Updates

Nothing major going on but many minor things so just a general "updates" title :-D

First, I bought a Magic Bullet. For though of you who've been to certain parties, NO i don't mean one of those bullets. I mean the food processor that you've probably seen the infomercial for.

So far, you know, I am not really that happy with it. I really believed the infommerical when is subliminally suggested it would change my life! My main goal when I was considering purchasing it (which has been since before I went to Greece by the way, cuz I remember that the infomercial was on the plane ride and I was watching it for the second time) was for it to help me eat healthier by eating something like smoothies. Well, texture has always been a major category for me when it came to how I like food and I don't think I like the texture of smoothies. However there are a "wide" variety of things my Magic Bullet can make for me so I am going to google some recipes and see if I can't fall in love with it. That being said, this morning I tried to make a Mocha and it was...messy. I had just taken the blender part out of the dishwasher (which its allowed to do) but forgot to make sure the seal was still in place and apparently didn't seal it properly so I dripped coffee mocha all over my counter and the machine...more than once. So the machine does not get any points for making me grumpy and feel stupid, first thing in the morning!

Tomorrow I start my six day temping job. Pretty excited to make some money, meeting some people and hopefully feel good for being amazing LOL It's going to be quite a change for me (8:00am-4:30pm) compared to my schedule now but I have been practising getting up earlier all week. I still haven't been up and ready for the day before 8am but I'm hoping it'll go good. I decided that I need a new pair or two of dress pants, as the ones I have fit, but feel tight. Well, I was not in the right mood for shopping and after hitting both Reitman's (including the one I worked for, for one week) and then Walmart, I was only successful finding one pair that weren't what I was thinking but I liked the price ($14). I don't really want to go blow a bunch of money before I even make some (cuz that defeats the purpose and I'm trying to be better behaved) so I'm hoping the pants I have now will hold out for a least one more week. There's a lot of "hope" happening in this paragraph it feels like?

Hmmm, pregnancy wise I am feeling about the same. A little more tired they the "books" are saying I should feel but then I just read that could be related to low iron (which I've not been doing anything to improve my iron eating) so maybe I'll try taking the iron supplements again (they gave me uber nausea before). I have been having a lot of lower back pain which started travelling to my glutes (butt) & hips. I went to my massage therapist on Monday & then to the chiropractor today and felt much better just moments after the adjustment. Any action that required back muscles was really painful before (like turning in bed, or getting up from the couch or chair) so here's hoping that'll hold out!

My chiropractor also practises hypnosis so I've made an appointment for a session regarding "Pain Free Labor". I am all about any & all tools I can put in my belt to have a more enjoyable pregnancy experience and I really believe in the power of the mind so it only makes sense for me to do the hypnosis. For those who don't know much about hypnosis, or shy away from it, for me it's mostly just a guided version of meditation. It's getting yourself to a point where you can work in the background of your mind to help focus your thoughts. Today, during the chiro adjustment, Baker (that's the chiro's name) said that it's about switching your focus to labor being something you can't wait for, versus something you fear. I've always been very aware of my hypno sessions (I've done a few of them before) so stay tuned for posts about that sometime after the 25th which is when my appointment is.

As for exercise, I went through March with little to no effort down that avenue. With Tyler gone to work in Fort Sask as of last week, I feel like I have more hours in the day (for some bizarre reason) so I went swimming yesterday and today I took my dogs for a walk. I was taking anti-depressents before I got pregnant and planned to take them throughout the pregnancy but found they made me really nauseated so I haven't been on them. I really need to find other ways to keep my moods in check throughout at least the next 6 months and I've read and been told more than a few times that exercise releases endorphins. I haven't really benefited from any endorphin-happy moods yet but here's hoping! I've definitely noticed that I've been more likely to cry over nothing, grumpy & irritable (which is how I felt before I started taking my anti-depressents) so with the added factor of pregnancy I really have to be aware and watch myself. It also means I am more likely to get post partum depression so I need to be prepared for that as well. Good times! LOL

Today is the 8th and it is only 2 weeks and 1 day until my next ultrasound. I am putting a lot of pressure on that ultrasound as I really want to find out our baby gender. At this point I am leaning more towards wanting a boy for a few (probably unhealthy) reasons:

1) It'll help me avoid some of the hand me downs from Kim & Tyrone that I don't want (due only to the negative energy I associate with it).

2) I'm a retardedly competitive person and I feel like having a boy is a little bit more of a triumph for a few other reasons:

a) I'm reading the "Other Boleyn Girl" which takes place during the Henry VIII's time and I think some of it's seeped into my subconscious,

b) Kim & Tyrone want to have another baby which I'm sure they wouldn't be saying if baby number two was a boy so i'm hoping if I beat them to the punch maybe they'll stop their nonsense,

c) I think it would bug Tyrone if we (a.k.a. Tyler) had a boy before he did and since Tyrone always bugs Tyler about being a little sister I think it would challenge his manhood if Tyler produced a boy.

3) Right now we have two male dogs that I am VERY bonded with and it feels more natural to have another boy enter the house. Our cat is a girl and she drives me insane and I'm worried that our kids will follow the same pattern LOL

4) We already have a very cute, feminine purple room upstairs that we use as the guest room. I feel that the "office" room which is now going to be baby's room, needs to be masculine to balance out that end of the house.

5) It's the first legitimate baby on either side of our families (i.e. from a couple who is committed to each other, stable in their life & a planned pregnancy).

That being said I am just so excited to have any baby that I of course will love & cherish (that sounds gay) whichever baby gender we are having and I firmly believe that there are no mistakes and we will be given the right baby for what we need in our lives and for what that baby needs to do in life. So here are some reasons why having a girl wouldn't be so bad:

1) There are more female names that I like (and to choose from) than male names.

2) There seems to be a whole lot more girly stuff out there and a lot cuter things for girls (i.e. clothes, decorations, scrapbooking stuff).

3) Tyler isn't one of those male chauvenists who thinks boys are better (unlike HIS father).

4) I don't care for the "Nelson" last name so I don't really care if it lives on...

5) It would probably bug Willie (Tyler's dad) as he doesn't have any grandson's yet (though Kira is such a boy that she might as well be).

6) My family is hoping for a girl so they can buy girly things as my brother has a boy already.

Either way, it'll be a piece of the puzzle as we have only girls on Tyler's side, and so far only boys (my cousin is also having a boy) on my side. I just totally hate this in limbo part and I can't imagine feeling this for 6 more months! I'm glad technology has come far enough that I don't have to suffer through this much longer LOL Once we find out, I feel like I'll be more confident in designing the baby room, picking out names and even bonding with baby as I know one more piece of his/her identity. And I hate using "it" so that'll be a nice change.

Overweight & Pregnant

I really, truly desired to be in shape before I got pregnant. Now I didn't desire it enough to actually do the things required to get in shape, but you know, mentally I wanted it. One of the reasons is of course, health. But another reason of mine, is much more vain.

You know that adorable belly bump that some mom's are lucky enough to get? Well as of right now, if I have one, it's covered in a layer of fat. As the days and weeks and months progress I would much rather have a firm, obvious bump to show off then some extra belly rolls that could easily be misinterpreted as the results of my latest binge. So far, I have actually managed to lose a few pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight (somewhere around 10lbs as of today) so I am happy about that, and I can still where my normal jeans so far. So be happy about that right? Oh & for the record I am not dieting or anything. I am simply trying to make better decisions most of the time. And I'm having a lot of aversions to foods so I'll cook them and then not want to eat them. Or eat a bit and not want to see or smell that food again for at least a year! The only thing that has been safe for the most part is fruit and some sweets. Hopefuly baby takes what it needs, right?

The thing is, I've been admiring everyone's baby belly pictures for a while and I desperately want my own to show off. Some of you who are on facebook, may have noticed that I haven't put anything on there yet regarding the pregnancy. If I had something adorable to show off, it would probably be on there. But for the most part I think I look the same so I am waiting...most likely the first thing that'll make it on there, is our ultrasound pics for April 23rd.

Now of course, everyone's experience varies and not everyone has the body type that lends itself to the crazy bump that I visualize but damn it, I want it. It's still early days, I'm on the tail end of 14 weeks right now, so I'll be careful for what I wish for, but right now, I'm putting it out there that I want that belly LOL A lot of things are called "beautiful" during pregnancy that in my opinion, are not beautiful (they're kind of gross). I just want to look my most beautiful, pregnant - except for maybe my wedding day!

Now I am off to do something somewhat fun: shop for two different baby showers, both of which I am attending this weekend. The last time I went baby shower shopping I was attending two showers in the same weekend again...weird. Anyhoo, my friend Twylia is having twins due in May (one boy & one girl - yep I'm jealous) and she has one boy already. My cousin's girlfriend Megan is having a baby boy due in April. I kind of have a male mentality when it comes to baby showers, so I hope they are not too "fruity" or gay so to speak!

P.S. I am going shopping with less guilt because Tyler got a job again. Starts Monday! And I have an interview on Friday for a temping agency. Woo hoo!

A Good Debate: Share your baby names before baby is born?

For names I have always believed in keeping them to ourselves. I thought I had maybe blogged on this topic before but I couldn't find it in my fast search so I'll have to do it from memory. Reasons why I don't want to share my possible baby names (once I figure them out):

1) People are much more likely to give you their (unsoliciated) opinion of the name, when it hasn't been officially attached to a baby yet. All the things it rhymes with, who they don't like who has that name, etc. If you announce the name & then hand them a baby they are much more likely to just say "awww, he/she is adorable" (even if they aren't LOL).

2) It's near impossible for most people to keep information to themselves. If you have worked really hard to come up with a combo of names that reflects your family, you guys as a couple and an impending baby, how would you feel if someone shortly before you gave birth, named their baby that? Even if your mother told some random stranger in the post office just so she could get it off her chest, that person could end up in the same hospital as you, or same class or something like that. Some people might not care about this, but as a "Crystal" from 1982 who shared my name with at least 2 others at any given time, a unique-ish name is important.

That being said, I am not directly opposed to "bouncing" names off of people to get a reaction...to do that I might use the internet or one or two trusted people...just once we have officially decided I think I'll be MUM on it. However, I have considered having a baby naming contest so we can get some help on getting some good names to think on.

A couple girls that are friends/aquaintances of mine had an issue regarding names. Since I'm not super close with them, I'm going to rename them. Couple A, lets call them the Smiths, got pregnant and shared the news. They had a family association to the name "Blair" so if they had a boy that was the name they were going to use. Unfortunately, 'the Smiths' had a miscarriage and lost the baby. They then decided maybe it wasn't the best time to have a baby so focused on their careers for a while. Good friends of theirs, "the Jones" (real creative I know LOL), got pregnant right after they got married. They were struggling to decide what to name their baby when they suddenly thought of the name "Blair" and decided it was great for them! It caused a lot of hurt feelings for the Smiths as they had their baby taken away from them and the Jones definitely knew how important the name Blair was for them (the Smiths would use it regardless when they did have a child one day). The Jones were very stubborn at first, insisting they didn't realize that the Smiths had picked that name but eventually did name their baby boy something different but it caused some hurt feelings in the meantime.

Yesterday I had lunch with a former co-worker Cynthia, who had her daughter's name picked out until 33 days before she gave birth. On this day, 33 days before her own child was born, her sister used the name Cynthia had wanted since she herself was a child. I just think that is selfish on the sister's part. Why not pick out a name that has meaning for you??

Some other comments I dug up from the internet.

"Most parents, however, admit that they don't want to share the name of their baby-to-be because they don't want to hear any criticism of their choice. I think that's a pretty valid reason since people seem to have no problems sharing their opinions, particularly when it comes to anything parenting related."

"Another friend of mine chose a name and someone else pointed out that the initials would be PIG. She hadn't considered that and decided to keep the name but change the order. Maybe not a big deal, but maybe it was. By putting her name out there, she was alerted to the situation. What we name our children DOES matter. There are plenty of studies to prove it."

"When I was pregnant, my husband and I had picked out a boy name and girl name. We shared those names with close family. We had a boy and named him Elijah Blue. The close family we shared our baby names with is now having a girl and is planning to name their daughter the name we shared with them!!! I am very upset because that girl name was chosen by my husband and I because what the meaning of the name symbolizes. The close family says they don't remember us telling them.... I don't believe that. "

http://www.parentdish.com/2009/01/16/should-you-share-your-unborn-babys-name/

The Great Debate: To find out or not to find out

I feel like I've been getting a lot of flack for my/our decision to go ahead and find out our baby's gender at our ultrasound rather than waiting for the traditional delivery annoucement. It seems for everyone one person who agrees with me, there are 3 that are venomously against it). For my entire baby making life, I have never really considered NOT finding out. It just seemed natural to me that you would find out if you could, after all I am an information junkie. So the fact that I seem to only associate with non-finder-outers surprised me and I decided to see what the world of the internet seemed to say. The very first debate board I found had one women's write up that I really enjoyed. Here's an excert...

Danielle Friedl "Here's the thing: it doesn't matter if you find out at 20 weeks or 40 weeks - it's still going to be a surprise! The element of surprise has never ranked very high in my world because in essence - I like to be in control. And in pregnancy and childbirth there is very little, if anything, you can be truly in control over. Obviously this is a decision that every couple needs to make on their own and there is no right or wrong answer. The beauty of making this decision is that you aren't causing any harm to your unborn baby whether you find out their gender or not. That being said, the only reason not to find out earlier seems to be the act of surprise following the actual birth, whereas knowing the gender halfway through the pregnancy has many benefits. And back to that silly old element of surprise. Having found out I was carrying girls in each of my three pregnancies I was very excited and, yes, surprised at about 17 weeks when I found out. I also have to say that upon delivery I was still highly excited to meet my daughters but i felt that I had already formed a bond because I knew what I was having. I can also report that friends and relatives who decided against finding out were not more or less thrilled. Perhaps a few were a little less prepared, and maybe one or two were unfortunately not so pleasantly surprised, but the thrill level seems to be the same. You still count fingers and toes, you still ask if it's healthy. I suppose the difference in each of my cases was not asking 'What is it' but asking 'It's a girl, right?' Hey - those sonogram technicians have been known to make a mistake or two!"

I personally don't equate gender as the biggest jackpot of having a baby. It's one of many things that make my child who he or she is going to be so I feel like I still have PLENTY to look forward at the delivery. When someone says to me that there is no light at the end of the tunnel if you know the gender I wonder "Is meeting your child not the most exciting part?" Even with a gender your visualization of what they will look like is only a guess so you have no idea what your baby will look like, feel like...who they are going to be.

One of my friends, who just had a baby boy in November thought she was having a girl until the u/s tech told her differently. My friend, Megan, said she was shocked and a little disappointed to find out it was a boy. All her life, when she visualized herself with a baby she had seen a girl and it had, for some reason, never occured to her that it could be a boy. Since she found out, she had time to come to terms with the fact that he was a boy, and bond with her baby as a boy. Now she of course loves him like that is what she was always expecting! However, if she had not found out and continued to feel as though it was a girl the whole time, and bond with a the baby as a girl, it would have been quite the shocker to get the "It's a Boy!" announcement after being in labor for 40 hours...mix in the exhaustion, hormones and post postum and that could be quite the experience.

Danielle B "I think that finding out the sex is a great thing though, it just made me even more excited to meet my little girl. Also, with all the chaos that is happening in the hospital when you are delivering and the endless nights that follow, it kind of makes it easier because everything is mapped out! We had her room done and everything picked out for her and even had her name going into the hospital. I think that was the best thing for us, but to each their own and everyone is entitled to how they want to do things, but no matter what, it is always special once they enter this world and then you know that there is no turning back!"

Clair Kernaghan "Sure, finding out the sex of your baby before birth may make planning for the baby easier, you can paint the room the right colour instead of yellow, and you can pick out all the right clothes and have absolutely everything ready for your baby's arrival. But the bottom line is you are going to get all that done anyway so why do it all before the baby comes and work your pregnant butt off, sit down, relax and enjoy being pregnant. Even though a new baby is stressful and a busy time, trust me, you will still find time to paint the nursery, and go shopping for even more pink/blue clothes. "

Okay, this Clair lady is trying to make a case for "no" but she just convinced me yes. It's the whole "why put off for tomorrow what you can do today". I figure if I am exhausted now, pregnanct, I don't expect to be bouyant & full of energy when I have a new born that sleeps sporadically and cries and is desperately in need of my attention. But yeah I'll just stop & go paint a baby room in the middle of it LOL

Some of the major "no"s come from people who didn't have the option in their time. I can't help but feel that they think its unnatural because they couldn't do it. Despite their opinion if you should find out or not, everyone seems to feel they should tell you what they THINK you're having. I'd love for some know-it-all to say "oh you're carrying this way so you're having a girl" and for me to say "hmm, an ultrasound machine begs to differ" LOL

One of my friends who had a baby in May, knew she was having a boy despite not finding out. So started buying boy things and didn't even consider that she might be having a girl. Luckily she did have a boy, but is a mother's instinct always right? I think what you "want" usually influences your "instincts".

The biggest reason everyone totes is the "thrill of anticipation". For us that thrill and build up is happening for the ultrasound on April 23rd. I can't imagine it would be any more or any less whenever you find out. There is a still a "magical" moment where you can start picturing your life with a baby girl or a baby boy rather than just this imaginary baby that seems to exist in you.

It all boils down to personality I think. My friends that agree with me, and have found out, have the same personality as I and they have not for one second regretted their decisions. So I think I'm safe...I'll let you know in 6 months or so LOL

Nicole Lepke "My husband and I tried desperately to conceive for two years, before getting the miraculous news of our impending little arrival. Waiting that long for the conception alone to happen, we certainly didn't want to wait another 9 months to find out what God was blessing us with. I was nervous on the day of the ultrasound only because I thought the baby would be uncooperative and in a position where the ultrasound tech wouldn't be able tell. We didn't have a preference as to having a boy or a girl, but just that the baby in there was growing and developing and looked like he or she had all of his or her parts. (I could even live with an extra toe!) Finding out the sex of our baby was by far the most exciting event my husband and I have ever witnessed. The tech put the cold gel on my ever expanding stomach, rubbed the wand in the goop, and there on the screen our miracle came to life. It made the long-awaited pregnancy all the more real to us. We identified with our little child inside of me - our little boy. He was no longer just our unborn baby, but our son, whom we could name. Our son, whom we could sit for hours and fantasize about who he would look like, what kind of little boy he would be and what kinds of mischief he would one day get into. We decided to keep his name secret, so there would still be a little surprise at the end for all of our family and friends."

There does seem to be some give and take on the gender & then name sharing. Those who find out then might choose to keep the name a secret for the element of surprise for the announcement. Those who don't know the gender might have more fun sharing at least their name possiblities with others.

http://www.helium.com/debates/130647-should-you-find-out-the-sex-of-your-baby-before-birth

musings from my mobile

I'm waiting for my oil change and decided to try to blog post via my blackberry.

Hmm, what's going on? Well I am on my way home from Grimshaw. I was trying to strum up some business by holding an open house for each 'Everyday Style' and 'BeautiControl'. Blame it on the economy, bad weather or lack of advertising: they sucked.

Car's done!

What Activities are Best for Pregnancy?

I really need some of the endorphins you get from Exercise so I'm trying to find activities I enjoy. According to BabyCenter.Com here are some of the greats:

-Swimming: Healthcare providers and fitness experts hail swimming as the best and safest exercise for pregnant women. Swimming is ideal because it exercises both large muscle groups (arms and legs), provides cardiovascular benefits, and allows expectant women to feel weightless despite the extra pounds of pregnancy.

-Walking, Low-Impact Aerobics, Dancing, Yoga & Stretching.

I wonder if walking while shopping counts?

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Quotes from Buddha

"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense."

"Every human being is the author of his own health or disease. "

"However many holy words you read, however many you speak, what good will they do you if you do not act on upon them?"

"It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways."

"No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path. "

"The mind is everything. What you think you become. "

"You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection."

"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger. "

"Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it. "

A Funny Quote...supplied to me by Catharina

"No woman will ever be truly satisfied, because no man will ever have a chocolate penis,that ejaculates money."

Quote by Ernest Hemingway.

Pregnancy & Well Meaning Advice

Today I am 8 weeks pregnant! Woo hoo! It's still very unreal for me. Luckily, I requested an early ultrasound and my doctor didn't mind. So on Feb 18th, Tyler & I will hopefully be hearing the beating of one or two babies' hearts (still pushing for twins!). I think that'll help bring a little more realism to the situation for us.

I can't remember what I've already written about, so forgive me if this is review, but my regular doctor is retired from obstricians so I "had" to get a new doctor for the baby process. I was quite okay with this as, although I love that my doctor is female, she leaves a lot to be desired regarding her bedside mannor. Tyler & I got to meet with my new doctor, Dr. Phillpot, on Thursday. She normally doesn't accept new patients, though luckily for us, her husband says they need a new house so she's taking on a few more.

A little history I learned about Dr. Phillpot: SHE is 38 and just returned from mat leave with her fourth child. Her husband is a stay at home daddy and Dr.Phillpot seems to generally love what she does. She told us that she's excited to have a "new" family again that is going through the pregnancy for the first time as a lot of her patients are on there third and fourth kids and aren't really into the appointments etc. She's probably considered 'overweight' but she isn't super large and she just looks normal. Not super hot & not super ugly. She was really high energy with us during our appointment and very very nice.

Some of the information/guidelines she game me:

-she gave me a prescription for some prenatals. The have more folic acid in them and are geared for women with larger BMI's. I get to take a pink one in the morning & a blue one at night. Since they are prescription I'm hoping that means that our insurance will reimburse us for the cost! That would be a nice bonus as they are $45/month.

-ideally she wants me to keep my entire pregnancy weight gain to 10-15 lbs as I am already overweight. She would even be okay with me not gaining any weight or losing weight if I was still healthy. I completely get where she is coming from with these numbers as I've been doing some of my own research online and it coorelates with that.

-I am to avoid deli meats & unpasturized cheeses. The recent 'maple leaf' blunder brought to the public's attention that there is a chance of bacteria living on deli meats. This has always been true and is normally not a big deal but when you are pregnant you do have a lower risk tolerance.

-She gave me a name "Par X" to look up for a quiz to assess my physical ability and what kinds of exercise I should do. I was also told not to do waterslides, horse back riding...some of the more classic things to avoid.

-In terms of resources she said "Today's Parent" is a great magazine. This is awesome as I have a year's subscription sitting in my basement LOL

-She also suggested we check out http://www.earlyriskassessment.com/ to decide is we are going to do any pre-screening.

-We also found out there is an early education class for what it means to give birth in Red Deer (every city/town can have their own idiosyncrasies).

My first prenatal appointment is booked for Friday, March 13th but I have some routine bloodwork to do on this upcoming Tuesday. Having the bloodwork & ultrasound beforehand will be nice as she'll have data to draw from at our next appointment.

Now...the moment you tell people you are pregnant, you are opening the floodgates for advice. Some of it is greatly appreciated & comes from love but some of it is just downright annoying!

For instance, yesterday my sort've sister in law Kim was here and we mentioned we had gone for Dim Sum. She goes "you have to be careful what you eat you know". Thanks?! I, of all people, am pretty good at researching information. And for MOST pregnancy stuff, it boils down to your own personal risk/benefit scale. Her particular issue was over the potential for MSG and Mecury from any fish I might eat. I looked this up (as I love shrimp) and babycenter (a reliable resource I think) says that the Mercury scares come mostly from the larger fish that would be living in the ocean for longer periods of time and thus more suspectible to mercury. It says that most pregnant women can enjoy fish (tuna packed in water, shrimp) as most anyone does, up to three times a week. And that it's even good as there is so much Omega 3 in fish. The main things to avoid are things like shark & raw 0ysters. Really we should all avoid "raw" animals regardling of whether or not we are pregnant!

I guess I find this especially annoying because it's coming from the woman who drank coffee routinely, often indulged in a can of beer when I saw her & also has no fear of hot tubs during her pregnancy! Again, back to the personal risk/benefit scale. There are MILLIONS of things we can be concerned about when we are pregnant. Each woman has to do her only personal analysis of the risks and the benefits of the items in question and where it is worth it to her to take that chance.

For instance, I am currently taking anti-depressants. While it is usually best to be on zero medications when you are pregnant, my psychiatrist put it to me this way:

-you can be on a (more) even keel emotionally & pregnant or you can be like you were before and pregnant. Would you rather enjoy this pregnancy or possibly suffer through it? Also for the particular anti-depressent I'm on, Effexor, it is considered a very safe drug and shown no harm to fetus'. Since I suffer from depression I am also much more likely to suffer from post partum depression so I have to watch for sign of that (& have my loved ones watch for signs also).

So for me & my circumstances it is probably best to be on it. However, that being said, I do think it is effecting my nausea!!

Another item of arguement is Caffeine. For me, I am not planning on cutting it out entirely. I have curbed my coffee drinking for a while now so I don't really crave it but I still have some tea sometime and definitely chocolate! A lot of the info out there says that <300>

So I just totally threw up. Despite my bouts of nausea it was my first time actually throwing up. It was disgusting LOL I ran from the computer desk and barely had time to make it to our kitchen sink. I had a stomach full (tuna wrap & some pineapple I had been eating) and it ALL came up. The good news is that I felt better afterwards. I had read that the nausea can be hormonal so throwing up doesn't actually relieve the nausea. I'm happy to state in this instance, it did relieve it!

Dirty Laundry

I was watching a documentary tonight about Heidi Fleiss and her newest business venture to open a brothel in Nevada that had males available for hooking rather than females. It was really interesting glimpse into the person she is...seemingly very sad and lonely. And not at all titillating as I had hoped LOL

However she said something really poignant:

"If we all threw our dirty laundry into the center of the room, how quickly we would grab our own".

She said this in reference to how we all have crap/negative stuff in our lives but we've learned to deal with it when it's our own and wouldn't want anyone else's.

MIL's - A Follow Up

So last night (Thursday), Mary called us to see how our first appointment went with my new baby doctor as well as to apologize for her temper tantrum. She said her "ego got in the way" a term we frequently use with our new age stuff. I guess more than anything I just feel a 'badness' after having that kind of experience with someone. Not a badness in the way that I feel guilty or mad, just maybe like a ripple effect.

Rock Band with an Audience, Drunken M-I-L's, and other stories from this week

We went to Edmonton on Sunday because Vanessa, Tyler, my sister Calli & I had tickets to see "So You Think You Can Dance" on tour (the top ten dancers). Vanessa & Calli were coming down from Grimshaw so we got together on Sunday to have a little extra visiting/shopping time. Sunday night we went to Fiore's (Italian) for supper and met up with my ol' BF from Junior High Laurie. It was really cool to see her but albeit a little weird. When you have lost a friendship for that long and not really maintained much contact it takes some time to rebuild a connection. Laurie & I had a falling out as well back then so it doesn't help...however I had fun chit chatting with her & hope she had a good evening too. Also the food was GREAT!

Monday - Vanessa, Calli & I went shopping at Kingsway Mall (to avoid the hike that is usually involved with shopping at West Ed). I'd say we had a mostly successfull shopping day as we fulfilled most everyone's wish list. At one point I was really worried about upchucking my cookies in the Mariposa dressing room waiting area but the feeling passed so that was good! I did end up returning a couple of the items I bought a few days later, but still good shopping time. That night we went to SYTYCD and it was AMAZING! Vanessa & I had seats in row 13, which turned out to be only 7 rows from the stage. We had a great view of the magnificent dancer bodies and what they were capable of...Calli & Tyler had seats in row 28 which were decent but definitely not as fabulous as our seats. You may be wondering why we sat as we did...long story boiling down to Vanessa & I planned to get tickets and Calli & Tyler were "after thoughts" so to speak.

Tuesday I had plans to go out for dinner with my friend Danielle, however she was under the weather so she ended up cancelling. I was uber disappointed as I haven't seen her in a few months & she is PREGNANT (& probably adorable) but you can't plan life sometimes. I'm sure I'll see her soon :-D

We thought about going home that night but Tyler really wanted to go to "Rock Band" hosted by the Bear radio station at the River Cree Casino on Wednesday night. I didn't want to be bored for another day but we decided to go for Dim Sum for lunch on Wednesday & that was reason enough for me to stay LOL Dim Sum, if you're not familiar, is authentic chinese food like shrimp & rice paper...kind of looks disgusting but some of it is completely delicioius. We don't have any Dim Sum in Red Deer so far as I know so it's a special treat.

Ugh, I'm running out of time cuz i have to leave for an appointment! Okay here's the jist of Wednesday night:

Rock Band - really cool, quite well attended. Many people were playing on Expert and getting in the 90 percentages. We hooked up with a couple in their 50s who play guitar & bass (John & Karen - very neat people), Tyler played the drums & I sang a song. In front of people!! It was "Don't Fear the Reaper". I was very freaked out (I got all blotchy & red) but I thought it was important to get out of my comfort zone & do it. I wasn't even able to get drunk first as I am all pregnant LOL

So we had lots of fun & I came back to Mary's all hyper...she had been drinking, probably quite a bit. Well Keisha, her boyfriend's 15 yr-old granddaughter who's living with them, was going to have a snack and the pantry was a mess so she started organizing it (as Mary & Robert have been asking her to do since she moved in). Out of no where, Mary starts going off on how "any idiot" can see & smell when food goes bad and just cuz it has an expiry date that's passed doesn't mean it's bad and we should through it out...this escalated to pretty much a full on tantrum about how "everyone" criticises her all the time and how we must not think she's a good enough person, etc. I tried to calm her down saying "take a deep breath" and "we love you" and giving her a hug (meanwhile I am crying in my typical reaction to outbursts of emotion). She just continued for maybe a full five minute rant and then Robert came out and she flipped on him (about not helping her with housework & how they don't have enough cupboard space...) and then she went for a smoke. It was kind of bad...and I still don't have the greatest feeling about it. Plus what what we all found frustrating (Tyler, Keisha & I) is that Mary complains about her fridge & how much room she doesn't have and how disorganized it is, but then she was mad & offended when we tried to help... Anyways that's just never fun to experience those things.

Gotta run!

Yes! (then ugh...)

I feel really, off, right now. I'm not sure if it's nausea or heart burn or what but I feel yucky. The good news is, I'm pregnant! After about a year of half assed trying and one month of actually charting my cycle and "baby dancing" when directed I peed on a stick and it finally tested postive. (the picture here isn't my actual test, but you get the idea)

So now I am about 7 ish weeks pregnant. According to the really cool site www.fertilitygal.com my baby is about 1/2 inch big and today is forming the genitalia the decides if it's going to be a boy or a girl. Preferably we'd like to have one of each in one shot (a.k.a. twins), and the average chance of that IS 1/90 births so entirely possible :-D

So we're pretty excited. Some say you should wait until the end of your first trimester before announcing that you're expecting, but for most of those in our lives I really couldn't hold my tongue! I think most of those who read my blog have been told (but their may be a few straglers out there so sorry). That being said I'm not ready for the general "public" to find out so I was a little freaked when a relative of Tyler's wrote on my facebook WALL a congrats. I deleted it quickly hoping no one really read it or got it's meaning. So let that be a warning to all you readers right now, no public facebook messages!!!

So back to how I'm feeling right now. I'm not sure if it's exactly morning sickness or what but I feel kind of icky. I feel best when I am actually eating, but pretty yicky after eating. Not a good position to be in cuz I just want to eat all the time now!

Hmm, my in-laws are home (we're chillin' at their house right now) so I'm gonna sign off right now...

Things that bring me Joy!

I think it's important to recognize the things in life that make you happy and express gratitude for those things you are thankful for...on my way home from Calgary most recently I decided to make a list of things that bring me Joy. What started as one or two items quickly snowballed. Here are some of the things I wrote:

• playing with my "boys" (Dominic and Charlie)
• spending 'quality' time with Tyler
• reading great fiction books
• scrapbooking
• talking all night/late with friends
• planning...parties, dinners, funtions...
• discovering: great songs, new artists, great ideas & perspectives, new friendships
• choosing/finding gifts for others
• phnemonal tv/movies that make you feels things: happiness, sadness, inspiration
• going to the theatre
• singing in my car
• listening to my music in general
• making people laugh WITH me and sometimes even at me
• eating in great restaurants
• cuddling with Tyler
• travelling to places on my life list
• being inspired, listending to great people talk
• meeting new people, making new connections
• reinventing myself
• getting my hair done
• getting my make up done
• having beautiful nails (even if they are fake!)
• getting a massage
• exploring new concepts and ideas
• challenging the status quo
• decorating
• shopping
• sparkles
• finishing a cleaning/organizing job

What are some of yours?

Looking forward to 2009 with the wisedom of 2008

As I get ready for New Year's Resolutions, part of the process is to reflect on the previous year. I can't help but feel I've "pissed away" that time. I feel as though I am basically starting back at square zero from one year ago. Of course this isn't 100% true, at the very least I have been going through a learning and growing process and I am a smarter person than I was one year ago, with the grain of salt that I am also not as smart as I will be tomorrow!

Goals (Journeys & End Points) for 2009:

(in no particular order)

1) To be a little less materialistic, less of an impluse shopper.

2) To be more organizated, efficient and punctual.

3) To lead a healthier, fuller more positive life.

The details/background/how it comes together

I am a shopoholic, an addiction like many others in that I get a high from it and it's self destructive. I have earned a lot of money over the years and I have a lot of junk & debt to show for it. My husband makes a very good wage and it's ridiculous that I haven't learned from his example of frugality. That being said I think he can sometimes be on the other end of the spectrum!

One of the ways I have started to work with this problem, is to limit myself to only purchasing things that I LOVE. So far I have utilized it with clothes and tried to do it with Christmas shopping. Although I still bought a lot of presents this year, I definitely limited myself from previous years and think I did better at choosing more quality than quantity.

Another way I am purging my materialistic side is to do a purge/cleanse of our home. I'm reading a great book called "It's All Too Much" by Peter Walsh - he was the expect on "Clean Sweep" a TLC show & he's one of Oprah's Organizing Guru for 2009. I originially came across it because he also wrote a book called "Does this Clutter Make my Butt Look Fat?" which I'd read a review for & purchased not realizing it was a sequel. I decided I wasn't ready for the sequel yet & wanted to start with the original. It's a great read so far & highly recommended as it breaks down why less stuff equals a richer life & how we need to live in the now more & how clutter is an epidemic in line with over eating, over indulging etc.

I (along with Tyler somewhat) am going through our stuff and again keeping what we LOVE and purging those items we don't. So far, my living room looks awesome and I went down 1 1/2 containers of Christmas items (which I also purged from the year before). I also did an initial purge of our bedroom but it needs another deeper one I believe. Right now I am working on my office which includes my BeautiControl inventory, scrapbooking stuff, paperwork and other filing. This is one of the bigger projects and one that mostly needs to be done by me. I'd said I am about half way done that one and looking forward to completing it.

One of the ways to have a succesful purge is to agree not to buy anything more for your home until you complete the purge and see what you truly need. A common mistake of cleaning up & organizing is to go and buy a ton of organizing items (like containers etc). This can create just as much clutter as the clutter itself!

Quick Clothes Tip I Got Off Oprah - Do a quick purge of your clothes getting rid of the easy stuff. You probably still have a lot left so when you put it back together in your closet, hang everything with the hanger opening facing you. Then whenever you wear an item, put the hanger back in normally. After a set timeframe (maybe 6 weeks or 6 months) assess the items that have hangers still open to you...this means you haven't worn that item for that long! It might make it easier for you to get rid of it at this point. Of course some items are seasonal but you don't need 5 basic black dresses, just 1 or 2.

My supper is ready so I'm just going to write very quickly, one or two more things (though I have tons more to say!). To me a healthier, fuller more positive life means finding activities that I enjoy that are more active. I got Wii Fit for Christmas which has some fun stuff, as well as I hope to start swimming with Catharina again once she's back from Mexico (26th) - may sneak in a few swims with Tyler before then! I don't want to fall into the typical diet/exercise ruts I've gotten into before so that's not what it's all about. It's about doing things that make me happier and give me the life I want to live.

I'm also going to take Xocai for a month trial to see if it makes a difference in how I feel. Xocai is a chocolate based product that has many ingredients that are high in anti-oxidants including Acai berrie, blueberry, cocoa...the version I am getting is also high in Omega 3 from flaxseed. The chocolate is simliar in concept to other products including Xango and Monovie (spelling?). I'm sure there is tons out there. I have tasted Xango & didn't enjoy it and I like the portablity of the chocolates (as well as the taste!). I'm excited but plan to keep an open mind as to whether it really makes a difference as it is not cheap!

I also want to learn and practise meditation and define my spirituality a little more. That deserves it's on blog so hopefully I'll get around to that soon.

I am doing some research online about the superfoods that are out there and looking for some recipes that incorporate more of them. So far one of the lists I found was:

• Beans
• Blueberries
• Broccoli
• Oats
• Oranges
• Pumpkin
• Salmon
• Soy
• Spinach
• Tea (green or black)
• Tomatoes
• Turkey
• Walnuts
• Yogurt

So if you have some recipes that include these ingredients please share. In fact, if you have any recipes that you'd like to share that aren't "sugar/dessert" related, I'd love to hear them.

Recipe from Greece:

-Take a small container such as a tumbler cup.

-Sprinkle in a layer of walnuts.

-Drizzle honey onto nuts, to taste.

-Scoop french vanilla, vanilla, or plain yogurt over nut/honey mixture.

Enjoy with a spoon and ensure each spoonful contains all three layers.

I also want to learn and practise meditation.

That Hypnotizing Idiot Box

Television. Both my best friend & my arch nemisis. At less than the cost of Starbucks each day I get access to an unlimited supply of mindless (& sometimes educational) entertainment. My love/hate relationship:

• 
  
  Love that it's cheap,


• 
  
  love that it isn't affected by the weather,


• 
  
  love it doesn't require 100% of my attention so I can exercise, scrapbook, clean etc while watching,


• 
  
  hate that I often GIVE it 100% of my attention,


• 
  
  love that it can be done by yourself or in a group,


• 
  
  love that thanks to my PVR I can watch awesome stuff whenever I want,


• 
  
  hate that thanks to my PVR I tend to watch much, much too much because I can tape it for later times so I end up watching stuff I probably wouldn't if I didn't have it,


• 
  
  love that it, somewhat, keeps me up to date on world happenings,


• 
  
  love that it makes me laugh,


• 
  
  hate that it makes me cry,


• 
  
  hate that it's impossible to shut off,


• 
  
  hate that it sucks away my motivation,


• 
  
  love that it brought me such amazingly awesome shows as the Office, Pushing Daisies, Sex & the City...


• 
  
  hate that it broght me shows such lame &/or disturbing shows such as South Park, Trailer Park Boys, Kink...

I'm sure I could think up tons more, but then I'll be spending time on the OTHER hypnotizing idiot box! What are your love/hates of TV?

Non or Less Monetary Gift Ideas

Not into the whole materialistic side of Christmas? Personally feeling the 'poor economy' we keep hearing about? I've been hearing a lot of people feeling broke these days and wanting to avoid the typical overspending splurge that is usually Christmas. However, I love to give and receive gifts so I was looking for alternative gifting options. I can't remember which site(s) I got this ideas from but I thought these were some of the best ideas out there.

• Buy a used book and in the inside cover explain why you chose the book for that person.
• A hand made recipe book would be a good idea. A compilation of old family recipes from your family, and your friends' families.
• Adopting a polar bear, snow leopard or giant panda in the name of all my friends and family members from World Wildlife Fund.
• As an another idea, try www.oxfamunwrapped.com. It allows you to send a gift to the 3rd World and depending on your budget you can buy chickens, blankets, radios, right up to a travelling theatre!
• A couple of years ago I did a calendar for the family with everyone's photos and birthdays. That was a big hit.
• Just try make a spiritual gift, not material, not an object. I prefer doing something - singing a song, writing a poem - for a person. Plus a little beatiful card, because most people want to "have something in the hands," it's just a habit.
• Give something you don't use any more (re-gift). A sweater that you only wore once; a set of drinking glasses you forgot you owned. Clean them up and give them as gifts. I have found all sorts of things in my apartment that I have no need for, but know someone who would appreciate and enjoy it!
• Create coupons for a massage, spring cleaning, child-minding, manicure, etc. Babysitting coupons for the new parents.
• I am making several batches of biscuits ("cookies" your side of the pond!) and boxes from some lovely dark red recycled card.
• If you are skilled in a particular area, offer a lesson or class.
• Collect quotes that make you think of someone.
• Fill an old trunk or suitcase with fun clothing, hats and gaudy jewelry for your children to play dress-up.
• Do something exciting and challenging together (e.g., long walk, bike ride, hike, art course).
• Write and illustrate a book for the young people in your life.
• Create a menu of various culinary delights (e.g., Tantalizing Thai, Mexican Fiesta, etc.) and have the gift recipient choose one of the options.
• Sponsor a child.
• Subscriptions.
• Save an acre of rainforest.
• Create a unique gift basket full of the recipient's favorite treats. Instead of stocking the gift basket with store-bought items, fill it with homemade Christmas candy, cookies and perhaps a personalized ornament.
• Make homemade gifts that express your talents. If you can sew, do carpentry work. If you are an excellent cook, use those talents to create unique gifts.
• Some sort of experience such as dinner theatre tickets, concert tickets, a sleepover, etc.

Source: Unknown.

Adorable Chihuahua Imperial Shih Tzu X Female Puppy

Okay meet Ali. Super, super cute. I totally want her...she'll be about half the size of my current puppies when she gets all grown up. I wonder if I could convince Tyler to buy me her for Christmas LOL Only $600!

The Duggar's

If you're not sure why this is funny...look up the "Duggar Family".