"I can't stand makeup commercials. 'Do you need a lipstick that keeps your lips kissable?' No, I need a lipstick that gets me equal pay for equal work. How about eye shadow that makes me stop thinking I'm too fat?" - Maria Bamford
"I don't try to be a sex bomb, I am one." - Kylie Minogue
"They say it is better to be poor and happy than rich and miserable, but how about a compromise like moderately rich and just moody?" - Diana
"I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once." - Jennifer Unlimited
"I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on." - Roseanne Barr
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