Life...

Well I haven't randomly blogged in a while so please be patient through what will likely be lots of disconjointed ramblings LOL

On June 23rd I called my little brother to wish him a "Happy Birthday" for his 19th. He was groggy even at 11AM, ha ha but we chatted a wee bit and he told me he was dating a new girl & her name was Crystal - a little weird as that's my name :-) but whatever. Then I teased him and said "well does this girl at least not have a baby?" And he's like, "nah, she has a 4 year old, Blake." Which makes me shake my head cuz 19 is pretty young to take on the responsibilities of a child and would normally scare a guy away but it doesn't phase my brother. In fact I think he enjoys it. Oh & p.s. the girl is about 22 or 23 I think.

So on that particular weekend that I called him, it was also the first weekend we were spending time with Tyler's family since we found out Tyrone & Kim were splitting up. Some background on that in case you don't know:

-Tyrone (born '78) & Kim (born '71) then started dating approximately in September of 2005.

-In December of 2005 they announced they were pregnant & due in August. While it's exciting to have a baby joining the family I didn't really approve of them having a kid together when they'd only been dating for like a few months, and I really didn't approve when Kim told me (the first night we met) that they planned the pregnancy in the way that they both chose to use no protection. And I really didn't think they should get married (although my father-in-law of course does) as having a baby is no excuse for marriage in this day & age. Especially since I haven't seen Tyrone with a girlfriend in the five years before that.

-Kim is an interesting mixture of enigma (like really what does she see in Tyrone), fun (hey it's someone on my side against the in-laws & a little bit like having an older sister) and irritating. Though I have to admit that she took the edge off of having Tyrone around (if you don't know my history with him that's a much longer story that you'll have to ask for).

-They move in together and it's fighting from day one. Tyrone is very condescing, stubborn, lazy & well stupid. Kim, while older, is slightly subservant, mothering, but also not so bright sometimes and quite immature for her age (currently 35). So perfect ingredients for dysfunction.

-Tyrone starting making comments to Kim that when she was on mat leave she'd better have the house clean everyday & have dinner ready for him when he got home (coming from the guy who makes less money then his girlfriend).

-Kim, in her stupidity, would enable Tyrone's behavior by sleeping in a seperate room so he wouldn't have to get up in the middle of the night. Have Kira bathed, changed, & fed for when Tyrone got home so all he'd have to do was cuddle her, read her books, stuff like that. Which he allegedly didn't even do most of the time cuz he was too busy playing computer games & online poker (another bone of contention).

-When Kira's birth arrived Kim's mom came to stay for a few weeks to help out. Tyrone & Kim's mom got into a fight(s?) which strained the relationship between Kim & her mom as well. The mom, quite correctly, pointed out Tyrone's emotionally abusive behavior and many faults (no education, broke, no ambition, lazy, pipe dreamer, etc). Kim was/is in denial about Tyrone's negatives so she isolates herself from her mother (who lives in Saskatchewan while K&T live in Calgary).

-Through the relationship ups & downs Tyrone called his mommy to complain about all the things Kim wasn't doing adequetely and claims that his mommy agreed with his side of things (yep mommy does enable him too) which doesn't help the relationship.

-Eventually Tyrone discovers "the Secret" a philosophy that says if we put positives out there & be greatful for what we have in live & act as though we have the things we want the universe will provide it for us. He incorrectly interprets this as "Kim & Kira are annoying so they are creating negatives in my environment so I should ditch them so I can win millions at poker. Oh & Kim is too fat for me to find sexually attractive." I have issues with this statements.

1) I'm sure ditching your girlfriend & baby is not what the Secret meant by creating a positive atmosphere, in fact I think it's the exact oppositve.
2)Tyrone is never going to win millions at poker because there are MANY MANY better players than him who don't even win everytime and any idiot can read the same books & DVDs he does that he seems to think give him a "leg up" on the competetion. Plus there are three elements to poker: luck (which you can't control), inherent skill (that you can't learn you have to have it in you as an instinct), and then the skills you can learn. So basically he's batting 1/3.
3) I don't believe that the pursuit of money is more important than family.
4) I firmly believe that if you choose to bring a child into this world it is your damn job to make sure they have the best life possible.
5) Kim is no bigger than she was when he met her & she's not that big & he is way more fat (& truly disgusting) than she'll ever be.

-After they officially break up in June & become single they still continued to live together until the weekend of September 15th. They didn't treat each other very nicely during this time & I'm not sure of their sexual relationship during these months but I'd bet that it existed somewhat which isn't healthy. And if it were me & my boyfriend pulled this stunt he'd be out on his ass immediately.

-Tyrone is now whining about having to pay child support or even taking any responsiblity for his child's life whatsoever. He hoards the fact that he "gives" Kim money over her head which is disgusting. He also doesn't seem that interested in making his house livable for her to come visit and has made such comments as "I won't have her that often" [to which Kim responded, yeah every other weekend] and alluded to the fact that he didn't need a crib cuz his 1yr old could sleep whereever (like the floor).

-Kim flip flops between bitching about Tyrone's behavior & exposing what he say and being upset about their breakup and wanting to be back with him. Again, stupidity.

-Kim has since spent a weekend at Tyrone's mom's with Kira without Tyrone which is good, but weird.

-Kim came up with Tyrone for Thankgiving weekend allegedly cuz our step-mother-in-law complained about having to watch Kira but I think she just likes to feel needed. But again, she takes the edge off Tyrone so I don't mind that much.

-Kim was still breastfeeding up until a few weeks ago when Kira was about 13 months old which freaks me out (personally) as Kira appears a lot older than she actually is.

P.S. I love Kira but am worried about her future as her gene pool is limited and her parental environment isn't always healthy. Hopefully Kim doesn't go psycho and play the old guilt & manipulation onto Kira.

What I find extra upsetting was that my brother, who is 19, is fully willing to date a girl and help raise her 4 year old son from another guy with no qualms while Tyler's brother who is 29 is unwilling to take full responsibility for his very own child. This both amazes me with my brother & sickens me with my brother-in-law.

More to come...LUNCH BREAK!

Recipe - One Pot Dinner

Okay so I am always looking for alternative recipes for the things we eat as I HATE repetition. So here is one I tried last night that wasn't too shabby:

Ingredients:
Potatoes
Carrots
Onion
Red Pepper (&/or any veggies you like)
Extra Virgin Olive Oil (EVOO)
Meat - I used sirloin steak cut up but you could sub stew meat, hamburger, chicken or even pork...
Spices - I used Montreal Steak Spice w/ my beef
Can of Baked Beans
1/2 cup BBQ sauce (your favorite flavor & brand)

Directions:

1. Chop your veggies & put into a pot with EVOO (a couple turns of the pot). Cook on medium heat stirring constantly until tender. At one point it may be necessary to use a little water or more oil to keep the veggies from sticking or burning.
2. After your veggies are started, start cooking your meat in a separate pan also with some EVOO. You can also add any spices you want to, such as Montreal Steak Spice. This one can be a little spicey so be wary of this when adding it in.
3. Mix your beans into which ever pan or pot is done cooking first & add the BBQ sauce. If both are done at the same time you can just mix everything together at once. Keep on the burner until everything is at the same temperature.
4. Serve.

You could make many variations of this by using different veggies, meats and spices. You could even add/sub rice, pastas, etc.

H&G Update

So just reviewing my party sales last night I'd say that I am over the $10,000 sales mark. I need to sell $40,000 by January 31 to get a FREE trip to Greece or $20,000 to qualify for the half price buy in. I'm happy with my success so far (started May 9th)!

OR if I hire consultants and they earn some money that is another route to go. If you're interested in finding out more email or post me!

August - Woo hoo!

Even though August ended up being a slightly "dry" month Home & Gift wise I still managed to be #12 for New Consultant Top Sales. I LOVE seeing my name in print :-)

Justin Timberlake Concert

To appease my adoring fans (okay stop laughing) I am writing about the JT concert. First off I'm going to steal some lines from an article in the Edmonton Journal:

"The suave pop star FutureSex-ed 18,500 screaming fans -- a new attendance record for Rexall Place -- with his LoveSounds, intricate choreography and high-tech gadgetry on Tuesday night...By the time Timabland finally appeared on stage -- towards the end of Chop Me Up -- most fans likely forgot he was even part of the tour. The rapper/uber-producer, who cancelled his Aug. 5 gig at the River Cree Resort and Casino due to an extensive touring schedule, then went on to perform for another 20 minutes while Timberlake and his crew vanished to take a breather before the second half of their set."

So Justin was amazing...he only had one opening band, Good Charlotte, who played for about 30 minutes. It was refreshing not to have to listen to 2 hours of opening bands before getting to the main event (wait i think i just had an epiphany about how some men feel about foreplay LOL). He took the stage at about 8:40pm singing "Future Sex Love Sounds" (still stuck in my head for 4 days now), then dazzled me for almost and hour and a half with dance moves, lazer show and just his overall sexiness. At this point (about 10pm) Timberland took over the stage with what I now know was his version of a half time show sadly, without the wardrobe malfunction. Timberland was a nice little break however I was freaking out worrying "he still hasn't done SexyBack, Rock your Body, Cry me a River, or MOST importantly LoveStoned..." and thinking he was simply going to have an encore performance now. But he wowed me and everyone else by coming back and singing many, many more songs until about 11:20pm. In fact I thought the show was over when he finished up with SexyBack (an obvious closer choice) but he retured to the stage in a mere t-shirt & pants (still very sexy) and to his revolving piano to see a song or two more (slow ones, i have no idea what they were). At this point some bleached blonde be-otch rushed on stage. Justin held off security and allowed this rule-breaker to sit on his piano bench and sing along. That was the main negative of my evening, that he rewarded her behavior with what everyone would have wanted...that I by the time I arrived at home I had a full blown case of a flu/cold/fever. Yuck. But the concert was worth it!

P.S. Yep that's my photo from the actual concert. ~insert girl squeal here~

WOO HOO!

So I was just reading the August newsletter for the new home business company I am in and my name is in there several times in the success section!

Top New Consultant s - July Sales : #10 in Canada

Top Wish Consulants - July Sales: #15 in Canada

Top Wish Consulants - Year to Date: #25 in Canada

"Top Wish" is money donated to the Children's Wish Foundation.

The last one is extra amazing cuz I have only been active for 3 months and the year to date is for 6 months...crazy :-)

So I am feeling pretty good about my sucess so far...yay me!

Irks

Do you know what irks me today? How my sister-in-law Kim seems to think that:

a) having a baby makes her time more important than mine,

b) having a baby entitles her to certain things over me,

c) having a baby entitles her to special treatment.

Basically she thinks that the world should revolve around her because her greatest talent was spreading her legs for the world's biggest loser (and I don't mean that NBC show).

Some examples:

-She is rarely on time because she 'has a baby to get ready too'. Therefore she doesn't respect our time.

-She makes plans &/or invites herself over whenever it is convenient for her because we should all 'be thankful' for her allowing us to see her daughter and respond to her beck and call.

-She thinks that her, her boyfriend & her baby deserve the basement bedroom at my mother-in-law's house over me & my husband because they need the privacy. Meanwhile I find out that they are splitting up. So since when does couple-living-in-sin-but-breaking-up-and-have-a-baby trump over married couple for privacy?

And that's all I can think of right now off the top of my head.

Mourning the Loss of My HouseHusband...

For about three years my husband worked in Fort McMurray as an electrician. His schedule sucked, varying from:

-4-10's (four days at 10 hours each, then three days off, repeat), to

-10 & 3's (10 ten hour days in a row, then 3 days off, repeat), to

-18 & 3's (18 ten hour days in a row, then 3 days off, repeat).

Basically it boiled down to he spent WAY more time in Fort McMurray with his co-workers then with me his wife (well I was a girlfriend for part of that time but you know what I mean). During that time I basically felt like a single mom to our 4 pets. I worked during the week, ran errands during the evenings and his weekends away, then had to adjust to his return every other weekend or so. The money was great, but the strain on our relationship was pretty hard. Especially when you factor in overbearing in-laws who seem to forget that you only see your husband 4 days a month and feel the need to intrude on those four days. Plus by the time Tyler got home I would always have this huge to-do list for him or both of us so our weekends were eaten up pretty fast (not to mention the 7 hour drive there and back).

So as of May 3rd or so this year he came home with the intention of looking for local work, building our fence and working on our yard. For the last three months he has basically acted as a House Husband since he wasn't working and I was. I took pretty much full advantage of this, getting him to cook meals, clean the house, look after the pets, help me with my side business, etc. It was nice to go from zero help to someone who could help full time. However, the lack of income he was producing meant our money levels were dwindling...so I helped him build his resume and he made some calls and today he was asked to meet a guy first thing this morning.

He was off to work before 7:30am...(which I'm sure came really early as he was in Calgary last night picking up our new patio set - hmm, I wonder why we have no money now?). Which meant that I had to put out the dogs this morning before I left...and I didn't realized this until I had already gotten out of bed later than usual. So I was extra late this morning. After I got back from lunch (which was not made for me as he wasn't there) I realized that I am going to have to adjust all over again. Hopefully this time it'll be a little more 50/50 (depending on his hours) but I will have to pitch in a lot more than I've had to for three months. Scary. And kind of lonely.

Don't get me wrong, it's very good that he has a job, it'll just be weird getting used to this change again. But, fingers crossed, at least this job is local and not 7 hours away so maybe we can be more of a "normal" family now...

Words from my (somewhat former) trainer...

So I used to train with this amazing individual Cabel and now he has a monthly newsletter that he sends out and I am getting it (perhaps his way of working on my mental block for training? possibly). Anyhoo, this part of his newsletter hit home for me & I thought I'd share, and since he encourages forwarding the newsletter I'm sure he won't mind me reposting it:

For many the summer months bring with them a harsh reminder of unmet fitness goals.While the toned men and slender women of the world put on their skin-tastic summer gear and proudly put themselves on display, those with jiggles and dimples would rather opt for a cover up and hang out under an umbrella.So why haven't you met your fitness goals? Why must you go through another agonizing summer, turning your head as you pass by a dozen magazines showcasing skinny celebrities in bikinis? You should be enjoying your summer days without wondering which pair of shorts covers the most. The truth is that anyone can get the body of their dreams...even you. And wouldn't it feel great to pull on your bathing suit without bracing yourself before looking in the mirror? You can turn your fitness dreams into reality-read on for the three things you need to begin achieving amazing results.

Your Mind You may be wondering what your mind has to do with getting your body into great shape. In a single word, your mind has everything to do with getting the body of your dreams. Your mind will single handedly make or break your success. How? Well, your mind works hard to reinforce the beliefs that you hold about yourself. If you think of yourself as a fat person, or an out-of-shape person, or just an average person then your subconscious mind will do everything in its power to keep you that way.It's like self-sabotage. However, if you begin to think of yourself as fit, healthy and attractive, then your mind will do everything it can to make your belief a reality. *Take time everyday to visualize your new body and to focus on your goals.

If you want to see the whole newsletter just give me a post letting me know &/or you can check out his new website at http://www.oneto1fitness.com/

~sigh~

This might be totally lame but I miss New York. I started thinking about it last week and how much fun I had while I was there and how much we missed and I'd still like to see so I am sad. I wish I had some moola so that I could go again like right now. Literally I feel that "home sick" feeling for it. Suggestions?

Interesting...

I just thought of something this weekend. Tyler's dad Willie has had two wives. Mary: blonde and quite skinny. Kris: blonde & quite skinny. So he obviously has a type. Tyler is with me: brunette, not so skinny (working on it though). Tyrone is/was with Kim: brunette, not so skinny. Coincidence?

Big Brother 8

Woo hoo....Big Brother 8 started tonight. Here's my thoughts on the house guest so far:

Amber - no opinion yet
Carol - negative
Danielle - not sure yet
Dick - i think i like him, but may grow to not like
Dustin - prefer him to joe
Eric - Like 'em. Reminds me of Jason Biggs.
Jameka - neutral
Jen - neutral
Jessica - i like her more than carol at this point...
Joe - i like Dustin better
Kail - i like her...she looks ten years younger than she is too! oh, but i don't like what she said about gay people...so we'll see
Mike - no opinion yet
Nick - no opinion yet
Zach - no opinion yet

What do you think?
http://www.cbs.com/primetime/bigbrother8/

My Brother-In-Law

Although I am trying to be a positive person I have to get this off my chest...

So it's no secret that I'm not my brother-in-law's biggest fan. I have my reasons and I have many. Christmas 2005 I had the pleasure of meeting Kim, his first serious girlfriend in the five years I'd known Tyler, and finding out that she was pregnant.

Now, while I am the first one to say I don't think people should rush into marriage due to pregnancy, I do NOT advocate getting pregnant with someone you have only known about 6 weeks. Generally speaking I think that couples are in a "honeymoon" period during the first four months of a relationship and you hardly find anything wrong with each other, but down the line you tend to see those flaws. So when I found out that Kim & Tyrone were pregnant I was a) relieved; I thought it might get rid of some of the baby pressure we were getting from Tyler's parents & b) horrified; that two people who barely know each other are going to be raising a baby (especially Tyrone).

I hoped that my opinions of Tyrone were just that: opinions not truths. However with the birth of Kira his selfishness & ignorance did not go away (exhibit 1 is the baby shaking incident at new years). Throughout the last six months or so Tyrone has really been showing his true colors to Kim and she has been enabling him for quite some time.

1. Kim slept in a seperate room with Kira so that Tyrone wouldn't have to wake up in the middle of the night.

2. Kim did all the work regarding Kira: cleaned, fed, changed diapers so that when Tyrone got home from work he had a clean & happy baby to "take care of".

3. Before Kira was born Tyrone started talking about how Kim "better have the house clean and dinner ready" by the time he got home from work. Completely oblivious to the fact that babies (especially new borns) are a full time job, that Kim wasn't his slave and that Tyrone shouldn't be the center of the world anymore.

4. After Kira was born I found out that Tyrone was saying things to Kim that most would consider verbal abuse. Calling her down, saying she's stupid, lazy, etc.

5. Tyrone told Kim, infront of his family, that he wasn't going to bother proposing until she was "perfect" (defined as lost weight, listens to him, doesn't talk back).

6. I found out that Tyrone basically never did anything with Kira unless Kim nagged him (including but not limited to cuddling, bathing, changing diapers, feedings, etc).

So about 2 months before Kira's first birthday Tyrone tells Kim that he's just not that much in love with her anymore and that he doesn't want to live with Kim & Kira anymore. His other reasons include:

-they are interferring with him playing poker

-they don't create a positive environment for him and so he's not happy & he has to be positive & happy so that he can become a millionaire (a la the Secret).

So correct me if I'm wrong, but the point of the Secret is to create a positive environment & mentality for yourself and throwing away your girlfriend & baby isn't all that positive in my books.

So now he is whining and snivelling about how much child support he might have to pay and he is going through their possessions and telling her what she is ALLOWED to take from the house.

His behavior and selfishness disgust me. The only things going for him as far as I was concerned was that he had a family that consisted of a girlfriend and a beautiful baby. Now he's throwing that away. Here's a picture of him: he lived in a basement suite, he works in a warehouse for minimal money (especially considering it's Calgary), he is ugly, overweight, lazy, ignorant, abusive, condescending, chauvanistic, argumentative, selfish...pretty much any negative word you can think of. He has no ambition, he is 29 years old, he got himself kicked out of college a few years back cuz he couldn't be bothered to attend school. Everything that is wrong with his life is "someone else's fault" according to him. He wants everything he wants handed to him and doesn't want to work for anything. And now a baby is involved.

Joy Journal

I re-watched the Secret this weekend and realized fully that I am entirely too negative. Last year my therpist told me to keep a "Joy Journal" and write down daily the things that had brought me joy. Here's a few things to catch up:

Brought me JOY

1. Thinking about my 'Tea of the Month' coming.

2. Getting a Free slush today.

3. Seeing my name in print under the "$1000 Party Sales" in my company's newsletter.

4. Picking up my puppies from Cheryl on Monday.

5. Getting my reimbursement cheque for benefits in the mail today.

6. My bosses' being out this afternoon; peaceful.

7. Having a FREE evening tonight.

8. Downloading "Cupid's Chokehold" last week.

9. Finally solving a Sudoku today.

10. Having a chance to write on my blog today!!

Love is...

On Thursday last week I came home from a chiro adjusterment and a massage feeling really wiped & sore but knowing I had two heaping baskets of personal laundry to do. My husband came bounding up the stairs with my freshly washed laundry minutes after I got home. I hadn't even asked him to do it.

Love is having someone know your intimate desires without you saying a word!!

If I won the lottery...

I'm trying to utilize "the Secret" more so I decided I would blog exactly what I would do with my money once I win the lottery (ideally). That way I can also figure out how much I need to win LOL

In no particular order:

1. Buy my parents a house in the town/city I want to live in.

2. Buy any of the following a home in the town/city I want to live in (within reason, for example some might get a condo some might get a house): My Aunt Darlene, My Grandma Ghislaine, My Grandma Johnson, My Aunt Sara, My Uncle Richard, Tyler's Mom, Tyler's Neice (in her name but allow Kim & Tyrone to live there LOL).

3. Build my dream home including:

-indoor (with outdoor capablities) swimming pool, heated

-large library style office

-front attached garage

-theatre room complete with theatre seating, projector & screen, popcorn machine...

-nice yard

-Master Suite (corner jet tub, 2 person shower, double sinks, separate toilet room, 2 walk-in closets)

-minimum 2 bdrms + guest room

-home gym with tv (digital cable) and elliptical trainer

4. Buy myself a nice new vehicle like an SUV &/or Jeep &/or Honda Civic. Buy Tyler a nice vehicle.

5. Give Tyler $30,000 to fix up his Pontiac.

6. Set up education funds for our (future) children.

7. Rent out our current home or possibly sell it and buy 2 smaller properties to rent out or possibly allow one of my friends/family to live in it.

8. Pay off my student debt & credit card debt.

9. Hire a full time hair stylist, chef, gardner and maid (different people).

10. Travel to New York (yes again. Spend as LONG as I want there), Greece, Italy, Austrailia, Europe and many many more places.

11. Quit my day job.

12. Buy presents for my friends. I'm not sure what presents & which friends but it'll happen. I want to help people out but I don't want to set the up for failure either (as Dr.Phil says "money doesn't solve money problems") But maybe an all expense paid trip somewhere.

13. Have some babies. Hopefully twins.

14. Try to get some backstage passes for "the Office".

15. Donate to SPCA regularly.

I'm sure there's much, much more but I'm running out of time in my work day. Basically I need the whole $40 million from this Wednesday's 6-49!

This Morning...

Knackered: adjective British Slang. exhausted; very tired

I am knackered. I set my alarm for about 5:50am so that I could go for a morning swim and instead I played snooze button until 7:30am at which time I then had to hustle my butt to be on time for work. I stopped and got a medium coffee on the way in. I only get coffee or drink coffee about 20% of the time.

Last night I had a weird dream. I dream that I was having surgery: both liposuction and some other mystery surgery. The actual dream took place as I was waking from the first surgery. I felt a bit stiff and not sore yet but I knew I was on some painkillers and that they might wear off at any moment. That is a WEIRD feeling, impending pain. So in the dream they had lipo'ed my stomach but only a little bit of my legs so I was oddly porportioned...and had creepy scars. That'll teach me to watch a 30 second clip about a surgery show before I fall asleep.

Banff Part I

So despite the fact that I have about a bazillion things to do workwise, I am SO not in the mood for work so thought I'd work on journalling our trip to Banff (the non-fat part).

Saturday:

We drove to Calgary, where we spent some quality time with our niece Kira, then drop onwards to Banff. Arriving at about 3:30pm we found the map a bit deceiving in terms of distance: we thought everything was a lot farther away from things then they were. Which is mostly a good thing LOL So it turns out that our hotel, the Rimrock Resort, is a very short walk to the Gondola ride and the Hot Springs. Bonus! Our hotel was really beautiful and our room got upgraded so we got a view of Rundle (I believe) Mountain. The room itself was nice but nothing to right home about...it just had all the basics. After checking in we decided to grab a few phamplets of local activities and then take the bus into town for some window shopping and dinner. Since we aren't much for clubbing we decided we would shop until about 8:30pm (stores closed at 9pm) then go for dinner. We had fun looking into the shops and when we headed to the Saltlik (it was suggested to us) we were informed that it would be a 1.5 hour wait! Guess everyone had the same idea as us LOL So we wandered over to Giorgio's Trattoria to see if the wait would be less there. It was only about ten minutes there.

Giorgio's was kind of a fancy place. I decided to order a crab risotto and Tyler got a stuffed pork chop. Then, last minute I decided to order the antipasto appetizer. What an experience that was :-) Tyler and I aren't that fancy of people. I thought it was like that mixed stuff and crackers...instead it was a platter of greens, weird meat slices, olives (yummy), white beans, and strong cheese. Some of it was good, some okay, and some gross. We had fun with it but probably wouldn't order it again! The rest of our meal was good. Then we each had dessert...and a few drinks. Our bill came to about $130! Just for the two of us...we are expensive.

Then we took a brisk walk to the bus stop & waited for it to come...then saw it coming on the other side of the road. So we ran across and flagged it down. The bus driver was super nice, and the bus went right to our hotel door. The moutain air really exhausted us so we settled in for an "early" night shortly before midnight and not sure what we were doing the next day. We were considering:

-ATV ride

-White Water Rafting

-Horse Ride

-Gondola

-Hot Springs

-Shopping

This morning...

I went swimming again. The first time in about a month. I don't know why it is so hard for me to stay motivated or to stick to stuff. Anyhoo the swim went well but now I am starving and tired.

Being Fat is my disability

First off, wow. It's been about two weeks since I've posted at all. What a slacker I am!

So my husband & I went to Banff this weekend for some alone time and sight seeing. All in all we had a good trip. But there were a few instances when I was like “It sucks to be overweight”. And I know that some of you are thinking “Duh” and “Okay so do something about it”.

First off I have certainly tried to have a healthier lifestyle and it is pretty difficult to create and maintain good eating and exercise habits when you have been practicing the bad ones for so long. And if some of you “skinny” peeps are getting on your high horse I have few questions for you:

Do you smoke?
When was the last time you hit a gym?
Do you eat balanced meals all the time or can your skinniness be attributed to a good metabolism?

So anyway that’s not the point of my blog. Please read on.

So my first negative experience with being fat in Banff was when we went for a horseback ride. I had to get on the horse for one…no easy feat to swing your leg around when you are less than flexible. Then the whole 2 hour horse ride I found myself questioning if my weight was crushing the horse, and clenching my muscles in fear of falling off or being thrown off the horse. Towards the end of the ride I started thinking about how I was going to have to get off this horse.

Banff is a place for fit people. There are beautiful trails for hiking, mountains to climb, etc. When we went up the gondola there were tons of sculpted, tanned people who just finished climbing the mountain hanging around. I couldn't help but stare at them and wish that I hadn't screwed up my physcially self so much. Just climbing up a baby hill or stairs makes me out of breath and I feel so, subhuman.

That night we went to the hot springs. Being in a bathing suit is always traumatic but it's especially so when there are woman all around you in great shape. It's even worse when you see Mom's who have young babies or toddlers who have already sprung back to their tonned bods.

The next day we had a spa day. The lady directed us to the change rooms and asked us to change into the bathrobes provided. Suprise they only come in one size. It's an XL and it's too small...unless I want to flash my boobs & crotch for all to see. So that's upsetting. Then for my wrap the lady used some very small towels to cover my naughty bits. At one point I'm sure she had a not-so-nice view of my butt cheeks.

So I came home feeling not so great about my shape. Pretty depressed about it actually. So I'm going to try to get back on my swimming regime. And hopefully my new business venture will keep me busy and now that it's summer there isn't much good TV on so there isn't that to thwart me.