I finished reading a book called "Diary of a Mad Mother-To-Be" by Laura Wolf. Turns out it is a the sequel to "Diary of a Mad Bride" but I read it anyway without knowing what happened in the first book. There's an old adage that says "don't judge a book by it's cover" but I do. All the time. I can't help it, I like to read books that are pretty, cute, enticing...so I picked this one up and it was everything I wanted it to be! An entertaining, easy read with a little bit of pregnancy advice mixed in (it’s research remember?). So here’s what I learned (a.k.a. an exert from the book):
Top 21 Things No One Tells You About Pregnancy
-No sushi
-Twenty-four-hour “morning” sickness
-Forty weeks (basically ten months) of pregnancy [not the mythical nine]
-No aspirin
-Dog nose [a.k.a. you smell everything within a mile of you]
-“Glow” is [actually] sweat
-Excessive flatulence
-Heartburn
-Ungodly constipation
-CRC (Can’t Remember Crap)
-Public petting [as in everyone and their dog wants to touch your belly without asking]
-Final erosion of person identity [you are now the baby’s carrier]
-Incontinence [inability to hold in urine when sneezing, coughing, etc]
-Broken capillaries
-Difficulty breathing
-Difficulty sleeping
-No hot tubs
-Spongelike water retention
-Clumsiness
-“Due date” is a figure of speech
-It’s worth it
P.S. - This most definately is not meant to be an advice book, it's purely fictional.
Top 21 Things No One Tells You About Pregnancy (a pregnant woman's response)
ReplyDelete-No sushi - this I read about in the "What to Expect..." book. No raw ANYTHING, no unpasteurized milk products, no "soft cheese" (like Brie, Camembert, etc.) I'm quite upset about the cheese thing cuz I LOVE Camembert!
-Twenty-four-hour “morning” sickness - this depends on the person. I have had pretty much no morning sickness to speak of. Thank God!
-Forty weeks (basically ten months) of pregnancy [not the mythical nine] - I believe it is actually 39 weeks, but yes...it's actually 9 and A HALF months. :)
-No aspirin - cuz it thins your blood. No pain killers of any kind unless they are doctor-approved. (They say ONE acetaminophen a.k.a. Tylenol is okay ONCE if you are in horrible pain and can't stand it.) No "make you feel better" drugs whatsoever...cold medication included. You are made to suffer through it all while pregnant! (Oh yeah...most of these things I'm confirming to be fact are because I read it in the "What to Expect..." book. They should rename it the Pregnancy Bible.)
-Dog nose [a.k.a. you smell everything within a mile of you] - This is true. Everything that I hated the smell of before, I hate 100 times worse now!
-“Glow” is [actually] sweat - ask me in the summer when I am 7 - 9 months pregnant! lol. So far, I've enjoyed being warm through the winter! :)
-Excessive flatulence - Sorry, but true!
-Heartburn - Everyone says so, but I still have no idea what heartburn feels like. So I can neither confirm nor deny.
-Ungodly constipation - I'd actually say general inconsistency in the "plumbing". But I think this also depends on the person.
-CRC (Can’t Remember Crap) - yes, indeed!
-Public petting [as in everyone and their dog wants to touch your belly without asking] - Sigh. True.
-Final erosion of person identity [you are now the baby’s carrier] - LOL...this is hilarious. But it does seem that everyone is more concerned with the baby than how you are doing!
-Incontinence [inability to hold in urine when sneezing, coughing, etc] - I don't think I'm this pregnant yet (at 4 months), but I'm sure my time will come.
-Broken capillaries - yep...don't blow your nose too hard or it will bleed. I actually had to look this one up cuz I couldn't figure out why I kept having minor nosebleeds.
-Difficulty breathing - Another one I had to look up! I definitely experience shortness of breath at times. And I can't do the stairs like I used to!
-Difficulty sleeping - AGGHHHH! CAN'T GET COMFORTABLE! WAKE UP 50 TIMES A NIGHT! ACHING HIPS, ARM FALLS ASLEEP, CAN NO LONGER SLEEP ON MY STOMACH LIKE I HAVE MY WHOLE LIFE! :)
-No hot tubs - Huge "no-no". Nothing that will raise or drop your body temperature is recommended. But contrary to popular belief, baths are FINE (as long as they're not too hot).
-Spongelike water retention - Again, I am not far enough along to really know about this, but I have had a few days where my rings are practically cutting off all circulation to my fingers.
-Clumsiness - I was a bit of a klutz before, but yes. Drop something, pick it up...oh, dropped something else, pick it up...trip on something while picking that item up...etc.
-“Due date” is a figure of speech - From everyone I've talked to, that seems to be the case. The baby will come when it's ready, NOT when you expect him/her. They don't care about your schedule! lol.
-It’s worth it - Don't know yet, but I ABSOLUTELY 100% believe it! :)
Diana