had, not including the Bumbo chair as I don't have it (my brother does). Two days after Tehya was born (circa March 18) Kim really started to bug me to get the Bumbo chair back for her, bragging about how advanced Tehya was already and how she'd need it soon. I had a trip planned to Medicine Hat on March 31st for a baby shower so I planned to get it back then. Well when I left I forgot it there. So now everytime Kim talks to me or she's me she asks me to get it. Since my brother doesn't have a lot of money I didn't really want to ask him to mail or send it on the bus. However, the last time Kim asked me she said "maybe if you don't get it back you should buy us a new one and then just keep that one for yourself". Um, what? I don't think so. So now I don't even want to try to get it back, just to be spiteful. My Grandma came down last weekend on the bus and I did ask my brother to send it with her but he either forgot, doesn't know where it is or was too lazy to grab it.

If they had given us all that stuff with the understanding that we were to give it back I think it'd be one thing (or really if it was anybody other than them). But now it just really burns me that she's acting like this about it. And to be honest, I really don't even buy into the whole Bumbo chair great thing. What do you guys think?

Grad, RV's & Dentists

Tyler & I went to Grimshaw for the weekend for a few different things. One of the things was my cousin Alisha’s grad, so my Grandma who lives in Medicine Hat, carpooled with us from Red Deer. Tyler worked on Friday so my Grandma & I met him in Edmonton and from that point on he drove. We weren’t very far out of Edmonton when Tyler got pulled over for speeding! The cop clocked him going 148 km in a 110 zone so his ticket was a whopping $247. I was more concerned that the cop was going to suspend his license as I have heard they can do that if you are doing over 150km. It seems like a waste of money (especially in light of me wanting that 3D ultrasound for only $175) but both Tyler & I tend to speed so I believe in accepting the potential consequences of your actions. Normally I try not to do over 130 in a 110 zone but it really depends how risky I feel that day and if it’s a nice day and the road is straight I tend to go faster. I don’t have cruise control on my car so its very easy to speed in it. Anyhoo, that was the start of our weekend LOL Since we left so late we didn’t get to Grimshaw until about midnight.

My cousin’s grad was @ 2pm in Peace River. Each grad was given 6 seats for family and then ‘overflow’ got to sit in the bleachers. My Mom & Grandma were given prime seating and my Dad & I sat in the bleachers. Their theme was Alice in Wonderland’s tea party which was kind of crazy but kind of cool. I hope someone got some good photos of the decorations because they were amazing but I forgot my camera at my parent’s house (on the table right by my purse so I wouldn’t forget it, blame it on pregnancy brain). That was about all that was amazing about the grad…there were 59 graduates and the entire ceremony took almost 4 hours! They had an intermission shortly after 4pm at which point my Dad & I snuck out because our backs had about had it at that point. We had already seen the diploma & awards part which only took about 45 minutes. The rest had been speeches by long winded people who didn’t matter: rep from the school board, rep from the catholic board, old principal, current principal. Wow…I don’t overly remember my grad ceremony but I know it wasn’t that long. We had three speeches by students (so more entertaining & relevant – P.S. one of them was me) and I’m sure a speech or two from teacher people but it wasn’t that long. Though one cool thing I did like during their diploma part was that they had a PowerPoint of each student with a baby photo, grad photo and a photo in between (if they submitted them). They also had a few lines from each grad read by the MC about their most memorable moment or future plans, etc. It added some entertainment to this portion, even for me who only knew of two of grads.

Another travesty I observed involved everyone’s beautiful gowns and suits. The grads wore caps & gowns for the first “half” of the ceremony until the intermission. I noticed at this point that everyone had ditched their caps n’ gowns and there was a grand march in the program for after the admission but I of course missed it. Later that evening my family had a BBQ for Alisha and I noticed that she had changed out of her (presumably expensive) gown into a party dress. The grads had an ‘after grad’ party that night but I guess it wasn’t fancy enough to wear their gowns to. So from the information I gathered, the only time they wore their dresses was at the ceremony and only maybe an hour and a half was where you could see the gowns. Its bad enough at a normal grad to only get to wear you dress for part of the day & then that night, but to not even have that night seems SO wasteful. At the very least my cousin got some professional photos taken prior to her big day wearing the dress that she handed out to all of us. P.S. Her dress was beautiful.

Our secondary reason for going to Grimshaw was to pick up the Fifth Wheel my parents are giving/loaning us. Tyler’s Mom & boyfriend Robert also came down on Saturday as we didn’t have a hitch for Tyler’s truck yet and we were also concerned that his truck might not make it up the Peace River hills pulling it! Since my parents don’t have that big of a house and we had an abundance of company this weekend, Tyler & I got to test drive our new Fifth Wheel by spending the night in it. The bedroom is in the ‘fifth wheel’ part and was better than my memory of it: the step to it wasn’t as high as I thought, the opening was larger than I remember and the height of the space was more than I remember. All of which were great things! I didn’t feel claustrophobic at all and it wasn’t a struggle to get my big butt up there. Being in it also got both of us excited about our future camping expeditions this summer.

One of the drawbacks of having an RV though, is that people seem to think that its their space to sleep in also. I want to initiate a strict rule that nobody else gets to sleep in it, as one of the main reasons I wanted it was to have privacy & space when we camp. If we just have a rule that no body gets to sleep in it then I don’t have to explain myself when there are people I don’t like. It’d be one thing if I invited someone to go camping but…I just don’t want to at this point. Technically the RV sleeps six, but that is assuming 2 to the bedroom space, 2 on the couch & 2 on the kitchen table. Already Mary has suggested that Kira & Tehya can sleep in it when we go camping. Uh, no. I didn’t birth them so why should I have to get up at 6am (or several times in the night) while their parents get a pseudo vacation? I want to be able to go camping with people as I choose or go just the two of us to have some “us” time before baby.

Speaking of baby, I can hardly believe that on this upcoming Saturday I will be 24 weeks! That is six months if you’re counting. It’s totally surreal still. The baby is moving a lot more so that is cool. I’m excited for the first time Tyler actual feels the movement (which hasn’t happened yet with him being gone so much). I have to admit that I am finally starting to get a baby belly, though I am super self-conscious of it as I feel that it sort’ve just looks like extra fat. I’ve been meaning to take pictures of myself and haven’t gotten around to it which is terrible. I’m hoping today’s the day that I finally take some…

One last story for you guys. On Monday, I was super stressed because I had a cavity that I had to take care of, I had already postponed the appointment twice due to temping jobs and I knew it was just getting worse so I had to suck it up and go. Not only do I totally hate freezing but I wasn’t sure if it was the smartest move to do while pregnant. My braces dentist said to for sure avoid the first trimester which we did, but I still wasn’t too sure about it. My braces dentist has sold her practice and is weaning herself from office so the dentist doing the work was new to me. He reviewed my chart (which says I’m pregnant) and asked me if it was causing me any pain (which it wasn’t). He then suggested we do one of two things to avoid any possible risk, 1) try to drill and fill the cavity without freezing as it was a smaller, surface cavity on the tooth behind my vampire tooth or 2) wait until after I delivered baby. I had done one cavity without freezing before, on a front tooth as I had heard from my mother that it was worse to get the needles in the roof of your mouth than the actual drilling pain, so I opted to try option one.

He said to just let him know if I was in any discomfort. There was a few moments where it really hurt but I would say it was about 85-90% pain free. He didn’t drill as deep as he would have with freezing but he was pretty sure he got all the decay and there’s just a chance it could possibly fall out. I was super pumped about the whole experience because when I get frozen, I stay frozen for like 4, 5 or more hours. It pretty much ruins my whole day. Plus I completely hate needles. I did have a braces check and my braces were adjusted which causes pain for a day or two or so, so I didn’t come out of it completely unscathed. However, that means I am one step closer to the ol’ braces coming off so it’s all good. I am really close to closing the gap between my top & bottom teeth, which I believe is my last step so they could be off soon. That will be super exciting I’m sure.

I’m totally used to my braces right now, they only bother me when they get adjusted, but it’ll be fun to be done with them as everyone is always asking me when I’m getting them off. I have another appointment on June 4th to see where I’m at then. My personal goal is to have them off by July, as that will be the two year anniversary of when I got them put on. I was only suppose to have them for a year, but I have no one to blame but myself for not wearing my elastics to move my teeth. Before I forgot to wear them all the time, my teeth were moving right on schedule.

Stay tuned for pictures to be posted...

Announcing...a new Bly!

Kyla & Michael has their baby! Their new son, Logan Dakota Bly, was born a bit before his due date on May 25th @ 5:30am. He was 8lbs 4 ounces and 21 inches long. Kyla said the birth was a positive experience and she even did it without any drugs...crazy girl!

Here's a few pics of the new addition...doesn't Kyla look amazing? This is her at home one day after giving birth.

And then here is Michael, the new daddy at the hospital.

Weekend Plans

I'm gearing up for another weekend headed to Grimshaw. My initial reason for going to Grimsville (as I like to call it) was to support my cousin Alisha who is graduating from High School this year. I remember when I graduated, it was THE most important event so I thought it would be nice if I could be there. We aren't super close, even though I did baby sit her when she was little, but she's a really good kid from what I know.

Not sure if I blogged about it before, but my parents are 'loaning' us their 5th Wheel RV indefinitely. They have only used it once in the last two years and we were looking into getting something we could afford so they offered for us to take theirs. They actually inherited it from my Grandpa back in 1992 or so who had bought it in 1989. My dad said you could probably count on both hands how many times its actually been used so its still in great condition. It still has the orginial tires even LOL So I'm not much of a camping girl but I am much more inclined to enjoy it in an RV that is all our own to use where I can escape with some privacy so I'm excited. I'm also nervous as I know they are a lot of work to set up & take down etc. But it's all good! It's an 80s RV so its decorated in blues & pinks which I prefer over browns and oranges by far. It's also nice to know where it's been so to speak and also sort of special that it was my Grandpa's. I actually broke it in with him back when I was like 7 and he first got it! I was going through a memorabilia box just two nights ago and found a picture from one of those trips. I'm going to scan it & post it here cuz i'm just too cute for words. :-)

My Grandma (mom's mom) is coming with us to Grimshaw as it's my mom's brother's kid who is graduating. It'll be nice for her to be there as well. In fact, my Grandma will be arriving in Red Deer in about an hour and I haven't showered since after swimming yet so I'd better run. I hope my Grams (as I call her) doesn't care that my house is not in tip top clean shape. I just totally ran out of time this week.

Coupon Sites & Baby Facts

My friend June (who is also a new reader to the blog - 'hey june!') hooked me up with some great, Canadian coupon sites. Since its always nice to save money, I'm sharing the sites with you all:

-www.flyerland.ca

-www.gocoupons.ca

-www.save.ca

-www.pampers.ca (to collect points & sign up for coupons)

-www.redflagdeals.com

-www.smartcanucks.ca

I also got the following website from Readers Digest I think: http://www.mommysavers.com/

Now for some fun baby facts that I got emailed today:

-The most popular day for babies to make their entrance? It's now Wednesday. (This is the first year since at least 1990 that Tuesday wasn't the biggest birth day.)

-In 2006, August hosted the most U.S. baby births.

-In 1970, the average age for a first-time mother was about 21. In 2005, the average age of first-time moms when they gave birth was 25

-The number of babies born to unmarried women is at an all-time high, totaling more than 1.6 million and rising almost 8 percent in 2006. This total is 20 percent higher than in 2002, when an upswing began. And it's 7 percent higher than 2005. The percentage of all births to unmarried women in 2006 was 38.5 percent, an increase from 36.9 percent in 2005.

-To put the results of this trend in perspective, here are the numbers: There are 9.8 million single moms living with kids under 18 in the United States, up from 3.4 million in 1970.

-In 1980, four in ten out-of-wedlock births were to teens, but in 2006, just over 2 in 10 were to teens.

-First-time moms' work status during and after pregnancy, 2001 to 2003:

Percentage who worked during the month before they gave birth: 80 percent. By contrast, between 1961 and 1965, 35 percent of first-time moms worked during the last month of pregnancy.

Percentage who were working by the sixth month after they gave birth: 55 percent. By contrast, in the early 1960s, the percentage for first-timers was 14 percent.

-The number of cesarean deliveries in 2006 rose to 31.1 percent of all births, a 3 percent rise from 2005 and another record high. The c-section rate has climbed 50 percent in the United States over the last decade.

-Sixteen percent of preterm and 24 percent of term and higher deliveries were induced in 2006.

-Number of births in 2006 that were the mother’s eighth or more: 18,674

Longwinded Complaining

I especially made sure I wrote this blog as I felt that I was challenged to by my husband, Tyler. When he heard Kim, Tyrone and company were coming this weekend he said "oh there's a blog for sure." So here it is honey, just for you, dripping with negativity! I can't help it...

I've officially decided that Kim is either manipulative or two-faced. I'm not sure which is a better description of her behavior. I'm also not necessarily saying it's a conscious behavior but it’s definitely happening. She and Tyrone displayed several other annoying behaviors as I will rant about below. I also am posting a pic of the four of them (and Mary) from Tehya's first day so that you can see what the faces of idocracy look like (in case you haven't seen them before).

Saturday was Kris (the stepmom’s) 60th birthday so a bunch of us were invited out to Kris & Willie’s for the day, supper & evening. I wasn’t feeling well so I thought it best to keep my germs to myself as long as possible and got there at about 5pm. Tyler went out at noon. I also find that I have less patience and am more irritable being pregnant so I have less tolerance for Kim and Tyrone (KT for laziness or K for Kim for laziness) than normal.

First annoying behavior of KT, is how they seem to think if other people are around that must mean we want to babysit their kids so that they can have fun and do whatever they want. Luckily being sick I had an excuse for why I couldn’t hold Tehya all day long (or at all). However that didn’t stop Kira from running loose on the acreage with no supervision for most of the time I was there. She was stomping on well covers (dangerous), playing in black dirt (messy), going in & out of the house constantly and running around outside without a jacket on. Nothing major but certainly a string of minor offences that should have been nipped in the bud.

Second annoying behavior of K was how she likes to drink alcohol and breastfeed. According to the Canadian Family Physician website, the correct behavior is “Nursing mothers who choose to drink alcohol during the postpartum period should carefully plan a breastfeeding schedule by storing milk before drinking and waiting for complete elimination of alcohol from their breast milk after drinking. Motherisk has created an algorithm to estimate how long it takes to eliminate alcohol from breast milk.” Whereas Kim’s plan was to drink (beer & wine) however much she wanted and continue breastfeeding the whole day (as well as on Sunday). Not only do I think this behavior is disgusting, couple it with the fact that KT are SO concerned about fluoride in water and MSG etc, and it just seems grossly hypocritical.

Third annoying behavior of K was how she kept sprinkling in to conversations how she is going to have another kid. The last time we talked about her getting pregnant again, at her baby shower, she said that she had to first have surgery to remove her fibroids and then she could focus on getting pregnant. Her deadline was to be pregnant before 39 or give up. Fibroids, were one of her many medical complaints during her pregnancy. I didn’t know anything about them and couldn’t be bothered to find out before or really even now to be honest with you. Anyway, her baby shower was only a month ago and now suddenly I don’t hear anything about waiting, just how if it were up to her she’d be making a baby right now (gross imagery by the way).

Fourth annoying behavior is how K feels the need to freak me out with pregnancy and labor and post-labor stories. I squashed it early on this Saturday by saying, “oh well I have Placenta Previa and if it doesn’t correct itself then I’ll be having a pre-schedule c-section.” That shut her up for a while.

Alright so onto the manipulative or two-faced business. First of all, Kim very much likes to be negative. I couldn’t recall the last time we had a positive conversation that wasn’t complaining about someone (Tyrone, Kris & Willie, a mutual friend)…fuelled by her its hard not to get sucked into the complaining. So anyway, it was about 11:30pm or so and Kira was still wide awake watching movies (oh but K assures us that Kira sleeps on a strict schedule at home, NOT. I find it hard to believe that a kid who is on a very consistent sleep schedule of being in bed around 8pm, would be able to stay up to midnight or later each & every night they visit other people). The sleep thing is annoying behavior number 5 I think. Tehya was also off & on awake. Kris, let us know that she was tired and was going to bed. The guys were all out in the garage playing ‘poker pool’ or something that I don’t have any interest in playing. I mentioned that it was about twenty to eleven and Kim was all like “Omigod it is really? Oh, I really wanted to be home hours ago so the kids could be in bed.” So after visiting some more and her making no move to leave, I said that I was going to let Tyler know I was ready to go. I was sick after all and it was now 12:23, so I let Tyler know that it was time to go home. His response was “we’re almost done”. Okay, but I’m 5 months pregnant, tired, sick and it’s a 30 minute drive home…hello! I turn to Tyrone and tell him (as per Kim’s instructions), Tehya is in her car seat and Kim is ready to go. His response? “Yeah well we’ll leave when I’m finished this game.” Wow, does this seem inappropriate to anyone but me? Your 2 month old is sitting in her car seat ready to go and your 2 ½ year old is still wide awake but should be in bed, baby mama is ready and they can all wait until you’re done your pool game (which they had been playing since ten by the way).

So I was a little pissed off as I don’t like being talked down to (by Tyler) which he certainly seems to do more when he’s with his dad & brother, and not impressed with how Tyrone acts so I left the garage. I decided to load up the car (we had our dogs there) and give him a few minutes to wrap up his precious game. Meanwhile, Kim goes over to the garage and gets her car key from Tyrone. She complains to me as we’re loading up the cars about how she is going to have to get up with Teyha ever 2 hours and how Tyrone doesn’t help much etc (though thinking back she just a few hours before was talking about how Tyrone pretty much takes care of Kira now so she can deal with Teyha). It takes a bit to get this all organized, and Kim even goes back to the garage while I stay with the packed up kids in the car now, and no guys yet. We decide to drive over to the garage & park in front of it (as they are on an acreage)…I would have liked to have left Tyler there to prove a point but I didn’t. I go inside, as it is now about 12:50 (half an hour later for those of you who are counting) and the game looks exactly the same as it did when I had come in the first time. So now I’m really bitchy and want to leave now and am even more bitchy as I hate looking like the bitch in front of his family and I’m like “is the world going to end if you don’t end this game?” Tyrone says “Well maybe you guys wouldn’t be in such a hurry if you were out here playing with us.” That’s logical? With his 2 ½ year old and 2 month old? Whatever. So I snarkily reply “Tyrone do you get up with Kira in the morning?” (as she is notorious for waking up at 5am or 6am no matter how late she goes to bed) and he says “Oh Fuck Off Crystal” followed by something like “you have no idea what I do”. Which, I don’t know about you, but I loved getting sworn at. Kim, just stands in the doorway of the garage and doesn’t say a word. Then when she decides to walk over, Tyrone says to her “you could have put Kira to bed here” and Kim says, super sweetly (and not at all mad at him it seems), “oh honey she’s a bear right now. She really needs to get back and to bed.” And that’s about it. So now I’m feeling played. Like she just got me all riled up, to come in here and be bitchy, and then she walks in all understanding and perfect wife like. And I can’t help but wonder if she just did that on purpose?

The next day, at Jim & Maureen’s there were a few more displays of annoying behavior. About 30 minutes before dinner was to be ready, Kira (2 ½) walks up to Maureen’s pantry and swings the door open, points and INSISTS on eating “that”. Well not only is this the first time Kira’s been to Maureen’s (first of her memory anyway), but it’s almost dinner time. I don’t think that kids should behave in this way, I think they should have manners enough to have asked their own parents if they could have something to eat before helping themselves and demanding it of the hostess. Needless to say, Kira was given what she wanted (as almost always) and then proceeded to eat maybe two bites of hot dog for supper with a ½ cup of ketchup. She didn’t touch the rest of her plate, but she was rewarded with a chocolate after her uneaten dinner! And then she proceed to grab at the desserts out on a plate and put her grimy hands all over them. Again, manners?

Annoying Behavior Number Six: At one point during the day, Kim made some display about taking Tehya downstairs to visit with Kira and Tyrone (who was getting her PJs on) and all she got was “beat on”. Tehya by Kira. I’m not that comfortable with physical abuse as it is, but a 2 ½ year old on a 2 month old? Come on women. Anyway, I just shook my head internally as it seems a play for attention (again manipulating people).

Annoying Behavior Number Seven: This was followed, a little while later, with Kim making a big display about how she needs to pump (as she is not breastfeeding technically. She is pumping breast milk into bottles and then bottle feeding) and she can’t as she’s the only one who can look after Tehya and oh can’t anyone hold Tehya for a bit? Well I was still sick and said so, Tyler just plain wasn’t interested, but Maureen foolishly volunteered even though she hadn’t even finished her supper yet.

Kim obviously likes to play the victim but I’m sorry, she is 37 years old and deserves all that she gets. If she is dumb enough to procreate with a loser like Tyrone and continue wanting to procreate with him then quite honestly I think that should be a crime punishable by law not rewarded with sympathy and pity and generosity.

Annoying Behavior Number Eight: We were discussing baby names (and how I have no clue) and Kim says “whatever you do, please don’t use Tyrus as that is Tyrone’s name he is set on for our boy”. First off, yuck I would never use that name as it sounds like a dinosaur. Secondly (and I didn’t think this until after), but I should have responded with “oh but am I allowed to use Evan as that is my actual husband’s middle name?” as that was the middle name they have picked out to use with Tyrus. Thirdly, not only should she not be having another kid, she should not be having another kid with Tyrone and if they do have another one, I wish another girl upon them to see how they handle that. Kim made a comment during the day, which I can’t remember verbatim, but along the lines of “if Crystal has a boy then that takes the pressure off of me to have another baby.”

As for if Kim is manipulative or two-faced, this weekend was only one example of the many I can see in hindsight. Many times I have questioned if she tells the truth very often or if she makes things up for drama. And she likes to complain about stuff wtih Tyrone but then she'll defend to the death what a great "man & dad he is". I don't have the energy to care anymore and I'm seriously considering putting in more boundries in our life and seeing them less. Everytime I see them or interact with them I come away feeling very negative and judgemental and this is not the kind of life I want. I am striving to be more positive and I really don't see how interacting with them improves my life?

Temping, Proper Speech and Other Updates

Temping

So far I have done some temp work at two different offices.

The first office was suppose to be one week plus one day & got extended an extra week. Smaller office but 3 women that work there and try/tried very hard to make sure they included me on all the coffee breaks etc. I'd say they like/liked me because they asked me to come back for today to help cover the phones and two separate weeks in the summer for sure. The work is decent, taking maintenance requests via phone & email and then transfering them into work orders via their computer system. In the down time, there is equipment to enter into their new system so I always have something to do which is nice.

The second office was for 3 1/2 days and was nicely located only 3 minutes drive from my house. It was for an rig company that is on spring breakup so their office was super quiet. In fact, not only did they encourage me to bring a book or something to do while I was there, but they also left me in charge of the entire office once they had "made an appearance" for the day and decided to go home. So for the most part I was by myself from at least 10am to 4:30pm. I like myself so I didn't mind that too much. Especially since I was allowed to do non-work stuff, I'd much rather not have an audience for that! I ended up working on my heritagemakers.com online scrapbook stuff which was awesome. As an added bonus, they insisted on paying me for rounding up each day's hours so I got paid for 4, 8, 8 & 8 hours instead of 3.5, 7.5, 7.5 & 7.5. That's 2 extra hour of pay...actually the lady wanted me to lock up early on my last day so I got another 1/2 hour for that day.

The first job paid $15/hour & the second paid $14/hour. Not what I'm used to getting paid for sure but better than retail pay & much better than no pay staying home so I'm happy enough with that. Especially since the jobs are relatively low on the challenge meter. While I don't love working, I am enjoying the sense of accomplishment it brings to my day as well as the money in my bank. I also enjoy the social aspect of meeting new people. An extra perk to the temp work is that I have a greater appreciation for my time on the days I am not temping!

Proper Speech

There are a couple words that I have somehow developed the bad habit of pronoucing wrong and it brings my husband great joy to point it out everytime I say them. The first one I say is "supposably" versus the correct "supposedly," and the second one is "suffercate" versus "suffacate". I think "suffer-cate" makes more sense as I am usually suffering when I say it LOL

I was watching "Jimmy Fallon" and Jeff Probst (the host of 'Survivor') totally used "supposably". Since we have a PVR digital cable system I instantly hit record so that I could show Tyler that even if I was wrong, at least I was in celebrity company (and not just ditzy celebrity company). It then spawned a conversation where I googled "supposably vs supposedly" to see if anyone had written about it. Turns out supposably is a word, however it is NOT synonomous with supposedly so I was still using it wrong. Also turns out that there are a lot of people who list the incorrect usage of this word as one of their pet peeves. Interesting.

Even though I am not perfect at grammar & word use myself, it still annoys me when I see certain words used incorrectly in very public places. Your/you're is very commonly used wrong. Recently I also saw a sign that read "No payments till July". The till they used refers to a cash register when I'm sure they meant 'til short for 'until'.

Other Updates

Not too many plans for this upcoming weekend. My mom, grandma & sister were suppose to come down so that my sister could stake out 'Marvel College'. However my sister accidently booked off the wrong weekend (she & many other people assumed next weekend was the long one) and my Grandma's boyfriend is very sick so they all decided to post pone it. I don't think I've spoken on it, but my Grandma's boyfriend Ross - who is a super awesome guy & very good for her - has cancer for the second time and is not doing very well. Both of the past Christmas' it was thought that he wouldn't make it through, and though he has, it seems he doesn't have much left in him now. The extra stinky part is that it was only in 2001 that my Grandpa died and my Grandma had to watch him suffer, sick for many years also. She's an incredibly strong lady but it doesn't seem fair that she should have to go through that twice and so soon. Life ain't about being fair though!

So since my family ditched, we are somewhat obligated to attend Tyler's stepmom's birthday supper. Tyler's uncle on his dad's side is going to be up with his son and son's girlfriend as well and his birthday is within a few days so they are sort of doing a combined celebration. Tyrone, Kim & family are going to be around also, but THANKFULLY they are staying at someone else's house for the weekend so I am mega pumped about that. Must have built up some good kharma :-) Though when Tyler & I were talking about this weekend, Tyler's like "oh you'll be seeing Tyrone & Kim...guaranteed blog now". Am I that predictable or are they?

Next weekend, Tyler & I are going to the thriving metropolis of Grimshaw for my cousin's grad and to pick up a Fifth Wheel RV from my parents! Last year we were tossing around the idea of getting some sort of RV but we couldn't really agree on what to get (super nice as per me, super cheap as per Tyler) nor did we really have any extra bucks. My parents said they had only used their's once in the last two years so we were more than welcome to HAVE it if we wanted it. I am all about free stuff but Tyler was hesitant as nothing is free from his family (there are either financial costs or some other "strings" involved). So it's a 1989 I believe, about 24 1/2 feet long, and is decorated in dusty blues/pinks rather than oranges & browns. My Grandpa (on my mom's side) bought it new, used it a few times, then passed away and then my parents inherited it. It's in pretty good condition for its years as it hasn't been used much, except that the fridge stopped working recently so we'll have to get that fixed. I'm excited to do some camping this year since I hate tenting it and I'd so much rather have my own space then stay in Tyler's mom's fifth wheel. Now Tyrone & company can stay in Mary's RV all they want and we don't have to wake up at the butt crack of dawn like his family does. We can also go off and do our own camping without anyone else...mostly I just like camping food.

The major challenge will be saying 'no' to other people that I don't want to share my RV with and figuring out if Tyler's truck will be able to haul it.

A Blog from my Friend Kyla (somewhat relating to us)

DISCLAIMER: Please don't refer to this specific topic on Facebook as Kyla doesn't want to stir up any more trouble with her landlords until it's all sorted out.

May 6, 2009

Being this indirectly is linked to Crystal, I thought I would share a little story that Crystal suggested putting on her blog.

This morning at 10am, we had our landlords coming by to let the ATCO-Gas meter-reader in to our home to check the meter. This has been something they’ve done every few months (or monthly in some cases) for the past 2 years we’ve been living in our current residence. Well little did we know this particular time was going to be such a gong show!

Michael for his birthday on April 29th received an 8mm missile looking thing (I’m not even sure what it’s called exactly but it’s about a foot tall and looks like a mini-missile) from Tyler. We had it in our back room sitting on the floor next to our soup (as I don’t have a “home” for it yet) and this ATCO gas guy came in, saw it and freaked out! He stormed out of my house and was threatening to call the cops and telling my landlords if they did not do something he was going to take things into his hands, etc, etc. He just was freaking out through and through (I wasn’t at the house for this, just the lady landlord).

She called me and just asked if she and her husband could come by when I got home from work and I agreed. At this point I had no idea what had happened, I just assumed that the gas guy didn’t come, and they were going to be checking the meter themselves as they’ve done that in the past. So I get home, and around 4:30, they show up and I start doing my usual chit-chatty stuff with them and didn’t even notice the “not happy” looks on their face. Well they go straight into our furnace room and he taps the thing with his toe and was all “what is this?” (again, I’m still oblivious to his expression) and I was like “oh that? Michael’s buddy gave that to him last week for his birthday” and I babble about it for a second, and I am thinking he just thought thinks it’s cool or something and they are still there just to check the meter.

Well I was wrong! He proceeds to tell me the story about the gas guy and then he’s all “this is bad, this is very bad, you guys messed up big here” and my landlords are just furious! So I apologize and explain that it’s not real and it’s just a decorative piece. Michael had been sent home early due to lack of work (which I told him later was definetly a blessing from above because I don’t know that I could have dealt with this on my own – especially since I had no idea what this thing really was!) so I went and made him get out of the shower and explain to our landlords that it’s not a “live” weapon. Well that wasn’t good enough. They told us they had no choice but to call the police and S.W.A.T and whomever else had to be around. I straight up said that’s fine, do what you have to do – because really, we have nothing to hide!

So we said we’d call for them being it was our house, and then they suggested we just go to the station instead. We hopped in our vehicles and drove to the station where I went in and explained to the policeman what had happened, and we just wanted them to confirm for our landlords there was no problem with our ornament. Anyways, the police honestly seemed to care less about the situation. They looked at it and said that of course they have to assume its “live” until further clarity, but they would look into it. They were so casual about it I felt so much better. So we wrote our name/number/address down on a STICKY-NOTE (tells you how much of a “big deal” this was right? They did not even file a report!) and we went on our way.

Now, when we got into the parking lot, I went over to my landlords and said “okay, so are things alright between us now?” and they just huffed and said “I’m just not sure yet.” and jumped in their vehicle and drove off. They still anticipate that our house will be searched and this is “serious”.

I immediately called Crystal to tell her our the story. She told Tyler later, and then Tyler called Michael later to apologize/explain the story behind it. We hold no bad feelings toward Tyler as frankly it wasn’t a bad thing he did giving him it. Tyler called to confirm though that it was definetly decommissioned – his dad had found it some odd 25 years ago, and when he found it he personally took it in to get decommissioned just to be safe. Tyler has had it for 9 years, and they were cleaning house and Michael had admired it last time we were there, so Tyler gave it to him as a gift.

Where I stand:
-This caused me exuberant amounts of stress which is NOT good for someone 36 weeks pregnant.
-My landlords were extremely rude and harsh and would not accept any form of apology we offered.
-I feel strongly they want to kick us out.
-I am not sure if I did anything wrong – like, was the ATCO guy out of place? Was the landlord out of place? Were we in the wrong to have this in our home? What are my rights here?
-Now that I reflect on it, with some other “issues” we’ve had with our landlord/upstairs people, I find they are acting more like parents than landlords, and I’m not sure I want to deal with them any longer.
-This is a completely attack on my person (at least that’s how I am taking it unintentionally) and I’m really upset about it.
-I do appreciate where they are coming from, but the way they have handled things is not so impressive.

Was feeling "green"...

so I changed my template up. Nice to spice things up once in a while. Also I am killing time at my temp job LOL

The Great Diaper Dilemma

Cloth versus Disposable Diapers
To be honest, I had never really considered anything but disposable diapers until my father-in-law's wife Kris asked me what I was going to do. I was bored on her acreage when she asked (at Easter) so I used my blackberry to google it. There are definitely economical and environmental reasons to go with cloth but is that reason enough to out weight the perceived convenience??

Cost, Convenience, Time, Etc:

-I hate doing laundry and our washer & dryer are in the basement whereas baby's room is two floors up, upstairs.
-I am very grossed out by poo (baby, adult or animal produced). Not sure if I can stomach whatever is necessary to do cloth diapers.
-Cloth diapers have come a LONG way from when I was a baby. They are more than just a facecloth with clothes' pins nowadays.

-"Disposable diapers, especially the super-absorbent AGM type, generally require fewer changes and less change time than cloth diapers. They also are convenient for travel and day-care use. Cloth diapers take up less purchase time, but they require additional time for washing and folding, if laundered at home."

-There is an initial start-up cost to doing cloth diapers. My friend Katherine has a friend Melody in Lacombe who has a company called "All Natural Babies" (search it on facebook to check out the catalogue) which shows some of the cloth diaper lines. Most of the diapers seem to be adjustable to work for the entire diaper age range. They price ranged about $15-23 dollars each. I'm not sure how many diapers you would need though?? Most estimates say it'll be about $2-300 dollars to start up with cloth.

-"...disposable diapers can cost between $1500 and $2100 over the course of the three years it takes the average child to be toilet trained," Diane Weathers of Consumer Reports said."

-"The basic numbers show that you will spend approximately $50 a month for disposables (with wipes) compared to about $40 a month for washing your own cloth diapers or about $50 a month for a diaper service. So the acquisition of the diapers themselves shows cloth to be cheaper, but overall cost of care is not very different"

Enviromental Considerations:

-"Throwaway diapers make up the third most common item in our landfill spaces, behind paper products and food containers. Since the average disposable takes about 500 years to break down in a landfill, the proportion of diapers there is ever-increasing."

-"The amount of water to wash diapers is about the same as it is for a potty trained child or adult flushing the toilet." says one source while another says "Generally, creating waste in landfills by using disposable diapers is no more environmentally harmful than using water and energy to wash cloth diapers," Weathers said.[Weathers is from Consumer Reports]

-"Although some diapers are touted as biodegradable, the lack of oxygen in landfills means disposable diapers can take a long time to break down."

-"Judging the relative environmental impact of each method, then, means deciding to what extent solid waste is a more important problem than water use and wastewater disposal."

Ideally, I would like to shadow someone who uses cloth diapers and see how it affects their day. However I don't see that being realistic. I'm still on the fence about this topic but leaning towards disposables at this point.

Sources:
http://www.healthunit.com/article.aspx?ID=10271

http://www.perc.ca/waste-line/articles/diaper.html

3D Ultrasounds: FAQ & Internet Information

I facebooked a girl I used to work with & she said that "most" of her ultrasounds were 3d and she didn't pay anything for them as they were doctor ordered. I'm not sure how many she had, but she obviously had multiple ultrasounds that were 3D. If the exposure effected her baby in any way, I'm sure I would have heard about it by now!

From: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/3D_ultrasound#Timing_of_3D_ultrasound

"Gender determination is the most accurate at 20 weeks and beyond, with a rate of 95%, as reported in the medical literature based on ob/gyn visits generally done at 20 weeks."

From one of the Companies that does 3D Ultrasounds: http://www.uc-baby.com/en/why-uc-baby/faq.php

Is 3D Ultrasound safe?
When it comes to safety there is no difference between 3D and traditional 2D Ultrasounds. Because both ultrasound methods use same kind of sound waves.
The last 50 years of research shows no harm to the developing baby from ultrasound scanning. Ultrasound is one of the safest means available for scanning unborn babies. The greatest risks arising from the use of ultrasound are the possible by inadequately trained staff and using poor equipment.

What are the benefits of 3D or 4D ultrasound?

Because the 3D pictures and 4D videos are more life-like, there is better and stronger bonding between parents and the baby. Increased bonding has been shown to improve mother's care of herself and therefore of her baby. Also 3D ultrasound increases the sense of maternal well-being and enjoyment of the pregnancy.

Can I find out the sex of my baby during the 3D ultrasound?

Yes, you can. The sex is determined after 20 weeks and the accuracy while not 100% is higher with 3D ultrasound. It depends on the baby's position, amniotic fluid around the baby, location of the cord and the mother's body type.

From: http://www.askquestions.org/articles/ultrasound/

"To date, studies of humans exposed to ultrasound have shown the following possible adverse effects: growth retardation, dyslexia, and delayed speech development. But only one effect, a higher rate of left-handedness among boys exposed to neonatal ultrasound, has been observed in at least three separate studies. "

"In other words, doctors accept that there may be risks, but they believe that medical ultrasound remains a beneficial practice when performed by a trained operator for diagnostic purposes. According to Dr. Joshua Copel, Professor of Obstetrics and Gynecology and Pediatrics at Yale University, “It’s impossible to prove ultrasound is completely safe, but if you’re getting medically helpful information, then the tradeoff is reasonable.”"

"The biggest wildcard in the politics of ultrasound — even bigger than big money — is the anti-abortion movement’s embrace of the technology. Calling the images a “miracle,” activist newsletters and magazines abound in reports of women who change their minds about abortion after seeing 3D videos of their unborn fetus. "

From: http://www.ob-ultrasound.net/

"It has been over 40 years since ultrasound was first used on pregnant women. Unlike X-rays, ionizing irradiation is not present and embryotoxic effects associated with such irradiation should not be relevant. The use of high intensity ultrasound is associated with the effects of "cavitation" and "heating" which can be present with prolonged insonation in laboratory situations.

Although certain harmful effects in cells are observed in a laboratory setting, abnormalities in embryos and offsprings of animals and humans have not been unequivocally demonstrated in the large amount of studies that have so far appeared in the medical literature purporting to the use of diagnostic ultrasound in the clinical setting. Apparent ill-effects such as low birthweight, speech and hearing problems, brain damage and non-right-handedness reported in small studies have not been confirmed or substantiated in larger studies from Europe. The complexity of some of the studies have made the observations difficult to interpret. Every now and then ill effects of ultrasound on the fetus appears as a news item in papers and magazines. Continuous vigilance is necessary particularly in areas of concern such as the use of pulsed Doppler in the first trimester.

The greatest risks arising from the use of ultrasound are the possible over- and under- diagnosis brought about by inadequately trained staff, often working in relative isolation and using poor equipment. "

Obviously there is conflicting opinions out there. The gist of what I'm reading is that a) there is no evidence directly linking ultrasound with negative effects but b) since they are unsure of the risks, the official world does not support the 3d ultrasounds for non-medical purposes. Ultimately, as with EVERY decision about baby, you have to weigh the pros/cons for yourself.

Contemplating 3D/4D Ultrasounds

So right off the bat, I feel very hypocritical even considering a 3D/4D ultrasound because about 6 weeks ago I had absolutely no interest in getting one. I thought that they looked kind of creepy and were very expensive and that I would easily like to spend that money on something else.

However, in light of us not finding out gender at the 18 week ultrasound as I had hoped, I found myself considering this option. Here's the info:

-I can get in for May 15th (a Friday so Tyler can be there too) in Red Deer at the "Central Alberta Fertility Clinic",

-for $150 you get a 30 minute appointment & 5 - 6 pictures printed off,

-for an additional $25 you can get a 15 - 30 minute DVD made of moving video clips,

-they ARE there for your entertainment so I'm hoping they'd be a little nicer than the other lady,

-as an added bonus you are suppose to arrive with an EMPTY bladder.

I do have another regular ultrasound scheduled for July 3rd (also a Friday for Tyler). I am not 100% satisfied with knowing that because:

-that is a whole 2 months away and only about 2 months or so before baby is due (2 months ISH depending on circumstances),

-there are still no guarantees that we can find out gender at that appointment. The appointment is for them to identify the location of my placenta at that point and see if its still near or covering my cervix and I can already see them being so concerned with that, that they won't bother with gender.

In addition to that, I still feel as if I am not yet connected to baby. I've been going through a bunch of parenting magazines that I've stockpiled (a whole other story) and I keep coming across advertisements for the 3D/4D which are getting me more and more on board. One of the points they made is that it helps you connect with baby & I could see that. It also says that they use the exact same technology & frequency of normal ultrasounds so that makes me feel better about the exposure factor. I also feel like I was "ripped" off of a positive experience at my last ultrasound and want to have a positive experience to reflect on for our baby.

If you're like me and you're wondering what the difference between 3D & 4 D is...

-3D is because you have depth in addition to height & width,

-4D is when you actually have the motion as well (so a video verus a still picture).

I'm still not 100% sure though as cost is still a factor for me, though it is less expensive than I thought it would be and I AM a scrapbooker so the extra photos could come in handy. Another big factor is of course there are still no guarantees that we'll find out gender at this appointment. So I think I need to decide if there is more elements to this that I'd enjoy other than just gender. They could also be wrong about gender (as a normal u/s tech could be), as I just heard a story directly from a girl who was told she was having a boy. Then ended up with another ultrasound (as they found out their baby had cystic fibrosis) and at that u/s were told girl. They had a girl. I'm not sure if she was here in town or not. I'm going to find out though!

Ugh, pregnancy is just the beginning of making endless decisions. At this point the good outweighs the bad for me but I haven't specifically discussed it with Tyler yet. I'm going to try to remember to talk to him tonight about it.

Oh & I googled "images" of 3D ultrasound and they are better than I remembered them being. However I think the further along you are, the better they'll be & I'll only be about 22 weeks (which is the earliest they do them).

To Vaccinate or Not To Vaccinate, that's one of the questions!

DISCLAIMER: My intent was to write a blog outlining the pros/cons of both sides of the coin, however I find I am way to much on the one side to fairly write about the other side. I apologize to those who were maybe looking for more info on why not to vaccinate. You won't find it here, sorry!

One of my favorite TV shows, "Law & Order" is famous in my books for writing shows that are very current in terms of what is going on in reality. Very "art imitating life". A week or so ago "Law & Order SVU" did a show on a baby dying. It actually starred 'Hilary Duff' (shout out to Kyla!) as a young mother. The story started out being about her being an unfit mom but it turned out her less than 12 month old baby died from the measles. They traced the measles to a woman who didn't believe in vaccinating her toddler who had gotten the measles and recovered. The problem was, measles is highly contagious and in the meantime, when he wasn't displaying any symptoms, she had taken him to a park where he had passed on the sickness to other kids who were too young to be vaccinated.

Here's some facts I learned about measles from Law & Order (I'm assuming they are true LOL):

-the virus or whatever causes the measles stays in the room after the infected person as left for 1 hour,

-it is contagious up to 200 yards away,

-you can be contagious for 21 days without having any symptoms.

Those are some scary facts! Especially since while yes, your kid could just get over it, they could also die from it. One of the important points the episode brought up for me in the whole vaccinating debate is that the decision you make not only effects your child but also other children around you. Are you willing to have the possiblity of other children's deaths & illness on your hands?

Jenny McCarthy is one of the leading voices on not vaccinating. Her son developed autism and she believes it was from vaccinations. Last I checked her son no longer displayed any autism symptoms due to a diet regimne she had him on. While I do love to take advice from celebrities, I've decided to research other opinions on the web...

I also think it's important to mention that one of my good-friend-from-growing-up's nephew has autism and when I mentioned Jenny McCarthy at our last social connection, my friend rolled her eyes and shook her head. It seems that Jenny may not be a voice for EVERYONE in the autism community!

Reasoning & quotes from those who do believe in Vaccinating:

-"largely because of the movement by a determined minority against vaccination, long eradicated diseases are gaining a new foothold, making vaccination as important as ever."

-"doctors are so worried about a potential public-health crisis that 22 medical and advocacy groups recently formed the Immunization Alliance in order to make sure that kids get immunized."

-kids can die from the diseases the vaccines prevent. If your child does get autism, he/she is still around for you to love & hold, if he/she dies they are not there at all.

-"The notion that childhood vaccines cause autism is a belief based on anecdotal experiences that is not backed up by the facts. There is now good scientific evidence that such a relationship does not exist. But not vaccinating children, or delaying to do so, can potentially have serious individual and public health consequences. The collective time lost from school, the individual misery, and the formidable complications (brain injury, deafness, and others) make it worthwhile to once again make those diseases obsolete."

-"Measles cases in the U.S. are at the highest level in more than a decade, with nearly half of those involving children whose parents rejected vaccination, health officials reported Thursday.
Worried doctors are troubled by the trend fueled by unfounded fears that vaccines may cause autism. The number of cases is still small, just 131, but that’s only for the first seven months of the year. There were only 42 cases for all of last year."

-"When a major drop in rates of immunization against whooping cough occurred in the UK in 1974, there was an outbreak of more than 100,000 cases and 36 deaths by 1978."

-Diseases that vaccinations help prevent: measles, polio, smallpox, diphtheria, chicken pox, meningitis, mumps, whooping cough,

Reasoning from those who don't belive in Vaccinating:

-believe vaccinations are linked to autism, aggression and other learning disabilities (though there is allegedly no concrete evidence of a link),

-"immune function obviously didn’t achieve perfection through vaccines, and I suspected immune function was on the decline. Everyone’s always sick. These are my unscientific, not-supported-by-statistics, observations about the people around me. "

-"I think that parents need to really think about medical advice that's one-size-fits-all, whether it's for a vaccine or something else, they need to look at their individual child"

A friend of mine & I were discussing how hypocritical some of these non-vaccinators can be. A friend of her's gets very "passionate" about her beliefs and how "wrong" it is to vaccinate yet she sees no problem with smoking marijuana and breastfeeding (let alone smoking marijuana period).

Evidence - it appears that some of the studies that supported a link between autism and vaccinatations have since been retracted due to "conflicts of interest" coming out. It's always interesting how people's personal motivations can motivate "scientific results"!

Which ever decision you make or I make is sure to have pro's & con's. If one decision had no con's then the choice would be obvious. All we can do, all we can ever do, is to do CREDIBLE research, trust our instincts and hope for the best. I feel that it is VERY common for opinions to be passed on which utilizes on scare tactics more than evidence (a.k.a. the mania that is Swine Flu right now), especially with the internet as an available tool for any person to spread their uneducated opinion like a wildfire.

Personally, I like to be a proactive person and I believe the proactive choice in this situation is to vaccinate. That was the decision my mother made for me and I never got the measles, mumps, polo etc. A few generations before me they didn't have these vaccines and millions suffered or died from these diseases. I also believe that this decision also helps the general public health and I'd like to be a positive contributor to society out of education then a negative contributor out of fear. I am also very skeptical of anything that appears to be more of a "hippie" attitude bucking the system than conventional wisedom. I don't believe in living my life in fear that some fictionalized man in a suit with money is buying political opinions and FDA approvals. However, that being said, if Michael Moore did a documentry on Vaccinates, he definitely has the power to sway me LOL That's the way the scales have tipped for me, what have/will you decide?

I also can't help but feel that this topic closely shadows the religious beliefs regarding blood transfusions etc, where certain people believe that they'd rather put their trust in their God then medical science. While I agree that medical science is more of an art than a science, I also feel that I'd rather do EVERYTHING I could to stack the odds in my favor.

Additional Comment: It's kind of like smoking. Yeah it's your decision, except that when you do it (smoke or not vaccinate) that action impacts the rest of the world (second hand smoke and increased disease breakouts respectively). One of the arguments of non-vaccinators is that it doesn't affect other children however it does:
-the ones who are too young to get vaccinated yet,
-those who the vaccine was unsuccessful with,
-those who are unable to get vaccinated due to medical reasons (such as an auto immune disease).

Interesting Articles:

Consequences of Not Vaccinating (Apr 6/09): http://momblog.santarosamom.com/default.asp?item=2360272

Rare Sickness Kills Child; Officials Urge Vaccination (Jan 23/09) :

http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/01/23/hib.vaccine.cdc/index.html

Sources:

http://blogs.consumerreports.org/health/2008/09/to-vaccinate-or.html

http://cdc.gov/vaccines/

http://www.vegfamily.com/vaccines/deciding-not-vaccinate.htm

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2002/12/04/earlyshow/contributors/emilysenay/main531638.shtml

http://www.kelownaparents.com/?p=247

For more information on vaccines in Canada, visit one of the sites below:
http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/im/index-eng.php
http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/hl-vs/iyh-vsv/med/immuniz-eng.php
http://www.cps.ca/caringforkids/immunization/VaccinationChild.htm

Follow up with Dr.Phil(pot) & Cool Website

So the majority of my appointment was spent talking about how I now have a low lying placenta. Which means that instead of being toward the back or top it is close to the cervix. So if it is still that way closer to my due date then it'll be an automatic c-section (which doesn't bother me all THAT much). For those that are interested in the bio lesson: the placenta is what nourishes the baby. Normally you would want the baby to deliver and then the placenta to follow. If it's in the way of the cervix, then I would have to c-section as baby needs to come out through the cervix.

I needed to schedule another ultrasound for the end of the 2nd/beginning of the 3rd trimester to check on it so I'm booked in for July 3rd. Two months away but better than nothing. Oh & if I end up having any bleeding I'll need to do an ultrasound right away. And I'm suppose to abstain from intercourse for now cuz it could irritate my cervix and cause bleeding (and yes I've selfishly considered not listening so that maybe it will cause bleeding and I'll get in sooner. But Tyler refused). She's also referring me to an Obstetrician just to be cautious and get his opinion (as I'm considered a little more high risk now). Most likely she figures he'll just give us some direction but tell me to keep seeing Dr.Phil (who's just a general practicioner not a specialized OB). I haven't googled anything yet about it but I'm sure there's a wealth of info out there.

C-sections don't scare me anymore than actual labor does. In fact, even though they are surgery, I think they'd be better in the long run as I have heard SO many horror stories about long labors and then followed by c-sections. Then I could guarantee baby was born in September (sapphire birthstone) as my due date is the 20th and I think pre-scheduled c-sections are done about two weeks early? Maybe they could even do a tummy tuck while they're down there?

She also mentioned that they baby is head down which I'm not sure if that's an issue or not as she didn't elaborate. Tyler had a large head for his size as a baby so I've been pretty freaked about that for a while!

Dr.Phil also informed me that they are changing how they are doing things a little as there is so many doctors retiring & semi-retiring and not doing deliveries anymore. Instead of having one doctor I'll have a group of doctors and when I go into labor (if that's the cause) then it could be any of those doctors who are scheduled for that day. That's how they do things at my friend Kyla's clinic and I'm actually surprised that doctors didn't come up with this idea sooner: Dr.Phil shared how difficult it can be if you take a day to help one of your patients deliver and then you have to try to take all those missed appointments and re-fit them into an already full schedule. So instead each doctor would have pre-set aside days of when they are doing deliveries (or on call for deliveries I guess). However all of that would be irrelevant if the Obstetrician decides he wants to keep me under his care.

I've also been referred to a cool website by a friend. It has recordings of pregnancy & baby related discussions. I haven't listened yet but I'm sure it's worth checking out:

http://www.pregtastic.com/