Some of you may think this is weird but I am jealous of my mother-in-law's relationship with my husband. They had 18 years to build a relationship before I showed up so naturally they would have a closeness that I cannot match. However sometimes "they" just feel weird together. My sis-in-law Kim and I have a discussions about it as well as I have had discussions with a few friends of mine.
An example: in my wedding pictures I have a photo of my husband dancing with his mother and he has a look on his face that you would expect when he is dancing with his wife. What should I make of this? That the look carried over from our dance? Except that he doesn't have that look in our dancing pictures...
Tyler and I got into an arguement the last time he was home. He works in Fort McMurray and is carpooling with a guy from Edmonton so he drives through there. I asked him if he was going to stop at his mom's everytime he goes through (cuz technically it's not on the way) and he says "Why not it's only 15 minutes away?" I said cuz "that's 15 more minutes you could have spent with me before you left!" Considering he is home only on the weekends and sometimes not every weekend. However for the last few weekends Kim has given us stuff to drop off at his mom's requiring him to stop there.
When I tell/advise Tyler to do something he never trusts that I am a credible source. But then if his mom says it than he runs out and does it. Example: I told Tyler that it would be a good idea for him to get a credit card to build himself some credit (he's really good with his money). He scoffed at me saying "I don't need a credit card". Then his mom tells him the EXACT same thing and suddenly it's a good idea!
I think some of the creepy vibes I get from them is due to the fact that Mary (the mom) has consistenly chosen bad men for herself and Tyler feels like he needs to "save" his mom. But she's the parent and she should have been protecting her children not the other way around. Even a few years back, Mary got laid off at her job and Tyler lent her money. He was maybe 20 at the time? Why should a 20 year old have to lend money to his 40yr+ mother?
One more rant...I feel like Mary is very superfiscially driven. As in she bases a lot on people's looks. She continues to bleach her hair blond and still owns leather pants. Example: one time we went out for her birthday to a karakoe bar...there were 3 skanks singing "earl" by the dixie chicks (my least favorite band) and Mary says, pointing to a skinny blond girl "I wish she was my daughter. I always wanted a daughter and she is so cute." Um hello? What am I?
Thoughts?
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I truly believe what you are saying. The funny thing is, it is always the women trying to make a family of their own, yet the men keep crawling back to mommy dear!
ReplyDeleteI don't think it will ever change, but we need to keep trying to enforce, inform and drill it in their minds that, they (men) have started their own family, and need to stand by their loved ones. Parents will always be our parents, we are not telling them to leave them behind, but seriously grow up and move on, you have taken the first step (getting married), but how about standing behind your spouse, the one you love, married and live with :)
Cat