Coupon Sites & Baby Facts

My friend June (who is also a new reader to the blog - 'hey june!') hooked me up with some great, Canadian coupon sites. Since its always nice to save money, I'm sharing the sites with you all:

-www.flyerland.ca

-www.gocoupons.ca

-www.save.ca

-www.pampers.ca (to collect points & sign up for coupons)

-www.redflagdeals.com

-www.smartcanucks.ca

I also got the following website from Readers Digest I think: http://www.mommysavers.com/

Now for some fun baby facts that I got emailed today:

-The most popular day for babies to make their entrance? It's now Wednesday. (This is the first year since at least 1990 that Tuesday wasn't the biggest birth day.)

-In 2006, August hosted the most U.S. baby births.

-In 1970, the average age for a first-time mother was about 21. In 2005, the average age of first-time moms when they gave birth was 25

-The number of babies born to unmarried women is at an all-time high, totaling more than 1.6 million and rising almost 8 percent in 2006. This total is 20 percent higher than in 2002, when an upswing began. And it's 7 percent higher than 2005. The percentage of all births to unmarried women in 2006 was 38.5 percent, an increase from 36.9 percent in 2005.

-To put the results of this trend in perspective, here are the numbers: There are 9.8 million single moms living with kids under 18 in the United States, up from 3.4 million in 1970.

-In 1980, four in ten out-of-wedlock births were to teens, but in 2006, just over 2 in 10 were to teens.

-First-time moms' work status during and after pregnancy, 2001 to 2003:

Percentage who worked during the month before they gave birth: 80 percent. By contrast, between 1961 and 1965, 35 percent of first-time moms worked during the last month of pregnancy.

Percentage who were working by the sixth month after they gave birth: 55 percent. By contrast, in the early 1960s, the percentage for first-timers was 14 percent.

-The number of cesarean deliveries in 2006 rose to 31.1 percent of all births, a 3 percent rise from 2005 and another record high. The c-section rate has climbed 50 percent in the United States over the last decade.

-Sixteen percent of preterm and 24 percent of term and higher deliveries were induced in 2006.

-Number of births in 2006 that were the mother’s eighth or more: 18,674

Longwinded Complaining

I especially made sure I wrote this blog as I felt that I was challenged to by my husband, Tyler. When he heard Kim, Tyrone and company were coming this weekend he said "oh there's a blog for sure." So here it is honey, just for you, dripping with negativity! I can't help it...

I've officially decided that Kim is either manipulative or two-faced. I'm not sure which is a better description of her behavior. I'm also not necessarily saying it's a conscious behavior but it’s definitely happening. She and Tyrone displayed several other annoying behaviors as I will rant about below. I also am posting a pic of the four of them (and Mary) from Tehya's first day so that you can see what the faces of idocracy look like (in case you haven't seen them before).

Saturday was Kris (the stepmom’s) 60th birthday so a bunch of us were invited out to Kris & Willie’s for the day, supper & evening. I wasn’t feeling well so I thought it best to keep my germs to myself as long as possible and got there at about 5pm. Tyler went out at noon. I also find that I have less patience and am more irritable being pregnant so I have less tolerance for Kim and Tyrone (KT for laziness or K for Kim for laziness) than normal.

First annoying behavior of KT, is how they seem to think if other people are around that must mean we want to babysit their kids so that they can have fun and do whatever they want. Luckily being sick I had an excuse for why I couldn’t hold Tehya all day long (or at all). However that didn’t stop Kira from running loose on the acreage with no supervision for most of the time I was there. She was stomping on well covers (dangerous), playing in black dirt (messy), going in & out of the house constantly and running around outside without a jacket on. Nothing major but certainly a string of minor offences that should have been nipped in the bud.

Second annoying behavior of K was how she likes to drink alcohol and breastfeed. According to the Canadian Family Physician website, the correct behavior is “Nursing mothers who choose to drink alcohol during the postpartum period should carefully plan a breastfeeding schedule by storing milk before drinking and waiting for complete elimination of alcohol from their breast milk after drinking. Motherisk has created an algorithm to estimate how long it takes to eliminate alcohol from breast milk.” Whereas Kim’s plan was to drink (beer & wine) however much she wanted and continue breastfeeding the whole day (as well as on Sunday). Not only do I think this behavior is disgusting, couple it with the fact that KT are SO concerned about fluoride in water and MSG etc, and it just seems grossly hypocritical.

Third annoying behavior of K was how she kept sprinkling in to conversations how she is going to have another kid. The last time we talked about her getting pregnant again, at her baby shower, she said that she had to first have surgery to remove her fibroids and then she could focus on getting pregnant. Her deadline was to be pregnant before 39 or give up. Fibroids, were one of her many medical complaints during her pregnancy. I didn’t know anything about them and couldn’t be bothered to find out before or really even now to be honest with you. Anyway, her baby shower was only a month ago and now suddenly I don’t hear anything about waiting, just how if it were up to her she’d be making a baby right now (gross imagery by the way).

Fourth annoying behavior is how K feels the need to freak me out with pregnancy and labor and post-labor stories. I squashed it early on this Saturday by saying, “oh well I have Placenta Previa and if it doesn’t correct itself then I’ll be having a pre-schedule c-section.” That shut her up for a while.

Alright so onto the manipulative or two-faced business. First of all, Kim very much likes to be negative. I couldn’t recall the last time we had a positive conversation that wasn’t complaining about someone (Tyrone, Kris & Willie, a mutual friend)…fuelled by her its hard not to get sucked into the complaining. So anyway, it was about 11:30pm or so and Kira was still wide awake watching movies (oh but K assures us that Kira sleeps on a strict schedule at home, NOT. I find it hard to believe that a kid who is on a very consistent sleep schedule of being in bed around 8pm, would be able to stay up to midnight or later each & every night they visit other people). The sleep thing is annoying behavior number 5 I think. Tehya was also off & on awake. Kris, let us know that she was tired and was going to bed. The guys were all out in the garage playing ‘poker pool’ or something that I don’t have any interest in playing. I mentioned that it was about twenty to eleven and Kim was all like “Omigod it is really? Oh, I really wanted to be home hours ago so the kids could be in bed.” So after visiting some more and her making no move to leave, I said that I was going to let Tyler know I was ready to go. I was sick after all and it was now 12:23, so I let Tyler know that it was time to go home. His response was “we’re almost done”. Okay, but I’m 5 months pregnant, tired, sick and it’s a 30 minute drive home…hello! I turn to Tyrone and tell him (as per Kim’s instructions), Tehya is in her car seat and Kim is ready to go. His response? “Yeah well we’ll leave when I’m finished this game.” Wow, does this seem inappropriate to anyone but me? Your 2 month old is sitting in her car seat ready to go and your 2 ½ year old is still wide awake but should be in bed, baby mama is ready and they can all wait until you’re done your pool game (which they had been playing since ten by the way).

So I was a little pissed off as I don’t like being talked down to (by Tyler) which he certainly seems to do more when he’s with his dad & brother, and not impressed with how Tyrone acts so I left the garage. I decided to load up the car (we had our dogs there) and give him a few minutes to wrap up his precious game. Meanwhile, Kim goes over to the garage and gets her car key from Tyrone. She complains to me as we’re loading up the cars about how she is going to have to get up with Teyha ever 2 hours and how Tyrone doesn’t help much etc (though thinking back she just a few hours before was talking about how Tyrone pretty much takes care of Kira now so she can deal with Teyha). It takes a bit to get this all organized, and Kim even goes back to the garage while I stay with the packed up kids in the car now, and no guys yet. We decide to drive over to the garage & park in front of it (as they are on an acreage)…I would have liked to have left Tyler there to prove a point but I didn’t. I go inside, as it is now about 12:50 (half an hour later for those of you who are counting) and the game looks exactly the same as it did when I had come in the first time. So now I’m really bitchy and want to leave now and am even more bitchy as I hate looking like the bitch in front of his family and I’m like “is the world going to end if you don’t end this game?” Tyrone says “Well maybe you guys wouldn’t be in such a hurry if you were out here playing with us.” That’s logical? With his 2 ½ year old and 2 month old? Whatever. So I snarkily reply “Tyrone do you get up with Kira in the morning?” (as she is notorious for waking up at 5am or 6am no matter how late she goes to bed) and he says “Oh Fuck Off Crystal” followed by something like “you have no idea what I do”. Which, I don’t know about you, but I loved getting sworn at. Kim, just stands in the doorway of the garage and doesn’t say a word. Then when she decides to walk over, Tyrone says to her “you could have put Kira to bed here” and Kim says, super sweetly (and not at all mad at him it seems), “oh honey she’s a bear right now. She really needs to get back and to bed.” And that’s about it. So now I’m feeling played. Like she just got me all riled up, to come in here and be bitchy, and then she walks in all understanding and perfect wife like. And I can’t help but wonder if she just did that on purpose?

The next day, at Jim & Maureen’s there were a few more displays of annoying behavior. About 30 minutes before dinner was to be ready, Kira (2 ½) walks up to Maureen’s pantry and swings the door open, points and INSISTS on eating “that”. Well not only is this the first time Kira’s been to Maureen’s (first of her memory anyway), but it’s almost dinner time. I don’t think that kids should behave in this way, I think they should have manners enough to have asked their own parents if they could have something to eat before helping themselves and demanding it of the hostess. Needless to say, Kira was given what she wanted (as almost always) and then proceeded to eat maybe two bites of hot dog for supper with a ½ cup of ketchup. She didn’t touch the rest of her plate, but she was rewarded with a chocolate after her uneaten dinner! And then she proceed to grab at the desserts out on a plate and put her grimy hands all over them. Again, manners?

Annoying Behavior Number Six: At one point during the day, Kim made some display about taking Tehya downstairs to visit with Kira and Tyrone (who was getting her PJs on) and all she got was “beat on”. Tehya by Kira. I’m not that comfortable with physical abuse as it is, but a 2 ½ year old on a 2 month old? Come on women. Anyway, I just shook my head internally as it seems a play for attention (again manipulating people).

Annoying Behavior Number Seven: This was followed, a little while later, with Kim making a big display about how she needs to pump (as she is not breastfeeding technically. She is pumping breast milk into bottles and then bottle feeding) and she can’t as she’s the only one who can look after Tehya and oh can’t anyone hold Tehya for a bit? Well I was still sick and said so, Tyler just plain wasn’t interested, but Maureen foolishly volunteered even though she hadn’t even finished her supper yet.

Kim obviously likes to play the victim but I’m sorry, she is 37 years old and deserves all that she gets. If she is dumb enough to procreate with a loser like Tyrone and continue wanting to procreate with him then quite honestly I think that should be a crime punishable by law not rewarded with sympathy and pity and generosity.

Annoying Behavior Number Eight: We were discussing baby names (and how I have no clue) and Kim says “whatever you do, please don’t use Tyrus as that is Tyrone’s name he is set on for our boy”. First off, yuck I would never use that name as it sounds like a dinosaur. Secondly (and I didn’t think this until after), but I should have responded with “oh but am I allowed to use Evan as that is my actual husband’s middle name?” as that was the middle name they have picked out to use with Tyrus. Thirdly, not only should she not be having another kid, she should not be having another kid with Tyrone and if they do have another one, I wish another girl upon them to see how they handle that. Kim made a comment during the day, which I can’t remember verbatim, but along the lines of “if Crystal has a boy then that takes the pressure off of me to have another baby.”

As for if Kim is manipulative or two-faced, this weekend was only one example of the many I can see in hindsight. Many times I have questioned if she tells the truth very often or if she makes things up for drama. And she likes to complain about stuff wtih Tyrone but then she'll defend to the death what a great "man & dad he is". I don't have the energy to care anymore and I'm seriously considering putting in more boundries in our life and seeing them less. Everytime I see them or interact with them I come away feeling very negative and judgemental and this is not the kind of life I want. I am striving to be more positive and I really don't see how interacting with them improves my life?

Temping, Proper Speech and Other Updates

Temping

So far I have done some temp work at two different offices.

The first office was suppose to be one week plus one day & got extended an extra week. Smaller office but 3 women that work there and try/tried very hard to make sure they included me on all the coffee breaks etc. I'd say they like/liked me because they asked me to come back for today to help cover the phones and two separate weeks in the summer for sure. The work is decent, taking maintenance requests via phone & email and then transfering them into work orders via their computer system. In the down time, there is equipment to enter into their new system so I always have something to do which is nice.

The second office was for 3 1/2 days and was nicely located only 3 minutes drive from my house. It was for an rig company that is on spring breakup so their office was super quiet. In fact, not only did they encourage me to bring a book or something to do while I was there, but they also left me in charge of the entire office once they had "made an appearance" for the day and decided to go home. So for the most part I was by myself from at least 10am to 4:30pm. I like myself so I didn't mind that too much. Especially since I was allowed to do non-work stuff, I'd much rather not have an audience for that! I ended up working on my heritagemakers.com online scrapbook stuff which was awesome. As an added bonus, they insisted on paying me for rounding up each day's hours so I got paid for 4, 8, 8 & 8 hours instead of 3.5, 7.5, 7.5 & 7.5. That's 2 extra hour of pay...actually the lady wanted me to lock up early on my last day so I got another 1/2 hour for that day.

The first job paid $15/hour & the second paid $14/hour. Not what I'm used to getting paid for sure but better than retail pay & much better than no pay staying home so I'm happy enough with that. Especially since the jobs are relatively low on the challenge meter. While I don't love working, I am enjoying the sense of accomplishment it brings to my day as well as the money in my bank. I also enjoy the social aspect of meeting new people. An extra perk to the temp work is that I have a greater appreciation for my time on the days I am not temping!

Proper Speech

There are a couple words that I have somehow developed the bad habit of pronoucing wrong and it brings my husband great joy to point it out everytime I say them. The first one I say is "supposably" versus the correct "supposedly," and the second one is "suffercate" versus "suffacate". I think "suffer-cate" makes more sense as I am usually suffering when I say it LOL

I was watching "Jimmy Fallon" and Jeff Probst (the host of 'Survivor') totally used "supposably". Since we have a PVR digital cable system I instantly hit record so that I could show Tyler that even if I was wrong, at least I was in celebrity company (and not just ditzy celebrity company). It then spawned a conversation where I googled "supposably vs supposedly" to see if anyone had written about it. Turns out supposably is a word, however it is NOT synonomous with supposedly so I was still using it wrong. Also turns out that there are a lot of people who list the incorrect usage of this word as one of their pet peeves. Interesting.

Even though I am not perfect at grammar & word use myself, it still annoys me when I see certain words used incorrectly in very public places. Your/you're is very commonly used wrong. Recently I also saw a sign that read "No payments till July". The till they used refers to a cash register when I'm sure they meant 'til short for 'until'.

Other Updates

Not too many plans for this upcoming weekend. My mom, grandma & sister were suppose to come down so that my sister could stake out 'Marvel College'. However my sister accidently booked off the wrong weekend (she & many other people assumed next weekend was the long one) and my Grandma's boyfriend is very sick so they all decided to post pone it. I don't think I've spoken on it, but my Grandma's boyfriend Ross - who is a super awesome guy & very good for her - has cancer for the second time and is not doing very well. Both of the past Christmas' it was thought that he wouldn't make it through, and though he has, it seems he doesn't have much left in him now. The extra stinky part is that it was only in 2001 that my Grandpa died and my Grandma had to watch him suffer, sick for many years also. She's an incredibly strong lady but it doesn't seem fair that she should have to go through that twice and so soon. Life ain't about being fair though!

So since my family ditched, we are somewhat obligated to attend Tyler's stepmom's birthday supper. Tyler's uncle on his dad's side is going to be up with his son and son's girlfriend as well and his birthday is within a few days so they are sort of doing a combined celebration. Tyrone, Kim & family are going to be around also, but THANKFULLY they are staying at someone else's house for the weekend so I am mega pumped about that. Must have built up some good kharma :-) Though when Tyler & I were talking about this weekend, Tyler's like "oh you'll be seeing Tyrone & Kim...guaranteed blog now". Am I that predictable or are they?

Next weekend, Tyler & I are going to the thriving metropolis of Grimshaw for my cousin's grad and to pick up a Fifth Wheel RV from my parents! Last year we were tossing around the idea of getting some sort of RV but we couldn't really agree on what to get (super nice as per me, super cheap as per Tyler) nor did we really have any extra bucks. My parents said they had only used their's once in the last two years so we were more than welcome to HAVE it if we wanted it. I am all about free stuff but Tyler was hesitant as nothing is free from his family (there are either financial costs or some other "strings" involved). So it's a 1989 I believe, about 24 1/2 feet long, and is decorated in dusty blues/pinks rather than oranges & browns. My Grandpa (on my mom's side) bought it new, used it a few times, then passed away and then my parents inherited it. It's in pretty good condition for its years as it hasn't been used much, except that the fridge stopped working recently so we'll have to get that fixed. I'm excited to do some camping this year since I hate tenting it and I'd so much rather have my own space then stay in Tyler's mom's fifth wheel. Now Tyrone & company can stay in Mary's RV all they want and we don't have to wake up at the butt crack of dawn like his family does. We can also go off and do our own camping without anyone else...mostly I just like camping food.

The major challenge will be saying 'no' to other people that I don't want to share my RV with and figuring out if Tyler's truck will be able to haul it.

A Blog from my Friend Kyla (somewhat relating to us)

DISCLAIMER: Please don't refer to this specific topic on Facebook as Kyla doesn't want to stir up any more trouble with her landlords until it's all sorted out.

May 6, 2009

Being this indirectly is linked to Crystal, I thought I would share a little story that Crystal suggested putting on her blog.

This morning at 10am, we had our landlords coming by to let the ATCO-Gas meter-reader in to our home to check the meter. This has been something they’ve done every few months (or monthly in some cases) for the past 2 years we’ve been living in our current residence. Well little did we know this particular time was going to be such a gong show!

Michael for his birthday on April 29th received an 8mm missile looking thing (I’m not even sure what it’s called exactly but it’s about a foot tall and looks like a mini-missile) from Tyler. We had it in our back room sitting on the floor next to our soup (as I don’t have a “home” for it yet) and this ATCO gas guy came in, saw it and freaked out! He stormed out of my house and was threatening to call the cops and telling my landlords if they did not do something he was going to take things into his hands, etc, etc. He just was freaking out through and through (I wasn’t at the house for this, just the lady landlord).

She called me and just asked if she and her husband could come by when I got home from work and I agreed. At this point I had no idea what had happened, I just assumed that the gas guy didn’t come, and they were going to be checking the meter themselves as they’ve done that in the past. So I get home, and around 4:30, they show up and I start doing my usual chit-chatty stuff with them and didn’t even notice the “not happy” looks on their face. Well they go straight into our furnace room and he taps the thing with his toe and was all “what is this?” (again, I’m still oblivious to his expression) and I was like “oh that? Michael’s buddy gave that to him last week for his birthday” and I babble about it for a second, and I am thinking he just thought thinks it’s cool or something and they are still there just to check the meter.

Well I was wrong! He proceeds to tell me the story about the gas guy and then he’s all “this is bad, this is very bad, you guys messed up big here” and my landlords are just furious! So I apologize and explain that it’s not real and it’s just a decorative piece. Michael had been sent home early due to lack of work (which I told him later was definetly a blessing from above because I don’t know that I could have dealt with this on my own – especially since I had no idea what this thing really was!) so I went and made him get out of the shower and explain to our landlords that it’s not a “live” weapon. Well that wasn’t good enough. They told us they had no choice but to call the police and S.W.A.T and whomever else had to be around. I straight up said that’s fine, do what you have to do – because really, we have nothing to hide!

So we said we’d call for them being it was our house, and then they suggested we just go to the station instead. We hopped in our vehicles and drove to the station where I went in and explained to the policeman what had happened, and we just wanted them to confirm for our landlords there was no problem with our ornament. Anyways, the police honestly seemed to care less about the situation. They looked at it and said that of course they have to assume its “live” until further clarity, but they would look into it. They were so casual about it I felt so much better. So we wrote our name/number/address down on a STICKY-NOTE (tells you how much of a “big deal” this was right? They did not even file a report!) and we went on our way.

Now, when we got into the parking lot, I went over to my landlords and said “okay, so are things alright between us now?” and they just huffed and said “I’m just not sure yet.” and jumped in their vehicle and drove off. They still anticipate that our house will be searched and this is “serious”.

I immediately called Crystal to tell her our the story. She told Tyler later, and then Tyler called Michael later to apologize/explain the story behind it. We hold no bad feelings toward Tyler as frankly it wasn’t a bad thing he did giving him it. Tyler called to confirm though that it was definetly decommissioned – his dad had found it some odd 25 years ago, and when he found it he personally took it in to get decommissioned just to be safe. Tyler has had it for 9 years, and they were cleaning house and Michael had admired it last time we were there, so Tyler gave it to him as a gift.

Where I stand:
-This caused me exuberant amounts of stress which is NOT good for someone 36 weeks pregnant.
-My landlords were extremely rude and harsh and would not accept any form of apology we offered.
-I feel strongly they want to kick us out.
-I am not sure if I did anything wrong – like, was the ATCO guy out of place? Was the landlord out of place? Were we in the wrong to have this in our home? What are my rights here?
-Now that I reflect on it, with some other “issues” we’ve had with our landlord/upstairs people, I find they are acting more like parents than landlords, and I’m not sure I want to deal with them any longer.
-This is a completely attack on my person (at least that’s how I am taking it unintentionally) and I’m really upset about it.
-I do appreciate where they are coming from, but the way they have handled things is not so impressive.

Was feeling "green"...

so I changed my template up. Nice to spice things up once in a while. Also I am killing time at my temp job LOL

The Great Diaper Dilemma

Cloth versus Disposable Diapers
To be honest, I had never really considered anything but disposable diapers until my father-in-law's wife Kris asked me what I was going to do. I was bored on her acreage when she asked (at Easter) so I used my blackberry to google it. There are definitely economical and environmental reasons to go with cloth but is that reason enough to out weight the perceived convenience??

Cost, Convenience, Time, Etc:

-I hate doing laundry and our washer & dryer are in the basement whereas baby's room is two floors up, upstairs.
-I am very grossed out by poo (baby, adult or animal produced). Not sure if I can stomach whatever is necessary to do cloth diapers.
-Cloth diapers have come a LONG way from when I was a baby. They are more than just a facecloth with clothes' pins nowadays.

-"Disposable diapers, especially the super-absorbent AGM type, generally require fewer changes and less change time than cloth diapers. They also are convenient for travel and day-care use. Cloth diapers take up less purchase time, but they require additional time for washing and folding, if laundered at home."

-There is an initial start-up cost to doing cloth diapers. My friend Katherine has a friend Melody in Lacombe who has a company called "All Natural Babies" (search it on facebook to check out the catalogue) which shows some of the cloth diaper lines. Most of the diapers seem to be adjustable to work for the entire diaper age range. They price ranged about $15-23 dollars each. I'm not sure how many diapers you would need though?? Most estimates say it'll be about $2-300 dollars to start up with cloth.

-"...disposable diapers can cost between $1500 and $2100 over the course of the three years it takes the average child to be toilet trained," Diane Weathers of Consumer Reports said."

-"The basic numbers show that you will spend approximately $50 a month for disposables (with wipes) compared to about $40 a month for washing your own cloth diapers or about $50 a month for a diaper service. So the acquisition of the diapers themselves shows cloth to be cheaper, but overall cost of care is not very different"

Enviromental Considerations:

-"Throwaway diapers make up the third most common item in our landfill spaces, behind paper products and food containers. Since the average disposable takes about 500 years to break down in a landfill, the proportion of diapers there is ever-increasing."

-"The amount of water to wash diapers is about the same as it is for a potty trained child or adult flushing the toilet." says one source while another says "Generally, creating waste in landfills by using disposable diapers is no more environmentally harmful than using water and energy to wash cloth diapers," Weathers said.[Weathers is from Consumer Reports]

-"Although some diapers are touted as biodegradable, the lack of oxygen in landfills means disposable diapers can take a long time to break down."

-"Judging the relative environmental impact of each method, then, means deciding to what extent solid waste is a more important problem than water use and wastewater disposal."

Ideally, I would like to shadow someone who uses cloth diapers and see how it affects their day. However I don't see that being realistic. I'm still on the fence about this topic but leaning towards disposables at this point.

Sources:
http://www.healthunit.com/article.aspx?ID=10271

http://www.perc.ca/waste-line/articles/diaper.html

3D Ultrasounds: FAQ & Internet Information

I facebooked a girl I used to work with & she said that "most" of her ultrasounds were 3d and she didn't pay anything for them as they were doctor ordered. I'm not sure how many she had, but she obviously had multiple ultrasounds that were 3D. If the exposure effected her baby in any way, I'm sure I would have heard about it by now!

From: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/3D_ultrasound#Timing_of_3D_ultrasound

"Gender determination is the most accurate at 20 weeks and beyond, with a rate of 95%, as reported in the medical literature based on ob/gyn visits generally done at 20 weeks."

From one of the Companies that does 3D Ultrasounds: http://www.uc-baby.com/en/why-uc-baby/faq.php

Is 3D Ultrasound safe?
When it comes to safety there is no difference between 3D and traditional 2D Ultrasounds. Because both ultrasound methods use same kind of sound waves.
The last 50 years of research shows no harm to the developing baby from ultrasound scanning. Ultrasound is one of the safest means available for scanning unborn babies. The greatest risks arising from the use of ultrasound are the possible by inadequately trained staff and using poor equipment.

What are the benefits of 3D or 4D ultrasound?

Because the 3D pictures and 4D videos are more life-like, there is better and stronger bonding between parents and the baby. Increased bonding has been shown to improve mother's care of herself and therefore of her baby. Also 3D ultrasound increases the sense of maternal well-being and enjoyment of the pregnancy.

Can I find out the sex of my baby during the 3D ultrasound?

Yes, you can. The sex is determined after 20 weeks and the accuracy while not 100% is higher with 3D ultrasound. It depends on the baby's position, amniotic fluid around the baby, location of the cord and the mother's body type.

From: http://www.askquestions.org/articles/ultrasound/

"To date, studies of humans exposed to ultrasound have shown the following possible adverse effects: growth retardation, dyslexia, and delayed speech development. But only one effect, a higher rate of left-handedness among boys exposed to neonatal ultrasound, has been observed in at least three separate studies. "

"In other words, doctors accept that there may be risks, but they believe that medical ultrasound remains a beneficial practice when performed by a trained operator for diagnostic purposes. According to Dr. Joshua Copel, Professor of Obstetrics and Gynecology and Pediatrics at Yale University, “It’s impossible to prove ultrasound is completely safe, but if you’re getting medically helpful information, then the tradeoff is reasonable.”"

"The biggest wildcard in the politics of ultrasound — even bigger than big money — is the anti-abortion movement’s embrace of the technology. Calling the images a “miracle,” activist newsletters and magazines abound in reports of women who change their minds about abortion after seeing 3D videos of their unborn fetus. "

From: http://www.ob-ultrasound.net/

"It has been over 40 years since ultrasound was first used on pregnant women. Unlike X-rays, ionizing irradiation is not present and embryotoxic effects associated with such irradiation should not be relevant. The use of high intensity ultrasound is associated with the effects of "cavitation" and "heating" which can be present with prolonged insonation in laboratory situations.

Although certain harmful effects in cells are observed in a laboratory setting, abnormalities in embryos and offsprings of animals and humans have not been unequivocally demonstrated in the large amount of studies that have so far appeared in the medical literature purporting to the use of diagnostic ultrasound in the clinical setting. Apparent ill-effects such as low birthweight, speech and hearing problems, brain damage and non-right-handedness reported in small studies have not been confirmed or substantiated in larger studies from Europe. The complexity of some of the studies have made the observations difficult to interpret. Every now and then ill effects of ultrasound on the fetus appears as a news item in papers and magazines. Continuous vigilance is necessary particularly in areas of concern such as the use of pulsed Doppler in the first trimester.

The greatest risks arising from the use of ultrasound are the possible over- and under- diagnosis brought about by inadequately trained staff, often working in relative isolation and using poor equipment. "

Obviously there is conflicting opinions out there. The gist of what I'm reading is that a) there is no evidence directly linking ultrasound with negative effects but b) since they are unsure of the risks, the official world does not support the 3d ultrasounds for non-medical purposes. Ultimately, as with EVERY decision about baby, you have to weigh the pros/cons for yourself.

Contemplating 3D/4D Ultrasounds

So right off the bat, I feel very hypocritical even considering a 3D/4D ultrasound because about 6 weeks ago I had absolutely no interest in getting one. I thought that they looked kind of creepy and were very expensive and that I would easily like to spend that money on something else.

However, in light of us not finding out gender at the 18 week ultrasound as I had hoped, I found myself considering this option. Here's the info:

-I can get in for May 15th (a Friday so Tyler can be there too) in Red Deer at the "Central Alberta Fertility Clinic",

-for $150 you get a 30 minute appointment & 5 - 6 pictures printed off,

-for an additional $25 you can get a 15 - 30 minute DVD made of moving video clips,

-they ARE there for your entertainment so I'm hoping they'd be a little nicer than the other lady,

-as an added bonus you are suppose to arrive with an EMPTY bladder.

I do have another regular ultrasound scheduled for July 3rd (also a Friday for Tyler). I am not 100% satisfied with knowing that because:

-that is a whole 2 months away and only about 2 months or so before baby is due (2 months ISH depending on circumstances),

-there are still no guarantees that we can find out gender at that appointment. The appointment is for them to identify the location of my placenta at that point and see if its still near or covering my cervix and I can already see them being so concerned with that, that they won't bother with gender.

In addition to that, I still feel as if I am not yet connected to baby. I've been going through a bunch of parenting magazines that I've stockpiled (a whole other story) and I keep coming across advertisements for the 3D/4D which are getting me more and more on board. One of the points they made is that it helps you connect with baby & I could see that. It also says that they use the exact same technology & frequency of normal ultrasounds so that makes me feel better about the exposure factor. I also feel like I was "ripped" off of a positive experience at my last ultrasound and want to have a positive experience to reflect on for our baby.

If you're like me and you're wondering what the difference between 3D & 4 D is...

-3D is because you have depth in addition to height & width,

-4D is when you actually have the motion as well (so a video verus a still picture).

I'm still not 100% sure though as cost is still a factor for me, though it is less expensive than I thought it would be and I AM a scrapbooker so the extra photos could come in handy. Another big factor is of course there are still no guarantees that we'll find out gender at this appointment. So I think I need to decide if there is more elements to this that I'd enjoy other than just gender. They could also be wrong about gender (as a normal u/s tech could be), as I just heard a story directly from a girl who was told she was having a boy. Then ended up with another ultrasound (as they found out their baby had cystic fibrosis) and at that u/s were told girl. They had a girl. I'm not sure if she was here in town or not. I'm going to find out though!

Ugh, pregnancy is just the beginning of making endless decisions. At this point the good outweighs the bad for me but I haven't specifically discussed it with Tyler yet. I'm going to try to remember to talk to him tonight about it.

Oh & I googled "images" of 3D ultrasound and they are better than I remembered them being. However I think the further along you are, the better they'll be & I'll only be about 22 weeks (which is the earliest they do them).

To Vaccinate or Not To Vaccinate, that's one of the questions!

DISCLAIMER: My intent was to write a blog outlining the pros/cons of both sides of the coin, however I find I am way to much on the one side to fairly write about the other side. I apologize to those who were maybe looking for more info on why not to vaccinate. You won't find it here, sorry!

One of my favorite TV shows, "Law & Order" is famous in my books for writing shows that are very current in terms of what is going on in reality. Very "art imitating life". A week or so ago "Law & Order SVU" did a show on a baby dying. It actually starred 'Hilary Duff' (shout out to Kyla!) as a young mother. The story started out being about her being an unfit mom but it turned out her less than 12 month old baby died from the measles. They traced the measles to a woman who didn't believe in vaccinating her toddler who had gotten the measles and recovered. The problem was, measles is highly contagious and in the meantime, when he wasn't displaying any symptoms, she had taken him to a park where he had passed on the sickness to other kids who were too young to be vaccinated.

Here's some facts I learned about measles from Law & Order (I'm assuming they are true LOL):

-the virus or whatever causes the measles stays in the room after the infected person as left for 1 hour,

-it is contagious up to 200 yards away,

-you can be contagious for 21 days without having any symptoms.

Those are some scary facts! Especially since while yes, your kid could just get over it, they could also die from it. One of the important points the episode brought up for me in the whole vaccinating debate is that the decision you make not only effects your child but also other children around you. Are you willing to have the possiblity of other children's deaths & illness on your hands?

Jenny McCarthy is one of the leading voices on not vaccinating. Her son developed autism and she believes it was from vaccinations. Last I checked her son no longer displayed any autism symptoms due to a diet regimne she had him on. While I do love to take advice from celebrities, I've decided to research other opinions on the web...

I also think it's important to mention that one of my good-friend-from-growing-up's nephew has autism and when I mentioned Jenny McCarthy at our last social connection, my friend rolled her eyes and shook her head. It seems that Jenny may not be a voice for EVERYONE in the autism community!

Reasoning & quotes from those who do believe in Vaccinating:

-"largely because of the movement by a determined minority against vaccination, long eradicated diseases are gaining a new foothold, making vaccination as important as ever."

-"doctors are so worried about a potential public-health crisis that 22 medical and advocacy groups recently formed the Immunization Alliance in order to make sure that kids get immunized."

-kids can die from the diseases the vaccines prevent. If your child does get autism, he/she is still around for you to love & hold, if he/she dies they are not there at all.

-"The notion that childhood vaccines cause autism is a belief based on anecdotal experiences that is not backed up by the facts. There is now good scientific evidence that such a relationship does not exist. But not vaccinating children, or delaying to do so, can potentially have serious individual and public health consequences. The collective time lost from school, the individual misery, and the formidable complications (brain injury, deafness, and others) make it worthwhile to once again make those diseases obsolete."

-"Measles cases in the U.S. are at the highest level in more than a decade, with nearly half of those involving children whose parents rejected vaccination, health officials reported Thursday.
Worried doctors are troubled by the trend fueled by unfounded fears that vaccines may cause autism. The number of cases is still small, just 131, but that’s only for the first seven months of the year. There were only 42 cases for all of last year."

-"When a major drop in rates of immunization against whooping cough occurred in the UK in 1974, there was an outbreak of more than 100,000 cases and 36 deaths by 1978."

-Diseases that vaccinations help prevent: measles, polio, smallpox, diphtheria, chicken pox, meningitis, mumps, whooping cough,

Reasoning from those who don't belive in Vaccinating:

-believe vaccinations are linked to autism, aggression and other learning disabilities (though there is allegedly no concrete evidence of a link),

-"immune function obviously didn’t achieve perfection through vaccines, and I suspected immune function was on the decline. Everyone’s always sick. These are my unscientific, not-supported-by-statistics, observations about the people around me. "

-"I think that parents need to really think about medical advice that's one-size-fits-all, whether it's for a vaccine or something else, they need to look at their individual child"

A friend of mine & I were discussing how hypocritical some of these non-vaccinators can be. A friend of her's gets very "passionate" about her beliefs and how "wrong" it is to vaccinate yet she sees no problem with smoking marijuana and breastfeeding (let alone smoking marijuana period).

Evidence - it appears that some of the studies that supported a link between autism and vaccinatations have since been retracted due to "conflicts of interest" coming out. It's always interesting how people's personal motivations can motivate "scientific results"!

Which ever decision you make or I make is sure to have pro's & con's. If one decision had no con's then the choice would be obvious. All we can do, all we can ever do, is to do CREDIBLE research, trust our instincts and hope for the best. I feel that it is VERY common for opinions to be passed on which utilizes on scare tactics more than evidence (a.k.a. the mania that is Swine Flu right now), especially with the internet as an available tool for any person to spread their uneducated opinion like a wildfire.

Personally, I like to be a proactive person and I believe the proactive choice in this situation is to vaccinate. That was the decision my mother made for me and I never got the measles, mumps, polo etc. A few generations before me they didn't have these vaccines and millions suffered or died from these diseases. I also believe that this decision also helps the general public health and I'd like to be a positive contributor to society out of education then a negative contributor out of fear. I am also very skeptical of anything that appears to be more of a "hippie" attitude bucking the system than conventional wisedom. I don't believe in living my life in fear that some fictionalized man in a suit with money is buying political opinions and FDA approvals. However, that being said, if Michael Moore did a documentry on Vaccinates, he definitely has the power to sway me LOL That's the way the scales have tipped for me, what have/will you decide?

I also can't help but feel that this topic closely shadows the religious beliefs regarding blood transfusions etc, where certain people believe that they'd rather put their trust in their God then medical science. While I agree that medical science is more of an art than a science, I also feel that I'd rather do EVERYTHING I could to stack the odds in my favor.

Additional Comment: It's kind of like smoking. Yeah it's your decision, except that when you do it (smoke or not vaccinate) that action impacts the rest of the world (second hand smoke and increased disease breakouts respectively). One of the arguments of non-vaccinators is that it doesn't affect other children however it does:
-the ones who are too young to get vaccinated yet,
-those who the vaccine was unsuccessful with,
-those who are unable to get vaccinated due to medical reasons (such as an auto immune disease).

Interesting Articles:

Consequences of Not Vaccinating (Apr 6/09): http://momblog.santarosamom.com/default.asp?item=2360272

Rare Sickness Kills Child; Officials Urge Vaccination (Jan 23/09) :

http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/01/23/hib.vaccine.cdc/index.html

Sources:

http://blogs.consumerreports.org/health/2008/09/to-vaccinate-or.html

http://cdc.gov/vaccines/

http://www.vegfamily.com/vaccines/deciding-not-vaccinate.htm

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2002/12/04/earlyshow/contributors/emilysenay/main531638.shtml

http://www.kelownaparents.com/?p=247

For more information on vaccines in Canada, visit one of the sites below:
http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/im/index-eng.php
http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/hl-vs/iyh-vsv/med/immuniz-eng.php
http://www.cps.ca/caringforkids/immunization/VaccinationChild.htm

Follow up with Dr.Phil(pot) & Cool Website

So the majority of my appointment was spent talking about how I now have a low lying placenta. Which means that instead of being toward the back or top it is close to the cervix. So if it is still that way closer to my due date then it'll be an automatic c-section (which doesn't bother me all THAT much). For those that are interested in the bio lesson: the placenta is what nourishes the baby. Normally you would want the baby to deliver and then the placenta to follow. If it's in the way of the cervix, then I would have to c-section as baby needs to come out through the cervix.

I needed to schedule another ultrasound for the end of the 2nd/beginning of the 3rd trimester to check on it so I'm booked in for July 3rd. Two months away but better than nothing. Oh & if I end up having any bleeding I'll need to do an ultrasound right away. And I'm suppose to abstain from intercourse for now cuz it could irritate my cervix and cause bleeding (and yes I've selfishly considered not listening so that maybe it will cause bleeding and I'll get in sooner. But Tyler refused). She's also referring me to an Obstetrician just to be cautious and get his opinion (as I'm considered a little more high risk now). Most likely she figures he'll just give us some direction but tell me to keep seeing Dr.Phil (who's just a general practicioner not a specialized OB). I haven't googled anything yet about it but I'm sure there's a wealth of info out there.

C-sections don't scare me anymore than actual labor does. In fact, even though they are surgery, I think they'd be better in the long run as I have heard SO many horror stories about long labors and then followed by c-sections. Then I could guarantee baby was born in September (sapphire birthstone) as my due date is the 20th and I think pre-scheduled c-sections are done about two weeks early? Maybe they could even do a tummy tuck while they're down there?

She also mentioned that they baby is head down which I'm not sure if that's an issue or not as she didn't elaborate. Tyler had a large head for his size as a baby so I've been pretty freaked about that for a while!

Dr.Phil also informed me that they are changing how they are doing things a little as there is so many doctors retiring & semi-retiring and not doing deliveries anymore. Instead of having one doctor I'll have a group of doctors and when I go into labor (if that's the cause) then it could be any of those doctors who are scheduled for that day. That's how they do things at my friend Kyla's clinic and I'm actually surprised that doctors didn't come up with this idea sooner: Dr.Phil shared how difficult it can be if you take a day to help one of your patients deliver and then you have to try to take all those missed appointments and re-fit them into an already full schedule. So instead each doctor would have pre-set aside days of when they are doing deliveries (or on call for deliveries I guess). However all of that would be irrelevant if the Obstetrician decides he wants to keep me under his care.

I've also been referred to a cool website by a friend. It has recordings of pregnancy & baby related discussions. I haven't listened yet but I'm sure it's worth checking out:

http://www.pregtastic.com/

Baby Daddies

I'm sure most of you are filled in on the situation but in case you've forgotten here's the details:

My brother Cody was dating a girl, Crystal who is about 4 years older and has a 5 year old son. First of all, having kids brings baggage to a relationship (sad but true) and my brother is very young for his years so I wasn't all that kosher with him dating a girl with a kid (let alone someone so much older than him). Secondly, I have rarely met another Crystal I have liked.

That being said I had met her with an open mind. So in August/September of 2007 I met the girl and her kid. The kid's name is Blake and is a pretty cute one. His mother (& my brother's girlfriend at the time) was something else. She is one of those people who acts more like a big sister than a mother. She would say things to her son Blake like "don't be stupid" and "don't be a butthead" and I really hate when people talk to their kids like that. I think it's SO important for a mother to be her kids' #1 fan & supporter. Anyhoo, I wasn't too impressed with her. Then while I was there my brother & his girlfriend got into a mega fight - not in front of me as they lived together already (yes after they had only been dating for at most 4 months) & I was at my Aunt's house - but he come over to my Aunt's so we knew it was going on. When I left after the weekend it seemed they would be breaking up shortly.

One week or so later I get a phone call from my dad saying 'guess what?' and I correctly guessed that she was pregnant. Seemed a little too convenient. After Christmas the two of them got into yet another fight where she got violent & starting throwing things at him. My brother called my mom & said he wanted to leave and she encourage him to as if the cops were ever called they'd hardly believe this pregnant lady was the one being violent. She was definitely pissed that he left her as i'm sure her frame of mind was that babies trap men into relationships.

Her dates never really made sense along the way so I doubted she was pregnant the whole time but she did end up popping out a baby on May 2, 2008. However she ensured my brother wasn't there when baby was born by calling my Uncle's cell phone @ 2am instead of their house phone (my brother lives with my Aunt & Uncle). So she took the liberty of naming the baby herself: Chaise Alexander Corey Major (note my brother's name is Cody David Johnson so there is no reference to him, but Corey does happen to be one of their male friend's name, oh & she wasn't welcome at their house for a while...hmmm). So anyway, my brother was pretty upset about that, but he's also not the sharpest dude so they convinced him that he had to sign the bab papers and so he basically accepted the name by doing that.

In the beginning, when my mom & I came down Crystal brought Chaise over to my Aunt's house to visit. Which was nice of her. But then she realized we weren't going to be showering her with gifts or anything so she stopped being nice. She started refusing visitations and insisting that my brother pay child support through the courts (which he was giving her money without the courts). We visited a lawyer who gave us no hope even after we described the conditions of her home. Spent a few times in court, my brother gave up for a few months, then finally he has gotten re-involved again. Now he has visits ordered by the court every Tuesday, Thursday & every other weekend for a few hours each time. They are scheduled to go back to court on the second Thursday in June to re-evaluate how things are going & see if Cody can get more visiting in. Chaise will also be over a year old by then. In the meantime, Crystal has tried every "trick" in the book to get more money out of my brother:

-Maternity Payments: child support for the last three months of pregnancy. Her reasoning was that she needed money to get all the baby stuff in order. Funny, my brother does too but he doesn't get to ask her for money. The judge asked if he was willing to pay it, he said no, judge asked if he'd go half & Cody said fine. Judge ruled that he would pay $450 over the next 6 months versus the $900 she wanted all at once. Crystal was pissed.

-tried to get more than the $300/month that was ruled for child support based on my brother's income (my brother has maybe a 10th grade education & does manual labor for my Uncle for a living). Judge looked at the tax papers and said what he was paying was fair. So...

-she filed papers to have my Aunt's payroll audited to make sure they were paying my brother properly. Pain in the butt for my Aunt, but no changes were made.

-Then she asked for "activity payments" to be set up 90% my brother and 10% her. First off, Chaise was like 6 months old so what kind of activities does he do? Secondly, the judge ruled that they both earn about the same amount of money so no they will split any activities 50/50. She didn't like that either.

-She also wanted my brother to pay for daycare so that she could spend time going back to school and she wanted my brother to pay for her to go back to school. The major flaw I see with this is that my 20 yr old brother with a 10th grade education is suppose to pay for a 25 yr old girl who has some college to go back to school? Maybe he should ask for her to pay for HIM to go back to school. Anyway, i'm not sure if she's filed any official paperwork but I know he isn't paying anything extra at this point.

That's about all the ones I can remember. When Chaise was newly born, my brother mentioned getting a paternity test and Crystal freaked out. As a guy who had only been with a girl a few months, I know I would have done a test just to feel 100% that the kid was mine. Especially when I had no say in naming the baby & then she was being so difficult about the whole thing. My dad & I feel that even if only 1% of you wonders if it's yours, you should do the test to be sure. If the results come back that it's yours, great now you have no surprises down the road and you can feel more confident about fighting for your kid & his rights. However, if you find out it's not yours, then you've saved yourself the pain of bonding with a child that isn't yours and the woman knowing and manipulating you about it. Plus you have taken away her power to hold that possiblity over your head.

One of my friends, Danielle, let me know that you can actually order paternity kits online. Basically a lab sends you some cotton swabs and you send back one with the kid's salvia & one with yours. Then in five business days you know the results. The results don't hold up in court as there isn't a proper chain of evidence, but the way my dad & I figure is that if you get the results and it's his kid then you know 100% and Crystal is never the wiser that you did it so she doesn't have a chance to be pissed off. Then if she ever tries to pull the whole "maybe it's not your kid" down the line, you can be confident that it is. If you get the results that it isn't his kid, then you can go the proper more lab based root (& more expensive) and who cares if you piss her off because you have nothing to lose at that point.

So I googled "paternity kits" and got LOTS of results. I went with the one called www.whozthedaddy.com because it was a little less costly ($189) and the lab is based out of Edmonton so a little more local for us. My dad was here last week so he slapped down his credit card and I ordered it for him. Now, the next time my dad goes down to visit (scheduled in June) they can do the swabs and we should know for sure. You can probably expect a blog either way with the results!

you know you're getting old when...

I wanted to get a new swimsuit because the one useable suit I have is a little low cut and the top doesn't fit the best which reemphasizes how low cut it is. First I went to Penningtons (plus size store) but they had a small selection. I didn't love any of them & they were about $90 each so I left and headed for Walmart. A lot of the tops at walmart were tie up around the neck (another issue with my old suit), which I wanted to a void as it gives me neck pain. The suit I liked & went with is the reason I know I'm getting old. It is one of those dress/skirt suits I swore I'd never wear AND I think it looks cute. How did old age sneak up on me like that.

A Few Topics

Bella Bands

I've been having low back pain & some occassional pelvic pains so I thought this product, Bella Band might help. Its marketed as a product you can use from the beginning of pregnancy to the post labor days. Essentially it is a spandex tube top that you wear over your waste. I got it on Monday - so it's still early days - but I'd say my biggest complaint is that since its got spandex in it, it tends to "roll" up. Maybe that means I should have gotten the bigger size but I figured since the size three fit (yep i got to buy something in a size three, ha ha) that that's the once I should go with. I'll include a picture for your reference & I'll keep you posted on it.

Jealousy

Alright, so this girl I went to high school with who isn't a close friend but is kind of friends with a friend is pregnant right now. She had a baby in May of 2008 so with her due date info her first will be about 16 months when the second is born. I found out yesterday that her due date as been bumped up to October 2 (it was much later in October before) and since she had a c-section the first time, they will schedule her about two weeks before that for her c-section which puts it right around Sept 18th. Um, not only is my personal birthday on the 23rd but my due date is September 20th. I don't really appreciate sharing that time period with anyone else. Especially someone who just had a baby and doesn't need to hog my baby & birthday month LOL Thankfully she is not super close or anything but it's still annoying. My friend Shelley's boy was born on the 21st of 2007 so I wonder if she feels the same way about her boy's birthday. Hopefully the baby will be a week or two early so he/she doesn't have to share with anyone.

Husbands Who Work Away

Tyler has been working in other towns for a good chunk of our relationship. When your spouse works away for most of the week, it presents a few challenges: you have to do all the work around home by yourself, you get into your own schedule and then when they come home it messes it up, you just simply build your own private life and then have to fit them in when they're home on the weekends. I was willing to deal with these ramifications when it was just the two of us but I have said for a very long time that I wouldn't put up with that when we have kids. When Tyler used to work in Fort McMurray he caught the bus every Sunday in the Tim Horton's parking lot. While we waited for the right bus and the right amount of 'fullness' on the bus, I would watch the other families saying goodbye to their dad or husbands. There would even be van-ful's of kids saying goodbye. I decided then & there that it would be unfair to father & kids to have that kind of relationship.

Right now Tyler is working in Fort Saskatchewan. The plant there is booming despite the recession and there is at least a year's worth of work there, they are told. In my 8 1/2 years of experience with the Electrical Union I would say that about 90% of the jobs that are available have been in the Edmonton area or in Fort Mac. There have only been a handful of jobs in the Red Deer area and even in the Calgary area. So I basically told Tyler, that come September (when baby will be here) he needs to decide if he's going to quit the union and find an non-union job in Red Deer or stay with the union and we'll move to a community closer to Edmonton.

Even though I said come September, its really a decision that needs to be made closer to now...after all it might require selling our house here and looking for a house elsewhere and that doesn't happen overnight. And realistically, I don't want to be 9 months pregnant and moving or even non-pregnant with a very young baby. I don't think I wrote about this yet but if I did, I apologize for repeating myself!

Another Nightmare

I woke up Saturday morning from the following nightmare/dream:

I had had the baby (it was a girl who looked a lot like baby Tehya) but for some strange reason I was unable to breastfeed for one month. So for some even stranger reason, Kim was breastfeeding my baby for me. So I was getting really upset because she was doing all the so called "bonding" with MY baby but everyone else seemed okay with it because it's oh so important for baby's to have breastmilk over formula. Finally I got upset enough that I got really mad at her and said it was my baby & I'd do what I wanted to do with her.

Now let's analyze that dream LOL Well I definitely have been feeling a lot of pressure from the world to breastfeed and I've definitely been struggling with the concept. The best way I can think to explain it, is that for as long as I've had boobs they have been a sexual object. I was never really the kind of kid who "dreamt" of being a mom so I never really thought of them in their real purpose of feeding babes. So it's a little weird to think of a baby sucking on my breast but to put it in a non-sexual context. Make sense?

Anyway, I've decided to try not to really stress or think about it right now. I'm hoping that once the baby arrives it'll feel more natural to me and it won't be an issue. I don't really buy into the whole "breast is best" propaganda that is put out into society and the anti-conformist in me wants to not do it simply to rebel. However I did find out that formula costs like $300/month and that is a lot of money to spend if I don't have to. I am also inherently lazy and popping a baby onto a boob sounds like less work in the long run than making bottles!

Info Tidbit & Ultrasound Update

What is the difference between an ultrasound and a sonogram? (I get asked this a lot & I didn't know the answer but I came across it today)

An ultrasound is the machine that allows you to see your baby during your pregnancy. A sonogram is the picture taken of your baby during the ultrasound. A sonogram is a "still-shot" of your baby.

UPDATE:

-I can't get into my Doctor until May 1st (next Friday), so I have to wait until that day to see if she'll even consider giving me another ultrasound rec form.

-I called Janeen, the Tech Supervisor, at CAMIS to follow up with my complaint and she basically informed me that they are there for medical purposes and it is not their job to entertain me and that if they see gender it is a bonus. She was super bitchy and defensive and not at all sympathetic. So either she's never been pregnant before, or she has benefited from working there as a pregnant person, or they didn't have the technology in her day so she doesn't care if I have access to it. Needless to say, she didn't care if my appointment was less than positive for me as long as they got the pictures they needed. Glad to see that Customer Service is still a priority for companies today!!!! Oh, and I'm pretty sure my tax dollars pay her salary...maybe I should write a snarky letter. A little sympathy would have went a long way with me rather than the cold, attacking defense she put out.

Logical vs Emotional

So logically I know that the following experience isn't that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things...but emotional it is!

My Ultrasound Appointment Today:

So I have been counting down the sleeps to my ultrasound like a kid does for their birthday or Christmas morning. In fact, when I went to bed last night & awoke this morning it felt like Christmas! I couldn't wait until appointment when at last the mystery of boy or girl could be determined and I could finally do the things I've been waiting to do. I've been putting off looking at baby names until we could focus on one gender. I've been putting off any room decorating plans until I know which colors & schemes would be more suitable. I even thought I would be able to bond better with a little being once I knew if it was a baby boy or a baby girl. It would be one more piece of the puzzle to what kind of baby we were going to have.

The beauty of finding out this info was/is that there is no wrong answer! Yes I am leaning more towards boy but girl is still good too. I just want to know so that I can move forward with my plans and everything.

So I made sure that I drank my water this morning. And I even drank a OJ juice box because I heard it helped increase baby's activity so that you were more likely to see the appropriate parts. Then I went to CAMIS (the place that looks like a ski chalet) where my appointment was at for my 12:45pm appointment. The lady at the desk asked me if it was my first ultrasound there and I said basically yes so she gave me a laminiated card to look over. The card had a couple blurbs on it that basically said that they understand that you're excited but that they need to do their medical stuff first and then hopefully they can tell you the sex if you so wish to know. Then a woman called out my name and I got up to follow her and handed her the card (so she should know that it was my first time). She pointed me to a curtained change room & told me to put on the gown and leave on my undergarments. I didn't understand the need to be naked, so I asked if I was suppose to take off my top only or pants too? And she responded with a frosty "Undergarments on ONLY". So that was a great start.

So I got on my nice hospital gown opening to the back, and noted to self to consider not wearing a thong next time and to possibly shave my legs. She came back to get me and again in her abrupt tone told me to grab my purse (so I assumed to leave my clothes there), then to put my purse on the chair in the room and to lay back on the bed. She asked if this was my first pregnancy & I said "well i had a miscarriage before..." she asked "how far along" i said "early, less than 4 weeks". Then she said "so your first ulrasound told you your due date?" and I said "well that & my period dates". Then without anymore talking she squirted the (thankfully warmed) gel onto my pelvis area and went to town with the monitor, making sure to move it so I couldn't see a thing. About 10 minutes went by without her speaking to me when I asked "so what are you looking for at this ultrasound" to which she responded "anatomy". Okay, cranky one for sure I thought. Then after a minute or two she elborated to say something which i don't remember about the different parts all of which fall under anatomy within about 30 seconds. Then silence again.

Then some more time went by, and then she asked me to move onto my right side so she could get a different look. I asked if baby was being difficult and she said "yes" and I said that wasn't anything new. More silence. Then she asked me to move back to my back. Then she asked my husband's name to which I said Tyler and wondered why she had asked me that. She asked me if I needed to pee and I said it depended on how much longer we were going to be. She said she was all done and was just going to grab my husband to tell us stuff. I said he's not here he's working in Fort Saskatchewan. She was like "oh then I can just show you now then you can go pee". So she spun the monitor over and pointed out baby's head, arms, feet. Okay that wasn't anything new. She referred to baby as a "he" so I asked if she was able to tell the gender then and she responded with "oh, we just call all babies "he". you'll have to tell us at the beginning so if the tech has time they can look for that. so if you come in again you can ask then." and that was it.

she told me to go pee and come back. so i did, and i was trying not to cry with disappoint about not finding anything out - gender...or weigh or length or anything other than my baby has a head & four limbs. when i got back she said 'oh you can just go change cuz we need this room and then i'll come meet you at the changing room. and there are your pictures.' so i put my clothes on & looked at the pictures and they weren't clear or pronounced or really any better than the ones we got from Calgary at 13 weeks. she was taking a while so i went to the front desk to make sure that i was suppose to wait and the front desk lady told me to go back to the change room. i was there for another minute or two when the tech came back and said "yep everything's fine. and IF you come back tell them at the beginning."

so i managed to make it to my car and then i started crying because i had built up this moment so much and here i knew absolutely nothing and it seemed like that was because she was too busy to find out. i had booked this appointment 6 weeks in advance and they were too busy to tell me the one thing i wanted to know. everything i had every read about ultrasounds at this stage basically said that if you DIDN'T want to know to make sure that was clear at the beginning. i wasn't prepared at all for telling her i wanted to know in advance.

I've spent a good long time being upset, and whenever I try to talk about it or think about it I start crying again. It doesn't help that I am a hormonal pregnant lady. At first I wasn't sure if I was allowed to be upset or what but my friend Megan assures me that this was suppose to be my experience as much as it is a medical necessity and that I shouldn't have to leave feeling the way I did. She called the CAMIS on my behalf to put in a complaint about the way it was handled and see if I could re-book an appointment ASAP. Megan was very diplomat about the whole thing for me repeating that we didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings and that we understood they weren't there for our "entertainment" (as they put it) but that it's still a service and that I should have come away at least with a better explanation and a little more info about baby. The lady didn't sound very forthcoming on the phone so I am suppose to call her myself, which I'll do when I am a little less teary eyed about it. I did put in a phone call to my Dr.Phil as she seems like a much more sympathetic individual, hoping that I can get a new ultrasound rec asap and then go to the other place in town that is easier/faster to get into and has a little better bedside manor. I think i will try to do all future business with them as much as possible!

I'll add my new lame ass photos for your judgement...the first one will be my 13 weeks so you can compare.

It seemed like a good idea at the time...

When I was talking to Tyler on the phone tonight he was telling me about the burger & onion rings he had for supper and I was like "that sounds so good, I'm going to go get that". So I drove threw snow flurries & got a teen burger and onion rings, then I ate about 3/4 of it...and now I feel nasty, gross & disgusting. It tasted good going down but now it feels like it is going to come back up. I almost always feel this way after A&W so I don't know what I have this amnesia about it shortly before purchasing...blah!

Pregnancy Dreams

One of the most common experiences pregnant women have is "weird" dreams. I personally, have always had weird dreams! But now I feel a little more normal for it ha ha Here is a recount of my dream last night that left me very weirded out this morning...

THE DREAM:

I awake in a ficticious bathtub, having the knowledge that I've been in there for a while (anywhere from a few hours to a few days, I can't remember which one or if it was both, you know how dreams are). I feel kind of weird 'down there' so I reach down and feel that I am crowning! The nice thing is that I don't feel any pain, the not cool thing is that I am about to give birth. So Tyler calls an ambulance & I'm excited until I remember that I'm not even 5 months pregnant yet and that giving birth is a bad thing.

Dreams are so bizarre in how they cross real life with fiction. I watched an episode of "Cold Case" last night in which a woman who was sick, passed out on her bathroom floor, and no one found her for two days. So that could be part of the dream origin. As for the crowning, I'm not sure. It was creepy, and I've been creeped out all day remembering it!

Coming out of the closet...

Well I’ve been out-ed.

No, not the lesbian kind.

And no not even the pregnant kind (cuz I’m still kind of in the closet about that with some people).

It’s the financial failure closet that I was in. And now I am out.

See although Tyler & I have been together more than 8 years, and married for 3 ½ of those, we started our relationship with very separate views about money and thus kept our money separate. In the beginning we had our own accounts and chose how we spent our own money and split most of the bills 50/50. As our relationship got more committed and he started earning more money we sort’ve combined our accounts but it’s still very separate. We definitely still have very different views on how money should be spent: me on frivolous things and Tyler on nothing at all!

Anyway, long story short...I've technically been unemployed for the last 15 months but I've continued to spend like I have a full time job. I've basically racked up all my credit (credit cards & a line of credit) to the point of "maxed" by the end of December and I've just been paying the minimums for the last few months. I didn't go out of my way to hide it from Tyler, but I also didn't advertise it either. On Easter Monday when he was home, he was digging through the paper pile looking for something and came across one of my statements. Surprisingly, he didn't even bring it up until Wednesday night, and he was much more calm about it then I would have expected. I guess for me, I'm seeing HUGE amounts of money with little to no income coming in on my end as I'm the one who racked them up, I should be the one who needs to work hard to pay them off. Tyler, very nicely, suggested that I should limit my extra-ciricular activities until I've paid off some of my bills which I completely agree with.

I think for me, money spending is as much as addiction as my junk food habit is for me and the drugs and alcohol can be for others. As far as I'm concerned, an addiciton is when you look outside yourself to fulfil something inside yourself. So I need to start doing more fulfilling things and less "empty" things. Easier said then done I think!

Fatness or Baby Belly?

You decide...here's one pic of me sort've sucking it in & one letting it hang out.

We took these today, officially 18 weeks.

Only 5 more days until our Ultrasound :-D