So weddings are both one of the best times in your life and one of the worst times. It's the best because you are celebrating your committment to the one you love. They are the worst because everyone else in the world thinks your wedding is about THEM. I got married in July 2005 so my wedding was some time ago but the pain of the way some people acted still really bothers me. I have lots of stories about the time preceeding my wedding and the event itself but I'm planning on publishing a collection of short stories so you have towait for the book...LOL
CASE #1: I am bringing it up because a good friend of mine, Kyla (hey Kyla!) got engaged recently and she is already being stressed by other people's needed. A friend of her's Becca, immediately upon hearing about her engagement asked "So am I a bridesmaid?" Which is a fairly rude question if you are not willing to accept both plausible answers. My friend Kyla was torn over what to say as she is limiting her party to two woman and had 2 others on the top of her list. I encouraged her to go with her instinct and let her friend down gently. Becca reacted by telling Kyla she wasn't a good friend and that if she wasn't a part of the bridal party that she obviously wasn't wanted and wouldn't be coming to the wedding at all. Well I don't know about you but that would haven totally changed my mind and I would have asked her to be in my wedding...NOT!
CASE #2: My friend Diana was excited by her engagement and emailed a friend to annouce this engagement and to ask if she would be a bridesmaid. This friend was also getting married but hadn't asked Diana to be in her party (which was cool by Diana). The friend reacted by not responding to the question or annoucement but asking Diana if she'd be in her party...I'm not sure what came of that exactly but I'm fairly certain the friend wasn't in the party. (P.S. - If I got any part of this story wrong Diana please let me know!)
More cases to come but, I pose the question: why are people so selfish?
People are selfish because, it's human nature to be. HOWEVER.. some people cope with it better than others.
ReplyDelete(btw, Hi crystal! lol)
And, I think people need to know that it's not the be-all-end-all to be part of a wedding or to just be a guest. It's so retarded how people overreact. If i ever do that to someone, PLEASE hit me.
-Kyla
Yes Crystal, you got the story right. And to answer your question on what became of the situation: I was thrilled to be asked to be her bridesmaid, and accepted (although I must say...no one even took any pictures of me at the wedding with the rest of the bridal party, or the bride for that matter; it was all very strange). However, since she NEVER even acknowledged my engagement or any feelings whatsoever in regards to it, I withdrew my offer (she hadn't even acknowleged that either). She ended up being unable to attend my wedding even as a guest because she had a baby 3 weeks prior. All I wanted was a simple, one-word "congrats". Is that too much to ask? We have since drifted apart. But that's okay. I don't think we were meant to stay friends. :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with Kyla in respect to it being human nature to be selfish. But we need to put that aside when it comes to other peoples' special occasions. For example, would you throw a hissy fit on someone's b-day because they are being sang to and given gifts? NO...it's THEIR birthday!!
One final note to Kyla: I hadn't heard you were engaged! CONGRATULATIONS!! I wish you all the best!
- Diana